I just can’t fathom loving anyone or anything even remotely as much as my first child. I’m so afraid I won’t love my second child as much. I’m already having feelings of guilt even though I’m just in my first trimester.
Just looking for some wisdom.
I just can’t fathom loving anyone or anything even remotely as much as my first child. I’m so afraid I won’t love my second child as much. I’m already having feelings of guilt even though I’m just in my first trimester.
Just looking for some wisdom.
You are not alone. A lot of people actually have that fear. What also actually happens, is your love does not split. It multiplies, and often surprises people how powerful and natural it feels!
So excited for you!
I’m pregnant with my second now, too! I’ve heard from other second time moms that your heart just grows an extra chamber for that second child.
And remember, it’s okay if you aren’t OMG SO IN LOVE from the second baby is born. Some people aren’t. For some, it’s instant; for some, it doesn’t come until a few days later (weeks? I don’t know).
I'd even say it's normal to still not quite feel the same amount of love for the new baby for months, at least until they develop a personality and you get to know them. For the first while, they're just a blob that you love but not in the same way you love your older child you've known for years
You will. I thought the same but my goodness the second just really fits into our family. Can’t imagine my life without them and I can’t believe I have so much love for them. I didn’t think my heart could grow bigger but it does.
There isn’t one thing I wouldn’t do for one that I would do for the other. I truly love them to the ends of the earth, equally. I have enough love for one more…maybe haha
I worried this as well, especially since my babies were born 12 years apart. That was a lotttt of time for my relationship with my oldest to reach outrageous depths. I thought for sure I couldn’t love my second as much as my first. But I remembered my mom telling me that she had the same fear when she was pregnant with me, and that her heart just grew to contain the new love.
My baby is 13 months old now and the depth of the love is not the same as it is with my oldest for obvious reasons, and at first I worried about it, but a year in, it is exactly where it was with my first when he was that age. It will only deepen further with time, just as it did with my first. It feels like the most natural thing in the world.
My husband and I both had this fear for our second. I was immediately in love with my second just ad much as my first. My husband liked him but took a few months to warm up. Second is 2.5 now and we are equally obsessed with our children for completely different reasons. Love grows, not divides!
Do you love one parent less because you have two of them? Or do you love them in different ways for their own unique relationships with you? I love how my oldest son wants to know everything and understand everything. I love how his little brother always wants to make sure that everyone is taken care of and brings his baby sister her doll when she cries. I love how my daughter shrieks with joy every time her brothers run by her and how she does a happy dance whenever she sees a slice of cheese. They’re all amazing. They all have rough days. And they’re all my kids and I’m so blessed to have them.
It’s so common to have this fear. Just like usually you don’t realize the love you could have for your first, the same can apply to your second, third, etc. Love doesn’t have a limit
I had the same fear. Everyone told me that your heart just ‘expands’ when you have a 2nd. I didn’t understand what that meant.
I’m currently 2 weeks pp with my 2nd baby. The love I have for him is so strong and instant, and I haven’t lost any love for my 1st child either. It’s hard to explain but your heart truly does just get bigger.
Postpartum doula here to say that from what I've seen, this is so, so common. Your heart expands in a new way that you can't always picture beforehand. Also from what I've seen, that feeling does fade away once baby number 2 is born.
I had that feeling when first gave birth to my second, I have 2under2 so i felt guilty towards the first and upset with the second because she was taking from my time with the first. It didn’t magically disappear once I gave birth it took me sometime now the second is 6mo and i love them both , but my love to each one is a different kind of love, they are different so they are loved in the way they need
I was exactly where you are. My newborn is 15 days old and I adore her as much as her sister. I even love watching them together as my first just loves her baby sister. Let yourself feel the feelings, soak up the time with your first, and trust that you will love your second. It’s another big shift in life going from 1-2 kids, it’s okay for you to have different feelings about it.
I felt the same way too with my twins (second pregnancy after my singleton), and hoooo boy let me tell you, your heart has an endless capacity for love and it will humble and amaze you.
Some days I love my second more than my first lol. I'm only half kidding too. As the other said, your love multiplies and you have double the love rather than half for each child. That said, being a newborn mom is SO much easier the second time. I feel so much more relaxed and I actually enjoy everything way more! Knowing two was my max, I really savour every little moment.