Oh honey, I can’t hear your hurt loud and clear. I’m so sorry your first year ended like this. You’ve probably heard this, but it bears repeating: What do you call a med student who takes an extra year to graduate? Doctor. You’re just going to take a little longer to get to the finish line. And I know it hurts that you won’t be with your friends, but I’ll bet you’ll make new friends in the incoming class. You’ll also be much more familiar with the material, so it should come easier to you next year. Remember, there’s a reason you got into this programme, and you deserve to be there. I’m rooting for you!! ❤️

Guess what they call the person who had to repeat the first year of medical school but still finishes. DOCTOR. You can do this. It is a big change, you know what to expect this time. They would not have let you in if you were not smart enough to pass. Regroup, form a study group, ask for help if you need it. They want you to succeed. One year doesn’t make you old. I can’t wait until you come back to tell us how well you are doing.

PS, I am not a Dr, but my husband is and I was married to him all through those tough times and he was a veteran so a non-traditional student.

Hey- I flunked my first year of med school too! Repeated the first year and graduated with my “new” class. Still had friends from my original first year. Went on and had a successful academic/clinical career as a pediatrician. Now retired! It was embarrassing but I worked through it. No one remembers where you were in all the coming and going of med school.

I know it feels awful now but you will get through this, overcome and get where you need to go. A year will not make you so old, and you having the determination and drive to overcome will give you that extra bit to truly succeed. Even if you don't ultimately go this route, know that you have a lifetime of success and sometimes failures that will make you who you are. Take a good look at where you went astray and see what you can do to overcome. Ask for help and guidance if you can, and don't beat yourself up.

It sucks, I am giving you a big hug, and know that this too will pass. Hang in there. 💙

Had a couple friends that started medical school with me that did not finish the same time I did. Sometimes it’s a little difficult getting the swing of things right away. Sometimes life intervenes. Take a deep breath, think about what you learned from the situation. Keep going. I know you can do it.

Think of the hurdles you’ve already gone through successfully to get to medical school. That’s a major accomplishment in itself. Dust yourself off and get back up on that horse if they’re giving you another chance. Take advantage of all the help the school offers (tutoring, study groups, etc). This is a speed bump. Take a breath this holiday season and prepare for action. All the moms are cheering you on!

Oh my duckling. I feel for you. You are still smart and wonderful, you've just found something that does not come easy. And to be honest, medicine SHOULD NOT be a walk in the park. It is serious, life or death stuff and this experience could be a life-saving, life-changing invitation to greater success. You now know the bitter feeling of not living up to your goal so NOW you have a point of comparison. Take your second chance and RUN WITH IT. Just getting IN sets you apart. If it was easy, everyone would do it and it would cease to be an accomplishment. I'm so proud of you. Carry on. You got this. 💕Love, Mom

Sweetheart - you're going to be that old anyway, right? So you graduate a year later. It's more debt, and I'm sorry. But you'll be a doctor when it's all finished, even if it IS a year later. Med school is hard as hell. I don't know why you bombed the exam, but hopefully, with prep, you won't let that happen to you again. Either way, mourn your failure for a bit, and then buckle up and and start over. I have faith in you.

Duckie, I want you to know this does nothing to change how much we love you, or how proud we are of you. I’m sorry this happened, and I’m sorry you’re hurting. You’re going to get through this, I promise.

Aunt hugs coming your way.

Your worth is not tied to your achievements. You are deserving of love and care, whatever you do. Your mom will (should) love you whether you failed your exams and year, or not.

Talk to her. First get some grip together on the disappointment. It's ok to feel that. Second, start planning. What do you want to do next? See if, once you are calm and feel on top of it, you can find out what went wrong. You can also ask the people at medical school for written feedback on what they think was behind the failure. Then see if this is something you can make better.

It's so normal to have to repeat an academic year! It's perfectly fine. You'll be fine. It's gonna be ok.

My husband got his phd in clinical psychology and spent an absurd amount of time on his dissertation only to lose access to his data set before completing it so he had to start from scratch on en entirely new dissertation. It was a nightmare for both of us. That was 20 years ago and now he’s a successful psychologist at one of the top children’s hospitals in the US. This too shall pass. Keep trucking friend. You’ll get there.

Honey, you won't be so old, you'll only be one year older than planned. You'll be OK. Take a deep breath, look back at what caused you to fail and make a list of changes you need to make for your next attempt.

