"small-dick energy" was the reason I unsubed from r/murderedbywords.
That sub was full of "comebacks" where the other person just replied that the original poster had small dick energy. It got painfully unfunny to keep reading that so many people considered that peak humor and peak cleverness.
They also tend to make fun of women’s very normal bodies. I remember hearing comments about “roast beef” when I was in junior high. Where did those boys hear that from? Most likely grown men.
or “pepperoni nipples” as if, 1. they’re not areolas, and 2. areolas don’t come in all shapes, sizes, and colors. most women tend to have “larger” ones. and they get bigger after pregnancy!
That is not true. There are plenty of women using the "small dick energy" insult and women ridicule men for height ALL of the time. It sounds like you are trying to place most of the blame on one gender and make women the more moral gender. In reality people are individuals and several individuals of all genders are using this "small dick energy" insult and height shaming men.
Considering it's always men that are doing the majority of rapes and sexist crimes, to the point that women have had to start their own movement just for the sole purpose of rejecting men collectively, I really don't have any sympathy for men that whinge about the "small dick energy" insult.
And as for the height shaming thing, of course it's men doing the height shaming, in a self-inflicted ego trip. Freaking r/shortguys exists, after all.
So women are the moral gender and therefore it is justifiable for women to start movements with the purpose of insulting and rejecting random men for immutable physical traits, or for just being men at all? Got it. Now your double standards are starting to make sense if this is the logic that you use.
I don't see why you don't understand someone's lack of sympathy/empathy for when a plus size radical feminist who insults men's bodies gets body shamed herself. It's the same thing as what you're saying about when men get body shamed, right?
You're just obviously selectively ignoring all instances where women are do anything questionable or morally objectionable. If you were a realistic person without all of that bias, you would realize just how common it is for women to height shame men.
I'm afraid I don't really care about random men's complaints about being rejected, when those same men are likely to allow such rejections cause them extreme unchecked bitterness and toxic masculinity, to the point that they join cults full of insanely hateful men who can't even handle a simple rejection, instead opting to blame their height and/or physical appearances for why they're constantly rejected. Such cults are full of men who regularly cheer for serial killers and are staunchly against women's rights.
As long as they keep blaming their height, instead of their shitty attitudes towards women, I shall have no sympathy for such men.
Considering it's always men that are doing the majority of rapes and sexist crimes, to the point that women have had to start their own movement just for the sole purpose of rejecting men collectively, I really don't have any sympathy for men that whinge about the "small dick energy" insult.
You implied that it was justified for women to reject men collectively and that no men should have the nerve to defend themselves against body shaming from women.
So you did not even have to bring up misogynistic incels when you agree with the sentiment that all types of men are a problem anyway.
I agree that we shouldn't make fun of men's heights or penis sizes too, but...
The only people I see obsessing over men's heights are... men.
Women are not a monolith and it's probable that the overlap between the groups who mock men's appearances and the ones calling for body positivity isn't that great.
Trust me, there are plenty of hypocrites out there actually. Many feminist modern women nowadays are not trying to eliminate gender inequality, but reverse it so that men can now be negatively impacted by it. In other words, they still champion body positivity for women while deeming it as completely acceptable to shame men for the size of their package or their height. These people think that men as a group have brought it upon themselves.
As a progressive "male", while the use of the word female is stupid. I have to say that we should collectively try not to use these small dick energy sayings and so on. There's lots of research regarding SPS and BDD about young men. Its an issue that more often then not is ignored and very normalized even within (or especially within) male-on-male groups
That’s true. I think the small dick energy thing mostly became a “you act like you’re compensating” shorthand, but I understand even if they’re referring to vibes it can still hurt innocent men who happen to have smaller penises. And there’s literally nothing wrong with having a smaller penis, some people even prefer a partner with a smaller penis.
Small dick energy has zero to do with actual dick size. It has to do with personality and men who act super toxic for no discernible reason, leading to the thought that they must be seriously insecure in their manhood.
Yeah, and it's predicated on an idea that presumes that there's logic to being ashamed of that.
I don't have a solution because trying to get someone to feel empathy or guilt requires you to have a touchstone that they understand for you to connect everything to, but I understand why it's frustrating for men to see body positivity supportive people that that also refer to body parts that they cannot change in a way that references the shame associated with them, since there's nothing wrong with being fat either but 'fat girl energy' would immediately disgust me to hear.
By disvaluing small dicks.
You maybe mean it as a personalized attack, but what you do is perpetuate the image that small penises are something bas or inferior. Its body shaming even if you don't mean it.
