Just to pre-face, I'm 16 and my mom passed a few years back so I never really learned how to properly take care of some things concerning hair? My dad and brother have helped me but I feel like I'm still far behind other people in that aspect, and I was wondering if I could ask a question here if that's ok.
So, I have pretty thick hair that goes down my shoulders and it got really tangled to a point where conditioning, oil, and trying to comb it out didn't seem to work-- so I decided to cut my losses and cut the tangled parts out. It felt a lot better and I wasn't particularly mourning the loss anymore, but I've also never cut my hair before and while it looked unchanged- I was wondering if there was any way I could've untangled it. Along with that, what can I do with my hair moving forwards?
For reference as mentioned before my hair has volume, is relatively wavy, and goes down to my shoulders and a bit below. I also wash my hair twice a week (twice and with conditioner).
Any advice? Thank you :-}
You may need to wash more often or shampoo twice when you do. When you're young, you tend to be oilier. I washed my hair daily until almost 40 because it got so greasy. Not so much anymore, but it's definitely a thing.
Getting a good cut at a salon will help your hair fall well if it's not right now. If it's very thick, you can get it thinned out a bit to make it easier to manage.
Constant upkeep will be the key but it doesn't have to be time consuming. Brush your hair before bed then braid it. There are videos on YouTube to teach you to braid. You'll get it in no time with practice. When you get up in the morning, brush it again. If you find it's difficult to get all the way through to the bottom of your hair when brushing, put the top half into a ponytail or clip then brush the bottom. Then you can take the top half down and brush it.
Always brush from the bottom up so you aren't setting the tangles in more. Make sure to condition your ends when you wash. Hair that's been tangled into k it's gets damaged and damaged hair is then more likely to tangled again. Another thing you can do is an oil mask once a week. Coat your hair and scalp with olive, coconut, or another natural oil. Leave it on for a few hours then shampoo it out. It won't fix any damage but it will make your hair more manageable.
If you have any questions, let me know.
Thank you so much. I always shampoo twice when showering and I try to apply coconut oil around 10-20 minutes beforehand. I'll look for those videos on Youtube thank you for informing me about them
I have just one question, since you mentioned braiding before bed is that a better option than going to bed with your hair free?
Yes. Braiding keeps your hair from tangling while you're sleeping which makes morning much easier. Another option would be a silk bonnet, but if you move around a lot, braiding is better.
Okay! Thank you so much
For sure. Good luck with it and let us know how it goes. Learning how to take care of your particular hair can be frustrating and sometimes, right when you thibk you've got it all figured out, something will change.
Thank you for your advice, and I definitely will :)
Growing up, I was not allowed to go to bed with my hair loose. Or swim with it loose. This was to make detangeling easier. And I only have waivy hair.
With thick and curly, you really want it controlled at night.
You may also consider sleeping with bonnet, or silk/setting pillow case. This reduces friction while sleeping, and can really tame curly/ highly texture hair.
Additionally, you want to make sure you've got plenty of moisture so your hair doesn't break. Most curly hired people I know (including my husband, who has very curly hair) washes their hair with conditioner, and washed with harsher soaps/shampoos less often. (Everyone's hair is different, so it takes a little experimentation to figure out what works bet for you).
Additionally, when brushing, section your hair. I.e., take a clip, and only leave small sections of your hair loose at a time. Then make sure you start at the ends, and brush your way up. That ensures that you are not taking a tangle from the roots, and brushing it down onto a tangle in the ends, forong the two tangle together, and making things worse. Instead, you re detangelimg the end, then the middle, then the roots.
This is excellent advice. I'll just add: shampoo twice, hair mask, and then conditioner. You can even sleep with the hair mask to let it work its magic overnight.
Your hair might be very fine, dry or brittle. Next time you see a hairdresser, ask what type of products you should use.
When you brush your hair, section it and start each section by brushing the bottom part, like 10cm or so. When that's smooth, start from a bit higher up and brush through the section again.
Thank you! The last part is especially helpful because I usually try starting at the top which almost made it worse? What you're saying makes more sense now that I think about it lol
Also check your brushes - you probably need a tangle teezer or detangling brush made for thick hair. They have flexible bristles and gently teeze the hair loose.
Detangling spray is often better than oil too
I was thinking about the brushes so I started to use some that have wider gaps so that it's a bit easier to detangle.
