I had asked for a really limited edition and kind of pricy perfume for Christmas as a gift and to be my bridal perfume as I’m getting married soon. My dad ended up getting two and gave one to my mom (which is fair like that’s his wife) but then BPD little sister demanded to have it and threw a massive fit in public at dinner saying she’s asked for this first (she didn’t even know what it was before this dinner) and she wants and he was like I’ll take it from mom and give it to you
I’m so frustrated that everything becomes about her all the time. This was one thing that was just mine. My whole life anything my parents ever got me she HAD to get one too or she threw a fit. Anything I wanted she got it first or took it from me and dad would say give it to her it’s fine “she’s your little sister keep the peace”
I feel like I can’t even enjoy my wedding scent now and I was so freaking excited about it before this but now it’s just another thing of mine she took
I get anxious when I receive gifts because when we got gifts as kids, my sister would either decide she got the better gift and gloat about it or throw a tantrum and try to take mine.
Omg! I thought it was just me! I didn’t know it might have anything to do with BpD but it’s been getting worse. I got a tattoo on my wrist, so she got one. (No one else in our family on either side has any tattoos). I started wearing this unique perfume, she goes out and gets the SAME DAMN FRAGRANCE! Not even a different scent and they had like 50 different scents. A couple of weeks ago she comments on my unique running shoes, then asks me where I got them and what style and brand they were and is on her phone trying to find them and buy them! This has gone on my whole life! And I’m the younger sibling! Time and time again she keeps getting the same things I get…we are in our 40s/50s by the way. I get so mad bc she wears the perfume every time she’s around me too. She even has the same damn car as me! Ahhh!
This reminds me of an old post in another subreddit where the poster was frustrated with a friend who always copied everything she did. She decided to tell everyone she was planning on getting a large dragon tattoo wrapped around her whole forearm and described it in detail many times. The friend got the dragon tattoo and the poster got the tattoo they actually wanted.
They lack a personality so they mimic others to feel whole. There's no true self in there, just a void. She probably has no idea what she likes, all she feels is envy.
Omg my bpd sister is literally getting the same degree as me... She has started telling my experiences as if they are her own... For example, she'll tell a group of people a funny story about something that happened to her, except it's MY story I told HER... I've almost pulled out old journals to prove they are my memories...
This is so classic, it leaves you feeling like you can’t believe your own memories. I call it ‘single white femaling’ in reference to the movie.
I think its part of the picking and mirroring character traits that they admire. They can’t truly separate themselves as their own stable ID, so their brain tells them it happened to them, not the person they are mimicking. It’s why they come off as so authentic, because they truly believe their lies themselves, to the point of beating a lie detector test.
Next time she does it, just jump in and say a specific detail that she doesn’t know then follow it up with a ‘silly sister, that actually happened to me, not you, remember it went like this ……..’. And I told you about it at mum’s when………..
This detail makes YOU sound authentic and it’s done in a non confrontational way, more like a ‘oh, we’re so closes at sisters that we struggle to separate as people’ kind of vibe.
Be consistent, reclaim your memories and don’t let her gaslight you. Once she realises that you will always call her out, she will stop doing it, in front of you anyway.
From here on, learn to gray rock, don’t give her any personal information that she can use against you. You will become less and less interesting to her and she will move on to someone else.