I never really got much bigger as I didn't go all protein protein protein and constant progression but It just made me feel stronger, more in control, and more confident in my body in a way that other excercise didn't.
Seconding. I was all cardio in high school and college. Once I started strength training in my mid-20s, everything changed.
A secondary effect of this is that the free weight section of the gym was very male dominated (not as much now, but this was over ten years ago). As I got stronger and my form improved, the confidence from feeling comfortable taking up that space was almost more than the fitness.
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Yep. I have a rule for myself that I always go to bed with a washed and moisturized face, and clean teeth. It's bare minimum, but it really does make such a difference.
my teen daughter is just discovering this. Before she even started lifting, she was all "ugh that looks so boring" but now that she's started coming to the gym with me and seeing results, she's PUMPED lol. I love it.
Skin care routine. I'm not OLD but people frequently comment on my skin and say I look way younger. Or ask me if I had procedures done. And this is coming from someone that had acne up until my mid 20s.
THIS! I'm in my 50's but most people think I'm late 30's, early 40's. It is a lot about genetics BUT taking care of your skin matters! I started in my 20's and have kept a ritual of skin care and changing products every so often, which also makes a big difference. Hydrate, exfoliate, masks, collagen, all of it counts!
I do mix and match and I don't do the exact same thing every day. IMHO, doing the exact same thing daily keeps your skin exactly the same. I feel like changing it up yields a better result. Currently my favorite products are: Vitamins and Sea Beauty Gentle & Brightening Sea Salt & Coconut Face Scrub ,Sun Coast Sciences Hydrate + Restore Total Face Cleanser, Mycellar Water Makeup Remover, Rosewater Spray Toner, IT Confidence in a Cream, The INKEY List 2% Hyaluronic Acid Face Serum, StriVectin Tightening Cream. I do change products a couple times a year and NO I don't use these all at the same time.
I take pride in my skin care too. I can’t even sleep without washing my face first. Especially if I have on makeup. I’m 41. People tell me I look younger. I think it’s mostly luck. I have been moisturizing regularly for ten years, so I’m sure that’s helped.
love this! Any other tips you have? I've noticed I put on a slight smile when talking to people, and when I take it down I feel much more like my confident self than a people-pleaser
Having good posture! Roll your shoulders back a bit combined with the slight chin up. Marching band taught me to have great posture, and it really does have a nice psychological effect.
Self care and oddly not wearing makeup! I struggled with embracing my natural look for so long but I really took the moment to look at myself. Then I challenged myself to go all natural for a year outside of lipgloss and doing my eyebrows myself.
Before bed, I'll write 1 to-do on the mini whiteboard that's on the fridge. I get the task done the next day and crossing it out feels like an accomplishment. The tasks get complex over time and I'm still able to cross it out. I grow confidence in myself when I can trust myself to follow-through to my own promises. So nice to know that I could fall on me
Improv classes/performances. Nothing else I’ve done has been a better training ground for fear and failure, and it’s made me a hell of a lot more confident.
Certain habits of thought to be more flexible and use critical and complex thinking. I was brought up to be very obedient, but as you can imagine, blind obedience isn't a useful trait...
challenging beliefs about who I thought I was (lousy, stupid etc) by observing for times when I am not, and allowing myself to feel good according to what I have done
learning to challenge automatic patterns like, thinking other people are better than me, or feeling that I deserve for people to be angry with me (when it is actually not deserved: e.g. spilling water on the table is not a punishable offence, it's an accident)
Honestly, mantras and positive self-talk. It feels unbelievably corny at first, and it's a difficult habit to build, but over time I started to actually believe what I was saying.
I am a strong, beautiful, confident woman, dammit.
Celebrating my own personal victories for myself. Taking myself out to eat, buying myself something expensive. I don’t need others fanfare. I need to know I got me and that my value to myself is of the utmost importance.
