Does your MIL suck, but you don't feel like making an entire post about it? Is she a Bitch Eating Crackers and you just want to vent about the crumbs in your carpet for a moment? Post here!

This thread reoccurs on the 10th of each month.

  • Quick Rule Reminders:

    OP's needs come first, avoid dramamongering, respect the flair, and don't be an asshole. If your only advice is to jump straight to NC or divorce, your comment may be subject to removal at moderator discretion.

    Full Rules | Acronym Index | Flair Guide| Report PM Trolls

    Resources: In Crisis? | Tips for Protecting Yourself | Our Book List | Our Wiki

    Other posts from /u/botinlaw:

    This user has more than 10 posts in their history. To see the rest of their posts, click here

    To be notified as soon as botinlaw posts an update click here. | For help managing your subscriptions, click here.

    I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

    parent

  • My NC ILs keep showing up on my porch and just…waiting I guess. Once I was home and didn’t answer, the other two times we haven’t been home. They do it under the guise of leaving gifts. We have cameras that they just stare into the entire time. I’ve also caught them on camera doing drive bys - they have no reason to be in our neighborhood. 

    I honestly feel like a prisoner on my own home. We’ve asked them not to contact us. I don’t want to break NC to tell them to knock it off again. 

    I don’t know what else to do. 

    parent

    Just call the police and have them removed. Tell the police that they have been told not to contact you and now they are harassing you and it feels like stalking. After the first time the police turn up, I doubg they will dare do it again

    parent root

    You could consult with a lawyer about a cease & desist letter to start. I think (not a laywer) that camera evidence of drive bys and standing on your porch could be a basis for a harrassment complaint, as is the emotional toll of "feeling like a prisoner in your own home." The cease & desist creates a legal line they have to choose to walk over. It unequivocally declares that you are no contact without giving them a direct response and access. The lawyer can review legal options and what risks there are if they were to sue or countersue, and advise you on how to avoid making the complaint criminal (e.g. calling the cops if they tresspass) if you don't want to take it that far. It is a scary option because it feels so excessive but so is feeling like your home is being stalked by people you don't feel safe around.

    parent root

    I have a lawyer contact so I may ask them to send a letter, thanks. I’ve been debating that anyway because I suspect my FIL has been using our address. 

    parent root

  • My MIL left me out when she made shirts for my husband and kids. When my husband confronted her today, she said my size was sold out and I was going to get one when she made them for her and FIL. I don’t believe her and I feel hopeless and alone.

    I know it’s nothing compared to what others go through, but it just really crushed me and I’ve felt pretty tapped out since. I hate that she can get to me like that.

    parent

    Not one member of my family would wear them and I would burn them

    parent root

    They most definitely didn’t wear them. I almost took my husband’s to take a picture with my kids, but my husband just wanted to toss them and confront her. We went his route.

    parent root

  • MIL showed up to another family member's Christmas dinner we were attending, that she and her immediate family were specifically not invited to due to their behaviour towards me and my husband. The choice was made by the third party family member not to invite them, not by us. This gathering is however always held on Christmas eve at the same time every year at the same house.

    They arrived super late (3 hours), obviously scoped out to see if our car was there, came inside without knocking or warning, everyone looked at us shocked. MIL got up in my face (within a foot of my face) and demanded to know why I wasn't coming to their Christmas the next day. I said we were going to my family's. She said "Well, can't you just come to our's before then??" I said "I have no idea if that's possible, according to DH you don't even have a time set." MIL "Well just come over." Me "We already told you we weren't planning on coming." 

    Anyway, I just walked off and that was super awkward.

    They then mingle with the others and everyone is super awkward because they weren't supposed to be there, this is like 5 extra people at a party eating food and drinking drinks. Of course they brought nothing to share. 

    Husband later has a panic attack once we get home over it all and cries because he hasn't seen them in many months and has been no contact since his sister univited me from his birthday. She did this because he didn't want it in a public place in flu season because I'm immunocompromised and she wanted to go to a specific new pub that had opened up so she chucked a huge tantrum over it and then disinvited me from my own husbands birthday? Then cried when he told her that's not how that works, the birthday party just got cancelled, the MIL and FIL lectured DH about how he needed to apologise to her because she's faaaaaamily and so DH got fed up and went NC.

    So I had to comfort him while dealing with the fact her getting up in my face like that triggered my PTSD (I am in therapy for that). What a delightful night that was. It was genuinely lovely until they showed up to ruin it on purpose.

    I hate these people.

    parent