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We had something similar happen in our family. Where I was called one thing and the other family member was called another.

The other family member decided they liked my nickname from the kids better. (Because they are a jealous cow. But whatever.)

So now we just do nickname-first name. For example: Nana Jane and Nana Josie. Is it a pain in the ass? Yes. But the kids took to it too pretty quick because I was adamant I was not changing my nickname from the kids. And it was my nickname first.

I don't think this is anything you need to be worried about. Kid will call them what they call them. You are investing way too much thought into your parents' actions, which is exactly what they want. Just let it be. This absolutely does not require a response or a reaction on your part.

Let your child call them what ever name they are comfortable with. In our family since there are step grandparents too there are a couple of us who share grandma as a name. It’s not a big deal.

Who cares if grandma becomes Mimi to Aunt Sissy's kids? She's grandma to your little one already. Tell her grandma is what she shall remain to your little one. No debate. End of story. If she tries to refer to herself by the new name, correct her every time. After a few times of this, tell her your child is going to be calling her by her first name only if she doesn't knock it off. If she keeps it up, she won't be seeing little one as frequently. This is not a situation where grandma gets a do-over. She's stuck with the weight of her "bad decision" for life.

It's literally not confusing to a kid to have Grandma Betty and Grandma Sara. All my grandparents were Grandma and Grandpa. All my husband's grandparents were Grandma and Grandpa. All my kids grandparents are Grandma and Grandpa. I don't understand picking different names when Grandma and Grandpa are perfectly fine.

my kid already has family that we are much closer to that have your new chosen names and that it’s too confusing and hurtful to me and my kid

Well. You could tell them that, or you could just keep using the same grandparent names with your kid(s).

It's not that weird. I had grandparents and great uncles and great aunts who had different names with each set of grand-children or -nibblings, just because the names sort of naturally developed among the sibling peer groups.

Who cares? The same person can be Grandma and Nonna and (whatever).

The kids will be fine as long as the adults don’t make a big deal out of it because it really isn’t.

It’s cool to have a cool name for yourself but it also doesn’t matter one bit if you don’t. Lol

Don’t worry too much about it. Your child is going to call everyone exactly what the child wants

I don't want to minimize your frustration, because these seems to just be the latest thing they are doing to infuriate you, but your kid is not going to struggle with calling both grandparents by the same name. They don't actually need different ones. For most kids, their grandparents are simply grandma and grandpa on both sides and they manage just fine.

You can also just let your kid continue to call them whatever they're used to. They can tell your child themselves what they want to be called.

My cousins called our shared grandparents by different names than what we used, and it was no issue. Additionally, my father is “Dad” to my half-sister and “Papa” to my brother and I. It can be no big deal.

Similar situation - my parents went by German titles for my kids, then they got divorced and my dad didn't want to go by that anymore because he didn't want the connection to my mom (it didn't matter that me and the kids still had German heritage). So my siblings kids all call him something different from mine.

Growing up, I called my grammas “gramma “first name” for my dads mom, and gramma “last name” for my moms mom.

We had this concern. Then we remembered that people have several grandparents and just call them all grandma and grandpa all the time.

Don't stress about the names. Your kid will call them whatever they want and it'll stick whether they like it or not.

My inlaws wanted to be grandma and grandpa. They got mimi and papa because that's what my niece started calling them. There's no going back. And kids won't be nearly as confused as you think.

Tell him it’s too late because that’s what your child has learned to call him. If he tries to complain don’t listen. Just keep telling him it’s not up for debate. Hang up, leave or don’t text back. He doesn’t get to control your child like he controlled you.

When my stepson and his wife had a baby I told them to have the kid call me”Auntie Shay”, All their cousins do. I was concerned that the grandmothers involved would be unhappy if the kid called me grandma.

With high-conflict people, less is more. You are entitled to your hurt, your frustration, your confusion, and your disappointment, as well as any other emotions you’re experiencing in response to their request for a new grandparent nickname. But for your own sanity, leave it out of this conversation. Keep your response short and sweet, and don’t give them anything else to use against you. Example: ‘I understand you want [sibling’s kid] to call you [Nickname], but [your kid] has already learned to call you [1st nickname] and I’m not going to ask them to learn something different. It would be confusing for them.’ And then redirect. Any time it comes up in conversation: ‘I’m not asking my kid to learn a new nickname.’

