Here’s a chart to help classify your chonker
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  • 858 points heyitsronin33

    CHONMK

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    223 points Walshy231231

    *mn

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    125 points GamertagzFTW

    The m is silent

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    21 points Crazychemist_2

    Bang

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    66 points DC052905

    C H O N C C

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    30 points [deleted]

    C H O N C C

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    23 points [deleted]

    [removed]

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    9 points dapperdoot

    Your post was removed because it is spam.

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    9 points cuz04

    CH O N C C

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  • 759 points [deleted]

    I feel bad for them, they have lower life expectancy and cant move around as much as cats want to :( obesity is really bad for your health, same goes for cats.

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    601 points MasterOfTrolls4

    It’s sad when they’re overly obese, but that’s why we have helpful links in the side bar and we have it so automod comments on every post with those links

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    27 points SpinachSpinosaurus

    my chonkeress got chonky due being a natural couch potatoe and....well.....being neutered. She's getting the food for neutered cat, but she doesn't like to move it, move it :/ So she's something between "she chonk" and "a hecking chonker". We try to keep her in that area, at least.

    anybody ideas to keep a princess moving? cause she isn't a big player. she hunts with her eyes. and when she attacc, she doesn't wrecc. which means: she attacks her prey, but she's not killing it, she runs PAST it. always. she doesn't kill her prey (mostly flys and moths), but meows at it. So yeah.

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    53 points [deleted]

    [removed]

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    191 points KJBenson

    There’s no shame in being fat, but there is shame in saying it’s healthy.

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    153 points Akitz

    Being fat is bad. I think it's fine if you're fat, because you're doing it to yourself and that's your business. But a cat can't take control of their own health like that, and you have a responsibility to them to protect their health and comfort.

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    33 points [deleted]

    I needed to find a succinct way to say this and you just provided it.

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    14 points CheshireGrin92

    Still even when update photos are posted they say that and that was even before r/dechonkers was a thing.

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    7 points KJBenson

    I feel it should be called r/bellysag assuming those chonkers get skinny the way all the cats I’ve ever owned do.

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    4 points pointsouttheobvious9

    Why?

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    4 points Gravnor

    Please say sike

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    104 points [deleted]

    [deleted]

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    67 points The_Wild_Slor

    I have a fatty who's going on 15 in april and hes been chonker all his life. Still hope fences with the rest of em and hes missing a back leg.

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    76 points flashpile

    Got a fat cat because he literally doesn't stop eating - he used to be a stray, vet said he'll never get out of the mentality of "must eat now while I can" even though there's no risk of starvation.

    Not helped by the fact that we have another cat who barely eats anything, so whenever she (inevitably) takes two bites of her food and walks off, he'll come barreling in and finish the rest.

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    22 points pastelchannl

    feed your cats in separate, closed rooms, and when they are done, take away the bowls so none can steal. you might want to feed your minimal eater more frequently (in small portions) throughout the day (if you can ofcourse). this can also be done for the bigger cat, but ofcourse you have to keep the daily portioning the same in total (or less if it won't impact his current health).

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    21 points sirius4778

    We do this and it's such a pain and I think our bigger cat started to dislike the smaller cat because of it. Sorry chunk boi I don't want you to get diabetes.

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    15 points theCurseOfHotFeet

    We have a tiny cat who is a grazer, and a big chonk who eats everything ever. The wee one has a RF thingie kn her collar so her food dish opens for her and she can eat as she pleases. She never touches the big girl’s food because ew. The fattie can’t get into the baby cat’s bowl before the lid closes on her.

    We got a fairly cheap RF bowl on amazon a few years ago, I think it was about $50, and it has saved us so much anguish trying to literally herd the cats. Highly recommended.

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    5 points cheeezus_crust

    Thank you so much for this! I had no idea such a thing existed. We have a fatty who will literally not stop eating if we leave food out for our normal sized cat, so we have to feed them separately twice a day. Will definitely try this!

