Irresponsibly and accidently got pregnant at 26. Got an abortion, decided I, in fact, wanted to be a mom. Started trying at 29. Now 36 and I have two kids, and two step kids.
Similar - I had an accidental pregnancy and abortion at 24. It wasn’t the right time, but it did solidify for me that I’d want kids in the future, and very likely with that partner.
We got married a few years later and started trying in our early 30’s, and I had twins at 32. Our family is very complete now, and we won’t be having any more kids.
My partner at the time, unfortunately, did not want to be a father. I loved him very dearly but I wasn't willing to give up my dream to be a mother. I got into a relationship with someone who said we could try to have kids. He thought he was sterile and he was lying about it to make me think it would be possible. Welp, 8 months later, he found out he wasn't sterile at all! We did not stay together but we co parent and are close friends and family. We see each other and talk to each other everyday. He has a new partner and another child with her. After becoming a single mother, three years later I decided I wanted another and essentially found a sperm donor type situation. Dad isn't involved at all nor on the birth certificate. I was a single parent until my daughter was 2 and my son was 5. In two weeks I am getting married to someone who was my friend through all of this and has 3 kids of his own (whom he has full custody). I got my tubes tied so I cannot have more kids but 5, I think is enough. Although, I would be tempted had I not got the operation. haha.
Absolutely never. I never wanted babies and I would have been a terrible mother. I'm almost 60 now and this is one of the few choices I made correctly in life.
Bless you for being self-aware. You see that so little nowadays. As a young woman seeing this from a woman generations before me, it is a hopeful sign that I too will not live to regret the decision not have children. I will again reiterate that I do truly enjoy children however I am thankful that I do not have them and I do not intend on having them. I don't think that I would be a bad mother however, with my current lifestyle, working two jobs simply to get by, I couldn't even imagine bringing a child into that existence. Also that, and all of my mom friends are living beyond exhaustion and many have felt that they've lost themselves. That's a terrifying prospect and I get warned about it all the time
At 19, I was first diagnosed with cervical cancer and I was offered a full hysterectomy...this forced the decision of whether I wanted to preserve my ability to have biological children, or not. I chose conservative management and delayed the choice to have children for another day. With maturity and experience, though, I came to realize I did not want children at all. As I exit my childbearing years, I feel secure that I made the right choice.
Actively thinking? I was 25 and I told my husband i wanted to give our oldest a sibling.
As for steps, no more birth control, I did that temperature taking and mucus viscosity method to find out when I was fertile and have more sex during that time period.
So sorry you had to go through that. I had a miscarriage when we first started trying, nearly broke me then latter that year, i decided I was ready to try again, it worked.
Thats so interesting. My friend has thought she and her husband would be childfree as they decided to do so many years ago, but now at 35 she’s starting to reconsider. May I ask how changing your mind happened for you? And/or how I can support my friend?
I don’t fully understand it myself. I just kept feeling the absence of something (and I don’t even know if that’s the accurate words for it) for a while, but because I had thought I did not want kids, it was difficult for me to connect those dots. I have a fairly active social life and I was travelling, but I couldn’t shake this feeling. Then I started getting these vivid dreams where I was pregnant or a mom and I woke up feeling really good about it. That was so confusing. I had also put a lot of eggs in the “aunt” basket. But then when my niece was born, I kinda felt this sadness that she wasn’t mine?
The conversations with my friends started as being on the fence, but then as I was honest with myself, they were about wanting to pursue having a child. I also spoke to a therapist and it was kind of funny because she was just like “ya, people change their mind about things” and it was such a non-issue where as I kind of had a lot of shame/guilt since my partner was also not interested in having kids.
So for me a lot of it was navigating changing my mind with my partner. Eventually he did decide that he was on board (thank gawwwwd because I wasn’t sure what I would do if he wasn’t…I’m already 39…do I want it enough to go at it alone??? So many questions I thankfully didn’t have to get into).
