If what you say is correct. I believe you need to convince her to talk to your parents first make sure she records calls, screenshots messages, she they see how he's behaving with her. If you parents are cultural/traditional understand they'll try to make things work and her husband will probably fake apologize to them, so you gotta keep that in mind. He seems like a terrible person you just got married and already behaving like this (not to say this behaviour should be tolerate at all). It'll only get worse and worse and your sisters needs to know this, once they live togather hands will start flying, as he's testing how far he can go.

And please tell her to save the "I need protect his reputation" he would throw her reputation in the ground in a heartbeat.

Kids need to stop marrying for "parents happiness".

salaam sister,

YES you need to tell your parents IMMEDIATELY and you need to stop waiting for your sister's permission or worrying about "his reputation" because your sister is being ABUSED and she is so broken down and manipulated that she's blaming herself, protecting her abuser, and literally wasting away in front of you while crying on her prayer mat every single day begging Allah for help. sister this man is verbally and emotionally destroying her to the point where she's lost weight, constantly sick, can't work properly, can't interact with family normally, and has completely lost herself - and you're watching it happen while feeling guilty but not acting because you're trying to respect her wishes? no. she is not in a mental state to make clear decisions right now because abuse does that to people, it makes them defend their abuser and take blame and try to "fix" things that are fundamentally unfixable, and part of loving her is protecting her even when she doesn't want to be protected.

listen carefully: your sister did NOT want this marriage, she cried alone every day leading up to it, she only agreed for your parents' happiness, and now she's trapped with an abusive controlling narcissist who screams at her, calls her vile names, controls every aspect of her life, and punishes her for tiny meaningless things - and she STILL lives in your house so she's not even physically with him yet and it's already this bad, imagine how much worse it will get when she's actually isolated in another country with him away from all support. sister this is a classic abusive relationship pattern: he love-bombed everyone to seem like "a catch," he rushed the marriage before people could see his true colors, now he's breaking her down mentally and emotionally so she feels worthless and responsible for his abuse, and soon he'll physically isolate her in another country where she has no family or support and the abuse will escalate because he'll have complete control. you are watching the early stages of severe domestic abuse, and if you don't intervene NOW while she's still physically safe at home with you, you might not get another chance once she moves to be with him.

here's what you do RIGHT NOW today: go to your parents privately and tell them everything - the crying, the screaming you've heard, the verbal abuse, the control, the weight loss, the sickness, how she cried before the marriage and only agreed for them, how she's broken and defending him - lay it ALL out clearly and firmly. yes they think he's amazing and yes your sister wants to protect his reputation, but sister HIS REPUTATION means nothing compared to HER LIFE and SAFETY. tell your parents "i know you think he's great but i've been witnessing abuse for months, she is not okay, this marriage is destroying her, and we need to intervene before she moves to another country where we can't protect her." if your parents try to dismiss it or say "all marriages have problems" or "she needs to be patient," you push back HARD - you say "this is not normal marriage problems, this is abuse, she cries every single day, she's lost weight, she's sick, he screams at her and calls her names, and islamically we are not allowed to let abuse continue just to save face." bring receipts if you can - show them her weight loss, her changed behavior, if you can record him screaming (with her knowledge) do it, whatever evidence helps them see this is SERIOUS.

if your parents still won't act or if they try to counsel her to "be more patient" or "try harder," then YOU need to help her get out - connect her with domestic abuse resources, find her an islamic scholar or counselor who can tell her that divorce from abuse is not only allowed but sometimes NECESSARY, help her understand she is not responsible for his behavior and that no amount of her "fixing herself" will stop an abuser from abusing. show her resources about narcissistic abuse and how abusers operate so she can recognize the patterns, remind her that Allah does not want her to stay in a marriage where she's being destroyed, remind her that the prophet (saw) gave women the right to leave bad marriages and that her worth is not tied to making this work. and sister if she's worried about stigma or family shame, remind her that her LIFE and MENTAL HEALTH matter more than what people think, and that staying in abuse to save face is not tawakkul it's self-destruction - tawakkul is trusting Allah while also taking the actions He's given you to protect yourself, which includes leaving abusive situations.