I became my friend and started parenting my inner child. I stopped believing my mean comments to myself and started picking out things I like and gave myself pep talks telling myself (in my head) well done when I did something difficult. I also question why I made that mean comment about myself and whether it's me or peer pressure/ex bullies made me believe that. I started looking after my body better too and instead of comparing and feeling low I questioned how I can achieve what I want to be. It took a while to shift my mindset but I feel a lot better about myself. This body has got me through a lot despite me being mean to myself. It didn't give up on me. I appreciate it so much.
Finding something positive everyday about myself. When I get down or got down I remembered that one positive thing.
The trick I was taught was that it doesn’t have to be something extravagant. My nails look pretty, I have a cute outfit, my stomach looks flat, my shoes look great, or my eyes are super blue.
It can also be a beautiful sky, or tree that caught my attention.
Being by myself, cutting off makeup/nails, not checking the reflection in nearby surfaces, not measuring my worth with external factors, being a good friend to self
Ah yes, forgot the last one, even though it’s so multi-layered in its influence. No TikTok, Instagram, dating apps, Twitter, etc + minimal amount of short-term content
Fake it till you make it – seriously. I often masked my fears or even acted in the opposite way, pretending to people that I was the most confident person. Until I actually became quite self-confident.
Self care! I’ve focused a lot of my skin the last while and now hardly wear make up or if I do it’s very light.
Also finding exercises that I enjoy like Pilates
It’s been said a bunch, but the gym. I can’t even tell you how much it helped my mental health. I went from an insecure whiny butt to a pretty confident person (although I still don’t love my body). My mental game is so much stronger and I’m here for it.
Any self-care habit that shows my nervous system (and probably soul) how much I care about her. Taking the time tells your body subconsciously you’re worth the pause and quality time
Traveling. My childhood trauma followed me greatly hindered me into my adulthood. When I was 30, I did a life overhaul, which included circumnavigating the world on my own. To see if I could do it. And what’ya know, the world is generally a friendly place. (I knew where not to go.) That earned me a lot of street cred after being an underdog for most of my life. I still travel and have become nearly fluent in Spanish! So now it helps me connect with the locals, which has greatly helped my social anxiety.
Keeping promises to myself. Tiny ones. If I said I’d go for a 10-minute walk or drink water before coffee and actually did it, my confidence quietly went up. Turns out trust in yourself is kind of everything.
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Exercise, both weightlifting and cardio. Seeing my body get stronger, watching myself lift heavier than men, running marathons, looking great in backless dresses and being comfortable in heels. Never been more sexier and confident.
I never wore much makeup when I was younger. After 3 babies and about 60 extra lbs, I saw myself on camera during COVID and realized I've been walking around looking like a troll. Once I started wearing makeup more strangers, men and women, started smiling at me more in public.
Doing things that shared the shit out of me (things I wouldn’t usually do) because data (your experiences) can’t lie, but imposter syndrome can. I love living by Misogi ( a Japanese term for self inflicted chaos to help us become better is how I like to describe it)!
These for me included:
- joining toastmasters
- completed a coding bootcamp - I don’t code now but wanted to prove to myself I could do hard things
- completed a gym program (lose fat, gain muscle)
- travel solo
- picked up boxing
- get my real estate license
- cold showers in the morning
By doing hard things, it helped me gain more respect for myself which as a result increased my confidence. Good luck ❤️❤️
Going out to eat by myself for brunch and saying “table for 1 please”. I’ve noticed a lot of people feel uncomfortable being around someone that eats alone but honestly I enjoy it so much. I’m not waiting on someone else to know what they want to eat and I can eat at my own pace.
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We are strong. We are capable. We can do anything we set our minds to. We can create life. We have “God” (a life force) that lives inside us. If we harness that power we are unstoppable.
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This sounds really stupid, but when I’m getting ready in the morning I put on music I love, have a little dance party, and specifically engage with myself in the mirror as I dance/sing along.