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    10 points wearenottheborg

    Sounds like you need one of these

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    3 points Fuzzyhuskywuzzy

    my cats like that too he will eat fluff and he eats all his food so fast that we needed to have his food comeout in small portions 4 times a day. we've had him since 2017 so he's around 6 now

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    5 points flashpile

    Wait...what? How were you able to comment on a 2 year old post? I thought Reddit automatically locked after 6 months

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    4 points Fuzzyhuskywuzzy

    idk this one wasnt locked-

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    14 points [deleted]

    My lifeling chonker outlived her slim mother and sister by quite a few years.

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    58 points Ph0ton

    Obesity isn't as hard on cats as it is on humans; they can actually be healthy and look pretty fat. On the upper levels of body fat of course they have limited mobility and even joint pain. In general fat cats are not too poor in health. I would suppose due to a limited lifespan, exposure to various threats to quality of life, and a high rate of kidney disease, it simply shifts obesity down from the top causes of feline morbidity.

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    11 points imtheheppest

    “They can actually be healthy and look pretty fat” perfect example of my Oscar. He may be 27-28 lbs, but he’s got a normal body fat amount, he’s just solid. He was twice as big as the rest of the litter too when he was a wee baby. And he eats just twice a day out of a little dish, so it’s not like he’s overeating. I always have to explain that when people see him in person or photos of him, haha.

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    6 points DivinePrince2

    Do you have research to back this up?

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    7 points [deleted]

    I sometimes worry that people in this sub and absoluteunits over feed their pets just for posts.

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    6 points [deleted]

    My uncle had a very VERY obese cat. Reached 25 years

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    6 points Hunchmine

    That’s why it’s called “Oh Lawd he comin”. It’s tellin the lord that the Chonk is comin to heaven soon.

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  • 367 points lazarshott

    OH LAWD HE COMIN

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    77 points Flitterpea

    *cracks the floor

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    33 points JasArt20

    Happy Cake day!

    distant chonk stampede to get Cake

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    25 points jdashs

    I couldn't stop laughing at this classification

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    7 points spinblackcircles

    Funniest shit I’ve seen in days

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    9 points thenyx

    I pissed myself laughing with this the first time I saw it.

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  • 98 points AnonyMooseRepublic

    He chomnk

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  • 67 points [deleted]

    Ohhhh yees i luve chuonk

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  • 40 points TaruNukes

    OH LAWD HE COMIN

    Lmao

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  • 29 points Dudeface34

    r/dailythread

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    49 points MasterOfTrolls4

    We’ve been reposting it because one of our mods photoshopped the old one to have a better resolution and we had some errors with the previous renditions

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    13 points fredandlunchbox

    So to clarify, are these pounds? Cause my boy is around 20 but he definitely chomnk

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    31 points MasterOfTrolls4

    It’s percentage of how much of the body consists of fat

    Edit: actually a better way to word it is that it’s the percentage of body mass that is fat, so say the cat weighs 10 pounds and has 2 pounds of fat, that’s 20% and that’d be moderately healthy

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    18 points fredandlunchbox

    Ah I thought that, but the last image threw me off since it says 70 and 65.

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    17 points MasterOfTrolls4

    I’m thinking that’s a joke? I’m hoping that’s a joke because that would be depressing to see a cat like that

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    12 points fredandlunchbox

    Looking around this sub, sure seems like there's some real contenders.

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    15 points MasterOfTrolls4

    Sadly, that’s why I have those links in the sidebar and automod comments

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    11 points fredandlunchbox

    Amen. It’s the lawd’s work you do.

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    7 points Wolfhound_Papa

    I love that you’re basically the only person to ever post there 😂

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    9 points Dudeface34

    It's only got a few subs so I have to keep it alive, as I am the founder of the sub.

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    4 points Wolfhound_Papa

    Keep fighting the good fight. I stole a few of those to share.

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  • 26 points Red_Chinchilla_1

    M E G A C H O N K E R

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  • 14 points ZigglesTheCat

    A fated meeting of r/absoluteunits and r/coolguides. Quick, somebody crosspost for maximum karma!

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  • 16 points Alucard0811

    MoreFatThanCat

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  • 17 points DogTheBoss69

    OH LAWD HE COMIN

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  • 10 points DepravedWalnut

    My cat is a hefty chonker

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    15 points v2262

    50% fat 50% cat

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    1 points kwabecik20

    Get help

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  • 11 points TangerineLipGloss

    I put my cats on Blue Wilderness dry food and instead of feeding their wild instincts, they plumped up to near heftychonk.