I’m 40 now and pregnant. I’ll be 41 when this baby arrives if all goes well! I just got really really lucky and was able to get pregnant “naturally”. I’m sure there will be days where I will question my choices but overall I am pumped for this next phase of life!!! And I would have thought future me was crazy if she rolled into my life even at 38 to say that I would want to be a mom.
Thanks for coming to my ted talk.
Edit: as for supporting your friend, I think just emphasizing that people change over time and it is super normal to change your mind about things! We can’t hold ourselves to past versions of ourselves.
It is a wild ride for sure! And I’m learning I’m not the only one. But I also have lots of friends who continue to be childfree by choice further in their 40s and even 50s.
Would also love to hear more about how your mind changed. I’m mid 30s and am very torn tbh. I can’t decide one way or another. I can see both lives being meaningful.
Me too always wanted kids. Waited till we bought our first home and built our careers. I think it’s the smart move but we are now actively trying close to 35
We started trying a month after I turned 35, doctor said it could take a while because I had just had my Mirena removed after 7 years. I got pregnant on the third month of trying!
I’m 29 and still very conflicted. I also don’t have a serious partner and it can be tough to figure out how to navigate finding one when I don’t know what the goal is
I'm 32 and have been married for a few years now. I've always been open to adopting and no to bio babies, but the husband would like bio babies. I'm also conflicted because the husband is okay with adoption and has made it clear it's up to me, but I don't know. I'm torn between doing it for his happiness, but also my own reasons for not wanting to carry.
I can't offer anything, but I'm also conflicted, just in a different way. I hope we both get through this dilemma.
I feel the same way. There’s severe mental health problems in my family, if I had a bio child that had them I don’t think I could forgive myself. My partner understands this because of the reason
I got sober at 25, always disliked kids & never wanted to be married or have a family. I accidentally got pregnant when I was 2mo sober with the guy I was dating/used with/got sober with. We now have 3 kids, been sober 6 years & I truly believe it’s my purpose in life. I didn’t even know how to hold a baby or change a diaper & was terrified I wouldn’t like my child/he wouldn’t like me, but I’m obsessed with them, I absolutely love being a mom & it was the best thing that ever could’ve happened to me. And when I say nobody thought I’d take to motherhood, I mean my own mother was worried I wouldn’t stay sober or have the maternal instinct. But man, it’s truly an amazing journey.
I always assumed I would have children because everyone around me had kids, and they acted as if it were inevitable. When I hit 14 or so I realized, “Wait, this is completely optional!”
I told myself I would decide by 35. Started more seriously considering it around 28. Leaned towards not for me by 32. I decided for sure it was not for me when my dr presented me with the fact that I needed a hysterectomy at 34. I am almost 40 now and no regrets.
Never. My parents didn't have any business having children. Very grateful that I am as well adjusted as I am having grown up very very poor. I would never. I've already raised my three younger siblings. I have two decent jobs and am happily child-free by choice. It is hard enough to keep a roof over my head and groceries in my fridge with two jobs. I love children and I am very grateful to be able to enjoy my nieces and nephews and return them back to my siblings. Anybody who wishes to have children I wish you all the best of luck. For reference I live in the United States.
It wasn’t until around 37 that the desire actually hit me - it took meeting the right partner, someone who I knew I could rely on, who wouldn’t just become another child to take care of down the road.
I had my first and only kid at 39.
I wish I had the energy and body of my 20s going through pregnancy and the toddler days. However I’m happy it did it at this age for so many reasons
Stepping away from my career was something I knew I wanted instead of something that gave me inner conflict. Having life context to know myself better and be an emotionally present parent. Caring less about comparing myself to my peers. So many of my peers with older kids have commented things that allude to “I wish I had that wisdom when my kid was [whatever age my kid was at the time].”
I’ve always know I wanted them but kept putting it off due to bad financials, long work hours, and injuries. My life has been happy enough without kids. I’m 36 and actively trying now, which makes me feel both anxiety and ambivalence.