Because you’re having fun and you’re moving with joy, you look comfortable in your own skin and you look happy creating a positive feedback loop with how you see yourself. It’s helped me fix the negative relationship I had with looking at myself in a mirror.
Weightlifting
I never really got much bigger as I didn't go all protein protein protein and constant progression but It just made me feel stronger, more in control, and more confident in my body in a way that other excercise didn't.
Seconding. I was all cardio in high school and college. Once I started strength training in my mid-20s, everything changed.
A secondary effect of this is that the free weight section of the gym was very male dominated (not as much now, but this was over ten years ago). As I got stronger and my form improved, the confidence from feeling comfortable taking up that space was almost more than the fitness.
I came here to say this. Especially having a strong core and good posture. Makes everything look better.
Torchbearer✨️
How did you get started with weightlifting? Like from zero. Home gym setup? Group classes? Personal trainer? Frequency?
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I'm my biggest hype man. I don't talk down about myself. I'm my biggest fan.
I pay myself compliments. I admire myself. And I stay tf off IG.
Agree with saying off IG. I deleted it like 5 years ago and I’ve become tremendously less insecure.
I am my big Fan Love ittt
This is where I need to drop - fb and Any social media
Self-care. In my twenties I thought it was just an expensive waste of time but now in my thirties I'm realising it's an expression of self-respect.
Yep. I have a rule for myself that I always go to bed with a washed and moisturized face, and clean teeth. It's bare minimum, but it really does make such a difference.
exercise.
my teen daughter is just discovering this. Before she even started lifting, she was all "ugh that looks so boring" but now that she's started coming to the gym with me and seeing results, she's PUMPED lol. I love it.
Going to the gym boosted my self-esteem
Skin care routine. I'm not OLD but people frequently comment on my skin and say I look way younger. Or ask me if I had procedures done. And this is coming from someone that had acne up until my mid 20s.
THIS! I'm in my 50's but most people think I'm late 30's, early 40's. It is a lot about genetics BUT taking care of your skin matters! I started in my 20's and have kept a ritual of skin care and changing products every so often, which also makes a big difference. Hydrate, exfoliate, masks, collagen, all of it counts!
May ask what your favourite skin care products are and what brand? I’m curious as to which ones you used most consistently.
I do mix and match and I don't do the exact same thing every day. IMHO, doing the exact same thing daily keeps your skin exactly the same. I feel like changing it up yields a better result. Currently my favorite products are: Vitamins and Sea Beauty Gentle & Brightening Sea Salt & Coconut Face Scrub ,Sun Coast Sciences Hydrate + Restore Total Face Cleanser, Mycellar Water Makeup Remover, Rosewater Spray Toner, IT Confidence in a Cream, The INKEY List 2% Hyaluronic Acid Face Serum, StriVectin Tightening Cream. I do change products a couple times a year and NO I don't use these all at the same time.
I take pride in my skin care too. I can’t even sleep without washing my face first. Especially if I have on makeup. I’m 41. People tell me I look younger. I think it’s mostly luck. I have been moisturizing regularly for ten years, so I’m sure that’s helped.
When you walk, tilt your chin very slightly upwards. I feel more confident and it’s just a tiny difference
This is the kind of advice I scout
love this! Any other tips you have? I've noticed I put on a slight smile when talking to people, and when I take it down I feel much more like my confident self than a people-pleaser
Having good posture! Roll your shoulders back a bit combined with the slight chin up. Marching band taught me to have great posture, and it really does have a nice psychological effect.
The gym/consistent exercise.
Lifting weights. I can crush my enemies heads between my thighs.
Self care and oddly not wearing makeup! I struggled with embracing my natural look for so long but I really took the moment to look at myself. Then I challenged myself to go all natural for a year outside of lipgloss and doing my eyebrows myself.
Bare face is beautiful! Makeup is so expensive too.