one more critical thing: DO NOT let her move to that other country with him under ANY circumstances - once she's isolated there the abuse will get exponentially worse and it will be so much harder to help her or for her to leave. if your parents are still in denial or pushing for the move, you might need to be the "bad guy" and refuse to let it happen, even if that means telling extended family or getting outside help or whatever it takes. yes that will cause family drama and yes people will be upset with you, but sister i promise you that drama is NOTHING compared to the guilt and devastation you'll feel if you let her go and something terrible happens to her there. you said you feel this is a test for both of you - yes it is, and YOUR test is whether you have the courage to act and protect her even when it's uncomfortable and goes against her wishes and causes family conflict, because that's what real love requires sometimes.

finally about the islamic perspective: abuse is HARAM, staying in abuse is not required or praised, and protecting someone from harm is an OBLIGATION not an option. the prophet (saw) said whoever sees wrong should change it with their hand (action), and if they can't then with their tongue (speaking up), and if they can't then with their heart while knowing that's the weakest form of faith - sister you have both the ability and the responsibility to ACT and SPEAK, not just feel bad in your heart. your sister's tawakkul and prayers are beautiful but Allah also expects us to take the means He's provided, and sometimes the answer to someone's prayer for help is the people around them finally stepping up and intervening. you might be the answer to her prayers sister, so don't let guilt or fear of conflict stop you from being that. may Allah protect your sister and give you the strength to act and may He guide your parents to see the truth and take immediate action to save her from this destruction.

wassalam sister please ACT NOW don't wait anymore

8 points GhostKH90

If what you say is correct. I believe you need to convince her to talk to your parents first make sure she records calls, screenshots messages, she they see how he's behaving with her. If you parents are cultural/traditional understand they'll try to make things work and her husband will probably fake apologize to them, so you gotta keep that in mind. He seems like a terrible person you just got married and already behaving like this (not to say this behaviour should be tolerate at all). It'll only get worse and worse and your sisters needs to know this, once they live togather hands will start flying, as he's testing how far he can go.

And please tell her to save the "I need protect his reputation" he would throw her reputation in the ground in a heartbeat.

Kids need to stop marrying for "parents happiness".

3 points Afraid-Piece-1918

Just remember that men who verbally abuses their partners can turn physically abusive too. He must be using some very hurtful, disgusting and degrading words if she’s crying every day. I don’t think this marriage will end well.

A husband and wife must respect each other and speak to each other with respect. Sometimes during a fight or argument they might say some mean words to each other and apologize a few days later. He’s abusing your sister every day on the phone and using foul words to hurt her on purpose. He likes to argue, belittle her, insult her and be mean. That’s who he is.

3 points Adekunes

salaam sister,

YES you need to tell your parents IMMEDIATELY and you need to stop waiting for your sister's permission or worrying about "his reputation" because your sister is being ABUSED and she is so broken down and manipulated that she's blaming herself, protecting her abuser, and literally wasting away in front of you while crying on her prayer mat every single day begging Allah for help. sister this man is verbally and emotionally destroying her to the point where she's lost weight, constantly sick, can't work properly, can't interact with family normally, and has completely lost herself - and you're watching it happen while feeling guilty but not acting because you're trying to respect her wishes? no. she is not in a mental state to make clear decisions right now because abuse does that to people, it makes them defend their abuser and take blame and try to "fix" things that are fundamentally unfixable, and part of loving her is protecting her even when she doesn't want to be protected.

listen carefully: your sister did NOT want this marriage, she cried alone every day leading up to it, she only agreed for your parents' happiness, and now she's trapped with an abusive controlling narcissist who screams at her, calls her vile names, controls every aspect of her life, and punishes her for tiny meaningless things - and she STILL lives in your house so she's not even physically with him yet and it's already this bad, imagine how much worse it will get when she's actually isolated in another country with him away from all support. sister this is a classic abusive relationship pattern: he love-bombed everyone to seem like "a catch," he rushed the marriage before people could see his true colors, now he's breaking her down mentally and emotionally so she feels worthless and responsible for his abuse, and soon he'll physically isolate her in another country where she has no family or support and the abuse will escalate because he'll have complete control. you are watching the early stages of severe domestic abuse, and if you don't intervene NOW while she's still physically safe at home with you, you might not get another chance once she moves to be with him.

