Late to the party, but I've been turning into girl-Jordan over the years. I tend to say "what?!", "fuck youuu", and "name five more things" a heartbeat before he does. It's weird, but what else can you say to this nonsense?
For all the flack that Jordan gets as a co-host to Dan, he really is quite good at this stuff. His blind reactions are usually pretty spot-on, and like you said, there isn't really that much more to say.
I listened to an older episode recently, and when someone denied climate change, Jordan immediately responded with "I hope you die in a forest fire" which got a good laugh out of me.
In a recent episode Dan pointed out that Alex has lost much of his former audience in part because most of them have probably died from COVID. This never really occurred to me before, but Alex's caters to an older audience and Alex's anti-vaccine stance was completely counter-productive to his own listener-base. This explains why sales are down, and as a consequence Alex now has to pivot to Nick.
The one thing that slightly tarnishes that clip for me is JorDan referring to the music as "a 90s sitcom theme" and not recognizing Chuck Mangione's Feels So Good. Peak "screaming fruitlessly at podcast hosts for not knowing something you know" every time I listen back.
One that has always stuck with me for whatever reason is
Jordan: “Do the feds put people in vats of acid?”
Dan: “Whether they do or not is irrelevant. This is a Human Resources issue.”
I think about it often and chuckle every time.
Mark Bankston: "What are your opinions of Robert Barnes?"
Brittany Paz: Sigh "Barnes..."
Side note: while double checking how to spell Brittany Paz, I found this. I wasn't aware she was partnered with Norm... Their website is pretty good for a laugh. https://www.pattispazlaw.com/
"Alex, before I get to my point that we are over done for an American Chernobyl, I want to call you out as a coward. you are a coward not to allow this one listener come on and express his opinion about the rapture. Bible Dan. He deserves to come on the show-"
"But Sir, you are Bible Dan."
"Deputy Tripp came back and said that my husband was going to be arrested on felony chicken charges. Felony? FELONY! Not misdemeanor!" I admit this may just be mine.
The moment where Jordan correctly deduced the troll messing with Kerry and said “Cowabunga?” mere seconds before it was said on the clip. God I lost it, it was so good.
They are describing Alex in some metaphorical way and Jordan says “Like a horse!” and I had to go outside for a minute at work because I was giggling too hard.
"Right, and now here comes the sex robots" still cracks me up every time.
Every time one of my coworkers talks about a kid or grandkid listening to Baby Shark my brain fills in the deet deet deet deet dedeet, mommy shark beep beep beep beep bebeep, DADDY SHARK BOMP BOMP BOMP BOMP BABOMP.
And like lots of us, "a little breakie" permanently changed my vocabulary.
they burn to the fucking ground eddie is pretty classic. probably one of the harder laughs i’ve gotten.
Episode 930. My absolute favorite.
1:03:50 for anyone wanting to dip in for a quick re-listen.
I never get tired of it.
Name 5 more things
Every time I hear someone list things, my brain says “name 5 more things”.
Same.
Late to the party, but I've been turning into girl-Jordan over the years. I tend to say "what?!", "fuck youuu", and "name five more things" a heartbeat before he does. It's weird, but what else can you say to this nonsense?
For all the flack that Jordan gets as a co-host to Dan, he really is quite good at this stuff. His blind reactions are usually pretty spot-on, and like you said, there isn't really that much more to say.
Say more words
I'm about to go Donkey Kong, King Kong crazy......in about 45 days.
i say this once every two weeks at minimum. my loved ones think im crazy. never been happier.
You're fighting for your life, I'm farting my life.
So good
I’ll be better tomorrow!
He's not.
I really wish Dan would use this tecnnocrat drop more. It’s so epic start to finish.
I. Know. How. To. Read.
Liiiiittle breaky for me
I keep saying “a little breaky” during meetings. It’s the slowest method for figuring out if I work with any wonks.
Bucketofpoop
Nothing will ever beat this and I will die on that poop hill
Flair checks out.
"Do you know what Alex Jones' middle name is?" "No." "Bet it starts with an E, huh?"
Jordan loses it
‘Cut his dick off’ from Jordan is pretty fucking great.
I listened to an older episode recently, and when someone denied climate change, Jordan immediately responded with "I hope you die in a forest fire" which got a good laugh out of me.
In a recent episode Dan pointed out that Alex has lost much of his former audience in part because most of them have probably died from COVID. This never really occurred to me before, but Alex's caters to an older audience and Alex's anti-vaccine stance was completely counter-productive to his own listener-base. This explains why sales are down, and as a consequence Alex now has to pivot to Nick.
One of my favorite more-subtle Jordan things is when he says "oh my god.." under his breath.
