I think if you say it around people who see you repeatedly, and care about you,  you run the risk of them believing you. That is, if anyone ever does show interest, you run the risk of a well meaning friend telling them youre aro or deliberately celibate. Do you want that? 

Also, if youre looking to NOT stand out, absolutely do not tell your peers youre celibate or aro. Those are uncommon things to be, especially at the very young age of 19. As someone with a lot of aro friends, youre way more likely to be interrogated than if you say you just never had a good opportunity, were busy with school, grew up kind of sheltered or even "I dont know". People are not particularly kind or polite to actual aro people, especially men.

Im going to be honest: you are much too young to have given up/accepted anything.

As someone who’s actually ace, telling people you’re ace almost inevitably leads to curious questions, a quite a few of them. Do you really want to lie over and over again to people AND pretend to be a part of a community you don’t belong to?

Just say you haven't found the right person yet, or you are focusing on other things right now.

If people think you're aro/ace, even if someone is interested in you they might not approach you.

And you're 19, you have so much time to meet people, to grow. You barely started the game, don't just give up at the first challenge.

Imagine someone asks you this because they are interested in you. You say you're aroace. They give up because obviously you would never reciprocate. How is that good?

19 is an extremely young age to be ‘giving up’. Your independent life has only just begun. Telling yourself that there’s no chance and it’ll never happen is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Besides that, are you aroace? Because if you aren’t, you shouldn’t be identifying as such

1: You're 19, plenty of people have had no relationships or anything at that point. I didn't kiss a girl until I was 20, and I'm now married.

2: I would not be telling people this if it isn't true. For starters is the obvious fact that you're lying for basically no reason. The other is that if you're telling this to people who know you, they may pass up an opportunity to set you up with someone if they think you're asexual.

I’ve already come to terms and am content with it

Clearly you're not when you're crying yourself to sleep over it. What's the point in lying to yourself?

Which imo looks less ‘pathetic’ I guess than having been trying for years and nothing?

There's nothing pathetic about trying and it not working out. Especially at 19. That's just normal.

If I told someone that I was trying and it didn’t work out I guess it implies something is wrong for whatever multitude of reason

It doesn't. I mean I'd assume that there's room for improvement for anyone's approach when they are 19(!) but why would I assume there's something wrong? Would you assume something is wrong it you met another 19-year-old without dating success so far?

It could also make me less of an outlier amongst my friends

Declaring yourself to be something most people are not compared to just being single in your teens makes you less of an outlier? In what world? And you think that would invite less jokes?

"It hasn't worked out so far" is a perfectly fine answer (and just the truth btw). Also, you don't owe anyone an explanation or details if they're being nosy. But also: You're 19. You have no idea what your future looks like. If you drop this defeatist attitude, however, you'll have much more chances to be happy.

hello, i know that's not exactly what you're asking for, but what helped me to stop thinking im going to never find someone was ''playing the tape through to the very end'', i'm not sure this would be useful for you but it worked for me; i used to be extremely, and i mean extremely insecure about being short. and i thought i would never find someone because of that.

also, i know (and knew) that i wanted to have kids. like very much so. i dont even care about the having a partner bit as much. and so i sort of imagined myself never becoming a father exactly because i was short. all the people in my life refusing to go out with me because im short. when im 20. when im 25. when im 45. i imagined drinking all the time to forget about the fact that im short when i'd be 50. etc.

and basically, when this sob story came to its conclusion i was like ''fuck ok no this is pure stupid what the fuck was that are all the side characters in this fiction story pure dumbasses'' (after crying for like ... 4 hours because in my imaginary life i died at 50 with no kids because im 5'6'')

so maybe you could do something like this? try to process your emotions. engage with them without judgement. play the tape through to the very end. at least for me i a) felt better, and b) also sorta realized that omg this can't be fucking real. 500 people denying me the first date when im 45 because im fucking short like are these people insane??

I wouldn't say something that isn't true. You might upset or confuse people if they find out you were lying and youll probably struggle to date if you create barriers.

If they're good friends I would just be honest and say I don't know and I don't really like being asked.

