Sorry for the things I said after I ate all that ham.

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"Friendly and humorous reply" bot.

If you're looking for some fire disses, I highly recommend Homer's Iliad. I was shocked at the amount of smack talk in that 2,500+ year-old story. If you don't want to read through the whole thing "just" for some fire disses, look up Hector's speeches to Paris. (Some limited context: Paris, a prince of Troy, went to Greece and stole a king's wife. That king and his Greeks waged war on Troy, and this story starts after nine years of that war.)

My favorite, from Book III, this speech from Hector to Paris, his brother (emphasis mine):

Sinful Paris beautiful to look on, seducer and deceiver of women, I wish you had never been born, or had died before you wed. Such is my wish indeed, far better than disgrace us all, an object of men’s contempt. The long-haired Greeks [their enemies in this war] must laugh out loud, and cry that our champion was chosen only for beauty, devoid of strength and courage. Was it not you who with your close comrades sailed the deep in your sea-going ships, mixed with foreigners and brought back a fair woman from a far-off land, the daughter of fierce spearmen, a source of woe to your father, city, nation; pleasing your enemies, shaming yourself? And dare you not face Menelaus, beloved of Ares, now? You would find what kind of man it is whose fair wife you stole. Your lyre will not help you, nor will those gifts of Aphrodite, your looks and your flowing locks, when he lays you in the dust. But the Trojans [their countrymen] lack spirit or you would have sunk beneath a shower of stones by now, given all your sinful ways.’

Translation: Your birth was regretful, you are nothing but a burden, our enemies laugh at us, and if our countrymen had just a little bit more ambition, they would have stoned you to death already for the curse of your existence.

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Or when the dwarves dilved too deep

Tolkien Dilf was the best South Park character.

Though he rather wished he used the historical plural of dillows

I’m rolling a dilf elf for that +2 cha bonus next campaign.

Have you heard of the High Dilves?

Oooh, give me some of that dilven goodness 😩

Can confirm with a Best Friend who is a General Manager and while I work elsewhere, I do tend to swing by to help and our interactions are about on this par. A lot more screeching though, I love me a good midnight screech.

They were roommates business partners!

"Bolbo Raggins donned his dilven mail shirt, the strongest material ever to man the great and terrible grills of the baleful back yard, and knew in his heart that he was chosen, not by chance or a higher power, but by the kind of blinding necessity that drives men to madness and countries to their graves."

Or something idk

To be fair to her and them, she normally and clearly handles cases that are obviously meant to be from companies big enough to have an HR department or have a stake in at least appearing professional. This whole thing is giving either small business or start up, which have very different social and power dynamics... I'm pretty sure she'd essentially go with something along the lines of "Well, she's the boss and you're both fine with this, so technically it's fine? But also, be very prepared for this to mess up your personal relationship down the road, and if you ever want to expand and grow... This is going to hinder that."