For those whose marriages ended because of an affair:
I'm curious to know what were the reactions of your ex's families and friends when they learned your marriage ended because of her cheating.
Did they make you the villain,support you,or go no contact?
Want to know your side of things.
Her friends supported her. Her family supported me and was mad at her for what she did. I’ve always had a good relationship with her parents. We are now divorced and she had the kids for Thanksgiving. Planned dinner with her affair partner. Her parents refused to go with the AP there.
Villain at first. Then her family figured out I was the good one all along and her “friends” all disappeared.
In my experience she had like a year of fun during and after divorce then reality set in. Meanwhile my life got better every year without selfish thot dragging me down and spending every last cent of free cash flow. CS has been a massive discount over her spending on junk.
Mine is finishing her year of fun it appears. She had 300k when she left and she and her affair partner started a gym. The money is almost entirely gone now and she just signed up for dental assistant school. He is a part time dog trainer that teaches Saturday classes for the city we live in. Neither has any income effectively. Both are personal guarantors on a 4500 per month gym lease for the next three years. It will be interesting to see how that plays out and if it gets me more custody time effectively.
Good grief, my experience echoes this sentiment. I couldn't believe how much extra cash I had, even though I was paying rent and commuting more.
Of course, she immediately started buying all the things I said we couldn't afford when we were married with two incomes. Kids report she goes to a second job cleaning rental properties for a friend after they go to bed and I know she had been donating plasma. But I guess she still has the big house and expensive furniture. 🤷🏻♂️
She sold her friends and family all on the lie that I was "emotionally abusive" to her by being "manipulative and coercive" when it came to our intimacy - the classic "silver bullet". Luckily it didn't work in court or the custody hearings, but it did utterly destroy my reputation and relationships. Aside from the destroyed relationships and getting financially raked over the coals, I'm doing pretty darn good.
Hang in there dude. Trying to tell myself the same.
Her friends and mother villainized me and supported her. The rest of her family including her brothers either distanced themselves or cut contact with her. Her mother claims to be a holier than though devout Methodist but when it comes to her own adultery or her daughter’s it’s all good
Sounds like my bible banging in-laws
Same
Her nephews and my brother in law took my side. Bible-bashing parents and all the females took her side.
This was basically my experience
I’m seeing a pattern here 😂⛪️ They choose the bits of The Bible they like or can manipulate.
Everyone from the area that we knew took her side. And I was promised by her brother that I will never see or talk to my son again. She is going to be sentenced for 7 felonies soon. No one has contacted me about my son still.
Blinders/didn’t give a damn. It makes me ashamed to have spent half of my life with those people.
Honestly being cheated on is not something I was super proud of, but my ex had enough other crazy going on it just became part of the story, but not something we spent a lot of time talking about. That being said, lots of support for me, she alienated just about everyone. I’d like to think the one being cheated on would never be the villain.
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That's good.
I kept quiet on social media. Refused to seek validation or support from people who didn’t know the half of it. She thrived on it though. Several posts where she was “finally choosing happiness” and she’s “so glad she found the courage.” Not gonna lie, it really hurt to see so many people who I thought were my friends like and comment to congratulate her. It hurt a lot actually. But then a few who had been mutual friends of us both since grade school (very small town), reached out and let me know they knew who I was, and that they were there if I needed any support. That meant everything to me. I’ve sense moved on and remarried. She did too with the guy was cheating on me with. Then she started an OF, then got divorced, then remarried and got very judgmentally religious. I have the kids during the week and she has weekends. I’m doing just fine. I just had to get through hell to get here. But I earned it.
Not so much cheating as a planned exit person.
Her mom still introduces or references me as her son-in-law to other people, that's the part that hurts the most. I was really starting to enjoy that kind of stuff; Christmas, Thanksgiving, birthdays and such.
Honestly I don’t think the reason matters, keep that private to outside parties
???
In a divorce with kids I don’t think telling people the reason or that anyone cheated if it happened is really shareable information
Thats not what I'm asking...my post is about the reaction of family and friends when they learn about your ex wife's affair or cheating
This one right here, officer. Found the cheater.
Actually you would be wrong, but I just didn’t make it anyone else’s business because she was my child’s mom
She would be a better mother if she were held accountable.
That is bitterness and pulling yours and her issues into the kids life.
Someone is telling a story, and if its not you, its her. What's she telling your kid?
I felt the same as you until my ex insinuated I sexually assaulted her and that’s why she left me to my 12 year old daughter. Then it was time for the truth.