Before bed, I'll write 1 to-do on the mini whiteboard that's on the fridge. I get the task done the next day and crossing it out feels like an accomplishment. The tasks get complex over time and I'm still able to cross it out. I grow confidence in myself when I can trust myself to follow-through to my own promises. So nice to know that I could fall on me
This is a great habit!
Improv classes/performances. Nothing else I’ve done has been a better training ground for fear and failure, and it’s made me a hell of a lot more confident.
Certain habits of thought to be more flexible and use critical and complex thinking. I was brought up to be very obedient, but as you can imagine, blind obedience isn't a useful trait...
challenging beliefs about who I thought I was (lousy, stupid etc) by observing for times when I am not, and allowing myself to feel good according to what I have done
learning to challenge automatic patterns like, thinking other people are better than me, or feeling that I deserve for people to be angry with me (when it is actually not deserved: e.g. spilling water on the table is not a punishable offence, it's an accident)
Etc. So that now I can stand up for myself more.
Getting off all social media. Comparison is the thief of joy.
Posture. And decided to just do the thing. Whatever the thing is, even if im scared, I do the thing.
Honestly, mantras and positive self-talk. It feels unbelievably corny at first, and it's a difficult habit to build, but over time I started to actually believe what I was saying.
I am a strong, beautiful, confident woman, dammit.
Exercise and not being near the people who abused me
Doing my own makeup. It really helped me create my own style as a teenager and was the first step into being less shy.
Celebrating my own personal victories for myself. Taking myself out to eat, buying myself something expensive. I don’t need others fanfare. I need to know I got me and that my value to myself is of the utmost importance.
I became my friend and started parenting my inner child. I stopped believing my mean comments to myself and started picking out things I like and gave myself pep talks telling myself (in my head) well done when I did something difficult. I also question why I made that mean comment about myself and whether it's me or peer pressure/ex bullies made me believe that. I started looking after my body better too and instead of comparing and feeling low I questioned how I can achieve what I want to be. It took a while to shift my mindset but I feel a lot better about myself. This body has got me through a lot despite me being mean to myself. It didn't give up on me. I appreciate it so much.
Finding something positive everyday about myself. When I get down or got down I remembered that one positive thing.
The trick I was taught was that it doesn’t have to be something extravagant. My nails look pretty, I have a cute outfit, my stomach looks flat, my shoes look great, or my eyes are super blue.
It can also be a beautiful sky, or tree that caught my attention.
It can be anything. ❤️
(Emotional and financial separation from parents)
Being by myself, cutting off makeup/nails, not checking the reflection in nearby surfaces, not measuring my worth with external factors, being a good friend to self
Running and taking care of myself a little bit more.☺️♥️
Ah yes, forgot the last one, even though it’s so multi-layered in its influence. No TikTok, Instagram, dating apps, Twitter, etc + minimal amount of short-term content
Exercise and self care.
Eating a healthier diet and moving more.
Fake it till you make it – seriously. I often masked my fears or even acted in the opposite way, pretending to people that I was the most confident person. Until I actually became quite self-confident.
Exercise and sleep. Both help me physically and mentally which is a fantastic mood-changer.
Making my bed every morning, made me feel so productive and even better when I would come home from work and see the bed was made.
Manifesting. Helped me choose small goals & have a vision for myself
Self care! I’ve focused a lot of my skin the last while and now hardly wear make up or if I do it’s very light. Also finding exercises that I enjoy like Pilates
Exercise and a personal trainer. He has done so much for my confidence.
Not a habit but rather a lack of one.. quitting alcohol. I have so much pride and confidence in my ability to make good choices for myself now.
Working out. I started taking HIIT classes 2 1/2 years ago and it’s changed my life. Taking the time to do my nails every week.
It’s been said a bunch, but the gym. I can’t even tell you how much it helped my mental health. I went from an insecure whiny butt to a pretty confident person (although I still don’t love my body). My mental game is so much stronger and I’m here for it.
