I wanted to tag it both advice and discussion but I can only choose one.

It's hard making friends when you're an adult.

It's not like when you were a kid when you could just walk up to someone in elementary or high-school and start up a conversation.

And if you try doing something like that at a job or something then you get turned down hard or they think you're a freak.

And aside from reddit & discord, I don't really like social media.

And most of the time you social media isn't really meant to help you make new friends.

That in addition to not having a job anymore(i got fed up with the people in charge not being understanding and having nearly impossible rules & depression. )

So i'm kind of stuck.

Edit: suggestions?

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    parent

  • Making friends on discord is easy tho

    parent

    Well I'm mostly in some large gaming & fanfiction communities and idk I'm not good at talking to strangers.

    I always fuck things up. I try but it just doesn't seem to work. I talk to people on there Edit: but I'm not close to anyone

    parent root

  • So here's what I did

    • Join Discord group

    • Talk to people

    • Eventually you will meet someone local

    • Be friends with them

    • Give it a few months, meet up

    • Befriend their mutuals

    You have IRL friends now. Like it worked for me and I live in the fuck end of nowhere.

    parent

    I fail at the part in between talk to people and Meet someone local.

    Edit: one of the main discords im in contains 18,900 people.

    And the other contains 13,236 people.

    So while that might be alot I probably don't talk as much in these communities as I would need to to meet someone in my area.

    parent root

    Yeah you need smaller channels, like 800ish people. Usually only like 40ish are active regularly when there's 800

    parent root

  • It's not like when you were a kid when you could just walk up to someone in elementary or high-school and start up a conversation.

    Hahaha not for me lol

    IN my HS, the kids would tell me to go away, if I tried to talk to them, and after year 8 I fully stopped talking them. At work I can talk to my coworkers nad be friends with them, but at this point I prefer having no friends.

    parent

  • Do you play video games? Sometimes your online community IS/are your friends. I met people through New world, its a MMORPG. I met some folks on there. They don't live near me per-se, but I have drove places to meet them and vice versa.

    parent

    Yeah I play video games but it's mostly single player stuff now though. So I don't get to talk to people in games. I haven't played an mmo in years.

    parent root

    There's not many to choose from that are actually good. and New World just got the axe. I swapped over to Enshrouded but people only played for 2 days and then dropped off. It's def hard. You could go the route of watching a streamer who does the stuff you do, and then within that community find folks. I've had friends that that works for. I think I just got really lucky with the people I met. Yes having a job helps for sure, BUT the other side of that is I don't have anyone at my work that lives near me anymore because I work remote. Now we are on reddit lol I wish you luck!

    parent root

  • It's also hard keeping them. I've had a few basically drop off the face of the earth once they start dating someone and never come back.

    Some will move away, rarely if ever heard as much as a couple of texts.

    Nearing my late 20s it's kinda getting harder to keep in contact with people my age cause it seems like a lot of them have families or partners. 

    It's awkward spending time with a mom and her kid, or a friend and their partner.

    And I can't make friends with younger adults (who tend to have more time on their hands) without feeling weird.

    parent

  • Really hard especially if where you live, people are cliquish/tribal. There's literally many parts of the world where people literally don't want to make friends with people outside of their clique. People who act like it's so easy clearly do not live in one of the parts of the world, I'm talking about. It's wild how there's so many people in this world who just don't want to make new friends who are outside of their social circle. It's a myth that people are friendly. Because people are only friendly in a handful of places in this world. I'd say, most of humanity is unfriendly.

    parent