    I've since switched to another brand and cut their overall intake. They're now at a comfortable chomnk and hope to be a fine boi and girl again someday.

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    3 points dogfins25

    I have 2 fine boi's and my one guys is hefty possibly mega. I have tried many different foods to help him lose weight with no success. He now has inflammatory bowel disease, so I've just kind of accepted the fact he's always going to be a chonkers.

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    2 points charlypoods

    you have to limit his food and if that’s not working then work w your vet, no need to give up there are plenty of resources

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  • 13 points [deleted]

    I've got three cats, all brothers. Ones a fine boi, ones a he chomnk, and ones a mega chonker.

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    10 points MasterOfTrolls4

    The holy trinity

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  • 13 points Ezzypezra

    I've never seen an OH LAWD HE COMIN. I do know a M E G A C H O N K E R though.

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  • 11 points MonsterMan335

    OH LAWD HE COMIN

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  • 9 points Someonekul

    My boys be chomnks, but my vet says they're healthy so I'm not complaining

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    3 points MasterOfTrolls4

    Naturally chonky boi

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  • 8 points Berninz

    "OH LAWD HE COMIN" 😹😹😹

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  • 5 points NorthernLaw

    Absolute unit

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  • 6 points piesmadeofferrets

    I own two fine Bois or fine gal if you will.

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    5 points MasterOfTrolls4

    All boy kitties are bois and all girl kitties are gals, it’s universal law

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  • 4 points cheeezus_crust

    My girl has just been a big girl her whole life, when I changed her food from dry to wet she lost about 4lbs and acted like she was starving all the time. She used to wake me up at 3-4 am every night. Since I have moved in with my boyfriend he got her off of that habit, but she will still give me those sad eyes and meows near the food bowl and will relentlessly try to come up with clever ways to steal her brother’s dry food.

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  • 6 points thesacredjackal

    AW LAWD

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  • 4 points Jedi-master-dragon

    Don't over feed your pet

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    4 points MasterOfTrolls4

    Straight and to the point. I like it

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  • 4 points H3xide

    he chonky

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  • 6 points StardustJojo13

    This is amazing and my new favorite sub. Reddit always ends up surprising me 😹

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  • 2 points discatzuu

    I have two chonkers, Polly and Auttumn. They both fall on the "OH LAWD THEY COMIN" scale, but we feed them the exact same amount as our super skinny cat! Can someone help me? I'm worried they could get dieabetas!

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    3 points MasterOfTrolls4

    I would recommend seeing a vet about it

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    3 points DivinePrince2

    This has to be a troll.

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  • 4 points ArchertheDegenerate

    I’m laughing so hard there are tears in my eyes. Oh lawd he comin.

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  • 4 points jdashs

    I could not stop laughing at the Oh lawd he comin classification

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  • 4 points [deleted]

    I have never seen a OH LAWD HE COMIN before. Where can I fin this magnificent breed

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    4 points DivinePrince2

    They are usually dead by the time they reach that point.

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    1 points [deleted]

    They cannot die. They too chonk

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  • 3 points 7er84j

    satisfaction level 100%

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  • 3 points LadyLothlorien

    This is the content I never knew I needed in my life

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  • 3 points chicagomeeple

    This cracked me up lol

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  • 3 points discatzuu

    OH LAWD HE COMIN

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  • 3 points ftm_dankmeme

    My cats in the middle of fine boi and he chomnk

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  • 3 points [deleted]

    Mine cat is not a chonk, she likes to run and play a lot

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  • 3 points sonicdale

    My cat is a hefty chonk

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  • 3 points quoralizzard420

    The only chart I need in my life.

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  • 3 points A-God-Dam-Shrub

    the last one looks like a fckn ball

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  • 3 points kitsune900

    In Summer/spring my cat is "a fine boy" in winter/autumn she's a "he Chomnk"

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  • 2 points [deleted]

    Damn...

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  • 2 points Stoicseb

    The last one looks like a corn dog

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  • 2 points dakotathememegod

    c h o n k .

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  • 2 points Mockbubbles2628

    Mines a 30 I think

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  • 2 points morgandj56

    Minnie cat is becoming Megachunk. She annoys me until I feel her.

