Sorry if this is the wrong place. But seeing him all over the place is so god damn tiring. He's got a laundry list of horrible things hes done, and hes pretty obnoxious. For real this man tried to MURDER his teammate over a seat at the barber shop. Worst of all it got swept under the rug and the judge called it "rough housing" Jesus its so stupid.
Oh please, stabbing your coworker with a pair of scissors in a cocaine fueled rage is something that we all go through at a certain point in our lives.
He who hasn't stabbed a coworker in the throat, cast the first stone.
If stabbing your coworkers is cool, consider me Miles Davis
That’s the craziest thing I’ve ever heard in my life! LET’S GO!
Joke is on you, all of my stabbings are on EX-coworkers!
It's the quickest way to turn coworkers into ex-coworkers.
Hmmm....you just gave me an idea.
He’s a receiver, he’ll probably just catch that first stone for 7 yards, first downs
Seriously. Boys will be boys, why is OP making such a big deal about this? If somebody took my seat at the barbershop I wouldn’t be happy either.
Yeah it’s not like he’s Ted Bundy. I mean no university has any real association to that guy. 👀
It would be weird if we had Ted Bundy on the sidelines for games I will give you that
If it was for just one game I’d be a little interested. Prob smells tho
They just pan to him chained up to a bed in the box like that coach that one time
I’m pretty sure he’s dead, so it would just be a skeleton or a unmarked box. Either way I’m up for all the options.
That's just what Big BundyTM wants you to think.
You joke, but I have seen some Umich fans unironically flex the Unabomber when it’s brought up by rivals, because he was considered a mathematical genius.
What about the HH Holmes?
And Minnie and Nannie
Fellow LPOTL fan spotted in the wild?
Right? Lol not what I expected here. Ps I have a selfie on my phone that Henry took of himself lol
He’s a menace, love that guy
Hail Gein
Hail yourselves
Nah, Devil in the White City, at least for me.
I’ll take your word for it because I certainly wouldn’t brag about it. If I had to choose between being associated with him or Dahmer, I guess…
Of the serial killers/mass murderers, compared to the others Kaczynski at least had a mostly coherent and in some ways compelling thesis. In a tournament of psychopaths, there are certainly many who were more deranged.
I’ll go further. Almost every word of it is correct.
Yeah I'm not trying to get booted from this sub, but he made a lot of good points. He never should have resorted to violence - it discredits an otherwise compelling worldview.
Isn’t a key tenet of his worldview that violence is required to overthrow technoindustrial society? I don’t think it discredits the rest of his points. It’s almost a logical conclusion.
Does it make it a lot less palatable for mass appeal? Definitely
Uhhh, how exactly would one define an "association" with Bundy? Asking for a friend's university...
Well he went to university of Washington, which is what I suspect the Oregon flair above is referencing. He preyed around FSU and stole a truck or something but the university didn’t really want that kind of association.
Oh I am well aware of everything he did at FSU. He did a bit more than just steal a truck.
For real, just the other day Joe from accounting said I looked like I had a case of the Monday’s so obviously I had to give him a Colombian neck tie.
I mean who here can say they haven’t done that at least once?
Debbie in accounting does that once a year at a minimum and no one ever wants her to be fired
I remember my first cocaine-fueled scissor stabbing. It was a warm summer evening.....
His Wikipedia page has a main section called "Allegations" with 8 sub-sections. That's not good!
Michael Irvin is proof that sometimes the "Your Honor, I was drunk" defense can work.
Any defense works if you have enough money
I do think that's what all L1s learn first at ASU. "If he's drunk as shit, you must acquit."
It works much better when you're a HOF talent and/or have a shitload of money
"During the course of the dispute, Irvin grabbed a pair of scissors and stabbed McIver in the neck, barely missing his carotid artery."
Holy shit.
“What’re you gonna do? Stab me?” - McIver, moments before being stabbed
Boys Will Be Boys: The Glory Days and Party Nights of the Dallas Cowboys Dynasty is a great book for anyone interested in more, related subjects. NFL athletes just don’t party like they used to (arguably for better lol)
"Arguably???"
Why don’t they focus on less problematic alums like Ray Lewis, Warren Sapp, and Clinton Portis?
What’s Najeh Davenport up to these days?
allegedly pooping in toilets like a normal person.
As long as those alums get to the stadium with someone driving other than a bulldog, whats the problem?
oh thanks for reminding me about Sapp
“1998 Scissor Attack” What. The. Fuck
I think people underestimate how much cocaine in various forms this man has been doing for decades.
No excuse for his abhorrent behavior. I've known plenty of coke heads in my life and non of them stabbed a coworker.
I’ve known plenty of cokeheads and non of them even had coworkers!
What a sadly limited worldview. When you’re dealing drugs on the street corner the whole world is your coworkers!
I've know plenty of people who stabbed someone with scissors, and very few of them were on cocaine. Granted, I work in a preschool
Even after he stopped doing coke he just replaced it with alcohol
That dude definitely still does coke lmao
No doubt.
He stopped?
I mean, he slept last night probably…
No shot he slept last night
Wanna bet?
