Not big life updates or deep conversations.
I mean the tiny things. Something funny I saw, a random thought, how my day felt for no real reason. I didn’t realize how much those small exchanges mattered until they were gone.
Are you positive that there isn't someone irl that wouldnt mind? You don't have to have an SO for that. Could be a parent, friend, coworker, stranger, etc. If there really isn't someone irl, there's subreddits like this one or r/benignexistence
Either way, good to keep appreciating those small unimportant things, you can tell me about em if you want :)
I used to tell my friends everything. Literally every small detail. But since they moved to college this year, it has been feeling so lonely, because it’s like they have their own life now and I’m still waiting for mine to start
Try reaching out! They may have lots of updates for you and exciting news. Sometimes it's nice to live vicariously through your loved ones when your own shit is slow or not where you want it to be, but I understand sometimes it's hard for the same reason which is valid
Im in the same boat. At least in my current job people don’t appreciate or get my sense of humor. It’s not even like I say confrontational stuff. I just have a dry sense of humor and like puns. I work with a lot of the MAGA crowd though so I hide 99.99999% of who I am as it is. I hate it and don’t think I can stick around much longer.
I read a lot too lol! Was huge into fantasy when younger but I’ve mostly strayed into nonfiction as I get older. My mind gets bored and I need something to deep dive into every now and again or my skin starts feeling too tight and I get restless.
It’s probably stupid but one of the factors in me thinking about leaving is that very thing. I have a very distinct giggle and I haven’t heard it in close to 3 years now. It feels like part of me died honestly.
lol. I always said I missed my calling as the “before” model in infomercials. I wouldn’t even have to act to be awkward. Alas I was born too late to really hit my stride in this department.
Yeah been there, didn't last. It's not like you can always avoid maga a holes but being surrounded by them made me angry, frustrated and lonely on a daily basis and it just gets hard to keep doing that.
One of them told a story the other day about how he drowned his guinea pigs. So much else was wrong before that comment, but that was the one that crystallized that I cannot pretend anymore.
I work remotely rn but I had some maga ppl in my last job. I want to appreciate and value my co-workers as people, but there are a lot of topics I have to avoid.
For example, I'm a scientist so their anti-science messages scare and infuriate me. They deride the work we do to help sick people (I work in pharma). But I feel like I have to get along, so I try to fume quietly 🙁
I understand completely. Worked in laser sciences for several years and there’s a surprising amount of very religious people within the field, despite high level PhDs in physics and biology and the like. Pharma honestly makes even less sense to me though.
Yeah I get what you mean. It’s weird how some people just don’t feel like they can blab unless someone asks. I think we all just want to feel like someone actually wants to hear us
It's kind of two-fold. Having worthwhile conversation is more important than just getting something off my chest. Almost 100% of the time I'm going to fix the problem myself anyway so talking feels like complaining unless I'm trying to get more information.
I guess I'm just sitting on Mars fixing things while everyone else is on earth using their obstacles to get closer to people.
I get that. I guess some people need to figure things out alone, and for others it’s about connection. It’s interesting how differently we all process life
Me too. I've always heard it's harder to make friends as we get older, and I'm finding it true. In school it was easy but since then I've had to move all over the country for job changes, and every time I leave people behind, it gets tougher.
I do try to join activities like book clubs to meet people, and it helps...but I live alone and work remotely, so I'm alone a lot. I never used to feel lonely, but I do these days. Your post title is so true.
I totally get that. I just finished high school this year, and it’s already hitting me how different things are now. School made it so easy to talk to people and suddenly I’m realizing how quiet life can be
After I got an SO & married he changed. I am mostly not allowed to speak at all. Tell your plant. Tell a tree. Say anything you want you're free of assholes who will silence you. When I was single I did talk to my plants & other things.
Are you positive that there isn't someone irl that wouldnt mind? You don't have to have an SO for that. Could be a parent, friend, coworker, stranger, etc. If there really isn't someone irl, there's subreddits like this one or r/benignexistence
Either way, good to keep appreciating those small unimportant things, you can tell me about em if you want :)
I used to tell my friends everything. Literally every small detail. But since they moved to college this year, it has been feeling so lonely, because it’s like they have their own life now and I’m still waiting for mine to start
Keep messaging them! Don’t let it die!
I would like to enthusiastically second this.