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  • 2 points DonutMaster56

    I have a H E F T Y C H O M N K

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  • 2 points Ready4TheAfterlife

    My cat’s a former fine boi who’s becoming a he chomnk. He’s got this genetic weight disorder, all good now!

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  • 2 points mrscandyriver

    Well I just found my Facebook cover pic.

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  • 2 points Wes_Consin

    Best thing I’ve ever seen on reddit. The overhead view of gerth is priceless! Thank you for creating and posting!!!!!!!

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  • 2 points mrbeasteuuoooohhhhh

    OH LAWD HE COMIN

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  • 2 points Definitely_not_bella

    My cat is somewhere between Hefty Chonk and Megachonker

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  • 2 points Tombsoni

    Holy s*it, i just realized my cat was on stage 5.

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  • 2 points thealienartist

    I think my cat Vlad is a chomnk and my cat Max is in between fine boi and chomnk

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  • 2 points [deleted]

    I have a heckin chonker

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  • 2 points xander012

    Mine is a fine boi

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  • 2 points jessiecolborne

    Mines between the green and yellow. He’s apparently the perfect weight for his breed, but because of his muscle mass he’s a little squishy. :3

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  • 2 points Individual-Choice-99

    Oh lawd he coming

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  • 2 points [deleted]

    My cat is A Heckin Chonker(tier 3/tier 6)

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  • 1 points punisher_skull09

    Helpful

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  • 1 points SceptileRaptor

    What level of chonk is 17 lbs.

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    1 points MasterOfTrolls4

    Depends on the breed, a normal weight for a Ragamuffin can be 15-20 pounds while a Scottish Shorthair’s normal weight is around 10 pounds

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    2 points SceptileRaptor

    American Tabby

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    1 points MasterOfTrolls4

    Not too sure, I’m sure if you post a pic on the sub someone will rate it for you

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    1 points SceptileRaptor

    Alright

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  • 1 points KittyKat2675

    OH LAWD HE COMIN

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  • 1 points FuCuck

    Mine is a Hefty Chonk

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  • 1 points [deleted]

    If Reddit bans fat people hate, it should ban fat pet celebration too. Fuck these people. Animal abusers.

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  • 1 points [deleted]

    I have fine 🅱️oi

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  • 1 points Despasi2o

    Just swinging by to say have a great day and ask if there’s a sub like this for dogs

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  • 1 points TheeGalaxCee

    Oh Lawd He Comin

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  • 1 points TheLivingGranolaBar

    Cat be looking thicc

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  • 1 points [deleted]

    We have a black fine boi

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  • 1 points redbaron62yt

    I feel bad for the last cat

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  • 1 points Bluuuuuuuuuuuuuu

    Technically, even though I’m not a cat, I would be a heckin chonker

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  • 1 points Halopro895

    My cat is a Level 2 ‘She Chomnk’, trying to get her in shape this summer.

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  • 1 points Argnox

    OH LAWD HE COMIN

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  • 1 points [deleted]

    My cat is like 30%

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  • 1 points SoloPilot17

    What’s with the 20, 30, 40? Are those pounds or what?

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    1 points [deleted]

    Yes they are

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    3 points SoloPilot17

    If I ever see a 70 pound cat I’m gonna run as fast as I can because ain’t nothin gonna get in that things way

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  • 1 points TheBigBoisKing

    Middle is best

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  • 1 points Rachaford

    If you have the last two, GET YOUR CAT HELP!!!! You should never let your cat go beyond “fine boi” :3

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  • 1 points [deleted]

    how to tell if your cat is garfield

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  • 1 points [deleted]

    Somebody edit this to make an r/imsorryjon level at the end

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  • 1 points Nibbasliketoeatpant7

    Garfield... WHERE IS THE LASAGNA

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  • 1 points Cimmerian-Berserker

    The top picture is not what it seems..

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  • 1 points aishudio9

    😂👍

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  • 1 points AnxiousLawyer9210

    E

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  • 1 points Helicopter_38

    I don’t see a Garfield on there

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  • 1 points [deleted]

    awe

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  • 1 points [deleted]

    My chonker is off the charts though.

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  • 1 points dizzodog

    Dear Lawd save dem chonkers

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