How to tie shoelaces
  • 1219 points antagon96

    Imagine twisting your ankle in this.

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    374 points froginbog

    Or having something heavy land on it

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    224 points LadnavIV

    Well that will be handy for the surgeons when they need to screw your bones back together.

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    53 points TheEthanHB

    Or needing to take off your shoes in a hurry

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    8 points TurnkeyLurker

    Just find that angle ankle grinder again

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    27 points RooneyD

    Very safe, very human

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    5 points deliciousadness

    Such a great reference. Haven’t thought of those clips in ages.

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    40 points Dracofear

    I will say it would probably look pretty good on some alt/punk/goth/etc type boots. But yeah, heavy stuff landing on it would be awful.

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    40 points Goose1963

    I would think just walking a few steps in them would be awful. Going up steps, even more painful.

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    8 points Glad_Contest_8014

    Just make the tongue into a steel plate. But yeah, the entire concept is pretty bad.

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    10 points sassychubzilla

    She'll be very sorry if she works in construction. Somehow I doubt it, even knowing the stupid ways people flaunt OSHA standards.

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    6 points hahanawmsayin

    * flout

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    5 points blandmanband

    But it looks badass

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    22 points rdogg4

    It looks dumbass to me

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    6 points henrytm82

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    2 points blandmanband

    Yes.

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    18 points Forgot_Password_Dude

    Or going through TSA

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    24 points iRedding

    Positive note won’t trip on untied lace.

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    11 points LumpusKrampus

    Yes you will, those aren't locking nuts.

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    7 points iRedding

    And Shoes on forever.

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    8 points CyberNinja23

    So… you’re immortal then.

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    4 points AssertingCargo

    Iron Maiden did tell us to "die with your boots on" so this is one way to guarantee that outcome I suppose 🤷‍♀️

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    3 points Bigd4mnher0

    Yup. Gonna need some cotter pins through the bolts to keep those on. That's the obvious solution. /s

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    2 points kelariy

    I was thinking that if you just replace the bolts with rivets, you won’t need to worry about the nuts falling off.

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    2 points finnishinsider

    Locktite sold separately.....

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    10 points elbunts

    Or having to take off the boot after you messed up the threads

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  • 425 points thegingermullet

    Going to be an absolute pain in the ass to take those off at the end of the day.

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    262 points junkman21

    Just grind them off with your angle grinder. No big whoop.

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    217 points holograham

    Ankle grinder

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    27 points Peek_e

    Get out

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    17 points LiveCourage334

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    5 points napkin41

    Just keep a box of bolts by the front door and your angle grinder where your boots are, so easy.

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    20 points Dickie_downer

    Its going to be a pain in general walking in it

    The reason shoelaces work are they are FLEXIBLE. You’re going to absolutely do a number on your surface veins wearing this shit, and destroy your foot

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    14 points Gobbyer

    I bet the nuts would just come off on their own after day of walking, they are loose.

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    6 points avanti8

    "Shoes off inside please." "Can't, the only tools I could find in your garage were metric."

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    5 points Thundersnow100

    They would probably come off as well as the spray-on shoes from Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs

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    4 points fatmanstan123

    Put some loktite red on them when he's not paying attention.

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    3 points John-P0rter

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    9 points poop_monster35

    Do NOT wear these to the airport.

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  • 140 points derpferd

    The thing I like about laces is the slack they allow for my foot to bend.

    That may or may not be a matter of concern, what the hell do I know

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  • 344 points danobeck

    I bet when you come up in conversation your parents change the subject.

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    47 points turkeybacondaddy

    I actually lol’d at this comment.

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    36 points bitsy88

    Me with this phrase

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    5 points terrorsofthevoid

    Put it back, right this instant. 

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    5 points bitsy88

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    7 points RedoftheEvilDead

    r/anewfavoritephrase

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  • 143 points XxFezzgigxX

    I mean, stupid idea aside, why wouldn’t you just use the proper length bolt?

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    32 points rilesmcjiles

    That wouldn't be as stupid.

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    15 points Daatsit

    Yeah, that was my thought too

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    18 points YewEhVeeInbound

    With some wingnuts, that shit might be functional. Dangerous, but functional

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    15 points Megalesios

    One of the main advantages shoelaces have is they are soft and conform to the curve of you foot.

    These....don't.

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    5 points YewEhVeeInbound

    They don't have to be completely tight. Agreed I would never recommend this to anybody but purely from a functional standpoint it's technically possible.

