Yea, similar feelings here. She cheated and monkey branched while trying to keep me as a backup option in case it didn’t work out.
We have 2 kids together. Things are civil enough when it’s just her and I, but things are tense whenever her AP is around. We’ll never reconcile, and I try to minimize the time I have to interact with her.
I’ve tried several times, not to get back together, but to be friends. Every time she turns into a drain, coming to me for help and resources beyond co parenting. I’ve had to learn to let that fairytale go.
Same. If my partner is single, they also begin to try and get back with me slowly and inevitably freak out when I set firm boundaries. Eventually I’ve given up on trying to be anything more than minimally civil and then absent.
Get back together? No. Certainly not. The nails all firmly reside in that coffin.
Become friends? Absolutely. No one benefits from us not getting along. Not us and certainly not our kids. Once the dust settled, we realized we get along really well if its only a few times a week in short bursts. I like her boyfriend. He's cool. He's not an affair partner or anything, so there's nothing like that between us. We actually all went to the beach this summer. It was nice because my girlfriend and I could go out and do stuff and my ex and her bf could hang out with the kids and vice versa. Really made a nice vacation for everyone.
Admittedly, we both had to do the work to maintain a friendship after divorce. Like any relationship, both people need to help it succeed. She helps me out, I help her out, we're there for the kids 100%. There definitely are bumps in the road, but we're almost 3 years out from divorce at this point, so we've done a lot of good work ironing that out.
Yea this is wild haha. This guy has super superhuman mental health haha. His emotions are in check. Being close with your ex when both parties moved on with someone else is wild to me.
Its really not that big of a deal. Our divorce was amicable and its not like it ever blew up. After 18 years together, we just weren't the same anymore.
The divorce had been final for more than 2 years by then.
The separation meant we were done and that part of my life is boxed up, labeled and recycled. We’re coparents and I do everything to show my kids how a healthy man shows up, owns his stuff and shows love.
No and never will. I have 1955 days until my youngest is 18 and I'll never have to deal with her again. If you look up narcissist in the dictionary, it has a picture of her.
Man next to mine right? Mine’s the most narcissistic grandiose person I’ve ever met. Still living with and forcing our kids to be around the toothless meth-headed AP.
You both know that co-parenting - indeed, parenting - doesn't end when the child turns eighteen, right? College, weddings, grandkids, crises. I will be their parent for all of it. I will do everything I can to support them, and I'll be happy for any support my ex gives them.
I'm not counting days and I'm not pouting about what's fair, because I'm not a kindergartener, I'm a parent.
LOL no. Got divorced in Jan 2025. She texts me randomly all the time I never respond. She comes to drop off mail(like junk that I told her to throw out when I moved out), bring my son random nonsense, she just won't go away. My son goes out to meet her I'd never let her in and she knows it. It was over it long before the court got involved, it was more of a weight off my shoulders than anything. I'm not sure if she is with somebody but I'm supportive she does find somebody. So my son doesn't have to take care of her. Just don't want him stuck with the loser, hopefully she can trick some other poor sucker. There is no chance of reconcilation. She is nothing more than a legal nuisance to me not unlike taxes. Except soon I'll no longer have to deal with her unlike taxes we all have to deal with forever.
I was hoping to have an amiable reconciliation after a while... At the start I was even dreaming that maybe we could even get back together? Or at least be friendly co-parents. Show up together at hockey games sort of Hallmark movie BS.
I've gotten over the cheating with time and therapy where I could have at least been friendly... but I drew the line after realizing how callous/neglectful she was with him during her turn of custody. I refuse to interact with her any more than I need to do for the kid and our custody schedule. I don't care how much time will pass or if she "gets better" as her family puts it.
I have a much warmer relationship to her family right now, as they stepped up a lot to care for him during his time with his mom.
