Story Blurb:

Dark powers awaken. The vast nation of Rethlawen fractures under the weak rule of a crumbling monarchy. Varakir, a remnant of ancient evil reaches for the world of mankind, rousing the dead to his will and enslaving the dragons as they awaken from their stone-bound slumber. 

Talinn and his younger brother Caedmond flee the destruction of their home to Castle Thalnor, an ancient bastion on the edge of civilization. Talinn pursues revenge against the mage who murdered his parents, laying bare the secrets that connect Varakir to his loss. Caedmond falls in love with a girl named Aneira and becomes her steadfast guardian, discovering Aneira’s struggles with the duty her family secrets demand. Should she fail, mankind will fall before the flames and claws of the dragons bent to Varakir’s will.

Story Excerpt (Beginning of chapter 5)

Talinn squared off against one of the other squire aspirants, a freckle-faced boy a little younger than him named Holric. Both wore chainmail hauberks and padded gauntlets, holding wooden swords and dinged wooden shields, with helmets on their heads. A shock of red brown hair escaped from Holric’s helmet, lending him a comical aspect with his wide, frightened eyes. Holric swallowed as he stepped up to Talinn and made a probing attack under Sir Godric Greyfast’s watchful eye. The huge man’s arms were nearly as thick as Talinn’s waist, crossed before his chest in watchful thought. Talinn had heard some people at Castle Thalnor speculate that Sir Greyfast might have giant blood in him.

Giant’s blood or not, Sir Greyfast was in charge of Talinn’s training, and until Talinn impressed the big man, he would not be permitted to train with the older squires. Somehow he had not done so. Talinn was but twelve summers old, and yet he had not lost a bout in the last twenty with the boys his age, and perhaps two in the last fifty. What was he missing that Sir Greyfast sought? He would never improve with such lackluster opponents.

Talinn swatted aside Holric’s feeble strike with a contemptuous lift of his shield. He slammed his own wooden sword square into Holric’s shield, and the boy stepped backwards. Talinn shouldered into him, ramming the shield into Holric’s chest and knocking him backwards. The boy tripped and sprawled on the ground, a cloud of dirt puffing into the air.

A quick glance at Sir Greyfast. He frowned, displeased, but not at pathetic Holric sprawling in the dirt. Talinn had drawn his disapproval.

“What did I do wrong?” Talinn demanded, taking a few steps closer to Sir Greyfast. He heard a few other boys gasp at the way he had addressed the knight overseeing their training.

“You are sloppy, Talinn,” Sir Greyfast rumbled. “Undisciplined and unfocused. Showing off, thinking that it will impress me. If Holric hadn’t been so afraid of you, he could have scored easily. You left yourself wide open. Attend to your forms. Again.”

Talinn had enough sense to cease arguing, but he seethed as he faced Holric once again. Talinn had to match himself against the older boys and grown men if he wanted to get better, to grow strong enough to duel the man in shadows and avenge his parents, but even when he demonstrated his superiority over his peers, it wasn’t enough. What if there was a way to ensure he got what he wanted? What if he showed that he was too dangerous to these miserable, sluggish cowards to be allowed to keep training with them? Sir Greyfast would be forced to match Talinn against worthy opponents.

Instead of waiting for Holric to step forward and attack, Talinn charged the boy. In perfect, exacting form, he struck, and wide-eyed Holric barely deflected his blow. Holric’s wooden sword clacked off Talinn’s shield with scant force. Talinn pivoted left, his wooden sword in a whistling arc. He crushed Holric’s extended right forearm above the padded gauntlets with his practice sword right at the point of greatest force, a little over a third up the length of the wooden rod from the hilt.

Holric fell to the ground, screeching, his weapons forgotten beside him. Talinn had broken Holric’s arm, blood dripping from the gash where his arm now went crooked. He writhed on the ground, but Talinn didn’t spare him a glance. He met Sir Greyfast’s thunderous gaze.

“Halt! Fell claws, Talinn!” Sir Greyfast swore as he stepped over the training ring fence, crouching to inspect Holric’s crippled arm.

Content Warnings:

• This book has subtantial romantic subplots, but sex scenes are fade-to-black.
• One adult character kills a would-be rapist
• Brief descriptions of violence against animals
• Off-screen child death
• Violence between children
• Violent scenes of medieval armed combat
• Hints at fantasy species racism

Feedback Type:

I'm looking for general reader feedback. I've gone through multiple drafts and had early beta reader eyes on my book, but I'm looking for a wider circle of perspectives than my friends and family. This is a character-driven fantasy epic with a wide scope and complex plot, so I am especially interested in feedback from people who are not especially familiar with that specific fantasy subtype. How approachable is it? Were you lost or uninterested anywhere, and why?

Preferred Timeline:

I know that this is a monster of a book at 177k words, but I'm looking to self-publish and I need to know if I require more rounds of editing, and if so, what to focus on. If possible, I would like feedback check-ins every week so that your thoughts are relatively fresh. Ideally, I would like to have this round of beta reading finished by one month after this goes up.

Story Swaps:

I would love to do a story swap, especially if your book is epic fantasy or military sci-fi. No erotica, please, but I'm a pretty general reader otherwise.