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    9 points Bourbon-n-Bandaids

    How else would they fuck up the threads while simultaneously fucking up the finish in two places on their brand new boots.

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    9 points FungadooFred

    Or zip ties

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    7 points Pressed_Sunflowers

    Oo zip ties would go hard.

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    3 points BlackLung223

    I go through shoes and laces like crazy installing flooring, can confirm zip ties work awesome when you loose a lace on a job

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    3 points Possible_Bee_4140

    Cause then you wouldn’t fuck up the threads, make these harder to take off, and create a sharp edge that will leave nice metal splinters in your fingers.

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  • 47 points LSP141

    Thank god for battery powered angle grinders, or this would be so much more annoying!

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    16 points mycoffeeiswarm

    Was that angle grinders or ankle grinders?

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    5 points LSP141

    Aayyy

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  • 26 points Nukalixir

    Bolting your foot into a fucking boot is a level of stupid. Using a power saw to cut part of the bolts off while wearing them is a level of stupid entirely unto itself.

    This person's going places. Not sure if it's the hospital or the morgue, but they're going there sooner rather than later!

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    5 points BrightNooblar

    Notice the fucking gouges on the boot where they skipped a bit.

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  • 29 points VocaVox39

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  • 7 points Sonnydeights

    The amount of turns you gotta to do to get in and out of those... no thanks.

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    6 points Important_Sound_8718

    Clearly you should use a power screwdriver and socket!

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  • 8 points N0rrix

    it kinda looks cool but that has to feel uncomfortable

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  • 29 points Winter-Explanation-5

    They DO look cool, but that's highly impractical. Seems like something AI would tell you to do.

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  • 18 points Happy-Piglet5793

    Now let's see how painful it would be to walk with that crap

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  • 11 points elkbond

    And if they aren’t locking nuts you will be doing them up every 5 minutes!

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    6 points Iloveherthismuch

    Should have just welded the nut, whilst wearing the boot. No other way. Lets fight.

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  • 5 points Cartire2

    Guy made the first ever "self-tripping" boots. Gonna bump into a pebble and snap his ankle on the way down.

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  • 5 points Kaffe-Mumriken

    I love how they cut up the boot top sole with the grinder.

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  • 7 points CaribouCarter

    Non-non-mutilating upper construction. 10/10 would recommend alternate solution.

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  • 5 points BootsOfProwess

    looks like a trip to the podiatrist.

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  • 6 points Responsible_Ad_8628

    Man, that boot is so screwed.

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  • 3 points Jamiemac745

    Using a grinder like that so close to your foot dearie me

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  • 3 points Voltasoyle

    Forgot to weld it.

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  • 3 points Ad_Vomitus

    Say good bye to your metatarsal. Who needs em right?

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  • 3 points elbunts

    Definitely not for working an 8 hr shift

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  • 3 points hematite2

    Just use a shorter bolt! Or I guess then the engagement bait would be too short.

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  • 3 points Mysterious-Turnip916

    Should start calling it an ankle grinder

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  • 3 points sk8zero0619

    I used zip ties once for a few days. Worked pretty good

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  • 3 points -_SUPERMAN_-

    Let’s take a 4 1/2 inch to our boot, with our foot in it. Smart lad we have here

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  • 5 points Lone-Frequency

    What a great way to break your ankle/lose a foot!

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  • 6 points Consistent-Local2825

    Paramedics looking for a 10mm socket when they need to remove the shoe.

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    3 points Mediocre_Daikon6935

    I’m a paramedic, not a mechanic.

    I wouldn’t even try. You made your choice 

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  • 4 points OffByNone_

    Sweet! Now, take them off...

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  • 4 points Iclimbbigtrees

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    6 points AlchemicallyAccurate

    Pretty scary that he did this when he was a kid and never got to take these off. You ever seen how in 18th century China, they would have little girls wear small shoes for years and years while they grew up so their feet would stay small? And they would always end up looking so gross and contorted. Imagine what abominations we would find under these spray on shoes.

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  • 2 points incunabula001

    Totally Human Friendly!

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  • 2 points junkman21

    See, now I'm going to try this with zip ties... I think I even have some reusable ones!

    Stay tuned for that video. Remember to smash that subscribe button, fam.

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  • 2 points reddit_niwasi

    Great 👍🏼 so u ll never have to remove them till death

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  • 2 points Zero_Zeta_

    Terrible execution, but kind of a cool design idea. Not for those boots, but a more industrial/pseudo armor style of boot I can see having bolts as laces. Probably a hidden zipper or side strapes to actually get in and out of it.

