TIBALT LOVES TO HAVE FUN IN HIS OWN WAY, WHICH IS CAUSING PAIN AND MISFORTUNE TO THOSE AROUND HIM. HE CAN FEEL THIS PAIN AND EVEN SEEKS IT OUT, TO HEIGHTEN IT AND REVEL WITHIN IT. HE CARES NOT FOR OTHERS, BEING SELFISH AND SADISTIC TO AN ALMOST INHUMAN DEGREE.
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WELCOME TO THE WEEKLY TIBALT'S TIRADES!
THIS IS THE ***RAGE*** THREAD
CAPS ON = TIME TO SHINE
YOU'RE WELL ON YOUR WAY TO BEING A GREAT PLANESWALKER! STILL DOESN'T SHUT UP AFTER THE UPDATE
I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND THE FINAL SEASON OF STRANGER THINGS. I'M NOT SAYING THAT I HATED IT, BUT IT CONFUSED THE FUCK OUT OF ME. I WATCHED DUSTIN'S EXPLANATION A FEW TIMES BUT JUST ENDED UP GETTING MORE FUCKING CONFUSED. OH, AND FUCK UB, BOTH BLUE/BLACK AND UNIVERSES BEYOND.
I HATE TO ADMIT IT OPENLY ONLINE, BUT I WAS NEVER FOND OF THIS SHOW. I TRIED BUT COULDN’T GET INTO IT AT ALL.
AT LEAST IT WAS BETTER THAN GAME OF THRONES ENDING. NOT SAYING MUCH.
I HATE WHEN MY DECK GOES ON A LOSING STREAK AND I SWITCH DECKS ONLY TO ENCOUNTER THE DECK I WAS PLAYING AND GET BEAT BY IT 😒
YES! I PLAYED 36 GAMES YESTERDAY. AFTER LOSING 4 IN A ROW I SWITCHED FROM MY AJANI/HELIOD LIFE GAIN TO A MUXUS. TWO GAMES LATER, boom, AJANI LIFE GAIN KICKED MY ARSE!!! 🤯
RULE 5: MAKE AS FEW INDIVIDUAL POSTS AS POSSIBLE
WTF EVER HAPPENED TO ENFORCING THIS? I THOUGHT I JUST DIDN'T CARE ABOUT AVATAR AND SPIDERMAN SPOILERS, BUT ALL THE SPOILER SPAM IS ANNOYING EVEN WHEN I'M EXCITED ABOUT THE SET BEING SPOILED. JUST MAKE IT ONE THREAD.
AND JUST ENFORCE THE DAMN RULES!
IF MAGICAL GATHERING IS A GOOD GAME WHY DOES NOBODY WHO PLAYS IT EVER HAVE A GOOD TIME
WE’RE ALMOST AS BAD AS LEAGUE PLAYERS
ARENA REWARDS AND INCENTIVIZES WINS SO IT MAKES PRETTY MUCH EVERYTHING ON ARENA INHERENTLY SWEATY.
THE SECRET IS TO NOLIFE UNTIL YOUR 15 DAILY WINS AND THEN NOTHING AFTER THAT MATTERS
WHY AM I ONLY PLAYING AGAINST CONTROL DECKS? IN THE PAST TWO WEEKS, OVER 75% OF MY MATCHES (YES, I COUNTED) HAVE BEEN AZORIOUS AND JESKAI CONTROL.
PLEASE, SOMEONE, SAVE ME!
SADLY MANY FORMATS POWER LEVEL HAS ADVANCED TO THE POINT WHERE YOU ARE GETTING RUN OVER TURN 3 IF YOU AREN'T ALSO RUNNING PEOPLE OVER. SO ESPECIALLY IN BO1 COUNTER/BOARD WIPE ALL THE THINGS BECOMES APPEALING. NOT GOING TO LIE AFTER 10TH LIFE GAIN/ BADGER RAMP/ MONO RED VOMIT STOMP IN A ROW I GET MAD TOO. NO MORE I'M GOING TO BOARD WIPE YOU TO DEAHT UNTIL I MILL YOU TO HELL WITH A CARD THAT'S ALSO A BOARDWIPE.
