This might not be the right place to ask this, In that case I am very sorry for wasting everyone‘s time.

I’m in a small fandom which doesn’t have many cosplayers, especially for the one specific character. The ones I’ve seen are just so pretty and they look so magical, both in terms of their costumes and just the way they look. When I look at myself I just feel like crying.

How do I deal with this?

  • Seconding everyone else but I’m also here to remind you, as a veteran cosplayer, that all the impossibly gorgeous cosplayers you see don’t actually look like that. Part of cosplay is selling an illusion; it’s not “I rolled out of bed” play! Every single one of those beautiful cosplayers you see online is wearing an amount of makeup that looks crusty irl and is approaching drag territory, has all sorts of trick poses and photography to emphasize what they want you to see and minimize what you don’t, is probably wearing shapewear, and is almost definitely using some form of filter or photo editing. If you had that level of makeup on, a good photographer, and an hour of running your pics through PrettyUp, even the most average looking person would look magical and beautiful and perfect.

    I do all of this shit myself to craft an image that I want to create; I’m average looking as hell, approaching middle age, and kinda chubby, but by the time I put all of the everything on, you’d have no idea. It might also help you mentally to do what I do and instead of trying to convince everyone that this (cosplay) is what you actually look like, embrace the fakery and the effort it takes. Hell yeah I’m covered in drag levels of everything and doing high effort photography! It’s part of my art!

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    This, so much this! Embrace the theatrics! I see so many cosplayer who put an insane amount of work into their clothes and props completely ignoring makeup and photography. To me that's like running a marathon in under 3 hours just to stop a kilometer before the finish line. It's the same in real life really. My cousin told me the other day that's she's low-key jealous that I always look so fresh and pretty. Well I told her that's because you only see me twice a year at special occasions that I prep for 😅 without my combination of eye mask and layers of bloody expensive makeup you'd see the extend of my under eye shadows and think different 😅

    Edit: OP I just stalked your profile just to check how realistic my advice is. Because let's be honest, it's always easier if the face you work with is naturally symetric ie conventionally pretty. Damn you have an insanely good face and skin. Honestly all you need is a little practice and good products and you will absolutely look perfect! I really recommend you to take a class in photography and a class in theater make-up. With those skills under your belt you'll be unstoppable.

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    This ! Whenever I test my cosplays just at home while working on them I always think they look horribleeeee but I remind myself that once I have a full face of makeup and that I look at it in a good lighting, my opinion will change drastically lol and it does ! I don't wear makeup irl, I learned for cosplay specifically and it is such a game changer. I also feel the same with people who have really good cosplays but wigs fresh out of the bag not even brushed out 😭 Like all cosplay is valid but I promise if you take that extra time to trim the bangs and brush it out it'll already make a world of difference

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  • Usually when i get this feeling I try to remember my love to the fandom! Also I remember how much work I put into it since I pour my heart into my projects + when I went to conventions woth cosplays I didn't feel great in people proofed otherwise (you should not rely on others opinions tho! NEVER)

    Usually appreciating you own work and time you put into the project gives you some confidence.

    But what you also should be aware of is the fact that this feeling won't vanish instantly it will take time. Time to accept yourself and your work. Its okay to not feel pretty sometimes but never forget to fight for yourself!!! Just my grain of salt here I think there are so many more like us but you cant see it from the outside. YOU are NOT alone!!!!

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  • cosplay is just playing pretend with outfits. a lot of cosplay videos and photos that get popular are of conventionally attractive people bc that's what algorithms like, but go to a con and its all regular looking people having fun.

    comparing yourself to other cosplayers gets you no where. the best thing you can do is just start making the cosplay. seriously, just don't worry about anything else but making the cosplay.

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  • I mostly just wear masks. I feel a lot more confident when nobody knows who I am. If I ever did cosplay someone without a mask, I’d try to find one that doesn’t necessarily need to look attractive. Example: I’ve been thinking about a John Marston cosplay

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    I love helmets and masks. I dont think I could do it without them.

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  • I think cosplay is where "fake it til you make it" most applies lol

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  • I went thru this when I was doing belly dance shows. I would look back at the pictures and I would feel so ugly. I never felt as pretty as the other dancers. So then I started practicing my makeup more (like contouring), researching photo poses, and forcing myself to smile way harder than I was comfortable with. And let me tell you, the effort is worth it. Eventually I started seeing pics and going wow, I look so pretty! It has nothing to do with body shape and size. Keep practicing, every one deserves to have pictures of themselves that make then feel good.

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  • This is easier said than done but, STOP comparing yourself and know this, social media is all fake and super edited. They usually do NOT look like how they do on TikTok/Tumblr/Instagram irl. I bet you look amazing and just always think, you had the confidence to make/buy/wear this cosplay out and even take pics. That is more than what most people would do.

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  • Cosplay isn't about looking good, it's about enjoying something with other people. Take pride in your work/efforts and remember everyone is beautiful when they are themself!

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  • I definitely feel this in cosplay, but I ultimately remind myself how proud I am of my work. It's about the cradt of it more for me than how I look in it. It's about showing my love for a fandom/character I love so much. I fake the confidence in my look by showing my confidence in my work!

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  • I have literally blocked all the awesome cosplayers on my feed because they make me too self-conscious and that robs my joy of cosplaying. I'm not a pretty girl by any means and I'm not that talented at makeup either. Honestly it really helped to just block them! And then you go at cons and you see actual people like you, some with better or worse cosplays, and you feel better.

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  • I would recommend you look at cosplays from the early days 1990s-2000s. A lot of cosplayer photos you’ll see are just regular degular people, who worked hard to put together what they had to play dress up as characters they liked.

    Social media is gonna show you people at their absolute best, with perfect lighting in the best looking photo out of tens or hundreds of tries if not thousands. You should consider how much hard work goes into the editing of those spectacular cosplays as much as the craftsmanship.

    Focus on the joy you get from dressing up as your character, and remember the joy people get seeing them especially since you said it was a smaller community

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  • It all comes down to hair and makeup imo, practice doing those well!

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  • Hmm what is it? The clothes / makeup/ props? The execution others have of it?

    Do you ever feel like this in non cosplay settings?

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  • The best cosplays are ugly as sin. That's what makes them beautiful. I'm less impressed by a printed unitard and paintroller makeup, than a poor schlub who crafted his full suit of armor out of Dr Pepper 12 pack boxes. Courage is not the absence of fear, it's continuing on in spite of fear.

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  • 95% what everyone else says, but brutal honesty, about myself? I analyze exactly what I don't like. If I can point a finger at it, I will improve the particular part. If I can't tell what specifically is not satisfying, I know it's my brain being an AH and I try to ignore it as well as I can.

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  • Comparison is the thief of joy. This is coming from a person who could use that advice themselves now and then.

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