I (24F) am not married but there's a proposal which has been getting serious and prior to agreeing to marry, I want to know what exactly I'm getting into as someone who's terrified of birth control methods. For context, I have no desire to have kids and all BC methods seem terrifying because they either are very invasive or they cause weight gain. How were you guys able to figure it out and what would you suggest to someone like me besides trying different methods until I find the right one.
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Track cycle and use condoms.
Is your potential also on the same page of not wanting kids?
Everyone responds differently to different contraceptives. I was like you when I got married, I was so sacred of bc and ended up in unwanted pregnancy (cuz of timing).
The best thing to avoid pregnancy without the side effects of bc is getting in tune with your cycle and using condoms. It is important you have a discussion on this with him if things progress.
I've yet to meet and discuss about kids with him. If he disagrees then obviously he's not the one.
I've read alot about tuning with cycle but many people say it's not as effective and even my own cycle varies. And I can only have proper discussion with him on this topic once things have worked out because its frowned upon in my culture to talk about this before the wedding 🙃
You’re right, you guys are not there yet. I assumed y’all were further along.
I agree, I think that only work for people whose cycles are always consistent. I personally wouldn’t replay on that so I’d say condom is the way to go ig.
Also I hope you find your man that is child free sis! I am one and done. Can’t do this again ðŸ˜
Thank you for the help and for wishing on me a childfree man. Big ameen to that ðŸ˜
I hope you're doing well and pray ease for you as a mother. I can't even imagine how exhausting motherhood can be.
You have a lot of options but it also depends on what your husband is okay with. Not all hormonal BC cause weight gain. The most effective are IUD, pill, implant etc. The most invasive is an IUD but it’s not any more invasive than a Pap smear (which you should be getting already starting age 21). Physical protection is less effective. Condoms fail and some men refuse to use them every time.Â
Tracking your period sounds like a perfect solution with apps and temperatures and rings (don’t use it support oura ring) until some random event throws off your cycle (like traveling, an illness, diet, even just working out too hard) and you don’t realize it until your period is 2 weeks late and you’re having weird symptoms but you’re in denial and finally take a pregnancy test and BOOM it’s instantly positive….. (speaking from experience lol - and now I have a very nice IUD and sleep so peacefully lol)
The older people (moms and aunties) like to scare girls off of BC before they know their options and try it. If you try one and it doesn’t work for you, wait a while and then decide if you want to try another. Otherwise just hope your husband is okay with condoms (and abstaining while you’re ovulating to be really safe). It’s better to use 2 methods of BC if condoms are your main defense.Â
Good luck!
Look up anti-androgen birth control pills. They do not have the side effects that androgen birth control pills have, such as acne, weight gain, mood swings, excessive body hair growth, or thinning hair. Of course, every one interacts with medicine differently, but I too was scared of the side effects of birth control pills for yeaaars. I tried the cooper IUD and that was terrible for me as I had prolonged periods because of it. Finally I got it taken out after a year and then discussed birth control pill options with my doctor, who explained the difference between anti-androgen and androgen birth control pills. My doctor recommended Yaz and told me to give it a try for at least 3 months and if I didn't like it, I could stop and we could figure something else out. I decided to give it a try; I got the generic version of Yaz, which basically has the same chemical make-up and dosage of Yaz, but just not labeled. This was 2 years ago, and I am still on it. It has been absolutely wonderful and I personally have not experienced any side effects with it. In fact, even my skin cleared up wonderfully (I had hormonal acne) and now only get an occasional blemish here and there around my period. Talk to your doctor about this and have her explain androgen and anti-androgen birth control pills and the difference, and do some of your own research as well.
not all birth control methods are hormonal like pills which often are the ones that cause weight gain, mood swings etc. there’s non invasive methods like tracking your cycle. there’s also non hormonal methods: copper iuds (still invasive cause they literally put it into your cervix), condoms both female and male, pulling out etc.
do your research because they all have pros and cons and different effectiveness. it’s always best to combine two so it can be more effective.
I will put it how my daughters doctor did, they don’t cause weight gain, they do cause you to feel more hungry. What and how much you eat is up to you. If you give in and eat high calorie stuff vs giving in and eating low calorie stuff you gain weight. She’s had hers for 8 months and maintained her weight. I’m losing on my method of choice currently.
You could measure your temperature each day, to get the fertile days. The theory is that your temperature is higher when being able to receive. It’s hormone free and similar to the calendar method but with a temperature indicator. There are tools for that. Also in combination with observing other symptoms they are kinda reliable, but you need to do it every day same time and be careful not to manipulate it by having fever, too less sleep etc.