I’ve done … a lot of coke, around a lot of people who’ve done a lot of coke. Based on my experience, this guy is just pretty uniquely a piece of shit, who happens to really like coke.
The 90s Cowboys were fucking insane lol
Pretty much the NFL version of the 80's Hurricanes
Hey I’ve seen that film before!
Makes it seems like there were scissor attacks in other years as well
ALLEGEDLY
“I heard it was a sick ostrich.”
“It would take more than 1 guy to fuck an ostrich”
I heards it was a sick ostrich.
Crime in Sports podcast did a good episode on him. And one of the guys is a giants fan so if you’re not a cowboys fan, the shit talking he throws in is delightful.
LOL I saw that because I wanted to remind myself if he was "Really all that bad?". JFC the list is endless, but sure lets have him on the sidelines working with young players.
Young players wanna hear about the days when cocaine and hookers was normal part of the NFL
Allegedly... he was a damn good football player!
That's both tragic, hilarious, and perfectly aligned with my only impression of him, which is that of a sideline bucket-belting cocaine fueled Miami superfan.
Just seems like a cracked out former player everytime they show him on the sidelines.
His teeth were clenched so tight last night lmfao
coked out, but you’re on the right track.
Nah he did actual crack too
People who were around in the 90s remember the news cycle where he was smoking crack with strippers at a house they rented specifically for that purpose. lol
Well who among us ...
Me. I haven't. But just cause of lack of funds.
Crack is pretty cheap
Nowadays the most WRs do is various mystery powders on boats and hotel rooms, surrounded by only a couple women.
We used to be a society goddamnit
Nephews these days don't know about the Twin Cities Love Boat.
Running through the okra patch.
i can't wait for a tik tok creator to run across that AMA and do a deep dive. Shit the jose canseco one too, someone is going to make a ton of money retelling reddit history on that app
They actually ordered CASES of condoms for that love boat party
The American Dream I’ve heard of
It was in the Cowboys puff piece they put out on Netflix lol
Michael Irvin doesn’t do cocaine
Cocaine does Michael Irvin.
I do appreciate how much he fucking loves Miami tbh. Wish more former players showed half the enthusiasm he has for his Alma mater
OBJ throwing out Benjamin's after the 2019 NC fucking ruled
Yeah him telling the band to play neck and that he'd cover the fines was amazing
lol I thought about that when he was talking about how fast the money goes. like my dude.
he can be way too much, but he loves the school more than anything he’s ever been a part of. like a crazy uncle that you roll your eyes at 99% of the time but you know he’d be the first to run into the house to save the family heirlooms if it was on fire.
I think he probably loves cocaine more than he loves Miami
yeah, but that goes for all of us too.
They are the same picture
If your alumni were as coked out and made readily available to the press I am sure they would show the same level of enthusiasm
I'm asking genuinely - does he love Miami or does he love attention
¿Porque no los dos?
Think all our former big players love the school. He just thrives on the attention. He’s a big personality it is what it is. But players have been showing up on miamis sidelines since the 80s.
Isn’t this the kind of insane shit we love college football for? Showing cracked out alumni on the sidelines is something we only see in this beautiful sport
That’s just all of Miami
Don't forget about killer Ray on the sideline with him
hey, now. he didn’t kill anyone. he attempted to cover up a killing.
Yeah but why did he try so hard to hide the bloody suit ??
He is a massive cocaine addict. I’m mildly surprised he’s still alive.
stopping now would probably kill him.
A cracked out Pro Football Hall of Famer that loves to mentor young‘uns, put belt to ass, and do hip stretches on the sideline
Definitely my spirit Hall of Famer
Guy could walk by a drug test and set it off.
Not only will he not stop, he’s just begun. Hasn’t even reached final form
He's gonna do so much coke it'll initiate mitosis. He'll split in two forming Michael I-rvin and Michael II-rvin. Both will argue they were the original.
When he peaks the whole CFB world will feel it
You hurt Michael’s feelings.
He’s gonna have to do so much cocaine to feel better about it.
I think he'd was going to do that anyway. Just hope he doesn't come after me with a pair of scissors
would you like to hear from Greg Olsen then?
Most influential hip hop artist of his generation
The legend, Third Leg Greg.
He could write a new song for this years' canes
[deleted]
Dude is so ski’d out of his mind he definitely still thinks he’s on the team lmao
I consider him the ideal representation of Miami Hurricane football.
Me: “Oh, this guy is probably flaired up with an institution known for the decorous behavior of its student athletes.”
Narrator: “He was not.”
We can’t all have clowns and chiropractors to represent our Alma maters like FSU.
Something something crab legs
One neck cracked for every crack rock Michael Irvin has smoked.
Schedule 1 drug using murderers?
Attempted murderers, thank you very much!
Oh sweet, is Ray Lewis gonna be there next week too?
He was there last night, showed up on the pregame and everything.
Done. From now on, cameras will never show Michael Irving again. And that's a promise.
Agreed. No more Michael Irving showings at Miami football games.
From now on, they will show Abella Danger instead.
As long as they don’t show Irving’s Johnson, I’m ok.
