I’m due to have a baby anytime from now to 3 weeks. I cut contact with my sisters 3 years ago due to manipulation/gaslighting and we haven’t talked since. I’m not closed off to small interactions but this rubs me the wrong way. The reason why is because one sister puts on a show, does a checklist, and makes herself look like the “good person” but it’s so hollow. Even the card sounds like someone wrote it for their coworker or someone who is not a sister. I can see through it too because of the way she treated me for 20 years. My husband and I have been together for 8 years now and before going no contact with them, he had finally had enough because she would target him, say if I went to the bathroom, and say something what he called is “not loving or sister like” and she’d pretend like nothing happened. He spoke up for me for years and protected me and finally he had enough when I was very sick and she was trying to get him to say how I was all just mental. The other sister follows her lead and would say things like “you can call me anytime to talk, but let’s stick to the good stuff” when I had just went through an illness that took me out of work, I couldn’t drive, I couldn’t do my daily activities. It was really hard. So I had enough because I was there for them for anything and they expected me to be.

So now- my husband offered to send their husbands a text to say thank you so I don’t have to feel under pressure. He’s just the best. But I feel like this is such a shit move because ultimately it was a “nice gesture” so I feel back in the place I was 3 years ago like it’s such a freaking game.

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    parent

  • I would just donate it to goodwill and pretend I never got anything. I am also petty though.

    parent

    Absolutely this.

    parent root

    She’s playing games with you! Wanting to get in your head, apparently she doesn’t have anyone else to play with. So let games begin if you respond to her. Do not acknowledge her at all unless you want a repeat of 3yrs ago

    parent root

  • You can also send a generic thank you note “thank you for this thoughtful gift. I appreciate it.” The end. Don’t give her a bigger production than she deserves for subpar effort and rudeness.

    parent

  • You're no contact, so be a black hole. What gift? You never received a gift from a sister who doesn't exist!

    parent

  • Ask yourself if you and your husband want their energy back in your life; think about your child

    parent

  • Giving them any kind of a response is just feeding them. Donate the gift and let them sit in silence wondering if you ever got it.

    parent

  • Grateful for you all. My friends in real life say similar things too. I’m not going to send anything. I’m too tired to think about what to do about so I’m going to just pretend they didn’t send anything and move on to continue focusing on my new family. I can’t wait to have my own little family without this kind of drama.

    Thanks everyone 🫶🏼

    parent

  • I only have one sister but my mom and her are so close that i get the feeling my mom 100% likes her more especially because they treat me how it seems your sisters treat you so i can totally empathize. 

    You finally get to a good point but life events can bring "family" back in. i'm sorry you're dealing with this it sounds like your husband is a great buffer!!

    I distanced from my sister during my second pregnancy because of how she treated me during my first postpartum- she offered to "help" during my second postpartum and I said yes to allow her a "chance" my mistake because she hurt me bad again at christmas - my point being, these people do not change and it sounds like you already know that but im writing to reassure you they DO NOT change keep your distance like you are for your mental health especially when about to have a baby i wish you a safe delivery a healthy baby and a swift recovery ❤️

    parent