Why? Please share if you’re willing. I carry so much weight from keeping an open line with my mom. She is dangerous but my brain can’t let go of the woman she was when I was little.
She recently tried to overstep with my eldest child by wanting to take him to see his bio dad. Said bio dad is violent, abusive has drug/alcohol issues and abandoned my son about 9 years ago (which is for the best!) my son doesn’t want anything to do with his dad. So I told her to back off.
She unleashed on me telling me I was abusive, controlling, an unfit mother and all that was wrong in my kids lives. She said a tonne of hurtful things designed to manipulate and gaslight me, making herself the victim - (Side note I’ve worked very hard to break generations trauma, I’m married to an amazing guy and both my kids don’t live in fear).
Her vitriol of chaos making herself the victim made me wake up and realise that I was never going to heal (I’ve been diagnosed with CPTSD as a result of my childhood) if I kept putting an ill placed “loyalty” and guilt towards upsetting her above myself and my healing.
So I decided then and there I was better off not having her in my life. I’m tired to walking on egg shells, being judged for everything that I do, particularly by the one person who damaged me almost beyond repair.
I wanted to start living my life for me and stopping the voice in my head being her. None of that was possible while she was still in my life.
Also the fact she wanted to start taking over my kids lives? No thanks.
Let go of the ideas I'll never achieve, I thought I found a way without studying for decades with the best books and teachers but that was proven so wrong in an instant.
I had a guy from my high school ask to hang out and get food while I was home from college for surgery. I almost didn’t, because I was two days post op and didn’t really wanna do much, but I did. We’ve been married for over a year now
Waiting through my brother watching Star Trek reruns after school so I could watch MASH instead of just doing my homework. This lead to an interest in computers which lead to a career in computers, which lead to starting a tech company and to meeting my wife.
All because I choose to watch Star Trek instead of doing my homework.
Coming forward with something I did. The result was a divorce. If I had never came forward, my ex spouse would have never known. I thought I did the right thing, but if I had known that was going to be the result, I would've kept it to myself.
Say “yes” to one random invite.
Met a person there who completely changed my direction in life.
Funny how one tiny “okay, I’ll come” can rewrite your whole story.
What’s the smallest choice that did that for you?
Decided to go when my buddy called me asking if I wanted to go out on a random Monday night. Had I not gone with him, 28 years later I wouldn’t still be married to my smoking hot, awesome wife.
Who i decided to have children with. Meth addict. Completely ruined our lives and his own numerous times over. Glad to say life has been easier since i cut contact with him. And hopefully will have money for divorce soon enough. I should have been more picky. Who you have children with is single handedly the most powerful decision to affect multiple people and the trajectory of your lives for the entirety
Saying “yes” to an invitation you didn’t want to attend
This. Applied to a job I thought I wasn’t qualified for.
What was the job? Why did you think you weren’t qualified?
Deciding to think of myself as lucky.
I am incredibly lucky.
Adding this to the mental toolbox immediately. I’m so lucky i ran into this comment. Matter a fact, TO BE ABLE TO SIMPLY READ IT
Small Decisions With Big Consequences
People meet their spouse, best friend, or business partner because they replied to a text or DM they almost ignored.
I realized this one when I grew up. When I was a teen I don't answer random message or calls if it's from unknown, but now, I answer everything
I joined a bowling league with a bunch of my colleagues and ended up meeting the man I’ve been with for over 15 years 😁🥰
this is so sweet 🥹
I don’t think it’s small but the best thing I ever did was cut off contact with my mother.
Ooh, I think same with my dad, but my feelings are at least slightly mixed. Glad for you that you did the best thing for you!
Why? Please share if you’re willing. I carry so much weight from keeping an open line with my mom. She is dangerous but my brain can’t let go of the woman she was when I was little.
She recently tried to overstep with my eldest child by wanting to take him to see his bio dad. Said bio dad is violent, abusive has drug/alcohol issues and abandoned my son about 9 years ago (which is for the best!) my son doesn’t want anything to do with his dad. So I told her to back off.
