So I (23m) and my boyfriend (27ftm) have been dating for about a month and a half. We have a really good emotional connection and are both kinky. We’re both switches with me leaning much more to dom and him much more to sub. He’s a trans man as well, this is relevant. He told me from the beginning that he was a size queen and when I asked if I was smaller than he usually likes it he was honest and said I am. I’m 4.5 inches, definitely under the average, which I’m aware of, and according to him about 1.5-2 smaller than the majority of his partners.
We have good chemistry in terms of BDSM and kink scenes, so no complaints there but a few days ago we talked about it and he said that he can’t really feel me when I’m inside. He was very gentle and sweet about it and it didn’t come as a huge shock because he was honest from the beginning. I’m still nursing a semi bruised ego, since this is really the first time I’ve had this complaint, but I’m a man of action really so the best thing for me is to try and problem solve.
We talked and I told him we should start experimenting more with toys and whatnot, he had lots of dildos and I ordered a cock sleeve off of a website (yes it’s body safe silicone don’t worry). I’m fine wearing it and really hopes he likes it and he said he’s fine with me taking it off and putting it back on whenever as long as me wearing it doesn’t feel like just a chore or a motion to try and get him to cum faster. Same with dildos.
Which really brings me to the crux of the problem. How can I work around my size and keep scene fluidity going?
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I think you’ve already figured out? I don’t have a dick but have been with size queens, and I just change to a bigger dildo every now and then, until I’m happy with the moaning mess. You could start off fucking and having your way /maybe cumming on them and then fucking then with bigger dildos or when you getting close you can wear a cock sleeve so you both can have pleasure together the way you would want to.
You could also have a scene that is literally train him, starting small and getting bigger and bigger. You should incorporate the sizes into play.
Okay perfect that’s kinda what I was thinking
Trans man bottom here who loves getting railed (but would not describe myself as a size queen). I have partners of pretty different sizes and both of them also use toys to fuck me, so my response is based on that.
One idea is for both of you to lean into the other aspects of really intense fucking, where you're in a position to pound him with a lot of force such that it's really dramatic / Dominant / hard, a kind of big energy thing rather than just the size of the physical penetration.
Another idea if he's into anal is to strap / use toys in such a way that you're fucking one hole (maybe his ass) with your dick, and his other hole (maybe the front) with a dildo. Have fun!
You are absolutely on the right track. I'm a Domme and I have had sub's who were size queens or wanted the training.
Whatever your partners favorite texture is get an assortment of dildos like that (tentacles, monster, knotted, realistic, alien, smooth). Get several sizes each about 1/2 wider and 1-2 inches longer than the last up to one size bigger than their maximum. Get them all with suction cup bases. Get a strap on. They make them to fit men too, with an open crotch. They allow for DP fun and will let you please your sub with the "getting fucked" sensations that come with having a person's hips driving it home. We Dommes have no dick at all and do just fine. I get VERY into pleasing my subs. VERY into it. 😀
Here’s my question- did he tell you it’s not enough for him or are you feeling conscious about it? Because if he hasn’t actively said ‘your size is causing problems’ then there isn’t necessarily something to fix.
Please read the post. He said he could not feel me. I’ve never had dick size complaints before so I wouldn’t really say I’m self conscious per say.
I did read the post but I didn’t read it as he was complaining and telling you it wasn’t enough? Just saying ‘I can’t really feel you’ isn’t enough information. Did he request toys or say I need something bigger?
Not all people into big toys or penises need it all the time (coming from someone into xxl toys). So, my question is if HE specifically made the request or if you are offering up something because you feel you need to. If so, you’ve already discussed the options of things to try and it’ll just take practice to keep things fluid.
Yeah we talked about what to do and he reassured me that he was just fine with less sex and stuff and I told him we can play that by ear but I wanted to try out using toys more, which he already has two dildos and some buttplugs and a long time ago bought a cock sleeve that was just too big for him actually. He said he’d be happy trying toys.
Not feeling a very near avg size penis vs preference to be stretched are different things. This sounds medical or like an inconsiderate partner.
Real thought needs to be given to this relationship. Saying something like that to a man or calling a woman lose without great care is rude AF. Easilymcould of asked for you to finish or sometimes add other toys, fisting, and a host of other things.
Every time you have sex now you will wonder if they enjoy it.
I mean he was very gentle with me and before we even had sex told me he was a size queen. To be fair, he’s been very forthcoming and hasn’t felt inconsiderate just a different situation. But I appreciate your thoughts.