Well done working through this first year. <3

I flunked my first year applied Physics and had to redo. I was able to recover, attain the degree, utilize the new knowledge that I can come back from anything...my parents were disappointed and blamed "boys" but the reality was that I had never done physics before, the lecturer was not able to bring the lessons down to a layman level and when I started in the new year over 50% of class was back and a complaint was upheld..

Your parents are going to be disappointed but NOT as much as you are now, take it as life learning and that you'll prove them wrong and succeed..just make sure this IS what you want not what they want...that would be a different conversation.

Hun, I'm 37 and I still remember the urgency to get through school as fast as possible. The truth is, I look back at school and realize I could have taken 4 extra years of school and still been in a similar place I am in today. What I am saying is that you have time!

Take the lessons from this experience to make plans for how you will do things differently next year. Do you need to join more study groups? Do you need to get help with studying or a tutor? Did you party a little too hard this year and can you cut back for next year?

If other things are going on like issues focusing, check in with your doctor about that. ADHD is harder to spot in some people.

Overall, you will be ok. Before you tell your mom write down how you will do things differently next year. Write out how you can improve to show to your mom.

Start your conversation with your mom in a vulnerable way... "Mom I need to tell you something but I'm scared."

Understand that she might be upset, but if she knows you are dedicated to improving for next year she will come around in time.

You got this! You were smart enough to get into Med school so it's just a matter of time before you graduate! Not all students pass each year without repeating and that's ok. Medicine is HARD! You can still go onto a career in medicine eventually. Take your time now while you are young, there's really no rush!

First of all, don’t worry about being old when you graduate. Many people start medical school at different times.

You need to figure out what you’re doing to study and what other people are doing to study and what’s not going right . Have you been failing the whole time or just this final exam?

One extra year in school for a 30 year career is not a big deal. It will be fine.

My advice for telling your actual mom is to try to figure out what went wrong and be able to articulate to her (and yourself) how to make next year better. If you really don’t know, ask for advice (if she’s a safe person to ask). While she (probably) hasn’t been to med school, I bet she has been disappointed and then done hard things.

Also, you might want to check into therapy for a bit to help reset.

Medical school is hard. You buckle down and go back. Tell your mom the truth.

First let’s celebrate the fact that you got into med school!!! No way could I ever be smart enough to even get in. Plenty of people don’t pass the first time, that means nothing final for you and it’s just a tiny stone in your path. Don’t worry you’ll side step that bad boy and you’ll be the best in your class next year. Your friends won’t forget you, they can help prepare you for next year with their nightmare stories and you’ll need more people. Trust me when you go into the full time work world you’ll end up having a best work friend who is like 70 yrs old, 50s, 40s and etc but you’ll be 20. Mom is absolutely still proud of you no matter what happens. I’m just happy my kids are trying for their dreams (I have 23yr,21yr,19yr & 17yr old kids for context)

That's so hard right now, but years from now when you're a doctor it will just be a tiny blip

Take a little time to figure out what went wrong - did you miss classes, not understand the assignments, mismanage your time/workload, etc - and come up with a plan for next year that addresses those shortcomings

Then when you tell your mom, you'll be able to say what happened and what you're going to do differently to avoid a repeat

I have 4 kids, and 3 of them had to repeat part or all of a year. It happens. Your mom will be sad for you, but not angry, and knowing you have a plan will make her feel better about it

You can do this!

First of all - take a deep breath. It is not the end of the world. Life is a journey - NOT a destination. The only person you are competing against is yourself.

When you can think clearly write down the areas in which you need to improve. Take the time between now and next year to see if you can get some extra help in those areas - you are going to knock it out of the park next time around because you have already been through it!!!

Fall down six times, get up seven!

This is still progress forward, honey, take heart in the fact that you CAN repeat the first year and you will still be a doctor someday. Everyone progresses in their own time, extra schooling may mean you will be a better doctor because your fundamentals will be on a bigger foundation. It is hard to not be bothered what other people think, but try to remember this is your own path and some people are just there for a short season.

Take heart, your mom loves you, and will always love you. Let her know you are disappointed, but you are not giving up. As a mom, the thing I want most for my kids in their future is resiliency -- hone that skill and you can overcome any obstacle that is in the way of your goal! The difference between great people who do amazing things, and those who don't, is they work to be resilient through the struggles and disappointments. They get back up and use the lesson they learned.