I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND BUT I JUST WANNA PLAY MY CARDS AND TURN THEM SIDEWAYS. A MAN CAN ONLY BE COUNTERED AND BOARD WIPED SO MANY TIMES
WHY THE FUCK IS MY TURN 10-15 DECK FACING CEDH TURN 3 SHIT.
WHY INSTEAD OF SWINGING WITH LETHAL DO PEOPLE LOVE TO CAST A BUNCH OF CARD COMBOS? LAST NIGHT I WAS PLAYING [[SKY KONRAD, THE GRIM]] AND HAD HIM ON THE BATTLEFIELD. THIS MORON HAD ABOUT 40 DAMAGE ABLE TO SWING IN 2/2s AGAINST MY 2 BLOCKERS. INSTEAD HE DECIDES TO PLAY A BUNCH OF BLUE CARDS THAT MAKE ME MILL. HE HAD 10 HP AND AFTER 2 SPELLS HE HAD ZERO BECAUSE I MILLED ABOUT 40 CARDS AT THE START OF HIS TURN.
SKY KONRAD, THE GRIM - (G) (SF) (txt)
FAQ
THEY'RE FUCKING LOSERS, THAT'S WHY.
CAN WE PLEASE FIX THE FUCKING MENU SO I SONT HAVE TO HAVE A CIRCLE JERK OF 5 DIFFERNT MENUS TO GET IN A GAME LIEK IT USED TO FUCKING BE!
I WATCHED THE JIM HENSON MUPPETS TRAILER TO PROMOTE LOROWYN ECLIPSE AND IT WAS FANTASTIC! A BEAUTIFUL CELEBRATION OF A BELOVED WORLD, MADE WITH LOVE AND CARE BY TALENTED ARTISTS WHO ARE THE TOP OF THEIR CRAFT! WOW, I THOUGHT, WHAT AN AMAZING START TO THE YEAR!
BUT INSTEAD OF REJOICING IN THIS AMAZING PIECE OF ART, THE COMMENTS WERE ALL PEOPLE WHINING ABOUT SPIDER-MAN, AND HOW THIS SET (WHICH WILL BE OUT IN A WEEK OR TWO) WAS BUMPED FOR A FEW MONTHS FOR IT.
WHAT A BUNCH OF WHINY LOSERS!
TANGENTIAL: I'VE HEARD THE JIM HENSON BIO IS A GOOD READ
TOO BAD STANDARD UNRANKED APPARENTLY HAS ONLY TWO TYPES OF DECKS BEING NETDECKED TO DEATH: BWG (BORING WHITE LIFEGAIN) AND BGL (BORING GREEN LANDFALL).
HEY MY ORZHOV LIFE GAIN AND GRUUL LANDFALL ARE COMPLETELY ORIGINAL FRFR
IF THERE ARE ONLY 2 DECKS YOU CAN SIMPLY GO HARD CONTROL AND BOARD WIPE BOTH
OVER AND OVER AND OVER
I'M RANTING ABOUT HAVING NOTHING TO RANT ABOUT. MASTERY PASS IS FINISHED WAY EARLIER THAN I EXPECTED SO I'M PLAYING ZERO STRESS GAMES UNTIL LORWYN AMPS UP THE BULLSHIT AGAIN.
BUT EARTHBENDING WORKING THROUGH BOTH DESTROY AND EXILE EFFECTS IS TOTAL INSANITY.
JUST PLAYED 7 OR 8 GAMES AND MOST OF THEM HAVE BEEN AGAINST THOSE PEOPLE WHO ROPE. IS THERE A WAY TO REPORT THESE PLAYERS!? ONE OF WHICH WAITING UNTIL THE LAST SECOND EVERY! SINGLE! TIME! AND THEY WERE PLAYING A GOBLIN DECK!!!