Yep whenever I think of them or see something that reminds me of them, I reach out ☀️
Try reaching out! They may have lots of updates for you and exciting news. Sometimes it's nice to live vicariously through your loved ones when your own shit is slow or not where you want it to be, but I understand sometimes it's hard for the same reason which is valid
Im in the same boat. At least in my current job people don’t appreciate or get my sense of humor. It’s not even like I say confrontational stuff. I just have a dry sense of humor and like puns. I work with a lot of the MAGA crowd though so I hide 99.99999% of who I am as it is. I hate it and don’t think I can stick around much longer.
I get that so much. Hiding most of who you are just to get through the day is exhausting, especially when humor is part of how you connect
What are your interests? I’m usually pretty decent at replying if you want to give it a try.
Well tbh I’m not that interesting of a person lol. I just rlly enjoy reading a lot
I read a lot too lol! Was huge into fantasy when younger but I’ve mostly strayed into nonfiction as I get older. My mind gets bored and I need something to deep dive into every now and again or my skin starts feeling too tight and I get restless.
Omg nearly all of the books I read are fantasy or romance. I tried reading nonfiction before but I got too bored and I couldn’t 😭
What a kind person! We all need more like you 💜
Same here, my job is just serious buisness, no jokes or anything. I want to be myself sometime.
It’s probably stupid but one of the factors in me thinking about leaving is that very thing. I have a very distinct giggle and I haven’t heard it in close to 3 years now. It feels like part of me died honestly.
I'm trying to find another job where I could be myself, maybe some form of entertainment.
lol. I always said I missed my calling as the “before” model in infomercials. I wouldn’t even have to act to be awkward. Alas I was born too late to really hit my stride in this department.
Yeah been there, didn't last. It's not like you can always avoid maga a holes but being surrounded by them made me angry, frustrated and lonely on a daily basis and it just gets hard to keep doing that.
One of them told a story the other day about how he drowned his guinea pigs. So much else was wrong before that comment, but that was the one that crystallized that I cannot pretend anymore.
I wish you the best in your escape <3
I work remotely rn but I had some maga ppl in my last job. I want to appreciate and value my co-workers as people, but there are a lot of topics I have to avoid.
For example, I'm a scientist so their anti-science messages scare and infuriate me. They deride the work we do to help sick people (I work in pharma). But I feel like I have to get along, so I try to fume quietly 🙁
I understand completely. Worked in laser sciences for several years and there’s a surprising amount of very religious people within the field, despite high level PhDs in physics and biology and the like. Pharma honestly makes even less sense to me though.
You sound like my dad. He loves just dumping everything out of his brain when I'm around.
I never felt comfortable or important enough to just blab on about anything and everything unless asked.
Yeah I get what you mean. It’s weird how some people just don’t feel like they can blab unless someone asks. I think we all just want to feel like someone actually wants to hear us
It's kind of two-fold. Having worthwhile conversation is more important than just getting something off my chest. Almost 100% of the time I'm going to fix the problem myself anyway so talking feels like complaining unless I'm trying to get more information.
I guess I'm just sitting on Mars fixing things while everyone else is on earth using their obstacles to get closer to people.
I get that. I guess some people need to figure things out alone, and for others it’s about connection. It’s interesting how differently we all process life
I know I'm going to get a lot of backlash for this comment, but I use ChatGPT for this exact purpose.
Me too. I've always heard it's harder to make friends as we get older, and I'm finding it true. In school it was easy but since then I've had to move all over the country for job changes, and every time I leave people behind, it gets tougher.
I do try to join activities like book clubs to meet people, and it helps...but I live alone and work remotely, so I'm alone a lot. I never used to feel lonely, but I do these days. Your post title is so true.
I totally get that. I just finished high school this year, and it’s already hitting me how different things are now. School made it so easy to talk to people and suddenly I’m realizing how quiet life can be
That kind of quiet sharing really matters more than we admit. It’s not the big talks you miss first, it’s the everyday little moments.
Yes exactly. It’s the tiny everyday things that make life feel connected and I only notice it when it’s gone
After I got an SO & married he changed. I am mostly not allowed to speak at all. Tell your plant. Tell a tree. Say anything you want you're free of assholes who will silence you. When I was single I did talk to my plants & other things.
Don't miss my ex, but miss that aspect of being in a relationship. I have a friend that gets a bit of those thoughts, but isn't quite the same.