People?
  • 1435 points IReviewFakeAlbums

    My toddler was the other way. He thought that “Beyond Meat” came from a mythical animal called “Beyond.” He even drew a picture of it one time. It was like a unicorn crossed with an electric eel

    parent
    739 points EstarriolStormhawk

    That sounds like a super fucking rad animal. 

    parent root
    139 points Atlas421

    Rad as in radioactive?

    parent root
    94 points Realistic_Specific51

    Its probably fueled by the power of rainbows and electricity, so maybe

    parent root
    2 points ArmadilloNo9494

    Now I feel old. And I'm 16.

    parent root
    149 points Saxton_Hale32

    Beyonds are a fucking sick name. They're also the name for a very interesting phenomenon in Jorge Joestar, which is a batshit insane JoJo's Bizarre Adventure novel but it's pretty cool

    parent root
    43 points ubormaci

    Holy shit, Jorge Joestar mention in the wild. (And it's not the 36 Kars, for a change.) Criminally underrated book, that one.

    parent root
    7 points sample_text_01

    also, Beyond Netero from HxH

    parent root
    64 points TheHolyPopo

    Did he by chance watch Adventure Time. That sounds like a Rainicorn, lmao

    parent root
    26 points SocranX

    Speaking of Adventure Time, there was one episode that repeatedly mentions a character named Meat Man who you could extract meat from without killing him.

    "Hey Finn, you awake?"

    "Huh?"

    "I had a dream about Meat Man." Distant, haunted stare "I think I'm gonna stop eating Meat Man."

    parent root
    5 points Chucknasty_17

    So Jake had a dream about Agni from Fire Punch?

    parent root
    2 points ITookYourChickens

    What a fucked up series, I still regret reading it sometimes

    parent root
    31 points IReviewFakeAlbums

    We haven’t gotten to Adventure Time just yet but now I kinda wanna watch it. Peppa Pig and Muppet Babies are the current clubhouse favorites

    parent root
    25 points TheHolyPopo

    Definitely try an episode or two before showing the young one, if they're still on Peppa, it's geared a bit towards older kids. Lots of butt jokes and fighting, lol, but it's a very fun show.

    parent root
    20 points MoonyIsTired

    it's also one of those shows that starts more episodic and then a few seasons later oops all plot

    parent root
    13 points IReviewFakeAlbums

    Butt jokes and fighting are kinda his MO at the moment but I will definitely screen it before diving headfirst in hahaha

    parent root
    98 points Kazinam

    That's so cool, I wanna eat beyond meat now

    parent root
    6 points moneyh8r_two

    That sounds kinda like a loong (Chinese dragon), or at least some depictions.

    parent root
    4 points Local_Surround8686

    I need a pic lol

    parent root
    6 points steampunkunicorn01

    Can your toddler create all the animals in the future?

    parent root
    2 points Dastankbeets1

    Kebab comes from kebab animal.

    parent root
    1 points The_OG_upgoat

    The mythical steak beast.

    parent root
    3 points GalaxyPowderedCat

    What does beyond look like?

    parent root
    8 points IReviewFakeAlbums

    A unicorn crossed with an eel

    parent root
    -19 points Hemeietinorej

    The Beyond-now thats an apex predator on the food chain

    parent root
    12 points Hazeely

    Bot

    parent root
    2 points the-real-macs

    u/SpambotWatchdog blacklist

    parent root
  • 649 points smotired

    do NOT pork the pig

    parent
    326 points Orreos

    straight up “porkin’ it”. and by “it”, haha, well. let’s justr say. My pig

    parent root
    106 points Korblox101

    First one of these that actually sounds like a serious innuendo

    parent root
    55 points AWrongPerson

    Yeah I cranked my hog today too

    parent root
    15 points Uberguuy

    Mr. Cameron, we discussed this.

    parent root
    64 points bookhead714

    That’s all, folks!