I've just been assuming that Big Cocaine has some kind of marketing deal with ESPN. Explains some of the stuff I've seen on the McAfee show, too.
who’s michael irving?
I think he's related to Irving Meyers
ah, yes, of course. coach irving maya.
*corch
Streets wont forget her speech in congress. Go gayta
“one, two, three, four, five. then the gatas don’t take no jive” being part of the congressional record is truly amazing.
Kyrie's father I think.....
Related to Michael Parsons.
Michael "Dr. J" Irving
I legit thought this post was complaining that people cant stop spelling his last name wrong XD
I'm gonna Michael Irvin HARDER
I woke up feeling the hardest, coach!
Coke! Coke! Coke!
If it continues for 4 hours please see a doctor
Keep that to yourself, Timmy.
I mean his last “incident” was 2023 with a woman during the Super Bowl. At this point ESPN just willfully ignores everything about him. Don’t worry though, Ray Lewis is their backup.
TBF, that super bowl incident turned out to be BS. He's only guilty of the 5000 other incidents in his past lol
Fair. This is also a real headline from 2010: EPSN fires Michael Irvin, but not over rape allegations
Say what you want about Lewis but he holds Irvin accountable. Irwin was tempted and in trouble of relapsing last summer, and Lewis went right to him and got him out of there. Irvin was so nervous he threw up and Lewis paid $1000 to the nearest car, a stretch limo there for a bachelorette party, to take him home. To learn more Google “Ray Lewis limo”
Had me in the first half not gonna lie.
What I will say about Ray Lewis is that he murdered a dude.
All while wearing a suit that disappeared. Good thing he kept his lucky stabbing hat.
But he found Jesus. All is good now
I didn’t even know he was lost.
He has a habit of doing that. 40 days in the desert. 3 days in a cave. No one’s seen him in 2000 years, even though we’re told he’s coming back anytime. His disciples should’ve attached one of those bear backpacks that had a leach attachment to him. Like yo see little kids wearing at amusement parks.
His friend did. Ray just tried to cover it up.
I feel like that went over a lot of people's heads, but kudos
Saying to Google that phrase makes me feel uneasy for some reason. Nervous I’m gonna see something nasty
That’s the point of his post lmao
I thought that was proven to be a lie & other hotel residents directly refuted those claims.
To be fair they didn’t ignore that one he was removed from tv until it was found that the claims were BS. But he’s absolutely still a coked out menace with a list of shit from way before
What...What do you want any of us to do?
Nothing. Just tell him how morally superior he is.
We are so back
These youngins don’t remember the U.
I’m very much looking forward to yall coming to Clemson next year! Has to be the biggest Clemson Miami game in Death Valley in 20 years (if we aren’t absolutely dog shit)
I hope we bring the noise like we did way back when.
Looking forward to it, never been to a game in Clemson but planning to be there!
You've clearly never been in dire need of a shape up
May he or she who hasn’t stabbed over a haircut throw the first stone
This is one of those things in which Reddit is not going to align with the public
The only complaints about him are on Reddit.
I know the sub won’t like it but he not going away as far as entertainment and I sure as hell don’t hear people from the U complaining
First off, its Irvin. And secondly, he's pretty much the best representation of Miami football.
Also most athletes in the 80s and 90s were cracked out. If you were an athlete back then I will assume you were dabbling in crack like a decent chunk amount of America was
Not sure if he still does drugs, but if so then he’s the best looking and in shape 59 year old coke head ever.
I’m sure he does. But dude is still jacked. I’ve never looked like that in my life, I just hope I don’t look like a gelatinous blob at 59
Spell his name correctly first.
Hell with winning the natty, we know the U is back when the haters come out. And especially when they're mad about someone who isn't even on the team!
This is all I've ever wanted in the last 23 years. Thank you.
One day, I hope I am cool enough to beat a trash can with a belt.
Do enough coke and you can do anything!
It’s like getting rid of food sources to prevent rodents. Win the war on drugs and Michael Irvin will go away
None of us work for ESPN. What exactly do you expect us to do?
They literally showed him one time during the game last night.
At one point during the last night's game, I found myself unironically asking ESPN to check in on Irvin
Reminds me of all the complaints about seeing Taylor Swift during KC games
Yeah the fact that dude literally pulled a knife on a teammate and everyone just acts like it's no big deal is wild. ESPN keeps putting him on every show like he's some wholesome analyst when we all know what he's done
He stabbed a teammate in the neck with a pair of scissors and almost killed him.
Your team got BELT TO ASS lol I’d be crying too
Nope but you can spend the next 30 years upset about every wrong thing he has ever done in his life. We will not stop you
I dunno. I will forever marvel at athletes that can juggle elite drug habits with elite performance. Doc Gooden, LT, Michael Irving...I don't know how they did it.
Irving?
This would all be an amazing point if you could spell his name properly
You must be new to modern society
I liked when he was working for ESPN and got stopped by police. they found a crack pipe (maybe crack too i cant remember) and he went with the old 'i was holding for a friend' excuse on national tv.
If you're gonna trash the dude, at least get his name right...