r/MovieSuggestions December 2025 Town Hall

(A Lamentation in 12-Point Font)

Dear Remaining Members,

Another month has elapsed. The sun, indifferent as ever, watches our 30 degree arc while we sit in darkened rooms arguing whether Zootopia 2 constitutes a legitimate artistic statement. Time, that most relentless of projectionists, has advanced the reel by precisely 60 days, 6 hours, and 7 minutes since the last town hall you probably didn’t read. We persist nonetheless.

November in Review: A Catalogue of Minor Distractions

The following films temporarily arrested the community’s collective descent into existential apathy. Rankings are derived from upvotes, a metric that correlates only loosely with aesthetic merit but perfectly with the human need to feel momentarily less alone.

Rank	Title (Year)	Reason for Temporary Relevance	Upvotes (a meaningless integer)
1	Zootopia 2 (2025)	Anthropomorphic mammals solve crimes again	1,218
2	Wicked: For Good (2025)	People in green makeup sing about friendship	982
3	Predator: Badlands (2025)	Yet another alien with poor dental hygiene	853
4	Keeper (2025)	Someone stares at another person for 112 minutes	724
5	Hamnet (2025)	Shakespeare’s son dies; audience reminded of own mortality	651
6–10	[Data redacted to spare you further ennui]	Various moving images of varying quality	Declining integers

Please note that none of these works will accompany you into the silence that follows your final exhalation.

The Top Nine Commenters: November’s Most Prolific Soliloquists

These individuals typed the greatest number of characters into the void over the last 3,000 submissions. Their reward is a table on the internet that approximately 43 of you will skim.

Rank	Username	Comments Posted	Tragic Observation
1	u/shrimptini	300	Still waiting for someone to watch the director’s cut they recommended in 2019
2	u/Acceptable_Foot3370	137	Has seen 4,312 films and liked precisely 11
3	u/deadflowers5	98	Owns 47 copies of Blade Runner in different formats
4	u/Blazenkks	98	Types “If you liked X, try Y” with mechanical precision
5	u/DougO24	97	Sleeps with the light on despite being 38
6	u/CountingSheep99	95	Defends the theatrical experience while streaming on a cracked phone screen
7	u/jupiterkansas	87	Corrects aspect-ratio misinformation with religious fervor
8	u/ArrantPariah	87	Experiences no cognitive dissonance transitioning from Barbie to Salo
9	u/Ambitious-Car-7230	79	Owns a functioning Betamax and considers this a personality

We salute their futile diligence.

December Viewing Recommendations (Mandatory)

The calendar insists upon festivity. We insist upon the following corrective viewing schedule to counteract compulsory cheer:

• Melancholia (2011) – for when the planet-destroying rogue body feels like a personal favor
• The Remains of the Day (1993) – repressed British people not saying what they mean for 134 minutes
• Grave of the Fireflies (1988) – to ensure no one finishes December emotionally intact
• It’s a Wonderful Life (1946) – but only if watched while contemplating compound interest and quiet desperation

A Feeble Plea from the Moderation Crypt

If, against all reason, you possess a suggestion for improving this subreddit (a new rule, a recurring thread theme, a different color for the “banned” flair, the abolition of joy, etc.), cobble together a comment below or please deposit it in the single, officially sanctioned location:

Suggestion Box – “Ideas that will almost certainly be ignored but at least filed correctly”

Closing Remarks

Another 1/12 of a revolution around the sun concludes. The films will keep coming, the comments will keep scrolling, and none of it will alter the heat death of the universe by even one femtosecond.

We remain, against all better judgment,
The Moderation Team
(six tired people and one bot that sometimes forgets to ban spam)

A Brief Addendum of Despair (Please Read Before Typing)

Kindly refrain from the following activities, as they accelerate the moderators’ slow transformation into hollow-eyed husks:

1. Asking where to watch anything. We do not possess a magical oracle that knows which of the 47 streaming services currently holds the license to Zootopia 2 in your specific postcode. We are not JustWatch. We are barely people. Use Google, or better yet, embrace the quiet dignity of owning nothing.
2. Requesting help remembering “that one movie from the 90s where a guy did a thing.” Every week approximately 11 of you describe the exact plot of The Game (1997) while insisting it had “a kid in it, maybe?” and “definitely not Fight Club.” There exists a subreddit literally named r/tipofmytongue. Please haunt it instead of us. We beg you. Our eyes are twitching.
3. Do not, under any circumstances, create a fresh post titled “What is your favourite movie?” only for us to discover lo and behold that such a thread has existed every Tuesday since 2014. Explaining what “too generic” means over and over causes us physical pain equivalent to watching the 1998 Godzilla in 4:3 open-matte.

We read every modmail. We respond to approximately 3% of them before our will to live pines away.

These three questions, asked with religious devotion since 2011, are the administrative equivalent of water torture performed with a leaky 4K Blu-ray case.

Your cooperation will postpone our inevitable collapse by perhaps 0.7 busines days.

Thank you for your understanding, or at least your silence.

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