Have always said I do not understand why people would want kids, and I was a really good kid myself. Had an abortion at 21 while in college. Married now, and neither of us are really interested in it. My mother has asked me many times when she's getting a grandkid from me.... I keep telling her she has three beautiful furry grandkids. I simply don't feel the pull or desire for it, I have so many other dreams for my life. When I envision my life, children are never there in my image of the future.
25! Husband and I started talking about how fun it’d be to have a kiddo or two around, and we started working on goals we wanted to complete before I’d ever give birth. I’m 28 now, we paid off all debt except our mortgage and we have a beautiful ten month old girl :)
35 for me— I’ll be 37 this year. I went my whole life absolutely against it. Had some medical issues and my feelings slowly bloomed into wanting something of both my husband and I.
I've wanted to be a mom for almost as long as I can remember.
I definitely had internal conflict about being very left and progressive while also feeling like one of my life purposes is to have a happy family with children who are loved, nurtured, and cared for. It's not something my other friends my age can relate to, as none of them want marriage or children - which is great! No one should ever have a life they don't want to live.
It drives me nuts that the right has made people believe that being a mother and caring about family is an inherently republican trait.
I was 27 when I got pregnant. I had an IUD so it wasn't planned but I decided that I did actually want a child! She's 10 this year and she's amazing! ☺
I literally didn’t think about marriage and kid until I met my fiance. I knew pretty soon that I wanted to be with this guy for the rest of my life and have a little family with him.
I just never wanted them. I think I assumed I’d have to have them because it’s just what you did (and also religious conditioning) until probably late teens/early twenties and then I was just hard no. I think I could be open to adoption under very specific circumstances that are extremely unlikely to occur, but I’m fine being childfree
I’m a planner, and have given it extensive thought! I spent a good chunk of time in my 20s thinking I didn’t want children, then met my now-husband at 29 and realised I did! It’s a cliche, I know. Now 34, married, own a place, actively trying to conceive.
My answer may not qualify as I got pregnant at 21 but if i had my way it I think I would have waited until 25. I was in a stable relationship which made a difference, but I wish I had lived a little more first. I say 25 which may still be young by today's standards but it the idea of being pregnant in my 30s never appealed to me. I'm 36 now and nahhhh.
I’m not good with children, terrified of babies too… but… somehow, I one day became 30 and really wanting a kid. I guess it’s because I’ve reached my stability and found a good partner
i feel like i thought about it a lot through high school and college. Turning 24/25 while in a healthy committed relationship really kicked in the baby fever. I’m 26 and we’re in that process of getting ready. he is settling his career and building more stability financially, i’m working on preparing myself physically through exercise and resistance training, and both of us are building emotional regulation and communication skills to be as healthy as possible when we finally do have kids. I hope we can have our first by 30 all things considered.
I was 25 ish. Only now at 27 am I pregnant with my first because of 3 miscarriages.
I wanted to make sure my husband and I both had stable incomes, good health insurance, a functioning and safe car, and that we were mentally healthy/mature enough before trying to conceive.
Does this mean you should have all of these things before having kids? Not necessarily, but it’s definitely helpful when you don’t have to worry about money or having a partner that is of no help.
At 29 I shifted from childfree to on the fence and by 30 I knew I wanted a kid. Husband also somehow made the shift alongside me. Got pregnant the moment I went off BC and she’s 8 now.
At 21 I moved in with my ex and wanted kids asap. Possible for me meant no longer being a student and having an adult job, but before I was 26. Instead we broke up and I felt so grateful for not having them, that I went back and fourth about wanting kids all throughout my twenties with different men.
At 29 I met my partner and knew within a month I wanted kids with him. Discussed it from the moment I met him. We started when I was 31 and still now at 32.
I wanted it in my mid 20s but now I’m 28 with health issues which makes it impossible… I want it around 35 but scared so might just repress it unless I find someone that loves me
Around 25 I felt the clock and had a mini quarter life crisis. Starting questioning whether or not if I really wanted to have kids. Got into therapy and worked through the intense fear and anxiety of it to come to a peaceful acceptance that has blossomed into excitement for me and my husband on our decision to start a family. I felt therapy was a first, big step in uncovering the feelings I had surrounding motherhood. The next active step was me taking out my IUD in April 2025 (just turning 30). Fingers crossed!