Yeah. Took a little over a year. We split because we realized we were making each other miserable so it's not like there was an affair or abuse or anything so it was easier to overcome than it is for some folks. I went through several stages of hatred, grief, regret, loneliness, bitterness, and depression. I had friends who helped balance me out as best they could and helped keep me from making dumb decisions like trying to get back together with her or treating her poorly. After about a year of the rollercoaster of emotions I finally found peace with myself and was able to interact with her like a friend and co-parent rather than an enemy or villain. She had a similar trajectory so we both ended up being able to be around each other with no issues at that point. I'm on year two of the divorce and we chat like old friends.
No. If that's what you meant by reconcile then I apologize for misunderstanding. We've reconciled in that we're friends again, but we aren't good for each other at this point in our lives and getting back together would be a poor idea.
After she tried to take the vast majority of time with our daughter and make me a weekend warrior dad... no; there is no forgiving or coming back from that. I fought hard for 50/50 which won me the most amazing relationship with my little girl while simultaneously driving a wedge between mother and daughter.
I am civil when we have to interact but her issues about needing to be in control forced me to take her back to mediation after 3 years because she was demanding a parenting schedule which was nor physically possible to achieve. I have no respect for the woman and too much self-respect to ever think of re-friending her.
She is someone I used to know and will always share a child with. Nothing more.
Nope, no chance at reconciliation for the foreseeable future. I found out a month or so after the ink dried that she had very specific expectations about how divorced life would go for both of us, and my attempts to live my own life were not welcomed, so we've been pretty frosty since then.
Left me for some dude she met playing Pokémon go. He divorced his wife, and she divorced me. 4 kids.
No, we will never reconcile. We’re civil though.
Yea, similar feelings here. She cheated and monkey branched while trying to keep me as a backup option in case it didn’t work out.
We have 2 kids together. Things are civil enough when it’s just her and I, but things are tense whenever her AP is around. We’ll never reconcile, and I try to minimize the time I have to interact with her.
We were fine until… get this… I got remarried
Yea can’t be close if someone has another partner
I’ve tried several times, not to get back together, but to be friends. Every time she turns into a drain, coming to me for help and resources beyond co parenting. I’ve had to learn to let that fairytale go.
Same. If my partner is single, they also begin to try and get back with me slowly and inevitably freak out when I set firm boundaries. Eventually I’ve given up on trying to be anything more than minimally civil and then absent.
Depends on what you mean by "reconciled"
Get back together? No. Certainly not. The nails all firmly reside in that coffin.
Become friends? Absolutely. No one benefits from us not getting along. Not us and certainly not our kids. Once the dust settled, we realized we get along really well if its only a few times a week in short bursts. I like her boyfriend. He's cool. He's not an affair partner or anything, so there's nothing like that between us. We actually all went to the beach this summer. It was nice because my girlfriend and I could go out and do stuff and my ex and her bf could hang out with the kids and vice versa. Really made a nice vacation for everyone.
Admittedly, we both had to do the work to maintain a friendship after divorce. Like any relationship, both people need to help it succeed. She helps me out, I help her out, we're there for the kids 100%. There definitely are bumps in the road, but we're almost 3 years out from divorce at this point, so we've done a lot of good work ironing that out.
lmao I would never choose to vacation with my ex you guys are wild. All about being amicable for the sake of the kids but this seems a bridge too far
Yea this is wild haha. This guy has super superhuman mental health haha. His emotions are in check. Being close with your ex when both parties moved on with someone else is wild to me.
I'm just not into my ex wife like that anymore.
Its not like we were in the same hotel room or anything.
I broke up with someone for this reason… thought it was weird. Everyone’s different though. If it ends amicably, I guess it’s possible.
Its really not that big of a deal. Our divorce was amicable and its not like it ever blew up. After 18 years together, we just weren't the same anymore.
The divorce had been final for more than 2 years by then.
The separation meant we were done and that part of my life is boxed up, labeled and recycled. We’re coparents and I do everything to show my kids how a healthy man shows up, owns his stuff and shows love.
No and never will. I have 1955 days until my youngest is 18 and I'll never have to deal with her again. If you look up narcissist in the dictionary, it has a picture of her.
