Does anyone else feel like pumping is a bit of an addiction? It isn’t a great comparison but I’m trying to figure out the best way to describe it. Maybe compulsion is a better term. I so desperately want to stop pumping but also feel vindicated to finally be able to provide enough for my LO (most days, still supplementing 12oz of formula about once per week) that I can’t give it up. 4 lactation consultants, a pediatrician, and my OB all comfortably assumed I had a low supply. All but my OB commented on my LO’s possible tongue tie and never ventured to think that one might have something to do with the other. No one gave good instruction on pumping, I got the most valuable information from this community. I am still so livid that this was the assumption, my immediate postpartum experience could have been something other than feeling like a failure and fraught with self deprecation. I don’t know how to untangle my anger from my desire to provide breast milk for my LO and actually discern when it is time to stop. So much work goes into building supply, how have you decided when it’s time to wean and let go of that work?
I keep moving my quit date back. When my son was first born, I told myself I had to get to three months. When I hit that I said six months. Then I said a year. Now I think I'll pump for a little after a year and fill my freezer up with it. Then I'll stop. My baby is six months next week. To be clear, I loathe pumping with every fiber of my being. I've had an oversupply for almost the entire time. But, I love feeding my son. I love knowing that he's getting the very best source of nutrition from me. I also feed a donor baby. I've exclusively fed a NICU preemie. I'm very proud of that. I've helped her gain almost ten pounds!
That’s amazing!!
Big same. At the start I said 4 weeks and I'd have to reconsider. Then that became 6, then 8 until bubba had time to wake up at the breast (spoiler she never did). After that I thought why not make 6 months and get that good start in. Now I'm at 6 months and I've decided to try for a year.
With all the feeding issues I've had being able to pump and produce and even donate has sometimes felt like the one bright point in my journey even though it has been difficult and time consuming and makes it so awkward to try to go places and do things.
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Ohh I have just had this conversation as I am stopping for medical reasons and it is so hard as it is addictive! It releases amazing hormones and makes you feel good.
I would see how this can turn into an addiction, so I’m 1 month PP and I don’t pump at night cause for my mental health I need to sleep so I supplement with goat infant formula closest to breast milk. I try to pump 4-5 times through the day but my supply is always just enough or a little below enough so I can see why. I did give myself an end date of 3 months once he has all his vaccines but we will see if I stop or not.
Off topic but may I ask what brand goat milk formula you are using?
HIPP pre goat milk infant formula
I definitely did some revenge pumping for a few weeks after we got out of the hospital, to spite all the nurses who did everything they possibly could to sabotage me having a decent supply
Good God that's terrible, I'm sorry. What'd they do?
I don’t really feel like recounting it all. The information about how nurses can do this is very available on this and other subs.
Yes- my EP journey with my first consumed so much time and effort since I didn't know she wasn't transferring enough from nursing until she had fallen off her curve when she was like 8 weeks old so I had a lot of work to do to actually have a supply. I'd compare it to weight lifting or training for a marathon or something. I was pumping constantly to build a supply and found it satisfying to see results both in my output and a chubby baby. Plus the feel good breastfeeding hormones and making the satisfaction of making jt to a goal date and then pushing said date back once you meet the goal. It was like running for me - I'll run two miles and see how I feel and then I'd run more once I hit that goal. I ended up going to 14 months with my first. I'll probably end up going that long with my current babe too but I'll see how I feel after I hit my initial goal of three months :P
I like the comparison to another physical challenge. I thought I’d stop after 3 months and now I have my eye on 6 months but it’s so hard to think about actually stopping. Even after almost half a year I still get hit with an occasional intense wave of envy for those who can nurse. It doesn’t look easy, either, but to not have to be hooked to a machine 4-5x per day, washing bottles and pump parts all the time and instead have your sweet little human cuddled up… it looks easier than EP.
It is easy to think that people who directly nurse have it easier but I don't know that it's easier. It's just different with different pros/cons. I have a friend who exclusively pumps by choice because she likes the schedule, control, and freedom pumping provides instead of being at the demand of the babe for as often and for as long as they want it. But yes, I can relate to the envy for my friends who can just nurse without issues and have that relationship with their babies. I will say that the second time doing exclusive pumping has highlighted some of the benefits of pumping over nursing for me and I also spend less time washing parts/bottles because I jumped right into more hacks/rule breaking compared to my first EP journey.
Regardless, 6mos is amazing for EPing and now that solids are in the mix, the end is in sight! Congrats on your marathon thus far and your final leg of the journey :)
Complete Side note - I will say when you do start weaning, one thing that caught me off guard was the hormones/emotions of tapering off the pump. The process of actively decreasing my supply and weaning made me more emotional, tearful, and anxious. It took me a second to attribute the change to the hormonal shift of stopping. It made me wean a bit more slowly to give me time to adjust and process the emotions of weaning. Just passing along in case it comes up for you too.
I appreciate it, thank you! I hadn’t really considered the hormonal shift of weaning.