Alright, we'll I'm a woman explaining to you what is meant by small dick energy. Believe it or not. It has nothing to do with body shaming. I don't give a rats ass if a dude has a small dick. If a guy walks around acting like he's compensating for something and is the type to hinge his entire existence on his dick size, he has small dick energy.
Small dick energy is 1000% a personality trait. Some girls who are short give tall girl energy. Some who are tall give short girl energy. Some girls who have tiny tits give big tit energy and vice versa. But nobody gives energy like dudes with small dick energy. If you can't understand it, you are entirely too worried about the size of your dick
Ass a progressive man with a normal sized dick, I can assure you that the way that people use "small dick energy" will have a negative effect on the self perception in young men like similar comments had on me when I was younger.
You might not mean it (though I do thing you do mean it), but the way you use small dick energy as a negative trait just perpetuates the idea that small dicks are bad. Just as nobody would use fat girl energy today because it's body shaming, we should stop using small dick energy. It has a negative effect on young men. It perpetuates wrong body images.
Just say that a guy has small self esteem or that they are compensating. Why bring dick size into it? It's unnecessary.
I would totally use fat girl energy amongst my girl friends, and it's absolutely not an insult. Small dick energy is a term for a man who thinks having a small dick is the worst thing in the world and the only way to be a real man is to have a huge dick, so everything they do is intended to give the impression that they have a huge dick (which usually means acting like a a complete fucking douche nozzle). Most women know that it's not the size of the instrument, it's how you use it...so when we say small dick energy, in no way are we implying that small dicks are bad, it is a commentary on the importance the man puts on his dick size. And if me saying a man has small dick energy causes emotional trauma, too bad. The emotional trauma caused by men with SDE is boundless.
Most women know that it's not the size of the instrument, it's how you use it...
You cannot speak for most women because you are not most women. You are one woman. There are plenty of women out there who shame men for having small packages. Whenever you associate a physical trait with negative personality traits, you are implying that the physical trait is also negative, regardless of whether you meant to or not.
I'm torn between broadly agreeing with this in a vacuum and having absolutely no sympathy if some incel is being a shithead about women and a "progressive female" responds by saying he's short and has a small dick.
It's not a thing one should do, but I'm not losing any sleep over it.
...no? I have pretty much the exact same reaction; "That's a wrong and harmful habit and you shouldn't do that...but I'm not losing sleep over it because fuck her."
Do you have a habit of digging up week old posts to spin fantasies about the beliefs of people commenting on them based on literally absolutely nothing? Ironic given the title of this post.
If you feel the same way about the scenario I presented, then fair enough. I only asked because many people have a double standard for these two scenarios, probably including many people in this sub.
Maybe they just mock you specifically because you're a stupid dickhead who shows up to make blind accusations about what you baselessly assume they believe rather than it being a deeply held double standard 🤷♀️
I have not interacted with most of those people, so I doubt that they are even aware of my existence to mock me. Maybe you're just being too sensitive about the possibility that there are many people out here who have double standards when women are shamed based on physical traits vs when men are shamed based on physical traits. Because the reality is, I am not assuming anything. These people have stated what they believe, thus demonstrating that it IS a deeply held double standard in society.
If you don't mind me asking, do you have an abnormally small dick? Just curious, as I don't really see this crusade against body shaming in your comment history except for if it's specifically about dick size.
Like, is this personal for you, and that's why you're so uniquely emotional about just this one type of body shaming? Or is it some other reason?
Why are you asking? I thought that "small dick energy" wasn't about actual dick size. And clearly, you've ignored by comments about height. So you have not actually been reading what I have been saying. You're just spinning a story like you have accused me of doing earlier. So how can you think of yourself as being any better than me?
I hate the use of "females" here and don't trust this person's intentions, but I actually generally agree with the overall message. Small dick jokes and the like are body shaming and it bothers me how widely accepted they are
I wonder what the Venn diagram actually looks like when comparing “progressive females” who encourage body positivity and people using “small dick energy” comments and/or making fun of a guy’s height. - My personal experiences don’t have much/any overlap.
In my social circle I rarely hear the SDE phrase (and when I do, it’s generally mocking the phrase, or used to imply a guy is doing something to compensate for a lack of confidence or competence in a different area) and none of my friends or coworkers have mocked a man for being short.
I do know a lot of women who believe a beach body is any body you take to the beach. And I can think of unpleasant body shaming/objectification interactions directed at me or other women I’m with happening at least monthly.
Small dick energy is something that the youth say, hardly a significant cultural influence. Get back to the kitchen jokes were far more common when I was a teen. All of this mocking men's height thing is made up. Especially by finbro nutjobs who go on about 'the sexual marketplace' and a man's 'sexual market value' being higher if he's tall and wealthy. Women who do harp on about height are probably also finbros.