She unleashed on me telling me I was abusive, controlling, an unfit mother and all that was wrong in my kids lives. She said a tonne of hurtful things designed to manipulate and gaslight me, making herself the victim - (Side note I’ve worked very hard to break generations trauma, I’m married to an amazing guy and both my kids don’t live in fear).
Her vitriol of chaos making herself the victim made me wake up and realise that I was never going to heal (I’ve been diagnosed with CPTSD as a result of my childhood) if I kept putting an ill placed “loyalty” and guilt towards upsetting her above myself and my healing.
So I decided then and there I was better off not having her in my life. I’m tired to walking on egg shells, being judged for everything that I do, particularly by the one person who damaged me almost beyond repair.
I wanted to start living my life for me and stopping the voice in my head being her. None of that was possible while she was still in my life.
Also the fact she wanted to start taking over my kids lives? No thanks.
Going on a date with the mother of my son.
Talking to the guy who had been trying to get me to notice him for months. We’ve been married for almost 33 years and it’s been a wonderful life.
Going to California for a NASM Integrated Flexibility Specialist specialization
Listen to a podcast, ended up quiting my job
Did you end up finding a dream career out of this or?
What made you quit?
getting that 2nd shot
Drinking water daily
Marry my husband.
Same.
Joined the service
Gave up pornography and went to church
Nerd
I knocked on a door.
A girl I was fond of in school lived there.
8 years had past.
I assumed she’d be married, moved , have kids even.
Nope . She was single.
So we got married.
That was 30 years ago and I still pinch myself every morning when I wake up to find her by my side. I’m so in love with her.
thanks for sharing - I like that
Let go of the ideas I'll never achieve, I thought I found a way without studying for decades with the best books and teachers but that was proven so wrong in an instant.
Following orders given by my penis.
Letting my dad take me to the ER when I wasn’t feeling well. It actually saved my life.
Eating too much carbs
To have kids
Rage sending curriculums everywhere
I had a guy from my high school ask to hang out and get food while I was home from college for surgery. I almost didn’t, because I was two days post op and didn’t really wanna do much, but I did. We’ve been married for over a year now
😍 Nice! Do you remember what food you guys got?
Yes! It was frozen yogurt
Waiting through my brother watching Star Trek reruns after school so I could watch MASH instead of just doing my homework. This lead to an interest in computers which lead to a career in computers, which lead to starting a tech company and to meeting my wife.
All because I choose to watch Star Trek instead of doing my homework.
So... thanks, Bro? 😉
Coming forward with something I did. The result was a divorce. If I had never came forward, my ex spouse would have never known. I thought I did the right thing, but if I had known that was going to be the result, I would've kept it to myself.
Not staying away from my f ing parents' house when I had the chance.
I was born
To stop procrastinating
Say “yes” to one random invite. Met a person there who completely changed my direction in life. Funny how one tiny “okay, I’ll come” can rewrite your whole story. What’s the smallest choice that did that for you?
Answering a phone. Oh, you want the story? The call was for a job interview where I met my future wife.
Filing for a trademark
Giving up on my four year long crush
cutting off toxic people
Decided to go when my buddy called me asking if I wanted to go out on a random Monday night. Had I not gone with him, 28 years later I wouldn’t still be married to my smoking hot, awesome wife.
signing up for that random, free online course just because I've got nothing to do. it led to my current career path, wild
Open an IRA at 23 years old
Saying yes to an internship I didn’t apply to
Little did I know grabbing a 2 dollar soda from the back for my lunch would lead to me losing everything
Staying off alcohol and drugs
Making my bed having coffee oh my fav reading my bible
Sleep and gym
To actually do all of my homework
Who i decided to have children with. Meth addict. Completely ruined our lives and his own numerous times over. Glad to say life has been easier since i cut contact with him. And hopefully will have money for divorce soon enough. I should have been more picky. Who you have children with is single handedly the most powerful decision to affect multiple people and the trajectory of your lives for the entirety
Eliminating people gradually
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Eh, you don't know that, Debbie Downer. 🫤