Hello. First time poster.
Long story, but my enabler mom has been sick and my BPD brother has been making life hell for everyone else.
He has always been abusive to me specifically. It’s been amped up since my grandpa died and my grandma was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer the other day.
He is 30 and still lives with her. She is his enabler and can do no wrong in her eyes. I think if I cut her off or go super low contact, I’ll be better off. I am very close with my mom. I don’t want to do this, but I see no other choice anymore.
Only the raisedbyborderlines subreddit requires first time posts to have a cat to prove you read the rules. We don't since we haven't had the same problems as they have to deal with.
Just a heads up: posts with pictures, videos, or links are automatically filtered and stay in the mod queue until we notice them.
My mom is the enabler for my sibling with BPD too. It hurts to realize how far she'll go for my sibling but never for me.
I make sure to use non PC terminology when discussing the antics my sibling gets up to. (Directly calling their behavior abuse, instead of anything else, because it is abuse.)
This really resonates. I wouldn’t wish these dynamics on anyone, but it’s validating to see how common they are—and to be reminded that wanting to be seen and feeling worn down makes sense. Wishing you comfort as you navigate these hard decisions. With time, clarity about the right boundaries tends to come.