Man next to mine right? Mine’s the most narcissistic grandiose person I’ve ever met. Still living with and forcing our kids to be around the toothless meth-headed AP.
Around 5100 days here. I’m looking forward to that day as well. All while not rushing my kids’ childhoods.
You both know that co-parenting - indeed, parenting - doesn't end when the child turns eighteen, right? College, weddings, grandkids, crises. I will be their parent for all of it. I will do everything I can to support them, and I'll be happy for any support my ex gives them.
I'm not counting days and I'm not pouting about what's fair, because I'm not a kindergartener, I'm a parent.
Hell to the no No nooooooo!
We were never combative. Her new man has caused some tension, cause he didn’t like us talking. She and I were always better friends than lovers
I don’t think any new man would like their girl talking with their ex and being close
He was sleeping with her while we were married, so he can get over it
LOL no. Got divorced in Jan 2025. She texts me randomly all the time I never respond. She comes to drop off mail(like junk that I told her to throw out when I moved out), bring my son random nonsense, she just won't go away. My son goes out to meet her I'd never let her in and she knows it. It was over it long before the court got involved, it was more of a weight off my shoulders than anything. I'm not sure if she is with somebody but I'm supportive she does find somebody. So my son doesn't have to take care of her. Just don't want him stuck with the loser, hopefully she can trick some other poor sucker. There is no chance of reconcilation. She is nothing more than a legal nuisance to me not unlike taxes. Except soon I'll no longer have to deal with her unlike taxes we all have to deal with forever.
I was hoping to have an amiable reconciliation after a while... At the start I was even dreaming that maybe we could even get back together? Or at least be friendly co-parents. Show up together at hockey games sort of Hallmark movie BS.
I've gotten over the cheating with time and therapy where I could have at least been friendly... but I drew the line after realizing how callous/neglectful she was with him during her turn of custody. I refuse to interact with her any more than I need to do for the kid and our custody schedule. I don't care how much time will pass or if she "gets better" as her family puts it.
I have a much warmer relationship to her family right now, as they stepped up a lot to care for him during his time with his mom.
Friends? No.
Friendly? Yes.
Honestly I'd rather cut it off than ever...reconcile.
Yeah. Took a little over a year. We split because we realized we were making each other miserable so it's not like there was an affair or abuse or anything so it was easier to overcome than it is for some folks. I went through several stages of hatred, grief, regret, loneliness, bitterness, and depression. I had friends who helped balance me out as best they could and helped keep me from making dumb decisions like trying to get back together with her or treating her poorly. After about a year of the rollercoaster of emotions I finally found peace with myself and was able to interact with her like a friend and co-parent rather than an enemy or villain. She had a similar trajectory so we both ended up being able to be around each other with no issues at that point. I'm on year two of the divorce and we chat like old friends.
Are you guys a couple again?
No. If that's what you meant by reconcile then I apologize for misunderstanding. We've reconciled in that we're friends again, but we aren't good for each other at this point in our lives and getting back together would be a poor idea.
After she tried to take the vast majority of time with our daughter and make me a weekend warrior dad... no; there is no forgiving or coming back from that. I fought hard for 50/50 which won me the most amazing relationship with my little girl while simultaneously driving a wedge between mother and daughter.
I am civil when we have to interact but her issues about needing to be in control forced me to take her back to mediation after 3 years because she was demanding a parenting schedule which was nor physically possible to achieve. I have no respect for the woman and too much self-respect to ever think of re-friending her.
She is someone I used to know and will always share a child with. Nothing more.
Nope, no chance at reconciliation for the foreseeable future. I found out a month or so after the ink dried that she had very specific expectations about how divorced life would go for both of us, and my attempts to live my own life were not welcomed, so we've been pretty frosty since then.
She has made hints that we will and should, but I have no intention. She has been nasty this entire time.
My first wife and I did after 6 months. I left her for cheating. Took her back. Found out she was still cheating.