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  • 2 points Lovelyindeed

    This makes me feel very claustrophobic

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  • 2 points PatchesMaps

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  • 2 points DanTheAdequate

    That idea is just the worst. 

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  • 2 points ReaperSound

    Stupid to be WEARING the boot as you grind off the ends of the bolts... if that cause on his pant leg they'd have an interesting holiday hospital bill.

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  • 2 points notveryhidden

    Not the sparks 💀💀

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  • 2 points Vkardash

    DIwhy just keeps getting dumber and dumber

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  • 2 points Humble_Examination27

    Stupid

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  • 2 points No_Confidence3974

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  • 2 points aflamingcookie

    Why are there no screw washers on each side? I mean, it's a silly concept but at least make the fastening somewhat reliable... just saying.

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  • 2 points GreatBigJerk

    Luckily, they just stuffed the shoe and jeans instead of trying to use an angle grinder next to an actual person's foot/leg.

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  • 2 points Key-Employee3584

    That's a waste. You're supposed to sharpen them up like the spike wheel nuts on all those aggro 18 wheelers.

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  • 2 points owo1215

    weld it i dare you

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  • 2 points WinuxNomacs

    Dude forgets they’re on and suddenly gets yanked through a wall by an mri machine while walking through a hospital corridor

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  • 2 points Run-B-RUUUUN

    This looks extremely dangerous

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  • 2 points livens

    "Honey, have you seen my 3/8ths? I'm going to be late for work!"

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  • 2 points CrowTalons

    So...how do you take them off? 🐌

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  • 2 points LocalLumberJ0hn

    The audacity, Ween went out of their way to write a song at the last minute about tying your shoes and this is how you repay them for their efforts?

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  • 2 points Chumms101

    Not mentioning the danger of using that cut disk on your feet.

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  • 2 points Constant-Still-8443

    Sounds like a great way to crush your foot by taking a single step.

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  • 2 points wheljam

    ...yeah, if you're an Autobot or Decepticon maybe

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  • 2 points tlk0153

    That’s what we call agony of de-feet

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  • 2 points Just_Ear_2953

    I love that you can see where the grinder damaged the leather in 2 spots

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  • 2 points RamblinTexan1907

    Looks like something I’d expect a Raider to wear in fallout

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  • 2 points lincelynx

    must be heavy af

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  • 2 points Airwolfhelicopter

    “Put your shoes on, we gotta go.”

    “Ok sure, one second.” ratcheting noises

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  • 2 points ThatHippieProf

    How get off?

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  • 2 points Altruist_Fox

    More like bolt shoelaces...

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  • 2 points deliciousadness

    Going through airport security legendary mode

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  • 2 points _-DirtyMike-_

    Doesn't even use washers...

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  • 2 points nb6635

    The top of your foot is going to be real sore and this shoe ain’t coming off easy.

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  • 2 points Terrible_Presumption

    Not a good idea.

    Buy slip-ons if you're too lazy to tie laces.

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  • 3 points 4StarDB

    You know.... ngl... i kinda fuck with it.

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  • 2 points TheOnlyRealAsshat

    It would cost you more to tie your shoes each time than the socks you were wearing.

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  • 2 points allthingskerri

    Imagine trying to take these off after a few drinks 😬

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  • 2 points Pukebox_Fandango

    yea, who needs those bones in the top of your foot? fuck em!

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  • 2 points throwawayfromPA1701

    This is just bait.

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  • 1 points IAmTheGingaNinja

    I guess I got soft hands

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  • 1 points Oil_Stained_Angel

    Oh shit i thought that was a real leg for a sec.

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  • 1 points Drewdiniskirino

    Bro those timbs fake as hell

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  • 1 points leisuresuitbruce

    They can't steal your Jordan's now!

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  • 1 points die-jarjar-die

    [ Removed by Reddit ]

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  • 1 points Longjumping-Wish2432

    TSA 's worst enemy

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  • 1 points OleksandrKyivskyi

    Shoelaces are gay, folks. Real men do whatever this is.

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  • 1 points FloydianSlip212

    screwy

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  • 1 points murmur70

    I would have put the nuts on the inside side of the shoe with the bolt head on the outside.

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  • 1 points ActualHunt2945

    Those boots bolt on or what?

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  • 1 points AnarchoBratzdoll

    Lately my shoes have been untying often when I'm taking the kids to daycare. So I love it

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  • 1 points HumanBelugaDiplomacy

    diCry

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  • 1 points Brandon39rus

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  • 1 points turdbugulars

    For dumbass’s to post about it.