31 or so! When we were planning our wedding, it was very much in my mind as the thing that comes next and I think I started prenatals around then. IUD out at 32, pregnant at 35. Thanks for the memories, infertility 🫠
23/24. I got married just before I turned 24 but had known for YEARS that I wanted kids. We started saving and planning while enjoying our first year of marriage. I found out I was pregnant 2 days after my 25th birthday.
Please be aware that due to Reddit's formatting tools, some users may view your comment starting with a number followed by a period as "1.", regardless of what number you typed. To fix this, simply remove the period.
Your comment has not been removed from the sub for this reason, this is just a helpful bot tip. Please report this comment if not applicable so a human can remove it.
I am in a situation right now, where I didn’t know that my fertility is in a terrible place and I have a limited amount of time to try to get pregnant. Right now I’m in my early 30s and this is not what I want, but this is what I have to do. It’s extremely stressful and pressuring, but I would regret not trying now.
At 16 I actively thought I did not want any kids ever when my dad made some offhand comment at dinner that he thought my first child would be a son. At 28 or so I thought, hmm, actually maybe? But then my friend got pregnant, there wasn’t much hope of either marrying rich or getting rich myself (I live in a HCOL region) and by 30 after watching my friend try to parent I had re-arrived at my 16 year old opinion.
By 29 I was getting my body strong for baby process, and hoping. When I turned 30, we were newly married, like a week. We talked about waiting a little longer. We were still doing the deed so if anything happened it was okay with us. Then I went into the gyno August, did all the tests for hormones and ovulations, September 2024, was told I had polyps in the way and needed them removed. November 25th 2024 polyp removal and D&C. December 6th, 2024 diagnosed with endometrial cancer. All the hope was gone. The cost to save eggs wasn't affordable. February 25th 2025 partial hysterectomy. (I have ovaries only.) I was 32 and the future with a family, obsolete.
I added the extra part mostly for, if you are seeing this and are thinking of having kids, make sure your parts work to have the options given to you earlier. The tests aren't just them doing a pap smear, its more invasive but worth it.
27 and I've just started to think about getting set up to have them in the next few years. Thinking about things like moving to a bigger house and what the childcare arrangement would be etc.
I was always kind of grossed out by the idea of having kids but then one random day at 28 it hit me that I wanted kids and my main purpose is to be a mom.🤷♀️got pregnant soon after that realization.
I’m 30 and I’m starting to feel that I will be ready in the next year or two. I became an aunt last year and that has definitely played a role in both my husband and I feeling more “ready.”
Actively thinking, never. I want to adopt somewhere down the line but I'm 24, will never have a partner and don't have a job yet. Would also want to get into uni and graduate before even thinking about it. Safe to say I might never get to be a mom.
I’ve always wanted kids and knew if I didn’t get married by 35 I’d work towards adoption or fostering. Got married at 32 and we waited a year before trying. Now at 38 I have two kids and am waiting for my husband to be ready to have a their and final one. Motherhood isn’t for everyone but it is for me and I love it.
I always knew I’d like to be a mother, this was never a question for me. I was ready around 27-28, but my relationship wasn’t ready and ended when I was 32. Now I am 36 and became a single mom by choice last year. Love doesn’t have a time constraint, fertility does. It is incredible, I have never been happier. The only thing I regret is that I could’ve had more years with her had I recognized my dead end relationship earlier. That being said, I am glad that I am this age. I am wiser, give fewer craps, have a career, money, and a loyal and close village of friends and family that I know we can count on. It’s fantastic and I wouldnt have had that in my twenties.
I started thinking about it seriously when I was around 27. Jumped into a relationship with someone I thought was a pragmatic choice (older, established career, owned a home), but he turned out to be a very angry man.