DOES ANYONE KNOW IF SOMEONE QUITS, BUT DOESN'T GO BACK TO THE MAIN SCREEN IT ACTS LIKE THEY'RE STILL THERE? I THINK THAT WAS THE ISSUE AT SOME POINT - THEY WOULD QUIT, IT WOULD SHOW YOU THE SCREEN SAYING YOU LOST, AND THEY WOULD WALK AWAY OR TAB OUT TO DO SOMETHING ELSE AND IT WOULD MAKE THEM STILL BE IN THE GAME UNLESS THEY CLOSED IT AND WENT BACK TO THE MAIN SCREEN/HOME PAGE.
ANYWAYS, I HATE IT. LEARN YOU DECKS, NOTHING YOU DRAW SHOULD BE A SURPRISE. I KNOW WHAT I'M GOING TO DO WITH EVERY SINGLE CARD I DRAW
THREE MORE SINCE I'VE MADE THIS COMMENT. SO I'M GOING TO GIVE THEM THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT AND SAY THE GAME IS JUST MESSED UP RIGHT NOW. NEVER BEFORE HAVE I HAD THIS MANY OF THEM IN A ROW. I DON'T THINK IT'S AN INTERNET ISSUE ON MY END SINCE EVERYTHING ELSE IS WORKING JUST FINE.
IF YOU MEET ONE ROPER, YOU MET AN ASSHOLE. IF YOU MEET ROPERS ALL DAY, WOTC ARE THE ASSHOLES.
ALSO IF YOU DON'T MEET ANY ROPERS WOTC ARE ASSHOLES, BUT UNRELATEDLY.
IT STOPPED HAPPENING, SO MUST HAVE JUST BEEN A SERVER ISSUE
QUEUE UP WITH A BRAWL DECK I FIND FUN, GET PUT AGAINST SOME BRAINDEAD WUBRG DECK (LIKELY ESIKA SUPERFRIENDS, ALL I SAW OUT OF THEM WAS RAMP AND CONTROL CARDS), DON'T WANT TO PLAY BRAWL AGAIN. STORY OF MY LIFE
I WON DUE TO A CLUTCH [[NETHERGOYF]] AFTER THEY FAREWELL'D, BUT I DID NOT HAVE FUN THAT GAME. THE MOST FUN PART WAS BEATING THEM BEFORE THEY COULD GET THAT STUPID BRIDGE TO DO ANYTHING.
NETHERGOYF - (G) (SF) (txt)
FAQ
I ONLY FACE HEI BAI, HEI BAI ALL DAY, OH LOOK FREE SPELLS
CAN I GET A GOD DAMNED OPPONENT WHO DIDN'T CRAFT THE GODDAMN NUTS HULLBREACHER INTO WHEELS OR TIME WALK RECURSION OR CAN I FOR ONCE IN MY GODDAMN LIFE DRAFT SOME GODDAMN POWER FOR ONCE?
I LOVE THAT I CAN'T DRAW MORE THAN TWO LANDS A GAME
I ALSO LOVE THAT MY SINGLE COPY OF ELESH NORN (7 CMC) IS IN MY OPENER A GOOD 90% OF THE TIME
AND FINALLY, I LOVE THAT THE GAME IS HAVING A GOOD LAUGH AT ME WHEN MY FIRST AND SECOND DRAWS ARE LEYLINES THAT JUST COOOOOOOOULDN'T HAVE BEEN IN MY OPENER, NO NO NOOOOOOOOOO
FUCKING ASSHOLE GAME
AND HOW COULD I FORGET THE CLASSIC "I MULLIGANED TO THE SAME FUCKING HAND BUT ONE LESS CARD"
EAT SHIT, ARENA
TWO MORE OPENERS IN A ROW WITH 7 COST NORN 🙃
THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I'M SKIPPING THE BATTLEPASS. THE POWER LEVEL OF STANDARD AND CONSTANT RELEASE OF NEW SETS WAS TAKING ITS TOLL. MAKING THE PASS MORE EXPENSIVE FOR LESS STUFF WAS THE LAST STRAW. FREE TO PLAY ONLY FOR ME NOW. I REFUSE TO PAY MORE FOR LESS.