Don’t give them the fuel of it being too similar to the other family members you’re closer with, don’t give them answers they can argue with, just tell them no and redirect the conversation.

Rant to your spouse/partner, your bestie, your parents, the nice stranger lady at the grocery checkout who lamented missing her family at the holidays, but don’t give the high-conflict parent any more fuel for argument than they create for themselves.

Your kid can have more than one "Grampie" without getting confused. I had 2 Grandpas and 2 Grandmas. My oldest niblings have 3 Grammys. No one get's confused. We just tack a first or last name on to the title if someone asks. ("Grandpa G" vs "Grandpa R", for example.)

My grandfarher did this. However, I was already a teenager by the time my cousins came along. When we heard he wanted to go by a different name, we just looked at each other and shrugged. We said we could just keep calling him his grandparent name, and he could reserve the other name for the other side of the family. We all knew who was being talked about, so it didn't end up being a big deal. We just, like, made a mental compartmentalization of the name for each family. He did want us to also call him by the new name, but we all, my siblings, just laughed it off. 

My parents have all been called different names and it was fine. Mum goes by Grandma for some and Nanna for others. Dad (in Heaven now) mainly went by Granddad, but my eldest got a little confused when they were starting to talk. They mixed him up with a favourite tv character called “Grandpapa” and started calling him Papa. He was delighted. The kids will call them what they like.

I had 5 nannas until I was 15 never had a problem. My son had 4 nannas he never had a problem

Grandparents can be called different names by different grandchildren. It just happens that way sometimes. Your parents need to just get over it. Your child has had a whole lifetime of calling them one name, it's now too late to change. My mother's parents were variously Nana and Granddad, Nanny and Poppy, Grandma and Grandpa depending on which family of grandchildren they were with. It's not that big a deal.

My grandmas were both grandma and my grandpas were both grandpa and it wasn’t confusing. I even had a great-grandma who was “grandma.” And several friends’ grands were also called Grandma and Grandpa. Relax.

Also, the kids will probably end up calling the grandma something ridiculous like Boo-boo or Kitty and then all the pre-planned cool grandparent names will go out the window.

Um, Don't you just call all sets grandma and grandpa or however the child can pronounce it? Why do they need different names?

Mine and the 2 other gmas have the same name.

I suggest you don’t over explain. I’ll make up details for my example: “Hey parent, my kid has been calling you Grandmother Alice for 8 years, she isn’t some robot to be re-trained. I’ll tell her you want to be called Grandma now, but realize that she probably can’t flip that switch and as the adult, I’m certain you can deal with that and will never give her a hard time about it.” And to you, OP, names aren’t a big deal. Both my grandmothers were called Granny to her face. In our home, we referred to them as Granny Firstname to make clear who we were talking about.

When my son was born, he had 2 grandmother and 3 great-grandmothers. Sorting out what to call everyone was a little complicated.

Just add their given name: ex Nana Sue and Nana Jane

My nephew has a Nana number one and a Nana number two. 🤷🏽‍♀️

We used to call my grandad “granddad-last name”. & my lovely grandad was “Grampie”.

what ever happened to just being “grandma and grandpa xyz” 🫩

I have no kids so this can mean whatever you want.

I have no recollection of being told what to call either set of grandparents. We called them whatever we wanted. Usually it was Gramma/Grampa [first name].

Strangely when I talk to one of them now (he's in spirit so it's not like a real conversation), he's become poppa.

Personally, as long as it's not similar enough to be confused for whatever words are used for mom and dad, I don't understand why it matters so much to folks.

Am I right in thinking that your parents originally wanted to be called something like “grandma Josephine and grandpa Jo” and now they want to be called nana and pop- except that the other grandparents already have those names?

I’d suggest saying that your kids already have a nanna and pop and you don’t want them to feel bad if your kids refer to them as “the other nana and pop” since that makes them sound like they aren’t as important to your kids or as involved as the original nana and pop will seem

Your relationship is difficult because they are going out of their way to be difficult. Kids are smart enough to not be confused, they will get it. I would let the child call them whatever they have been all along or I would add your father's name after the new name to differentiate between your difficult father and the lovely relative that had the name first.

Give them the name YOU want. You don't owe anyone anything.