They even claim that dating apps stats prove it, but there are also dating app studies that show that men who most commonly get an actual date out of a Tinder match, say, are an average of 5'8. So, it probably really depends on which app it is and where in the world you are based.
Basing studies on self-selecting groups like dating apps is often suspect as well. There are reasons why people choose one app over another so it isn’t always a generalizable slice of the population.
Not all interactions on those sites are in good faith, either. There are people with fake profiles, people who try to solicit nudes, and scammers.
Yes, very true. You end up with imposter subjects in the study, like catfishers. People also claim they like one thing in their bio, then actually match and end up dating someone else – not because they were lying necessarily but there is some cognitive dissonance. Between the image people want to portray of themselves: I like dating X type of partner vs. reality of what they're happy settling for.
Besides the stupid "female" word use, this is true. Women still arent aware that they shouldn't body shame/ that what they are doing is body shaming. And when you call her out its "but hey they do it too they do it worse they do that" yeah, and its still bad for you to do.
Using female as a noun to refer to women is obviously cringe and dehumanizing, but that's not a made up person, there are really people out here doing and saying those things.
"small-dick energy" was the reason I unsubed from r/murderedbywords.
That sub was full of "comebacks" where the other person just replied that the original poster had small dick energy. It got painfully unfunny to keep reading that so many people considered that peak humor and peak cleverness.
I dunno, the people who like to use "small dick energy" and make fun of people's heights tend to be the men who claim everybody else does it to them.
They also tend to make fun of women’s very normal bodies. I remember hearing comments about “roast beef” when I was in junior high. Where did those boys hear that from? Most likely grown men.
or “pepperoni nipples” as if, 1. they’re not areolas, and 2. areolas don’t come in all shapes, sizes, and colors. most women tend to have “larger” ones. and they get bigger after pregnancy!
Wait. Non-native English speaker. Is that an offensive way to call them? I've only heard people use that term in neutral or even positive contexts
That is not true. There are plenty of women using the "small dick energy" insult and women ridicule men for height ALL of the time. It sounds like you are trying to place most of the blame on one gender and make women the more moral gender. In reality people are individuals and several individuals of all genders are using this "small dick energy" insult and height shaming men.
Considering it's always men that are doing the majority of rapes and sexist crimes, to the point that women have had to start their own movement just for the sole purpose of rejecting men collectively, I really don't have any sympathy for men that whinge about the "small dick energy" insult.
And as for the height shaming thing, of course it's men doing the height shaming, in a self-inflicted ego trip. Freaking r/shortguys exists, after all.
So women are the moral gender and therefore it is justifiable for women to start movements with the purpose of insulting and rejecting random men for immutable physical traits, or for just being men at all? Got it. Now your double standards are starting to make sense if this is the logic that you use.
I don't see why you don't understand someone's lack of sympathy/empathy for when a plus size radical feminist who insults men's bodies gets body shamed herself. It's the same thing as what you're saying about when men get body shamed, right?
You're just obviously selectively ignoring all instances where women are do anything questionable or morally objectionable. If you were a realistic person without all of that bias, you would realize just how common it is for women to height shame men.
I'm afraid I don't really care about random men's complaints about being rejected, when those same men are likely to allow such rejections cause them extreme unchecked bitterness and toxic masculinity, to the point that they join cults full of insanely hateful men who can't even handle a simple rejection, instead opting to blame their height and/or physical appearances for why they're constantly rejected. Such cults are full of men who regularly cheer for serial killers and are staunchly against women's rights.
As long as they keep blaming their height, instead of their shitty attitudes towards women, I shall have no sympathy for such men.
You implied that it was justified for women to reject men collectively and that no men should have the nerve to defend themselves against body shaming from women.
So you did not even have to bring up misogynistic incels when you agree with the sentiment that all types of men are a problem anyway.
I agree that we shouldn't make fun of men's heights or penis sizes too, but...
The only people I see obsessing over men's heights are... men.
Women are not a monolith and it's probable that the overlap between the groups who mock men's appearances and the ones calling for body positivity isn't that great.
I see a mix. Its mostly men speaking for women's desires, but women do it as well and we shouldn't forget that.
I've only ever seen women care.
Trust me, there are plenty of hypocrites out there actually. Many feminist modern women nowadays are not trying to eliminate gender inequality, but reverse it so that men can now be negatively impacted by it. In other words, they still champion body positivity for women while deeming it as completely acceptable to shame men for the size of their package or their height. These people think that men as a group have brought it upon themselves.
