I found out at 24 my mum isn’t my biological mother, I believed my whole life I was half polish me and my brother both in the same situation (we are 10 months apart) share the same biological mum and dad and I’m struggling to come to terms with the situation I felt horrible as my mum that raised me is like my best friend, me and my brother met our biological mum recently for the first time and havnt told our parents as they would be against the idea due to her being a crackhead but the love we feel from her is indescribable, I feel as if my whole life has been flipped upside down and I’ve been lied to my whole life, I was just over 2 when separated from my birth mum and now finding out about another sister that I have who at the time was around 7, it’s affecting my mental atm I lost motivation to go to work as my mind is all over the place and I feel like there’s so much I need to find out, I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel or what to do and it’s driving me mad, I’m not confrontational and can be seriously quiet even when visiting my birth mum I didn’t have many questions but thinking about the whole situation constantly is overwhelming me and making me feel ill, my entire family knew about this and I feel like I’ve completely lost sense of my identity, I’m not sure what to do and I’m finding it difficult to go about my day when all I can think of is to investigate the truth about mine and my brothers lives, if anyone can relate or give any advice I’d appreciate it as I’m feeling very lost in all this and could use the support.
I don’t want to focus on the fact that your bio mom is using crack , so I will keep it short.
Do not give her money. An addict can be very unpredictable. If they don’t get their drugs, they can get very ugly and say ugly things. An addicts can be very manipulative. Just be really careful. Get to know her, but do not give her money. And do not be shocked if you plan to meet, or talk and she doesn’t show up or doesn’t answer
Of course you want to be in your mom’s life, I just want to warn you. I was addicted to pills, so I’m talking from experience. I lied to my own family through my addiction, but I have over 10 years clean now and I will never go back to that.
And I know you are mad at your adopted mother. But don’t forget the life she gave you, your mom is an addict. The life you adopted mom provided was probably a much better life.
That wasn’t so short, I’m sorry. I wish you the best and congrats on finding your bio Mom. And at some point, you do need to tell your adopted mother the truth. I know she didn’t do that with you, but don’t be like her. Be honest. 💕💕