I started my medical transition journey in June of 2023. I have found new friends and community, overcome new challenges, and found a joy and happiness that I didn't know existed within me. The person on the left was empty and hopeless, and now I see every day as a gift. I have never felt more happy or free ☺️

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  • May I ask a question respectfully because I’m super inquisitive and genuinely want to educate myself: I’m so happy that you have become your authentic self because life is too short to not be, but after seeing so many befores and afters of trans women sporting beards and very overtly masculine appearances prior to transitioning; why did you sport such a very traditionally masculine appearance if you always felt you were a woman?

    I know there’s no one right way to be a trans woman because I’m sure the journey is different for every individual, but I’m so used to seeing very feminine clean shaven young men who transitioned to becoming women. And now and then, I am struck by seeing trans women who could pass as cis and masculine male before transitioning. For context, I am a gay cis male. Thanks!

    PS: I hope I am not being intrusive.

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    a “dysphoria beard” is quite common. it is a way of hiding your face, a physical mask to the world. it is also quite uncomfortable to shave, and combined with depression is usually just easier to let it go.

    as for the wider masculine appearance, that’s just due to the compulsion/survival need to try and fit in. we wouldn’t want anyone to have a single inkling of what we truly are so we overcompensate with both appearance and personality. this often comes out as an overly macho, performative attitude or perhaps more of an edgelord persona.

    you often have trans women in denial go the the gym often or take very good care of their looks, all in an effort to both maintain the mask as well as try and make masculinity work for them. A lot of a pre-transition trans woman’s life is focused on trying to make masculinity work: maybe getting buff at the gym will finally make me a man, maybe getting a girlfriend will finally make me a man, maybe it’s having a son and forcing him to be as masculine as possible so that he can be the man that you never could be.

    Of course, none of these things will make this person a man. None of these things will make them happy, or fill the chronic emptiness inside of them. Only acceptance of what they really are can do this.

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    “Make masculinity work”: those three words. Just wow. I don’t think I needed any more explanation. It makes so much sense now considering I as a gay man had to compensate and act very masculine in order to hide any traces of femininity and to “pass” in the world pretending to be a heterosexual male. Sometimes we do have to overcompensate so that other people (bigots) don’t figure us out. Appreciate the time you spent explaining this to me.

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    I appreciate being given the opportunity to explain it!

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    'dysphoria beard." That makes sense. I believe in psychology they call these "safety behaviors."

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    with or without you being gay. I personally don't think that your question could NOT have been asked in a more respectful manner. Not without sounding uncomfortably over thought. lol. perfect example of being genuinely curious about someone's Religious beliefs/practices, Lifestyles, Culture, ect... Now If people would stop being attacked/canceled for Asking honest questions I think actual tolerance & acceptance would become normal. I'm not a typical straight male. I was raised in the LGBT community. I grew up in a home with my single straight mother and her life long best friend with her partner (my God Mothers), and their daughter. raised together as siblings. my sister and I didn't even know what the words gay/lesbian actually meant even though we heard those words ALOT lolvuntil around the age of 10/11. We didn't know It was abnormal, not socially accepted & different. we literally just thought some dudes loved dudes and some chicks loved chicks and some people loved the opposite type I was actually blown away when I found out that some people were greedy and liked BOTH. lol silly to think that was what I thought was just absolutely strange as a child. alot has changed in the world since thrn some of its not great but mostly good it's definitely better to be LGBT nowadays we were born in the mid 80s and raised in the ghetto during the 90s by 2 white lesbians and a straight white woman. our parents loved us the same way other kids were loved by catching parents hands... BTW we don't know what the fuck people are talking about saying that white people don't Slap mouths of their kids get their heads knocked off shoulders. or kick their ass in the store for being disrespectful, fucking up in school, or acting foolish in public. cuz the 3 ladies did not tolerate BS didn't matter where we were at store, park, at a friends/family house we caught those hands then got told to stop crying before they give us a reason to be.. im fucking 40 and I'm still more afraid of getting caught by my mother's then the fucking police true facts I'll take charges over my mom's hands. LIFE IS SO SHORT GETTING SHORTER BY THE MINUTE AND IT'S EASIER TO ASK QUESTIONS TO UNDERSTAND WHY WE'RE SO FUCKING DIFFERENT THAN ANYONE ELSE WE MEET ALONG THE WAY EVEN IF YOU DON'T LIKE WHO THEY ARE AS A PERSON YOU DON'T HAVE TO KEEP THEM IN YOUR LIFE. TOLERANCE AND ACCEPTANCE IS DAILY PRACTICE OF BEING HONEST BEING REAL AND BEING RESPECTFUL TO EACH OTHER. FUCK THE DUMB SHIT LIFE SUCKS FOR EVERYONE

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  • What hair products do you use? Your hair looks so pretty!! It looks like my hair if I knew what to do with it lol 😅

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    Thank you!! I use Amika shampoo and conditioner, and once or twice a week I'll use a Kristen Ess curl mask. After that I'll put mousse in it and let it completely air dry if I can. If I don't I'll diffuse it, but I really try not to use heat if at all possible. Then once it's 100% dry I use a bonding oil to break the gel cast and that's it for the routine. After that I just use a daily leave in curl cream to refresh them in between wash/curl days! It does take some curl training to get it right, though. Tik Tok was a big help in finding the right routine for me!

