I am trying not to throw myself a pity party, but it really hurts my heart seeing other families together for Christmas, sharing time and warmth, while I am alone and feeling no Christmas spirit at all. It has been five Christmases now, and for some reason this year feels especially heavy. I am a whole state away, and I have not spoken to my mom in five years, so seeing her actively spending Christmas with my brother and his girlfriend just stings. I still talk to my dad, and he reached out this morning, which meant a lot, but I cannot shake the feeling of being left out.
Anyway, I am going to try to make the best of today, watch a comfort show, drink some coffee, and treat it like any other day. I also wanted to put this out there for anyone else who might be in a similar place, we are not alone in this, and we will get through this holiday together.
I haven't had a Christmas with my biological family in seven years. Zero communication. However, for me, it is an extremely comfortable and relieving feeling. I personally do not put a lot of weight on holidays and come the end of the year, I feel grateful for having ducked their toxicity for another portion of my life. I enjoy Christmas with my fiance's family.
I'm sorry you are struggling with this. I wish I could give you advice, but we're in a similar situation with completely different perspectives. Do you have a partner? If not, do you plan to be in a relationship eventually? Spending time with a friend or partner's family for holidays may help a lot with your feelings of exclusion and loneliness. If that's not possible, create some comforting and fun traditions for yourself on Christmas to keep your mind occupied.
Merry Christmas, OP. 🎄 I hope you can find some enjoyment in it.
I think some of the heaviness comes from the fact that I am still in contact with my dad, and my parents are still together. He is a truly wonderful man, and that is one relationship I know I will not cut off. I do have a partner, but we moved to a different state this year and have not really been able to do much for the holidays yet. I am trying to shift into a lighter mindset though, and honestly might just need to reset the day a bit haha.
Thank you so much for the kindness. I am really happy for you and admire the strength it takes to fully step away when it is the healthiest choice, I know that is not easy. Sending you all the Christmas wishes as well.
Ooooh a coffee sounds lovely. I'm in Australia and just woke up, its boxing day now here. The day came and went. I had an early night. Played video games most of the day, I'm a grown ass woman in my 40s playing video games in my pjs on Xmas Day alone. Was it sad or was it awesome? A little bit of both. Haha!
I honestly ended up playing battlefield 6 and had hella fun so I enjoyed a video game Christmas Day as well !!
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