The best is when, as a listener, you find yourself say it at the same time.
I miss them.
“What question are you answering right now?”
“You were just talking.”
Neighbors.
Basically any from the Alex interviewing chat gpt episode - Dan's impressions of Alex, Jordan losing his mind "I am not alive. I AM. NOT."
🍎 Life's very fragile 🍎
Among my friends it has degenerated to "raspberry fraggle."
Put the beer back in the golf cart, Alex!
"you know famously the one time Jesus got pissed"
I don't remember exactly what it was referring too but I know it's about the money changers at the temple story.
Money-changing tables inside the temple burn to the fucking ground, Eddy.
Giving someone life is giving someone death. You can say that.......life is death.
Ya could!
I think about "a chicken experiencing homelessness" all the time.
Justice for Speckles!
Loser little titty baby
Some sodomite sent me a bucket of poop! It's all in the white papers, it's all declassified.
you can look it up.
"I'm gonna go donkey kong king kong crazy in about 45 days" irrevocably changed my vocabulary
“Just gonna take a little breaky now. A liiiiittle breaky for me. Then I’m gonna come back… and start the show over”
It's a demon feast, folks!
The one thing that slightly tarnishes that clip for me is JorDan referring to the music as "a 90s sitcom theme" and not recognizing Chuck Mangione's Feels So Good. Peak "screaming fruitlessly at podcast hosts for not knowing something you know" every time I listen back.
Speculation is the root of prophecy.
Chase Geiser
It's such a fancy way to say fake it til you make it
One that has always stuck with me for whatever reason is Jordan: “Do the feds put people in vats of acid?” Dan: “Whether they do or not is irrelevant. This is a Human Resources issue.” I think about it often and chuckle every time.
I use "go home and tell your mother you're brilliant" all the time.
https://preview.redd.it/qmjzw8jk8e8g1.jpeg?width=740&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a8c42996cbbc95b76aea15dc24ab802fe13ba2f7
We ain’t making that money off that heroin!
Why you pimp so good?
My-my neck is freakishly large
"ARE THEY GROCERY STORE BEANS?" "fuck you"
That was hilarious!
“AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!” -Jordan Holmes -Me
Mark Bankston: "What are your opinions of Robert Barnes?" Brittany Paz: Sigh "Barnes..."
Side note: while double checking how to spell Brittany Paz, I found this. I wasn't aware she was partnered with Norm... Their website is pretty good for a laugh. https://www.pattispazlaw.com/
https://preview.redd.it/sx3wj1kite8g1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=db0c8ee3ecf092e583eee023d2e12ba904c08762
😂 no such thing as bad publicity, I guess!
Daddy shark BOM BOM BOM
My wife an I often use "I gonna ____, then come back and start the show over"
"Alex, before I get to my point that we are over done for an American Chernobyl, I want to call you out as a coward. you are a coward not to allow this one listener come on and express his opinion about the rapture. Bible Dan. He deserves to come on the show-" "But Sir, you are Bible Dan."
How's Don De Grand Prix doing?
Got bad news. He’s dead!
Oh no!
"Deputy Tripp came back and said that my husband was going to be arrested on felony chicken charges. Felony? FELONY! Not misdemeanor!" I admit this may just be mine.
“You dumb fuck. Alien phones can get pregnant.”
—Dan to Jordan, derisively
“Researching in my mind”
“Cowabunga?”
The moment where Jordan correctly deduced the troll messing with Kerry and said “Cowabunga?” mere seconds before it was said on the clip. God I lost it, it was so good.
“Hi, Carrie”
What are we doing.
He’s a hand biter! ( can’t remember Alex’s exact words but hand biter made me laugh so hard)
They are describing Alex in some metaphorical way and Jordan says “Like a horse!” and I had to go outside for a minute at work because I was giggling too hard.
I actually find myself saying (in a deep a voice I can go) "Get'em" every so often.
Also "He's got a bleeding disorder!"
"Life's very frajul"
“They burn to the fucking ground, Eddy!”
"some places in Asia where you get off the plane and they karate chop you"
"Right, and now here comes the sex robots" still cracks me up every time.
Every time one of my coworkers talks about a kid or grandkid listening to Baby Shark my brain fills in the deet deet deet deet dedeet, mommy shark beep beep beep beep bebeep, DADDY SHARK BOMP BOMP BOMP BOMP BABOMP.
And like lots of us, "a little breakie" permanently changed my vocabulary.
"And just like that, Alex is alone in a dark room with Harrison Smith."
“I have the government documents where they said they're going to encourage homosexuality with chemicals... PENTAGON TESTED GAY BOMB ON IRAQ.”
“I come from sports!”
I think about that quote at least once a week