    parent root
    33 points VFiddly

    who up porking they pig

    parent root
    11 points BetterKev

    Porky Pig has had a rough life.

    parent root
    18 points mugguffen

    didnt the UK prime minister do that idk why its not okay if he can

    parent root
    7 points Every-Switch2264

    Not the current one. I think it was Cameron who was accused of porking a pig head

    parent root
  • 290 points FrancisWolfgang

    That child: I can excuse cannibalism but I draw the line an animal cruelty!

    parent
    28 points HamHockShortDock

    You can excuse Cannibalism??

    parent root
    20 points Intelligent_Slip_849

    A three year old can!

    parent root
  • 148 points VoidStareBack

    Please do not the pig.

    parent
  • 400 points LawZoe

    You pork ONE pig...

    parent
    269 points MathematicianMajor

    ...and then they make you prime minister?

    parent root
    68 points spawnmorezerglings

    I don't even know whether you are talking about Cameron or Johnson...

    parent root
    19 points InternetUserAgain

    huh

    parent root
    76 points 72111100

    it's a reference to the fact British Prime Minister David Cameron is rumoured (probably not true) to have placed his genitals inside the mouth of a dead pig as part of an initiation at Oxford

    parent root
    15 points LuftHANSa_755

    huh

    parent root
    1 points smittenWithKitten211

    That raises even more questions

    parent root
    35 points The_mystery4321

    It's a reference to a Black Mirror episode

    parent root
    49 points VoidStareBack

    I think it's the other way around though, he had to pork the pig BECAUSE he was the Prime Minister.

    Or maybe there were two black mirror episodes about the prime minister fucking pigs.

    parent root
    11 points AllHailTheApple

    Why was THAT the first episode? I never watched more after it but I will go back

    parent root
    8 points KermitingMurder

    Probably shock factor

    parent root
    4 points Mission_Fart9750

    It was the other way round. He was already PM. 

    parent root
  • 80 points FoldingLady

    "When we eat people, it's called Soylent Green."

    parent
  • 115 points waitedforg0d0t

    hey it's this exact Calvin and Hobbes

    https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTnU-7nQlLUNwFxZB2lVunt6_N_4ZtYNKDN0g&s

    parent
    97 points Pheehelm

    Better image quality: https://featureassets.gocomics.com/assets/9c3b2870df960131725e005056a9545d?optimizer=image&width=1200&quality=85

    parent root
    56 points burlapguy

    There really is a relevant Calvin and Hobbes for everything and I’m glad to see it getting the attention it deserves 

    parent root
    9 points Linhasxoc

    I was hoping someone would link this

    parent root
    2 points Pochel

    My thoughts exactly!

    parent root
  • 48 points CrayonWithdrawal

    Second kid may have played HayDay because you can pork pigs in that game

    parent
    16 points thyfles

    "pork" them in what sense?

    parent root
    43 points CrayonWithdrawal

    When pigs get really fat, you put them in a sauna. They come out thinner and you get pork

    parent root
  • 28 points Not_today_mods

    pork the pig

    So like how you get bacon in Hay Day?

    parent
    10 points htmlcoderexe

    Shit I remember this comic someone made like at least a decade ago making a joke about exactly this kind of game

    It was something like first a drawing of a screenshot of a browser farming type game listing animals like "chicken, gives 🥚x1 once a day, cow, gives 🥛X2 once a day, pig, gives 🥓X2 once a day" and then the dude goes like "hold on, don't pigs give bacon like only once per pig?" and then a panel with a pig with a surgery scar and a piece of bacon walking up to the guy saying "sorry boss only one bacon today..."