HEI BAI OH LOOK IT'S FUCKING GOLOS ALL OVER AGAIN.
"WE LEARNED OUR LESSON ABOUT COMMANDERS THAT MAKE THEIR NEXT CAST EASIER"
SPOILER: THEY DIDN'T LEARN THEIR LESSON
WHO HURT YOU SO BADLY THAT YOU MUST PLAY THAT DECK?
DO YOU PLAY MAGIC BECAUSE YOU FEEL SO DISEMPOWERED IN THE REST OF YOUR LIFE?
IT'S HEALTHY TO HAVE MULTIPLE HOBBIES. MTG IS NOT YOUR PERSONALITY. BUT CURRENTLY, BEING A BANNANA IS.
DIPS INTO THE PLAY QUEUE WITH A JANKY PILE TO KNOCK OUT SOME DAILY QUESTS WITHOUT HAVING TO SWEAT IT OUT ON THE LADDER
ENCOUNTERS NOTHING BUT BRAINLESS AUTOPILOT GOLDFISHY META BULLSHIT
STAY CLASSY, FUCKWADS
I'LL NEVER UNDERSTAND HOW SOMEONE WHO COPY PASTED THEIR DECK AND HAS MADE NO CHANGES TO IT CAN GLOAT AND TAUNT THEIR OPPONENT WHEN IT DOES WHAT IT'S SUPPOSED TO DO, LIKE THEY FUCKING DID SOMETHING OF VALUE.
CHILDREN
SOMEONE EXPLAIN WHY I, RANKED PLATINUM TIER 3 IN LIMITED, AM GETTING MATCHED AGAINST A TOP 400 MYTHIC PLAYER WHO DRAFTED A 5-COLOR PILE OF EVERY BOMB RARE IN THE FORMAT, WHO PROCEEDS TO KICK MY ASS.
I WANT MORE UNIQUE ART STYLES IN NORMAL CARDS. WHY CANT THE FUN AND UNIQUE "PAPER CRAFT" ART STYLE BE ACROSS MORE CARDS?! WHY SECLUDE IT TO ONLY SPECIAL GUESTS THAT YOU MAYBE GET ONE IN AN ENTIRE BOX OF BOOSTER PACKS. I WANT COOL ART ON ALL MY CARDS!!!
0% WIN RATE GOING SECOND.
100% GOING FIRST ALL DAY TODAY.
LOL HOW IS THAT BALANCED.
OVER 7 DECK TYPES FROM AGGRO TO NO FUN CONTROL TOO.
FOR THOSE SERIOUS IT HAS BEEN 30 GAMES SO FAR.
WHY DO NONE OF THE LORWYN CARDS MAKE ANY SENSE? JUST WHEN I THOUGHT I FIGURED OUT THE LAST AIRBENDER, I HAVE TO LEARN ALL NEW MECHANICS!!!
WHY CAN I NEVER FIND THE FULL SIZE XAPK FILE FOR MTGA WHEN A NEW UPDATE COMES OUT? MY DEVICE IS UNSUPPORTED SO I NEED TO DOWNLOAD APKS. BUT FOR THE NEWEST UPDATE, THEY ONLY HAVE THE APK WHICH DOESN'T INCLUDE THE OBB FILE. 😡😡
AH, FREAKING MAGIC HEY. OPPONENT GOES FIRST. ELDRAZI IN UNRANKED - THOUGH A COLORLESS, NEWBIE BUILD - AND OF COURSE DESPITE RUNNING 4X [[CONSIGN TO MEMORY]] BECAUSE OF THE PLAGUE THEY ARE, I DON'T DRAW ANY, NOR ANY OF MY OTHER SPELL INTERACTION, AND I HAVE TO LET THEIR [[PLANETARIUM OF WAN SHI TONG]] RESOLVE. THEY HAVE 1 MANA LEFT TO SCRY. I HAVE [[ORIM'S CHANT]] IN HAND. IF THEY LEAVE ANYTHING ON TOP, YOU CAN BET YOUR ASS I'M CASTING CHANT IN RESPONSE SO THEY CAN'T FREE CAST IT. "TOP 0, BOTTOM 2". OH, OK - WELL, I'M NOT GOING TO BLOW MY 1-USE CHANT ON WHAT COULD BE ANYTHING IN THEIR DECK.