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    I use Amika shampoo and conditioner, and once or twice a week I'll use a Kristen Ess curl mask. After that I'll put mousse in it and let it completely air dry if I can. If I don't I'll diffuse it, but I really try not to use heat if at all possible. Then once it's 100% dry I use a bonding oil to break the gel cast and that's it for the routine

    Do you wash every day, even when doing the curl mask?

    No dry shampoo?

    Which bonding oil?

    How exactly do you curl it? Is your hair straight without any products?

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    I condition every day and shampoo about twice a week. I use the leave in spray in the mornings and I shower and air dry in the evenings.

    I use Olaplex number 7 bonding oil (but it's just what I had, I'm not sure if the type of oil really matters.)

    I curl it using a scrunching method. Basically I stand in the water and scrunch it up until it forms clumps. Then I'll apply product immediately after getting out of the shower and do that again. Don't touch it! That'll ruin the cast. My hair is curly/wavy without doing this, but they're way less defined.

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    Yeah that hair is on point.

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  • I mean that’s one hell of a glow up!

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  • Don’t think it’s a glow up, personally. But if you’re happy, I’m happy.

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  • girl you are GLOWING!!!🔥🔥 your hair is incredible!

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    she literally does not. you can see it everywhere in her face. she just doesn’t happen to be smiling in the second pic, but her eyes are much more relaxed and her skin is beautiful. hence: glowing. you are projecting your miserable existence onto a stranger on the internet. hope that helps!

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    You just called someone a "miserable existence" for saying someone looked angry. I know you view yourself as someone who protects those who are a "victim". But it seems you're willing to dismiss other people's lives in the process. VERY tribalism behavior. Hope that helps! 😁

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    Dude this is the trans praise subreddit. You're in the wrong spot lol

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    I have an opinion but it will be silenced if spoken lol

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    then you probably should reevaluate?

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    I don’t think I should change my opinion just because you don’t like it.

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    you don’t have to, but like… if you care about being a good person you probably should. if u wanna go through life as an asshole that’s cool too ig, thank you for staying (mostly) quiet about it! most people wanna grow and learn and become better, but if that’s not you by all means…

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    Sure, but you’re not obligated to share it.

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    I’d actually love to share it, but it would just get removed. I don’t care about the downvotes and these posts always get brigaded to downvote anyone who dissents from the overly positive agenda. The sensitive ones love to brigade. It’s the removal of the opinion that’s irritating.

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    I wanna hear it

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    Are you feeling attention starved? This has some next level conservative pick me vibes.

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    The only thing I’m feeling is annoyed.

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    girl why are you frothing at the mouth to bring people down?? you’re like jumping out of your chair to tell the world you’re an asshole and for what?? what is so upsetting about your own life that you can see a nice, positive space and feel the need to ruin it? rage bait maybe, but even then… what do you gain from this? please for the love of god either do some self reflection, or go somewhere where you can find other swamp people to be miserable with. jfc.

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    You’re so boring you’ve got nothing better to do than shit on people building happy healthy lives for themselves? It’s not their fault you don’t feel you can do the same for yourself.

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    Well clearly your opinion isn’t being silenced because now every person here knows that that you have an extremely awful bigoted opinion. So I guess you got your wish, and got to share with everyone that you don’t approve of trans people, congratulations.

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    A bigoted opinion is never good

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    How are you gonna see a drop dead gorgeous woman and go why? She’s stunning

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    “Drop dead gorgeous woman.”

    👮‍♂️✋🛑

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    I dropped dead she’s so gorgeous I’m replying from the grave

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  • so beautiful. and like obviously damn your hair game omg

    from one girl to another -- don't fall into the trap of trying to be too thin; make sure to stay strong and healthy :)

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    Thank you! I did fall into that trap. I'm working on it now but it's an uphill battle for sure. Thank you for your concern 😌

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  • Wow! You look amazing 🙂

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  • OP, you look amazing and inspiring and beautiful :3

    You are amazing and radiant :3

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  • Damn that’s a glow up.

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  • Your hair is amazing! <3.

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  • Always had good hair 🫶

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  • GURL. YOU LOOK AMAZING.

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  • Beautiful. Simply beautiful.

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  • You look more like a woman now. Ok as long as you're happy.

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  • Wow I’m so happy for you! What a profound change, you’re a babe now because your happiness shines through even without a smile -congratulations!

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  • Your hair is so gorgeous - makes me want to grow mine out again.

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  • Hair is giving all the body and bounce!

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  • Holy shit you are a very hot lady

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  • You look great! And wow, your hair!! Really love the color, is it your natural haircolor?

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    Thank you! It is my natural color!

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  • You look beautiful!

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  • gorgeous!! and your hair is to die for!!

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  • Can we hold hands ?

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  • You are beautyfull!

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  • !!!!! A Glow up indeed!

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