Divorced two years ago. Started a long time ago. 14/9 B/G 50/50. Ex and I are amicable ish and don’t argue.
Drove my son’s friend home just now after they did some sledding at the hill behind my apartment. Saw the truck in my old driveway. (The house I paid off to give to her) Same one I noticed last week one morning dropping daughter at school. Anyway, confirmed she’s seeing someone. Which of course I expected eventually, but that first full confirmation kinda still stings a bit I guess. It shouldn’t. I’m now in a one year relationship with an awesome GF myself. My kids just met her and think highly of her. And I certainly will not be telling her that it still bothers me a bit.
Anyway. Needed to share that with someone. I’m sure I will be ok by tomorrow. Dude has a 10 year old truck but at least it’s a Chevy. Noticed a fire fighter union sticker so hopefully that means he’s a good dude if he ends up being around the kids ever.
Thanks for listening. I’m ok 🙂
7 years post divorce, ex has had a few relationships since then and they still sting each and everyone one. The holidays just feel empty and full of dread and loneliness still. I hate it
Try to take the view that she’s someone else’s problem now. Maybe that will help.
Sorry brother. Stay strong I hope you still can surround yourself with people that appreciate you for the holidays.
If he’s a firefighter then he’s also divorced and probably is going/ will go/ has gone through what your going through. I promise.
And he’ll be going through it again in a few more years
Well hopefully not with her tbh. This is what I worry about. She’s a ripe target. Financially illiterate with a giant asset
Very valid, but you Can’t control who she’s with or what she does. Her problem now, not yours G 🙏🏾
True that 🙏
I can't wait for my ex to get a bf so he can be the lightening rod for her craziness instead of me.
This doesn’t happen. They play a new role with the new guy, hide who they actually are and take it out on you because you have kids together and you can’t totally escape them. My ex does this. Totally a control freak but her new guy doesnt put up with that so she tries to control my life.
12 years... my ex had been seeing the new guy for months before separation was even brought up. Lied the whole time.
There is no shortcut through the grief. Take time to process it. Cry it out. The sooner you feel it, process it, and let it go, the sooner you can get on with your life.
Thanks brother. I actually am fine. I think I was waiting for this day so I could complete the full process. I may shed a tear tonight but not too many. I’m in such a healthier relationship now with someone who actually shows me a ton of affection and respect. Who knows if that lasts forever but it’s great for now and I’m going with the flow.
Can you text me
Huh? Me? Nah I’m good
Okay ✅
The sting is normal…you’ve invested a lot of time and effort into that person and you have 2 children to show for it. Just hope for the best when it comes to what kind of person he is, and be the supporter you’d want for your new situation. More love is normally a great thing, and as the cliche says, it takes a village.
Yes true. I really try. Tbh tho I can’t wait until I do not need to have any contact w her. It’s probably my ego but it’s just how I feel
Just always take the high road and smile they hate that
Smile at her or him or both? 😂
Both lol
lol copy
The more it seems you are happy when meeting them, smiling etc. the more your ex will work on trying to out do you in that department. The kids end up the winners in two happy homes.
I'd just let it go
The sting just means your human bro and that part of you that once was gets reopened in that moment. Scars heal but can get reopened if they’re hit/cut properly. Seems like you’re doing okay though! Process the emotions in a healthy manner. All love!
Thanks bud. I’m processing. I’m good. Haven’t met him yet. I swear, better not be jacked and 15 years younger. lol. There’s a good chance.
Separated/Papers - Jan 2024 Divorced - June 2024 Ex Dating - Feb 2025 Want to Move in - June 2025
The guy seems nice enough, but every time my daughter says “<name> did this/likes that/“ I cringe. I have 50/50 custody and get along okay with my ex, all things considered…. But it is tough.
Hang in there. Be kind. Be fair… and treat everyone the way you’d like to be treated/ like your girlfriend treated. Good luck!
Solid advice. Thank you. I plan to smile my best and go with the flow. Will be a learning curve whenever that comes. Worst part is that I’m type of guy that gets along with everyone. If he (or whomever becomes the serious one) likes sports and beers and outdoors there’s a chance I might innately be friends with him. I think though in this case I’m going to try to be cordial and not let myself be myself. Ha
Did your ex cheat on you physically or emotionally,by the timelines it looks like she had someone waiting on bat.
Not to be insulting but just asking.
No infidelity, thankfully…. We were not compatible with long term goals and she met him through a friend of a friend after we divorced. Infidelity would make things extremely hard to be friendly and agreeable.
Always stings when you think about what could have been