My mom keeps harassing and showing up to my apartment uninvited and blowing up my phone. I am wanting to get a restraining order against her. Do I go to the police, the courts? How does that work here?
Next time she shows up call the police and have them issue a verbal warning to her to stop showing up and harassing you or you will press charges and have her arrested. That usually solves the problem. Only file for restraining order( thru Dade county court system) if 1st option doesn’t work….
You know they got body cams and shit.
One wrong thing during the cops and you go viral for just getting that shit online.
You just need to say 1 wrong sentence and YOU as the caller end up in handcuffs, TRUST ME I have seen it all happen when I lived in Miami & Miami Beach.
There you go now the entire family knows you are the bad person....better not be latin... You won't go away if you do this, if your friends and family are still alive they will turn against you. Where was the time family problems were solved internally without external police.
Narcissist behavior is nothing, it's still your mom.
100%, that other commenter is dead wrong for saying "its still your mom." Nothing buys anyone a ticket to abusing another person without consequence. Nothing.
Like I said in another post, both will end up badly.
Won't be good for you or your mom.
I know a person that did that to his dad.
He regrets it every day, not Miami but still every few years when he applies to change jobs or try getting another lease it dejavu's him when they do a background check.
The shit you can never remove, even worse than a fico credit check.
I'm sorry you're dealing with this, and I'm sorry some people are being so insensitive. My mom is nuts, too, and it just sucks. There's never an easy solution with people like her, so you have to think ahead on how you can make this as easy as possible for yourself. You're not alone in this, fwiw. That being said, it's absolutely OK to draw boundaries but I'd hesitate to get Miami PD specifically involved. as you are seeing in the comments- there is a prevalent type of culture here that still believes in the old school dynamics of putting up with this crap because ~tHeR'Y FamULHy~ and God forbid you get an "It's your MOTHER" cop, you know? I never had the most professional experiences with MPD, so idk, it just makes me think.
If I were in your shoes, I'd get a doorbell camera, make sure your complex/landlord/roommates know she is NOT allowed, refuse to answer the door for her, and block her number. When you can, quietly and discreetly, move and try to make sure there are no flying monkeys around to give her info you don't want her to have. In the meantime, you COULD ask about moving apartments depending on your complex size/management company/etc. they might let you pop over to a different unit if your safety is at risk (and perhaps the safety of the community - can you paint it as if keeping her out is best for EVERYONE?) If she's a big enough disturbance and you rent from a larger complex or your landlord is cool, they may be able to just issue a trespass warning for you - then you don't have to be the bad guy and she can't legally come back without getting arrested. Either way, in my experience, the best way to handle people like her is to just quietly exit, provide no info, because even the tiniest thing will be ammo.
r/raisedbynarcissists and r/raisedbyborderlines are both great resources and a safe space to talk about what's going on. Luckily, our 'club' seems to be somewhat small - but just know you're not the only person navigating this emotional minefield and you have a community here to back you up when you need us. <3
Where people take care of their family....
Guess they is not from the same generation nowadays.
But they love taking over what moms(or dads) leave behind
When she(or they) dies, or be like damn.. moms never loved me,but I take over possession of everything.
Life can be so diabolical, hating the one that gave you life loves you trying to be with you and you push her away.
Just wait till she dies, you wish every heartbeat she was there to answer all the unanswered questions you had.
Let it make sense right?, unless some evil shit was going on it's still MOMs.
Talk it out with her, because the moment you call the cops your name will be online in court restraining orders etc.
Good luck finding your next apartment. Be careful what you wish for her and yourself
Next time she shows up call the police and have them issue a verbal warning to her to stop showing up and harassing you or you will press charges and have her arrested. That usually solves the problem. Only file for restraining order( thru Dade county court system) if 1st option doesn’t work….
You know they got body cams and shit. One wrong thing during the cops and you go viral for just getting that shit online. You just need to say 1 wrong sentence and YOU as the caller end up in handcuffs, TRUST ME I have seen it all happen when I lived in Miami & Miami Beach.
There you go now the entire family knows you are the bad person....better not be latin... You won't go away if you do this, if your friends and family are still alive they will turn against you. Where was the time family problems were solved internally without external police.
Narcissist behavior is nothing, it's still your mom.
Just because she is my mom, does not mean she is free from consequences.
Good on you because you need to keep putting yourself first. Call the cops and go from there.
100%, that other commenter is dead wrong for saying "its still your mom." Nothing buys anyone a ticket to abusing another person without consequence. Nothing.
Keeping sticking up for yourself. You got this.
Like I said in another post, both will end up badly. Won't be good for you or your mom.
I know a person that did that to his dad. He regrets it every day, not Miami but still every few years when he applies to change jobs or try getting another lease it dejavu's him when they do a background check.
The shit you can never remove, even worse than a fico credit check.
Just deal with it privately with a family mediator. It will get messy. Trust me.
Seeing a Hispanic session in my mind with that chancla flying to the room at the mediator🤣
Lmao
It will get expensive as well.
I'm sorry you're dealing with this, and I'm sorry some people are being so insensitive. My mom is nuts, too, and it just sucks. There's never an easy solution with people like her, so you have to think ahead on how you can make this as easy as possible for yourself. You're not alone in this, fwiw. That being said, it's absolutely OK to draw boundaries but I'd hesitate to get Miami PD specifically involved. as you are seeing in the comments- there is a prevalent type of culture here that still believes in the old school dynamics of putting up with this crap because ~tHeR'Y FamULHy~ and God forbid you get an "It's your MOTHER" cop, you know? I never had the most professional experiences with MPD, so idk, it just makes me think.
If I were in your shoes, I'd get a doorbell camera, make sure your complex/landlord/roommates know she is NOT allowed, refuse to answer the door for her, and block her number. When you can, quietly and discreetly, move and try to make sure there are no flying monkeys around to give her info you don't want her to have. In the meantime, you COULD ask about moving apartments depending on your complex size/management company/etc. they might let you pop over to a different unit if your safety is at risk (and perhaps the safety of the community - can you paint it as if keeping her out is best for EVERYONE?) If she's a big enough disturbance and you rent from a larger complex or your landlord is cool, they may be able to just issue a trespass warning for you - then you don't have to be the bad guy and she can't legally come back without getting arrested. Either way, in my experience, the best way to handle people like her is to just quietly exit, provide no info, because even the tiniest thing will be ammo.
r/raisedbynarcissists and r/raisedbyborderlines are both great resources and a safe space to talk about what's going on. Luckily, our 'club' seems to be somewhat small - but just know you're not the only person navigating this emotional minefield and you have a community here to back you up when you need us. <3
they wont do nothing for blowing up phone
call the cops when she comes to apartment uninvited
Here's the info you need:
https://www.miamidadeclerk.gov/clerk/restraining-orders.page
This is some gringo shit for sure 😂 back in real countries we hash it out with family like normal humans
Normal humans don't engage in narcissistic abuse.
Where people take care of their family.... Guess they is not from the same generation nowadays.
But they love taking over what moms(or dads) leave behind When she(or they) dies, or be like damn.. moms never loved me,but I take over possession of everything.
Life can be so diabolical, hating the one that gave you life loves you trying to be with you and you push her away. Just wait till she dies, you wish every heartbeat she was there to answer all the unanswered questions you had.
Let it make sense right?, unless some evil shit was going on it's still MOMs.