    Edit: I think this might be it: https://i.imgur.com/lgujXMN.jpeg

    Watermark says 2009... wtf, that's old

    parent root
  • 22 points Zaynara

    when he really believed you are what you eat

    parent
  • 18 points JonhLawieskt

    Tender is the Flesh moment

    parent
  • 13 points tarwatirno

    "Porking the pig" sure sounds like something politicians do though.

    parent
  • 12 points Dark_Storm_98

    Me at first: Aww, this sounds like an adorable child

    Me at the end of page 1: [Visibly uncomfortable]

    parent
  • 6 points AllHailTheApple

    Second one is just how hay day works

    parent
  • 6 points outer_spec

    I’m imagining “porking the pig” like when you cut a slice off a loaf of bread. Because nobody eats a whole pig’s worth of meat at once.

    That or it opens its mouth wide like a snake and a fucking slab of ham extrudes out

    parent
  • 15 points frikilinux2

    I mean I don't do cannibalism but there are people in this world that ....

    And the cow didn't do anything to you.

    parent
    48 points Infamous-Rutabaga-50

    It’s okay to eat some humans because they’re the only species that’s capable of sin. It’s never okay to eat animals because they’re all innocent. Follow me for more great ethics tips!

    parent root
    17 points Aware_Tree1

    Tell that to dolphins. I’m certain they could know sin

    parent root
    18 points Infamous-Rutabaga-50

    “But Bender, dolphins are intelligent!”

    “Not this one! He blew all his money on instant lottery tickets.”

    parent root
    1 points YawningDodo

    Dolphins know nothing but sin.

    parent root
    5 points Emergency-Twist7136

    Some animals are definitely capable of sin and would greatly be offended if you doubted them on that point.

    Like, geese and swans put in real effort to be fucking assholes, have some respect

    parent root
    4 points SorowFame

    Geese and swans were created to be utter bastards though, it’s not really sin when they’re just fulfilling their purpose

    parent root
  • 4 points No-Supermarket-6065

    This poster is Calvin's mom from Calvin and Hobbes

    parent
  • 3 points Puzzleboxed

    This is just a Calvin and Hobbes comic

    parent
  • 3 points Miami_Mice2087

    scornful 3-y-old how freaking cute

    parent
  • 2 points dramatic_exit_49

    Pluribus arse morality. respect,

    parent
  • 2 points Naive_Location5611

    My youngest saw sriracha tofu at Trader Joe’s and wanted me to buy the “dragon meat.” She did not like “dragon meat.” 

    As a preschooler, one of my older kids told me that humans are made of “meat and bones.” She wasn’t wrong but it does make strangers at Target uncomfortable to be told they’re made of “meat.” Flesh, yes. Meat… sort of implies they’re food. 

    parent
  • 5 points clown_utopia

    Kids don't like the idea that we eat the gentle animals they're taught to love and care about. It's fucked up that we both do that, and also teach them that some people, persons, individuals with personalities, are not actually "supposed" to be cared about.

    parent
  • 1 points Reeeeeeee3eeeeeeee

    Their little brother saw this music video

    parent
  • 1 points Bromelia_and_Bismuth

    And then he porks the pig.

    parent
  • 1 points bensully1990

    I’ve invented a device called Burger on the Go.

    parent
  • 1 points Zealousideal-Steak82

    why buy the pig when you only need the pork

    parent
  • 1 points AkumaDayo777

    DO NOT THE PIG !!

    parent
  • 1 points Ze_Bri-0n

    Ah yes, the Demon Barber of Preskett Kindergarten. 

    parent
  • -2 points Kenorenis

    Plot twist: Soylent green is back on the menu kids

    parent
    3 points SpambotWatchdog

    Grrrr. u/Kenorenis has been previously identified as a spambot. Please do not allow them to karma farm here!

    Woof woof, I'm a bot created by u/the-real-macs to help watch out for spambots! (Don't worry, I don't bite.\)

    parent root
  • Hacker News
    • Top
    • Best
    • New
    • Ask
    • Show
    • Jobs
  • beta Hugging Face
    • Posts
  • Reddit
    • r/programming
    • r/technology
    • r/science
    • r/news
    • r/gaming