Also, thank you for telling me about the spray, I'll definitely look more into it :-)
Do you have a hairdresser? You should go regularly even with long hair for a trim to keep it looking healthy. The hairdresser also could advise you as to your type of hair. I have thin fine wavy hair so I am not necessarily the best person to advise on this. My thought would have been to get a good deep conditioner and lather it on, put under a shower cap and let sit for 5-10 minutes. Then use your fingers in sections to go through your hair. But again, this is not my hair type so I cannot say for sure if it would have worked.
I definitely need to get into looking for a hairdresser, we just moved here so I might ask my friends about it. Also, I never thought of the conditioner idea, thanks a bunch, I can try it out once to see how it goes
Thank you! I appreciate it
Thick knotty hair….
Wash, condition, use a wide tooth comb to comb after a few minutes. Be gentle. Start at the ends and gently move upward toward the scalp. Be gentle.
Rinse conditioner a bit.
Wrap in towel and gently comb through.
If OP’s hair gets knotty while drying (air dry), gently comb through starting at the ends.
You might want to check if you're hair is really that straight you think it is. The tangled situation could indicate you have wavy hair. Check the wavy haircut subreddit. Otherwise take a detangle brush and start from your ends. I thought I had straight hair and it was tangled and puffy but I figured out it's wavy
In the category of things that it can't hurt to try, try washing with shampoo, putting in conditioner, detangling with a comb while the conditioner is in your hair, and then rinsing your hair. Don't rub your hair with a towel to dry it, just wrap it in a towel or an old t-shirt until it's only damp, and then let it air dry. Don't brush it after it's dry.
You might notice that your hair forms waves or curls when you wash it this way. In that case, you can check out the wavy hair or curly hair subreddits to get ideas about other things you can try for taking care of your hair.
after checking and also talking with my older brother you're right in that it is more wavy, so thank you both for informing me!! and I'll check those places out. I also usually do as you say (wrapping it in a towel till it's damp) to prevent headaches
Older sister with thick, wavy hair adding on quick.
Use a microfiber towel on your hair if possible. They're really absorbent and gentler on your hair. You can get ones that are actually designed to be hair turbans that button in place and stay on really nice while you do your post shower routine. They have multi packs on Amazon for around $15.
I also started using a new style of hairbrush recently called an Unbrush (also on Amazon lol). The bristles are decently widely spaced and set at two different lengths which makes it more gentle than other brushes when detangling.
Good advice.
I've been in a similar situation, long bipolar depressive episode, my hairstylist had to cut off a lot of hair because she couldn't get the tangles out.
My hair is waist length and naturally curly and gets tangled overnight (also sometimes when I'm depressed I spend a lot of time in bed and don't comb or brush it for days). At certain points it's gotten really bad (we're talking total rats' nest) and for me what works is a detangling brush, and a LOT of patience. Separating it into chunks seems to make it easier. Start at the ends and work your way up. Also try putting your hair up or braiding it at night, that might help prevent it from getting all knotted up again. And as someone else mentioned, a detangling spray might come in handy!
As for preventing further tangles, when I wash my hair I comb out the tangles with lots of conditioner in the shower. I put it in a loose bun when I sleep and use a silk pillowcase. I run a wide-toothed comb through it when I get up, and before I go to bed.
I remember my aunt usually separating it into chunks when combing, and it did seem to make things a lot easier, thank you for reminding me!! Also I'll be sure to do what you guys said with the starting at the ends of the hair and going up practice
Also I understand (if that's the appropriate word) you, sometimes you just don't have the motivation to do things thatre seemingly easy but I'm really glad you have a solution for it now !
Thank you, and no problem. 💙 Brushing/combing from the ends is better because when you try to brush from the roots you're kind of just... pushing the tangles down and making them worse, if that makes sense. It's easier to tease them out when you start at the bottom. Neither of my parents have curly hair so I kind of had to figure this out myself once I was a teenager and started growing my hair long. 😹
Yeah.. I see how that makes it worse now that you mention it, and figuring it out is the hard part LOL
My hair tangles quite a bit. I use a spray bottle with 1/3 conditioner and 2/3 water. Spray my hair down and brush it out. The conditioner really helps make it easier and less painful. Try to brush it out regularly to help ensure it doesn't get "matted". I brush my hair three to four times a day to keep the big tangles at bay.
