[In Progress] [40k] [Fantasy] Coalescence

Hey all,

I'm looking for a reader or two or more for feedback on my WIP. Looking for general feedback, with a look at narrative flow, character voice, pacing, and generally keeping a reader's interest.

Open to a critique swap in a similar genre.

A quick description:

​Luca Dhamon is a Gummer, a scavenger who hunts the raw essence of magic known as amalgam. For most, amalgam is power; for Luca, it is life support. His daughter, Crissa, is afflicted by the Wasting, an invisible disease that will consume her without a steady supply of the magical essence.

​But the trade has become deadly. The Asteran Empire has begun hoarding amalgam, choking the supply to control the continent's six pillars of magic. With the market dry and Crissa’s condition worsening, Luca is forced to align with the Insurgency—rebels determined to shatter the Empire's grip.

​Caught between a tyrannical regime and a desperate rebellion, Luca uses the war to further his own ends. But as he digs deeper, he realizes the conflict is far greater than supply and demand. Luca must decide how far he is willing to go to save his daughter—before the Empire destroys the source of magic forever.

Thanks in advance!

  • Hi OP,

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  • Hello! Would you be willing to swap for a fantasy manuscript? Happy to give input!

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    Hey there! Feel free to shoot me a DM.

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