If they're not good friends I would distance myself and if they were just acquaintances I feel like it would just be easier to say something along the lines of "I haven't been in a relationship for a while", like you don't need to tell people youve never been in a relationship.

Thatt would be an easier lie than pretending you're aroace or celibate for religious reasons.

If you're trying to avoid stigma this is not the way to go. There is far more stigma around being aromantic than there is around being single at the age of 19. This reads to me as very similar to straight women who suggest you tell men you're a lesbian if they won't leave you alone, while not realising that will not only not make them leave you alone, but may also make them more persistent and sometimes violent. People online seem to have this idea that being LGBTQ is far more accepted and far less stigmatised than it actually is in real life.

nah, because if everyone thinks you're aroace people may not pursue a relationship with you.

the thing you need to get through your head is that not having had a relationship at 19 is not weird at all and nobody cares

I also genuinely hate when people say stuff like ‘you’ll find someone eventually’

k but you will though

hi, i'm an actual aroace person here. the short answer is no, it's not better. the long answer is, a, it comes off as a way to politely reject people (this is literally something i have done before), and b, it doesn't even guarantee that you won't get the 'there's someone for everyone' treatment. there are lots of aroace people who, when explaining that they are aroace, get hit with the 'you just haven't met the right person yet' treatment. something you can say instead (and won't even really be a lie) is that you haven't met the right person yet. this implies that you are open to a relationship, but may not necessarily be actively searching for one. it also shows that you want the relationship to have value and not just be a fleeting affair.

most importantly, you're nineteen. i know it feels like you're getting old. i know it feels like the world is coming at you too fast. you're on the cusp of twenty. you won't be able to call yourself a teenager anymore. it feels like you need to start having everything figured out NOW. i was there not too long ago. but listen, that isn't true at all. i'm 22, i still live with my parents. i still haven't gotten my bachelor's because i had a horrible first year of college and had academic trauma because of it (currently working on the degree). i work part time retail. i don't have all of my shit figured out, and you do not have to, either. i am not able to completely empathise with your situation, but i did undergo a sort of parting with a person, and i can on some level understand the bitterness that comes with seeing other people have the dynamic that you don't. in my experience, it's okay to feel the things that you do. it's okay to let yourself feel those emotions. suppression doesn't work forever. again, i've been there. i've done that. it works for a little while, but you will inevitably feel those things again. let yourself feel it, and then let it go. it will be a slow process. you need to be careful not to wallow. i still don't know where that balance is for myself. but it does, very slowly, get better.

Unpopular opinion, but I just lie and say I've had a few relationships or "situations" in the past. At your age, it's actually totally normal; however, when you're nearing 30 like I am, then it's a concern. However, you have a decade OP, so be confident and honest.

You shouldn't worry about being or not being in a relationship. Just worry about doing things to better your life and to make you happy. Having a partner is not guaranteed to make you happy. If you constantly dwell on what you think you missed out on or what you lack, then you'll always be miserable. And if someone asks about when you'll get married, etc., just shrug and say, "If it happens, it happens. If it doesn't, it doesn't." Then let it go at that.

Just live for yourself and your happiness. That's the best way to live.

Not unless you want to end up with people who don't want sex.

I prefer to wait to have sex until I'm in an established and exclusive relationship. But if someone told me he was aromantic or asexual I wouldn't be able to consider him as a potential partner.

"Waiting for the right person" is doable though.

Giving them any reason is asking for the discussion to continue. If you lie and say ace the conversation just continues in a different way, like when you actually do find someone later. You don’t owe ANYONE your reasons for this.

Say this: “I know you’re just curious, but I prefer to keep that part of my life personal. Anyway, [change subject]”

If they still insist on being invasive, just calmly repeat “I keep that part of my life personal” in a neutral tone with a neutral face.

If they say more nosy things, continue to repeat the exact same sentence calmly but firmly. It shows you hold strong to your boundary without getting defensive, and the repetition highlights the bolstering of that boundary.

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I don’t think you should lie about your sexuality to try to make excuses about being single. It’s okay to be single. The “why” really isn’t important at all.