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  • 1 points zacary2411

    1 Rock slips inside and its never leaving

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  • 1 points Vegetable-Debate-263

    This is a great way to bruise the hell out of your shins.

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  • 1 points holnessbob

    Imagine the blisters. One of the stupidest things I've ever seen

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  • 1 points Acceptable-Scale-176

    I hope Balenciaga doesnt see this

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  • 1 points Emergency-Shirt2208

    Best sub in the land. Makes me chuckle and gives me a break from reality.

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  • 1 points dargonmike1

    🤨

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  • 1 points StiffStickler

    THIS IS DUMB

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  • 1 points therealRustyZA

    Imagine coming home drunk at 3am and you can't remember where you left your spanner.

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  • 1 points MidoTheMii

    As much of an esthetic that is, there’s several impracticalities there…

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  • 1 points CocoonNapper

    I'm sure it's very comfortable

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  • 1 points IndependentParfait23

    Straight up some mad max shit right here

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  • 1 points TamedCrows

    Shoe braces

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  • 1 points D-lishus_Kofi

    T U F F

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  • 1 points westslexander

    Never mind they took away a bunch of the ankle flex

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  • 1 points whatsthataboutguy

    Wait until you see how they tie their pants

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  • 1 points zeptillian

    Are you shoelaces too comfortable and easy to use?

    We've go the solution for you!

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  • 1 points greenmachine11235

    Now they don't need metatarsal protective boots. 

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  • 1 points ultrafop

    Imagine that grinder slipping… pretty dumb to do this while wearing the shoes

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  • 1 points SvenTropics

    Someone was like, you know the problem with my work shoes. They're just too damn comfortable....

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  • 1 points Pipe-Time

    "Hey honey don't be mad at me but I zipcut my toes off making ragebait for reddit and I need you to take me to hospital"

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  • 1 points baddeafboy

    Yea right that would be most uncomfortable walking around

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  • 1 points Tr35on

    I Scandi approve it ✔️

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  • 1 points RevolutionaryFoot326

    Now try to get through a metal detector at the airport!

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  • 1 points Ok-Bobcat661

    Why use cheap shoelaces when you could use nuts and bolts and a grinder and 2 wrenches. And see how they go loose after a few minutes because of a lot of movement.

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  • 1 points Incendras

    Me: well.... he better at least cut the excess annnnnd there it is.

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  • 1 points TheSlyFox312

    For then you want to make putting your shoes on/off a 1000 times harder

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  • 1 points Kitchen-Purpose-6855

    I have a couple 8 inch boots with no speed hooks I’d like to do this to lol.

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  • 1 points dvd76

    For added security, I would have welded it!

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  • 1 points Agreeable_Poem_7278

    Congratulations on discovering a new way to trip over your own feet.

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  • 1 points fvckCrosshairs

    That’s the dumbest fucking idea I’ve seen in my life

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  • 1 points ShowGun901

    YoUr ShOeLaCe Is UnScReWeD!

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  • 1 points get-off-of-my-lawn

    This weekend on r/industrial lol

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  • 1 points henrytm82

    And then managed to damage the leather with the angle grinder. Nice job, dork.

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  • 1 points Silver-Amphibian7650

    Need some washers.

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  • 1 points NocturneInfinitum

    Fake nails and power tools together is a bad sign

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  • 1 points 8last

    As someone with foot problems my bones are hurting justing thinking about whatever weird pressure this is putting on your feet. It does look cool.

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  • 1 points Dangerous_Garden6384

    Obviously not a welder

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  • 1 points Uwuther-Pendwagon

    Managed to scratch the boot as well ffs

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  • 1 points Apprehensive_Row_807

    And, taking them off? This is sorta stupid

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  • 1 points rabbi420

    Are we pretending this was meant to be serious?

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  • 1 points Good_Amphibian_1318

    She's nuts!

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  • 1 points tntexplosivesltd

    Nobody commenting about using the angle grinder that close to your foot?

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  • 1 points Queasy-Grand3800

    “Hey bro, you gotta take your shoes off, the whole floor is carpeted.”

    “Ait hold on”

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  • 1 points NoMemory3726

    I like how they used a wrench to tighten even more even though you could have done by hand. I know the whole thing is stupid but that like some icing on the cake.

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  • 1 points salydra

    What could go wrong?

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  • 1 points Jay2Kaye

    ok now put them on.

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  • 1 points Slight-Narwhal-2953

    Still quicker than getting my kids to do their own

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  • 1 points galaxybuns

    but those are not laces

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