Ugh. I just had an argument with my mom about my husband changing the babies diaper. My husband has gone back to work and I am 4 days postpartum. We live with my husbands family and this is our first and the first grandchild on his side. We flew my mom here so she could help me adjust to the newborn phase and so far it been alright. Don’t get me wrong it’s wonderful having support and getting some rest when she has the baby. But it frustrates me so much how when the baby is crying for whatever reason (latching/diaper/gas/cold) my mother and MIL act like I’m doing something wrong with the baby. My MIL gives advice in the form of scolding and judgement. After I give her the baby to hang out with she comes back to tell me the baby spit up. I’m like okay? Wipe it then. Then she goes on about how I need to do something and asks do I not know. ?? Does she not know how to wipe spit up and burp a baby? My mom makes these jokes of “oh you poor baby what’s your mom doing” and at first I laughed but now I’m pissed. I took the baby to the hospital today because of not enough wet diapers (2/3 on day 3) but honestly it was also because they make me doubt myself. My MIL constantly says the baby is hungry but she’s literally fast asleep and brought her hand to her mouth. But because of that now my MIL thinks I don’t make enough milk (the doctors confirmed I make more than enough milk and everything is fine with baby). My MIL still insists on giving the baby formula and my mom thought that too before what the docs said. My husband had to leave me in the hospital with the baby so he could go to work (don’t get me started). So I spent the day in the hospital to come back and my mom scolds me on not resting like I have a choice?? It’s so frustrating that they are expecting me to have messed up or be ignorant. Yes I’m a young mother but I know what I am doing. When my husband came back from work, I wanted to take a break and have him change the diaper. Of course the baby is wailing because my husband doesn’t know what to do and is flustered. Here everyone comes scolding me about letting the baby cry. My mom starts going in on me worrying everyone and stressing the baby?? I tell her that babies cry and my husband needs to learn how to change a diaper. But oh no she says that my husband needs to rest and he can learn when the baby is older. That just set me off. They think that because they get a calm baby that they are so great. When in reality I just spent 1-2 hours feeding, changing, burping, and soothing the baby. My mom has the audacity to say that it is “our baby” not just mine. I lost it and yelled at her. I’m just at my wits end and I wish I could lock myself and baby away somewhere. I would love to continue to get help with cooking/bringing me meals in bed or washing laundry. But now I’m done letting them have the baby. I honestly don’t even like sleeping without her and it’s my favourite part watching her sleep. Ugh it’s just all so much and I just don’t always want to feel criticized.