Maybe hit up a salon as well and have them thin out your hair so it'll be easier to handle.
I've never thought about using a spray bottle for that, but now that you mentioned it I can see how it makes it a lot easier. And I'll definitely try to brush it out more often during each day from now on! I'm also happy you found a solution for your hair tangling :)
I have long, thick, bone straight hair that tangles like crazy because of hard water and winter coats. I switched from my paddle brushes to the Wet brand detangling brushes (best results from their leaf-shaped plant-based plastic ones), wash and condition with Tresemmé Lamellar, and then use a leave-in conditioner after I've towel-dried. I'm presently using not your mother's naturals honey and melon thinned out with water. I'm older and probably in a different climate, so try different ones and find what works for you.
Also, bonnets. Bonnets are the night-time solution. They work so much better than braids. Get two so you always have a clean one. Silk is best, but a high quality satin is a solid choice.
It definitely would be helpful to try different types to get a feel of what will work, and when I buy them I'll be sure to get multiple ! Thank you for your help
Hi Baby Bear, this Mama Bear has super-thick, coarse, straight hair.
If you keep your hair long, you have to brush it every day. If you don’t wash it daily, at least get it wet to make brushing easier.
If you keep it short, you can get away without brushing it every day. I keep mine short and spiky.
I had short hair once and while I hated the look, you are right in that it's just much easier to take care of! I am also trying to brush it a couple of times daily at certain times (like morning, after school, before bed)
Thank you!
Keeping it short is the only way I’ve found for it to hold a style longer than half an hour because it’s so heavy. I also get it cut with a razor so the edges are softer and it’s lighter overall.
I can't lie, going to bed, haircare, and doing just about anything after cutting my hair pretty short was a huge breath of air! It's so much easier to hold a style like you've mentioned
I have similar hair to you. - See if you can get a satin hair bonnet to wear while you sleep. A lot of the tangles happen during sleep if you’re not wearing a bonnet.
Get a Denman brush, those are the best I’ve found for detangling. Use it in the shower while you have the conditioner in your hair. Brush it while it’s wet, with conditioner in it, starting from the 1 inch up the hair and brushing down, then go up to 2 inches and brush down, etc. and work your way all the way up. Get ALL the tangles out at each shower. Even little ones, if left in, create aggregation points for more tangles.
get hair trims (tiny tiny trims, just the ends, like 1/4 inch) once every 4-6 weeks. This keeps the split ends from spreading. Split ends grab onto the other hairs and make a starting point for tangles. You can do these trims yourself if you are careful and use decent hair cutting scissors.
I came to say very similar things, and particularly getting some of those tangles out while in the shower with conditioner on!
I second the bonnet, and the Denman brush (you can get it on amazon, just be sure it’s an actual Denman). I also use a spray in conditioner once I’m out of the shower.
Are you trying to encourage your curls?
All excellent advice already. I have like 3 tangle teezers in my house, and I swear by them. I have very thick hair too, and wear it long most of the time.
I also have a bonnet and satin pillowcases, which helps a lot.
You'll get there. Sorry you have to do it yourself hon, but we're here.
Thank you :-) I'm so grateful for all of your responses and I'll be sure to ask any other questions I have here if need be
Sorry for your loss hon. We're all proud of you, and we believe you can do it.
Thank you miss 💙
Sleeping with it in a bonnet or braids can help a lot. A satin pillowcase is also a big help.
Never heard about a satin pillowcase before, will look into it! And thank you
You could have split ends, those tend to tangle worse than unbroken hair. I went in for my first cut after years and I had a solid four inches of split ends. I don't even use heat tools or anything, so I was surprised.
When my daughter was in first grade she had absolutely gorgeous thick, naturally wavy hair all the way to her waist and she got a knot that I literally worked on for hours. I used olive oil and peanut butter as a last resort. I took her to a stylist and even she was like, "Some knots just don't come out."
So I think you're fine. Go to a salon and get a maintenance trim just to make sure everything is healthy and blended and you're good.
I'm not sure if this applies to you. But my new hair growth, has a crazy crooked 1-2" at the end. This tends to form tangles, so I keep the ends trimmed. I do "dusting" trims to keep those crooked ends away so it can grow long without tangling. I don't get split ends
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