YOU CAN DO THIS!

Oh, Honey, I am so sorry that happened. But, in a few years, when everyone calls you "Dr FinancialAd", this will be but a blip in the journey.

School can be hard to settle into. Especially something as difficult as med school - how the professors grade, what is expected, how the tests work - that's not just 2nd nature. This is your chance to learn anything you missed this year, but with the bonus of knowing the system. Actually, I went to a top 10 school for undergrad and we joked that they never admitted their undergrads to their graduate schools because we knew the system and would all be fire. Now you can be fire.

As for your mom, I guess it depends on the relationship. With mine, I would say pretty much what you said here. I tried really, really hard, it wasn't quite enough, I'm very sad and worried. And then if I'd add, but I'm going to crush it next year.

I hope she's supportive and I hope you know how often this happens to people. You will still shine. You will still make a difference. You're still going to be an amazing doctor 🫶🏼

I started law school at 38 and now I’m an attorney. You are NOT going to be any version of old when you graduate. Your second first year will be so much easier than your first, and you’ll have a much better grasp of the foundational pieces in the end. If your friends are real friends you won’t lose them, and if you do, you’ll make more in your new cohort anyway. This feels huge now but in 10 years it won’t be huge at all. You can do it!!

I have been through this though fortunately got through at the last possible stage of resit exam. Lots of tears. My friend had to repeat the year and is now a very successful surgeon. 2 family members also had resits every year. It's really not the end of the world. It's also not representative of future performance. I was pretty mediocre rest of med school but did surprisingly well with postgraduate exams.

You need to sit down with your advisor of studies/ head of year/ Dean whoever is responsible at your university. When I did this we had to work out what went wrong. You're smart enough to get into medical school so it's not your intelligence. In my case up until that point exams had been easy and I had never had to properly study. And I went out partying too much. The following year I went to all my lectures, took good notes and revised them that day removing any irrelevant detail or things that would not come up in exams, making them more concise. When the time for exams drew nearer I could use these notes to prepare. I then did well. Still partied but not every single night and only after doing some studying.

Another possibility when a bright student fails exams is undiagnosed Dyslexia. My deanery identifies a lot of cases who were missed at school. You can find basic screening tools online.

Heyyy i failed my second year med school too. 🥹It was the first time I ever “failed” academically (as an achiever child 😅) I was just crying the whole time I called my parents. Just say it. I know it’s hard. But there’s no other way. I know it will make you feel small. There were times when my mom made comments about it, and it made me feel smaller. But you just gotta hug yourself tighter and know your worth. Sometimes, life just happens. You’ll get through it, I promise.

And don’t worry. You’ll find new friends in no time. Your previous batch would still be your friends too - and they’ll be rooting for you just the same. Take your time to process and grieve. Med school is hard as it is, don’t be hard on yourself too. We all have our own path and pace. Regroup and fight on. At the end of the line, you’ll still be called a Doctor. No shame in failing. Sending you lots of hugs. 🫂

As a momforaminute who works at a med school, you are not alone and it is not shameful. In the end, you will still be a medical doctor. Having friends in both classes is actually a good thing. Our med school encourages all years to interact with each other and bond. Perhaps you can even find a 3rd year to guide you a bit more. If you bombed due to anxiety, consider talking to professionals; there are some really low threshold things you can try out during the year (from specific thoughts to try out, to potentially a beta blocker as help). If you need accommodations, you go ask for them and use them; that is why they are there. Also, you are not old. Where I work, we have nurses and others who are coming in at 40-50 to get their MD degree. And nobody notices if you are say 24 or 28; there is truly not much difference at that age. You can do this; head up, and work hard, and this "repetition" will actually help you for STEP exams! The second time you can see how many tips the professors give for exams, for example. Also, use ALL the tools that the school offers, including secluded library rooms to study in, or tutors for specific topics. Use all of them to your advantage. As a professor, I truly wish I had those tools as a student, but as a student I would not have noticed them! See the positives of this experience, and use the system's tools and possibilities to your advantage.

failure is a part of the process. you cant go through life and not fail. you just gotta try again. you can become a doctor. i believe in you

im gonna assume you follow your friends on social media. with todays technology, its so much easier to keep connected with people. you still can keep your friends. they like you for you and i dont see why they wouldnt keep you in their lives

youre gonna be a single year older when you graduate. thats not old at all