[[ULAMOG THE CEASELESS HUNGER]]
BECAUSE OF COUUUUUURSE IT IS. OPPONENT FIRING BLINDLY IN THE DARK AND HITS ONE OF THE ONLY MEANINGFUL RANDOM CARDS.
I MEAN, IT'S MORE FUN LOSING TO THAT THAN BAD PLAYERS LEANING ON TIER 1 VERSIONS OF IT BECAUSE THEY DON'T KNOW HOW TO WIN WITH ANYTHING BUT AN IMBALANCED DECK IN UNRANKED - BUT HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO PLAY AROUND SHEER DUMB LUCK! 🙃
All cards
CONSIGN TO MEMORY - (G) (SF) (txt)
PLANETARIUM OF WAN SHI TONG - (G) (SF) (txt)
ORIM'S CHANT - (G) (SF) (txt)
ULAMOG THE CEASELESS HUNGER - (G) (SF) (txt)
FAQ
I CAN'T COMPLETE THE KILL 25 CREATURES MISSION IF EVERY OPPONENT EITHER HAS 0 CREATURES OR ALL THEIR CREATURES ARE INDESTRUCTIBLE!
CAN YOU KILL YOUR OWN?
I DIDN'T THINK SO, BUT NOW I'M WONDERING. I COMPLETED THE QUEST AFTER 10 WINS AND LIKE 6 LOSSES. FINALLY I HAD SOMEONE PLAY A BUNCH OF ELVES I COULD STAB.
MAYBE I NEED TO MAKE A SELF-KILLING DECK FOR THESE CASES.
TRY OUT [[OBSESSIVE PURSUIT]] + [[TOLL OF WAR]] + [[UMBRAL COLLAR ZEALOT]].
[[SCAVENGER'S TALENT]] & [[TASHA'S SOUL CAULDRON]] CAN DO WORK TOO.
All cards
OBSESSIVE PURSUIT - (G) (SF) (txt)
TOLL OF WAR - (G) (SF) (txt)
UMBRAL COLLAR ZEALOT - (G) (SF) (txt)
SCAVENGER'S TALENT - (G) (SF) (txt)
TASHA'S SOUL CAULDRON - (G) (SF) (txt)
FAQ
PLAY AROUND BOARDWIPE BY NOT OVERCOMMITTING -> WHOOPS, NOT ENOUGH PRESSURE; NOW YOUR OPPONENT MAKES A GAME-WINNING MOVE YOU COULD HAVE AVOIDED IF YOU WERE MORE AGGRESSIVE, AND YOU'RE DEAD.
COMMIT MORE TO THE BOARD -> WHAT A SURPRISE: A BOARDWIPE. NOW YOU'RE ALL OUT OF GAS AND ARE DEAD.
WHAT IS THE SET THAT LOOKS LIKE 50’S COMIC BOOK COVERS? HAS THIS COOL GREEN CARD THAT LETS YOU PLAY A LAND WHEN YOUR OPPONENT DOES. WANTED TO SEE THE REST OF THE SET, BUT COULDN’T FIND THE SYMBOL ON THE SET LIST
SOUNDS LIKE THE EDGE OF ETERNITIES SPECIAL GUESTS
[[BURGEONING|SPG]] SOUNDS LIKE THE CARD YOU ARE REFERRING TO SPECIFICALLY.
BURGEONING - (G) (SF) (txt)
FAQ
I WANT TO PULL MORE CARDS, BUT I NEED TO WAIT AROUND A MONTH FOR LORWYN AND THE ALCHEMY LORWYN TO RELEASE FIRST.
IN ADDITION I CURRENTLY ALMOST RUN OUT OF RARE WILDCARDS TO BREW ANYTHING NEW TO PLAY...AAAGH WATING PERIOD IS A PAIN...I WANNA GACHA....