Sticker on my mirror with affirmatiins like: i love you, you are the best etc.(you will look to yourself eheb reading
Krav maga
Any self-care habit that shows my nervous system (and probably soul) how much I care about her. Taking the time tells your body subconsciously you’re worth the pause and quality time
Saying affirmations & journaling the things I’m grateful for every day
Gratitude Journalling
Eating healthy and working out daily and self care/maintenance
Positive self talk and giving myself grace.
Three things that helped me: Stop overapologizing. Accept compliments. Pay attention to how you speak about yourself.
Traveling. My childhood trauma followed me greatly hindered me into my adulthood. When I was 30, I did a life overhaul, which included circumnavigating the world on my own. To see if I could do it. And what’ya know, the world is generally a friendly place. (I knew where not to go.) That earned me a lot of street cred after being an underdog for most of my life. I still travel and have become nearly fluent in Spanish! So now it helps me connect with the locals, which has greatly helped my social anxiety.
Keeping promises to myself. Tiny ones. If I said I’d go for a 10-minute walk or drink water before coffee and actually did it, my confidence quietly went up. Turns out trust in yourself is kind of everything.
Complimenting strangers!
It's a minor form of of rejection therapy but it's made me more confident approaching people and removing social barriers
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Dancing. Absolute fucking game changer
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Finding my style and dressing well. Skincare. Finally learning how to style my curly hair well.
Exercise, both weightlifting and cardio. Seeing my body get stronger, watching myself lift heavier than men, running marathons, looking great in backless dresses and being comfortable in heels. Never been more sexier and confident.
Gratefull journal
Makeup.
I never wore much makeup when I was younger. After 3 babies and about 60 extra lbs, I saw myself on camera during COVID and realized I've been walking around looking like a troll. Once I started wearing makeup more strangers, men and women, started smiling at me more in public.
Doing things that shared the shit out of me (things I wouldn’t usually do) because data (your experiences) can’t lie, but imposter syndrome can. I love living by Misogi ( a Japanese term for self inflicted chaos to help us become better is how I like to describe it)!
These for me included: - joining toastmasters - completed a coding bootcamp - I don’t code now but wanted to prove to myself I could do hard things - completed a gym program (lose fat, gain muscle) - travel solo - picked up boxing - get my real estate license - cold showers in the morning
By doing hard things, it helped me gain more respect for myself which as a result increased my confidence. Good luck ❤️❤️
Going out to eat by myself for brunch and saying “table for 1 please”. I’ve noticed a lot of people feel uncomfortable being around someone that eats alone but honestly I enjoy it so much. I’m not waiting on someone else to know what they want to eat and I can eat at my own pace.
Stopping people pleasing
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Learning assertiveness.
https://youtu.be/34brPBse628?si=-kdipaNbbyhfnd-z
Journaling. Hate to be that person, but if you know you know.
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Gym
feeling stronger, disciplined, and kinder to yourself builds confidence naturally over time.
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stop explaining yourself unnecessarily
getting my eyebrows and upper lip threaded. I feel like a new person each time and makes a huge difference to my confidence instantly
not taking what people say about my looks to heart, good or bad.
Dedication
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Fake it till you make it
Wearing makeup. It’s my war paint.
Going to the gym. It prepares me for war.
We are strong. We are capable. We can do anything we set our minds to. We can create life. We have “God” (a life force) that lives inside us. If we harness that power we are unstoppable.
Not giving a fuck
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affirmations. there’s a specific line in euphoria that i repeat a decent amount. “everyone feels stupid, u just have to choose not to”
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Exercise and healthy diet
This sounds really stupid, but when I’m getting ready in the morning I put on music I love, have a little dance party, and specifically engage with myself in the mirror as I dance/sing along.
Because you’re having fun and you’re moving with joy, you look comfortable in your own skin and you look happy creating a positive feedback loop with how you see yourself. It’s helped me fix the negative relationship I had with looking at myself in a mirror.