I'm in my early 30s. I have a wonderful partner and great friends. I am very thankful for this!
I don't really have any lgbtq friends (a few acquaintances who seem nice, but not a lot in common).
I've tried a few times to put myself out there and make some friends within the community but I find it hard to meet people I can form a genuine friendship with.
Does anyone else feel the same way? Does anyone else wish they had a group of friends with shared experiences growing up queer in Ireland?
I have lots of queer friends but none of them live around me. Sadly, the queer community where I am is very small with less than 10 people that are actively out and trying to socialise. Even less if you don't include the people that are school age. I don't align with them, so I can't connect as friends. I don't really connect with the straight people around either TBF, just the one close friend. All my other friends live elsewhere in the country or abroad.
Yep. Even worse when you come out late. It’s already hard to make new friends as an adult, but making friends from a community that you were not (officially) part of for most of your life is even harder.
I agree! But it’s not too late to find friends. I managed to find some great friends last year and have managed to continue the conversation with them and build a strong rapport.
It can definitely be hit or miss with people you meet online or IRL, but of those few there will be one good one!
Don’t hesitate to reach out if you want to chat as I know how you feel from experience 😇
I’m lucky really. I have crippling social anxiety and my partner would talk the hind legs off the lamb of God so I just let him off in any social situation and thru him we have some queer friends etc etc. Me on my own, my best friends are all straight moaning about mortgages kids and divorces so in that respect I don’t really feel a part of it. But if I’m honest I see being gay as only a part of me anyways.
This is very much me too
Yes. I have no queer friends and live in an area where queer spaces don't exist. I always roll my eyes when people complain about Dublin's community being too small. I also am on the asexual spectrum and feel left out because I'm not really THAT queer.
I only began feeling comfortable with my sexuality at 26. I'm 33 now. The COVID pandemic affected me badly because of my home environment, unresolved complex trauma and other factors. I've never felt physically or mentally well after the first time getting the virus.
When it passed, I became very hypersexual and was obsessed with dating apps. I was sexting a lot which is something I would never consider doing before. My behaviour changed for the worst. (Caused by a combination of unsuitable medication which triggered a manic bi-polar episode, and my OCD being out of control).
I had a few in-person experiences within the past two years. I feel awful now as they weren't meaningful and I feel was just a period of expressing regressed feelings. Regarding STI's, I'm all clear thankfully as I get checked regularly and I've only had one actual experience of sex.
I have some aquaintances but no actual friends in the LGBTQ community, or in general.
It's been killing me for like the past 10-15 years and I'm only fucking 32. I tried to associate with the wider Trans community but every time I found myself pushed out and ignored. The cliquishness and just shallowness of it all really frustrated me. Then if you're outside Dublin there's practically nothing, hell here in Waterford there isn't even a gay bar or scene.
If you are a man or male presenting check out our group on www.dublinmensgroup.com
Just tried to join and it kept timing out
Try this
Check out Dublin Mens Group https://www.meetup.com/meetup-group-GJqrFPPn on Meetup
Oh there's a paywall/membership - yes it has a free trial but id rather not sign up for anything thanks.
It is free...
https://help.meetup.com/hc/en-us/articles/39232700471181-How-do-I-sign-up-for-a-Meetup-account
I did all that it still asked fot a card number to confirm, I already said no thanks to that
Jesus you are right. Fuckin hell. That's a surprise! I'm actually grateful for tipping us off on that
No worries id have joined otherwise will have to keeo an eye out on boards and stuff plus here I guess
I think there is work around..
If you sign up. Don't enter the credit card details and go to meetup homepage it means you don't have to pay. They are cheeky cúnts though
Just googled it now. I'm going to look into that as ive not heard it before. Thanks for flagging it.
Yeah, Meet-up is definitely free to join groups and events. Just certain things are now behind a paywall, like starting your own group.
Yes my whole life
There’s the gays and then there’s people who happen to be gay, often people who happen to be gay will not gel very much with “the gays” and it’ll be hard to find people who are lgbt u connect with bc they probably are at home or in different circles and not around the lgbt scene as it’s a whole different vibe nowadays, maybe try bumble or something
Same really, its kinda impossible to make gay friends in Limerick there is no scene and most lads are DL so makes it hard to connect. Using Tinder and scruff don't help much and I avoid grinder cos of the ads and all the fake profiles.
Be nice if we had more national groups or something ill have to look into it more.
I think a lot of us do. Im eager to meet new friends. Which county are you living in currently? If it’s rural id move to belfast/cork/dub/galway