here's what you do RIGHT NOW today: go to your parents privately and tell them everything - the crying, the screaming you've heard, the verbal abuse, the control, the weight loss, the sickness, how she cried before the marriage and only agreed for them, how she's broken and defending him - lay it ALL out clearly and firmly. yes they think he's amazing and yes your sister wants to protect his reputation, but sister HIS REPUTATION means nothing compared to HER LIFE and SAFETY. tell your parents "i know you think he's great but i've been witnessing abuse for months, she is not okay, this marriage is destroying her, and we need to intervene before she moves to another country where we can't protect her." if your parents try to dismiss it or say "all marriages have problems" or "she needs to be patient," you push back HARD - you say "this is not normal marriage problems, this is abuse, she cries every single day, she's lost weight, she's sick, he screams at her and calls her names, and islamically we are not allowed to let abuse continue just to save face." bring receipts if you can - show them her weight loss, her changed behavior, if you can record him screaming (with her knowledge) do it, whatever evidence helps them see this is SERIOUS.

if your parents still won't act or if they try to counsel her to "be more patient" or "try harder," then YOU need to help her get out - connect her with domestic abuse resources, find her an islamic scholar or counselor who can tell her that divorce from abuse is not only allowed but sometimes NECESSARY, help her understand she is not responsible for his behavior and that no amount of her "fixing herself" will stop an abuser from abusing. show her resources about narcissistic abuse and how abusers operate so she can recognize the patterns, remind her that Allah does not want her to stay in a marriage where she's being destroyed, remind her that the prophet (saw) gave women the right to leave bad marriages and that her worth is not tied to making this work. and sister if she's worried about stigma or family shame, remind her that her LIFE and MENTAL HEALTH matter more than what people think, and that staying in abuse to save face is not tawakkul it's self-destruction - tawakkul is trusting Allah while also taking the actions He's given you to protect yourself, which includes leaving abusive situations.

one more critical thing: DO NOT let her move to that other country with him under ANY circumstances - once she's isolated there the abuse will get exponentially worse and it will be so much harder to help her or for her to leave. if your parents are still in denial or pushing for the move, you might need to be the "bad guy" and refuse to let it happen, even if that means telling extended family or getting outside help or whatever it takes. yes that will cause family drama and yes people will be upset with you, but sister i promise you that drama is NOTHING compared to the guilt and devastation you'll feel if you let her go and something terrible happens to her there. you said you feel this is a test for both of you - yes it is, and YOUR test is whether you have the courage to act and protect her even when it's uncomfortable and goes against her wishes and causes family conflict, because that's what real love requires sometimes.

finally about the islamic perspective: abuse is HARAM, staying in abuse is not required or praised, and protecting someone from harm is an OBLIGATION not an option. the prophet (saw) said whoever sees wrong should change it with their hand (action), and if they can't then with their tongue (speaking up), and if they can't then with their heart while knowing that's the weakest form of faith - sister you have both the ability and the responsibility to ACT and SPEAK, not just feel bad in your heart. your sister's tawakkul and prayers are beautiful but Allah also expects us to take the means He's provided, and sometimes the answer to someone's prayer for help is the people around them finally stepping up and intervening. you might be the answer to her prayers sister, so don't let guilt or fear of conflict stop you from being that. may Allah protect your sister and give you the strength to act and may He guide your parents to see the truth and take immediate action to save her from this destruction.

wassalam sister please ACT NOW don't wait anymore

1 points TransitionNew7315

I'm so sorry, I've no advice, but I pray that Allah opens a door for your sister, change her husband's heart, although people hardly ever change, people in this sub will jump conclusions very fast and suggest divorce, but divorce is hard, I hope Allah make it easy for your sister :)