Yeah this is 100% wrong.
As a progressive "male", while the use of the word female is stupid. I have to say that we should collectively try not to use these small dick energy sayings and so on. There's lots of research regarding SPS and BDD about young men. Its an issue that more often then not is ignored and very normalized even within (or especially within) male-on-male groups
That’s true. I think the small dick energy thing mostly became a “you act like you’re compensating” shorthand, but I understand even if they’re referring to vibes it can still hurt innocent men who happen to have smaller penises. And there’s literally nothing wrong with having a smaller penis, some people even prefer a partner with a smaller penis.
Small dick energy has zero to do with actual dick size. It has to do with personality and men who act super toxic for no discernible reason, leading to the thought that they must be seriously insecure in their manhood.
Yeah, and it's predicated on an idea that presumes that there's logic to being ashamed of that.
I don't have a solution because trying to get someone to feel empathy or guilt requires you to have a touchstone that they understand for you to connect everything to, but I understand why it's frustrating for men to see body positivity supportive people that that also refer to body parts that they cannot change in a way that references the shame associated with them, since there's nothing wrong with being fat either but 'fat girl energy' would immediately disgust me to hear.
How convenient. I guess body shaming is ok if you don't really mean it.
?? It's not body shaming. It's personality/character shaming
By disvaluing small dicks. You maybe mean it as a personalized attack, but what you do is perpetuate the image that small penises are something bas or inferior. Its body shaming even if you don't mean it.
So you'd have no problem with people using phrases like "flabby pussy energy" or "small titty energy" in the same vein?
Not at all
Well you should because that's body shaming, too.
But it's not
Your lack of honest reflection on this is jarring.
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Alright, we'll I'm a woman explaining to you what is meant by small dick energy. Believe it or not. It has nothing to do with body shaming. I don't give a rats ass if a dude has a small dick. If a guy walks around acting like he's compensating for something and is the type to hinge his entire existence on his dick size, he has small dick energy.
[removed]
Small dick energy is 1000% a personality trait. Some girls who are short give tall girl energy. Some who are tall give short girl energy. Some girls who have tiny tits give big tit energy and vice versa. But nobody gives energy like dudes with small dick energy. If you can't understand it, you are entirely too worried about the size of your dick
Ass a progressive man with a normal sized dick, I can assure you that the way that people use "small dick energy" will have a negative effect on the self perception in young men like similar comments had on me when I was younger.
You might not mean it (though I do thing you do mean it), but the way you use small dick energy as a negative trait just perpetuates the idea that small dicks are bad. Just as nobody would use fat girl energy today because it's body shaming, we should stop using small dick energy. It has a negative effect on young men. It perpetuates wrong body images.
Just say that a guy has small self esteem or that they are compensating. Why bring dick size into it? It's unnecessary.
I would totally use fat girl energy amongst my girl friends, and it's absolutely not an insult. Small dick energy is a term for a man who thinks having a small dick is the worst thing in the world and the only way to be a real man is to have a huge dick, so everything they do is intended to give the impression that they have a huge dick (which usually means acting like a a complete fucking douche nozzle). Most women know that it's not the size of the instrument, it's how you use it...so when we say small dick energy, in no way are we implying that small dicks are bad, it is a commentary on the importance the man puts on his dick size. And if me saying a man has small dick energy causes emotional trauma, too bad. The emotional trauma caused by men with SDE is boundless.
You cannot speak for most women because you are not most women. You are one woman. There are plenty of women out there who shame men for having small packages. Whenever you associate a physical trait with negative personality traits, you are implying that the physical trait is also negative, regardless of whether you meant to or not.
Sounds quite un empathetic to me to be honest. You don't seem to care how your speech effects other people yet cry when men say "females" ?
It’ll stop being used when males stop comparing women bodies to animals, food, cars, shoes and other objects
Fight misogyny with misandry.
Its not only these man that do the things you list that effect it, when you continue saying this, you are aware of that?
It also effects the man and young boys mostly, that are not dumb fucks.
Look bro, some people just have small dick energy ok, I'm a man I ain't gon soften everything up to sound progressive
It's not about progressives it's about empathy.
Some people just do have small dick energy ok
That makes no sense if their dick is not small, but okay. That's like saying a tall guy has "short guy energy". It's pretty damn dumb.
Though to be fair I think I'd only ever say it on the internet or in some weird contexts with other young men I guess or whatever
I'm torn between broadly agreeing with this in a vacuum and having absolutely no sympathy if some incel is being a shithead about women and a "progressive female" responds by saying he's short and has a small dick.
