For context, I (20f) am a violinist who was a student at a top conservatory. I had to take a leave of absence because I got injured in my back, and I wasn’t able to play for a few months. Thankfully, I am on the road to recovery and am able to play around an hour a day(spread out). But omg, it’s so frustrating seeing how much I took for granted. I struggled with mental health and self doubt before the break, but now I think my past self was just really, really foolish. Something that I would have easily learned in a couple days has taken almost three weeks to do. My technique has taken a critical hit. I’m trying to not let it get to me, but I’m lowk so bummed out 😭 Idk I’m trying to take it one day at a time. Was anyone else here injured or has had a similar situation? I feel really alone in this. I presume my friends at the conservatory are all improving rapidly and idk I don’t really have anyone to relate to abt this(my con teacher ghosted me 😭)
Lots of people go through this at various points in their careers. I took a year off, then 3, and still ended up as a principal in some top orchestras, arguably because of the breaks.
The limit on your practice time is a great chance to really think hard about how you practice - make sure you're never just repeating something without cause. Every note you play should be actively trying to address a problem. Every line you play should be listened to with great intent to identify issues and their underlying causes.
This takes massive amounts of concentration, but it will greatly speed up your progress as you play more and more. And then, when you're able to put in serious hours, your practice will be so efficient you'll rocket past your peers. It's a blessing in a way.
Use the downtime to study music, read books, maybe do a course like the Bulletproof Musician... There's plenty you can do away from the instrument that will help later. Things that others are probably overlooking as they're busy counting their practiceroom hours.
Wow, it’s super cool that you’re a principal! And it’s super comforting that you took breaks- thank you for sharing that, I feel a bit better about lost time.
Your practice tips are awesome! I’ll definitely make sure to keep them in mind. Also, I checked out the bulletproof musician. It’s super intriguing and something I’ll explore further! I’ll also take the time to study music, although I don’t know quite where to start…maybe a general history?
Thank you so much for your insight and advice.
that sucks, and its worse feeling like you are being left behind (crazy your teacher ghosted you). Just remind yourself music is a lifelong pursuit where there will be many setbacks. People do improve rapidly in conservatory, but often stagnate after, either for burnout, or other reasons. Your obstacle is happening right now, but the important thing is how you respond to it. Everyone will encounter something like this in their lives, and the people who can persevere make a lifelong relationship and career with music.
Most importantly, it's a good time to learn what it means to make music for yourself, without comparing yourself to your colleagues. You will need intrinsic motivation to come back, not the extrinsic motivation you described having before. Even before you injury, there will always be a violinist with better chops than you. What is it about your playing that makes it unique? How can you build a meaningful musical life for yourself that isn't measured by the approval of other people? The are important questions that every conservatory student either faces or runs away from, and you have the opportunity to think about it earlier and break out of the spell that gives everyone in conservatory imposter syndrome.
Thank you so much for your kind and insightful message. I think you’re completely right when it comes to finding a motivation for my music-making. The other questions you posed are ones that I’ll be thinking abt for a while as well! Especially about what makes my playing unique. I think I lost confidence in my voice and that’s something I have to rediscover for myself.
Again, thank you so much. 😊
Violinist also, 29M. Took a 3 1/2 year break, had to deal with life stuff + I was burnt out. This past year I got back on the horse only for me to tear my labrum in August (right shoulder), working out using a resistance band smh. I’m working on maintaining but I will need surgery eventually.
Kinda the same reaction you had, though I was depressed bc of perfectionism. Asking myself questions like, “will I ever get back?” “Is it even worth trying anymore?”. I didn’t want to play again unless it was exactly like it was before. Truly felt like the end of my 25+ career. I put a lot of effort in to get back some of what I lost my time away, I was pissed. BUT I have a couple auditions lined up, I’m still going to do them, I owe it to myself to try.
Injuries have a way testing whether or not you’re willing to go through this to do what you love. Will it be the same? Probably not. Are you gonna miss opportunities, absolutely, but there will be others, it’s a long game. If everything was perfect, nothing would be. It’s important to keep going, you’re not alone in this.
I can relate to this and the feeling sucks, I'm sorry you're experiencing this. Depending on the nature of your physical injury this could be just something you need to re-learn to get back to where you expect yourself to be. It's just really hard to have to relearn or practice things we feel like we should be able to do.
Also remember that strings playing is not linear at all. You slog along, make a big improvement, then plateau for a while.