I'm on day two-ish of not feeling well from a stupid random cold, it's the first day of winter break for the kids' school, but it's a "mom's house first" year so I'm all by myself. Got to see them all earlier this evening when I dropped off a few extras and odds/ends that I forgot to pack up earlier in the day, so that's always nice.

So I'm moping around, all by my lonesome. Watched some TV, played some games, listened to some music, all very typical comfy activities. I'm a musician, but I've been in such a depression that I've barely touched a guitar in the last year. I'm super emotionally sensitive to music so when I'm in a particularly down place, I tend to inadvertently avoid it because it makes me feel too many feels at once.

But, I'm really actually trying to turn my bullshit around (except actually meaning it this time), so I decided to pursue a random bit of inspiration when one of my favorite songs came on. I used to learn new covers all the time when I was younger, even if I was never going to play them at a show. But now I'm late into my 30s, divorced, and sad as shit all the time so it's almost a novel concept all over again.

So I jump on google, print out a chord chart for Funeral by Phoebe Bridgers, and start feeling out the song/key. Her voice is quite a bit higher than mine, so I start a 4 steps lower because my voice is still full of bullshit cold germs, but it doesn't feel quite right. I reach for my capo, but it's not where I remember putting it.

Now I'm wandering around my house, looking for this capo before the moment vanishes, and I open up a drawer near my desk. I tend to keep things I actually use out where I can access them more easily, so these drawers don't get opened very often. Turns out this is the drawer in which I tossed my wedding band after I first got the place unpacked and arranged.

It's not that I'd forgotten where I put the ring, it's just that it's been a couple years since I've worn it, so the out-of-sight-out-of-mind rule was in full effect. Something about it being discarded in a drawer felt kind of poetic, given how I became a lonely divorced non-custodial father in the first place. I picked it up and put it on a display shelf I built, right next to my favorite books, some nerdy action figures, and a silly little tiny framed picture of me as a toddler. It was like completing a monument to the past we'll never get back, and the future we'll never get to have.

I bawled my eyes out.

TL;DR:

I, a divorced Millenial father, decided to learn a Phoebe Bridgers song but couldn't find my capo, instead found my wedding ring that I discarded in a drawer, then cried a lot when I relocated it to a very special and visible shelf instead.

EDIT:

I should add-

I never did find my stupid capo