It's so annoying when they say that and try to make their mistakes equivalent to yours. Like ma'am all I literally did was be moody teenager at times, mismanage my own mental health due to having bad resources and supports and try a few edibles at 19. YOU traumatized several children, tried to permanently ruin my future, kick me out and then harass me with false accusations of wanting to harm my siblings and having "borderline narcissistic personality disorder" and treated me as if I was your shitty ex all because I peacefully chose not to come crawling back. We are NOT the same.
That one in particular just drives me up a wall. Sure, it's their first time living too but they've also got 20+ years of experience on me, why aren't they better at it?
It's especially gratifying to me because I was never given that grace myself; I was constantly mocked for doing new tasks slower or sloppier than her. Every mistake I made had to be some complex scheme to disrespect her and a sign of me being an enemy. i remeber once she told 15-year-old me about how there was 1000 things she didn't like about me, now that I am only 5 years older I find the idea that a grown ass woman was beefing with a 15-year-old me to the point of finding thousands of grating things about me odd.
Because somehow my parents decided I’m an old soul, so it’s unfair I criticize them.
*shrug emoji
They don't see you as a child. They never did. They never acknowledged that power imbalance. Yes we're adults now but for decades they had all the power, money, and resources.
They made the choice to create children.
Some people have the "privilege" of never ever wondering to themselves, "Am I a fucking asshole?" They are emotionally and psychologically shallow and weak. They lack self reflection and actively run from it. They are disinterested in self-knowledge and the self-betterment that only comes through that self-search
My male dna donor to a T.
The way I look at it, yeah it is my first time living but I also have WAY more life experience than my teenage son. It's my first time living, but that doesn't mean I don't have to apologize for mistakes. It's okay to make mistakes, as long as you are owning up for them and apologizing with the intent to not do harm again.
Have they ever offered forgiveness like that (that's what the phrase is implying?)
Have they ever?
"If you ever offer forgiveness, then what you're saying will matter"
It’s just a nothing sentiment that allows them to absolve themselves of not having thought about it.
Oh, your parent/s were so much worse? How does that prevent you from having been even better than the way you were?
You didn’t have any good examples? What prevented you from talking to professionals, reading books, or talking with all the other people who don’t abuse their kids?
You’re just human and make mistakes? Why are there millions of other fallible humans not making the mistakes you made?
They are the way they are, because they have never cared enough to be different. Either because they are stupid, self centered, cowardly, or cruel.
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These types of statements are so hurtful and only push me further away bc they reinforce why I’m not there in the first place. Sending support