It's not a thing one should do, but I'm not losing any sleep over it.
But you're losing sleep when someone fat shames a misandrist and transphobic radical feminist woman?
...no? I have pretty much the exact same reaction; "That's a wrong and harmful habit and you shouldn't do that...but I'm not losing sleep over it because fuck her."
Do you have a habit of digging up week old posts to spin fantasies about the beliefs of people commenting on them based on literally absolutely nothing? Ironic given the title of this post.
If you feel the same way about the scenario I presented, then fair enough. I only asked because many people have a double standard for these two scenarios, probably including many people in this sub.
Maybe they just mock you specifically because you're a stupid dickhead who shows up to make blind accusations about what you baselessly assume they believe rather than it being a deeply held double standard 🤷♀️
I have not interacted with most of those people, so I doubt that they are even aware of my existence to mock me. Maybe you're just being too sensitive about the possibility that there are many people out here who have double standards when women are shamed based on physical traits vs when men are shamed based on physical traits. Because the reality is, I am not assuming anything. These people have stated what they believe, thus demonstrating that it IS a deeply held double standard in society.
If you don't mind me asking, do you have an abnormally small dick? Just curious, as I don't really see this crusade against body shaming in your comment history except for if it's specifically about dick size.
Like, is this personal for you, and that's why you're so uniquely emotional about just this one type of body shaming? Or is it some other reason?
Why are you asking? I thought that "small dick energy" wasn't about actual dick size. And clearly, you've ignored by comments about height. So you have not actually been reading what I have been saying. You're just spinning a story like you have accused me of doing earlier. So how can you think of yourself as being any better than me?
What do you mean why am I asking? I explained in exhaustive detail why I'm asking in the comment where I asked, did you not read the whole thing?
It's shockingly easy.
I have never really heard a women who used small dick enegry i have seen tons of men use it though
Plenty of women say that.
Greta Thunberg famously did it. And I'ver heard many women use it too.
I've literally never seen a man use it, only women.
They have a point.
As a woman, I don’t think we should be making fun of these things either.
hhhhhhh
I hate the use of "females" here and don't trust this person's intentions, but I actually generally agree with the overall message. Small dick jokes and the like are body shaming and it bothers me how widely accepted they are
I wonder what the Venn diagram actually looks like when comparing “progressive females” who encourage body positivity and people using “small dick energy” comments and/or making fun of a guy’s height. - My personal experiences don’t have much/any overlap.
In my social circle I rarely hear the SDE phrase (and when I do, it’s generally mocking the phrase, or used to imply a guy is doing something to compensate for a lack of confidence or competence in a different area) and none of my friends or coworkers have mocked a man for being short.
I do know a lot of women who believe a beach body is any body you take to the beach. And I can think of unpleasant body shaming/objectification interactions directed at me or other women I’m with happening at least monthly.
Small dick energy is something that the youth say, hardly a significant cultural influence. Get back to the kitchen jokes were far more common when I was a teen. All of this mocking men's height thing is made up. Especially by finbro nutjobs who go on about 'the sexual marketplace' and a man's 'sexual market value' being higher if he's tall and wealthy. Women who do harp on about height are probably also finbros.
They even claim that dating apps stats prove it, but there are also dating app studies that show that men who most commonly get an actual date out of a Tinder match, say, are an average of 5'8. So, it probably really depends on which app it is and where in the world you are based.
Basing studies on self-selecting groups like dating apps is often suspect as well. There are reasons why people choose one app over another so it isn’t always a generalizable slice of the population.
Not all interactions on those sites are in good faith, either. There are people with fake profiles, people who try to solicit nudes, and scammers.
Yes, very true. You end up with imposter subjects in the study, like catfishers. People also claim they like one thing in their bio, then actually match and end up dating someone else – not because they were lying necessarily but there is some cognitive dissonance. Between the image people want to portray of themselves: I like dating X type of partner vs. reality of what they're happy settling for.
Haha I saw the original post the other day, immediately thought of this sub!
Omg, why are you telling on me??
Besides the stupid "female" word use, this is true. Women still arent aware that they shouldn't body shame/ that what they are doing is body shaming. And when you call her out its "but hey they do it too they do it worse they do that" yeah, and its still bad for you to do.
Using female as a noun to refer to women is obviously cringe and dehumanizing, but that's not a made up person, there are really people out here doing and saying those things.
“Small dick energy” isn’t really about the size of penis.
It’s about insecure energy.
But it is though, otherwise the "size of penis" would not be mentioned.
Then say that. Say "you give insecure energy" why bring male penis site into it, especially in a negative cronotation.