Walking to work this morning, dark, cold, I’m tired, Monday blues you know yourself and from across the road I hear a woman’s voice, dead serious now, “are you still pretending to be blind?”. As I quickly look across there’s a blind man approaching her tapping his cane and the two of them burst out laughing! You simply cannot beat the Irish sense of humour. I had to post this little story, I’ve thought of it on & off all day and they’ve brought such a smile to my face. They didn’t even notice me as they were stood chatting away, so, thanks lads!
I smile when I think about 2 neighbours of mine some years ago, the woman on her balcony called out to the man walking by “jaysus Des you look like crap” and he replied “you’re looking pretty shit yourself Teresa” 😂
😂😂
In fairness the fella probably wouldn't have noticed you from across the road anyway.....
Was standing at a bus stop a few weeks ago and a fella in a red and black knitted jumper was cycling infront of our bus about to pull and a older woman beside me says ‘jaysus he’s like Freddy Krueger on that bike’ I’m laughing now even typing it was so funny😂
Why was the blind man wet?
Because he couldn’t see that well..
This is so bad it's good
Here some of my favorite blind jokes because I couldn't resist. Someone is procrastinating. I can do this with my eyes closed. Which as a blind person I genuinely do
I see said the blind man
Why did the blind man get run over by a car? Because he couldn't see it coming. Might croak it this way, what with electric cars lol
How do you get a blind person to see? By boat
What singing competition do blind people compete in? Zerovision
These are dad jokes. Idc. Hope the formatting is better
Please split the jokes so people can tell which is which I struggled to read some of them but the others are great
I forgot this is not readable to you guys 😂 my bad
My Da used to tell one, I see said the blind man the hole in the wall, oh no said the deaf man, there's no hole there at all.
I dont get the joke 😭
Mine always says this too
Dude what is that? Bc my screen reader just says image
It's a bit hard to describe accurately, but I'll give it a shot.
The image is an animated gif. It is a close up of Leonardo DiCaprio's face, cropped so that the entire image consists of his face. The source is a still image from Django Unchained, in which Leonardo's character is wearing a sort of smug expression, in which his mouth is partly open, his tongue sticking out slightly.
The gif has been modified such that the only animation is that his mouth is flapping open and closed, giving the impression of his tongue lapping at the air.
😂
Ha ha. I didn't see that coming.
Eastern European couple walking down our road a while back, both carrying large packets of toilet paper. An old Dublin guy stopped them and asked, are yiz off for a shite? They were obviously confused, so he asked again before breaking his ass laughing and walking off.
Same happened I friend of my father years ago there was a sale of toilet paper in dunes once and as the old lad said this man would go to the ends of the earth to get something cheap. Well our friend bought a hole load of toilet paper and was walking out the door when he met some little lad about 15 or 16 and as they were passing the young lad said you must be going for a shite sir. It was the man himself who told my father the story bursting his arse laughting as he told it.
My English boyfriend was over visiting my family in Galway with me last year. We were down the local pub sitting in the middle of a lovely trad session when an aul lad starts chatting to him for a bit, asking where he's from etc. Finally the aul lad goes to him, 'well you're very welcome here...as long as you remember go home after' 💀😂
Nonirish but blind. I almost cracked up
Reddit text to voice is a thing?
No but iPhone's voiceover is
Oh cool, so just part of the phones accessibility features. Thats awesome!
Exactly
Years ago Sligo Rovers were playing Bohs, who were really not having a good game. Rovers fans start singing “you’re even worse than we are!”
I remember the sligo Gaelic team after losing yet another match one man been fairly pissed off and his friend saying we'll hardly win the all Ireland this year and yer man said them shower wouldn't get tickets to the all Ireland.
Very true. We were at a funeral today and someone had parked in front of several cars, blocking all of them in. Everyone was a bit frustrated and then this auld lad comes out waddling from church with his finger up and goes "Oh I'm holding up the whole show!", making everyone laugh 😂
Have you seen this-man speaking from the grave?
https://youtu.be/oEygbbZK-u0?si=kA5e0bfD6wS1QKBN
That’s hilarious! There’s literally nothing we won’t take the piss out of and isn’t life less dull for it
I tried to post this the other day and it didn't work, let's try again. Irish parents getting the giggles on video message. One of my all-time favorites.
https://youtube.com/shorts/1KjKJ-XMDX0?si=U4x3Um4Q-bjqAC69
Very true. My family wouldn’t know how to be serious if it slapped them in the face, we take the piss out of absolutely everything. My mum’s wake was a laugh from start to finish. Just stories and taking the piss out of the things she used to do and made fond memories, I will never forget it. Thanks mammy, best mum in the world.
Os
standing outside Todds in Limerick one Saturday (now Brown Thomas) and a guy next to me roars across the street "hey Mick, where were you last night?"
"Ask your sister" came the reply...
Years ago I was getting the bus into Galway from the westside of the city. Bus stopped around the back of NUIG to let off a lad in a wheelchair, he was black. The bus driver put up the ramp for him and yer man wheeled himself off, the bus driver said "Now off with ya ya black b*stard loud enough that I heard from the front of the bus. Yer man started laughing and it turned out they knew each other and seemed to be friends. Shocking in the moment though.
I often saw him on the bus after, but never again heard such a remark.