Didn’t leave as quickly as I should have because I was panicking about having kids because I have PCOS and will need extra time and intervention to get pregnant.
Now I’m 33 and waiting for a surgery to remove polyps before I start trying in earnest. I’m in a relationship with the love of my life and have been for the past 2.5 years. I’m so glad everything worked out the way it did because our meeting was very coincidental, so the timing of everything else led me here.
I really hope I can get pregnant but I’m pretty scared I won’t be able to! I know I have time but it’s hard to feel like it’s possible when I’ve never come close to getting pregnant in the past (don’t seem to ovulate regularly or at all).
But I’ve been doing a lot of reflection and I just hate myself, I hate where I’m at in life, although I’m pretty financially stable and have a good career. I lack a support system, family, and I have no friends. I’m single, haven’t dated in over 2 years (so many emotionally unavailable men out there….why is it so hard to find someone secure or working towards security?), so this makes me feel like a failure.
I often think about if I will be a good mother. I also don’t have had much exposure to children, so idk how to communicate to them. But I understand with a supportive partner, it’ll be a learning process and I’m not always going to be perfect.
I’m literally afraid to have children because I witnessed my single mom raising all 4 of us by herself. The mental and physical abuse in our household was out of frustration and lack of support for her. I totally understand where she’s coming from, and why she did what she did. She was surviving, but it didn’t make it right. I’m the black sheep and scapegoat of the family, so my relationship with her is unhealthy, but I still love her.
I’m not sure if I want my children to be around my family. Idk if I could even tell them I’m pregnant, if and when the time comes, because it just seems too vulnerable. We’ve never said “I love you” or hugged, I have no memory of us doing any of that. I have a lot of resentment towards her and my siblings.
But I also don’t want the above to influence my decision towards having a family. I definitely want children, but I don’t want it to be my dream goal, I want it to be an addition to my life. It’s just a really scary decision, with all of the above…
Please be aware that due to Reddit's formatting tools, some users may view your comment starting with a number followed by a period as "1.", regardless of what number you typed. To fix this, simply remove the period.
Your comment has not been removed from the sub for this reason, this is just a helpful bot tip. Please report this comment if not applicable so a human can remove it.
I've thought about children my whole life. as a kid I would even think about what I would do differently when I felt like my parents were not fair or humane with punishments. I am only 21 but I think children have always been on my mind for the future at some point.
I always knew I wanted some! Got pregnant accidentally at 26, boyfriend kind of forced me to have an abortion and I didn’t want to be a single mum, took me quite a while to get over, then when my best friend got pregnant a few years ago (I was 31) I really put a lot more thought into it and researched quite a bit 😅 now I have a boyfriend, but he is probably not able to have kids ☹️
I never felt maternal. Had never held a baby. Didn’t know if I would be a good mum. But somehow I knew I did want to be a mum my whole life, especially around age 20. I knew I only wanted one after reading an article about a very happy triangle family who could put all their resources into one child. Eventually had one and only at 28 which I think was a great age. Had a fairly good job and my body was in great shape and I snapped back. Turning 30 had a bigger impact on my body than having a baby
Hello /u/BetterHalfPint. Please read this entire message before taking action.
Your post or comment has been removed because your Reddit Karma is too low to participate on AskWomen.
You will be able to participate when your Karma has increased, you can do that by participating in good faith in other subreddits that don't have Karma requirements. This action cannnot be undone by the moderators.
Hello /u/Ok_Pen9844. Please read this entire message before taking action.
Your post or comment has been removed because your Reddit Karma is too low to participate on AskWomen.
You will be able to participate when your Karma has increased, you can do that by participating in good faith in other subreddits that don't have Karma requirements. This action cannnot be undone by the moderators.
29 (my current age), in fact I started reallyyyyy thinking about them a few months ago and can’t get the idea out of my head. Husband and I know we want them, but can’t decide whether we should start trying in a year or so or hold off for a few more years.
when my husband had been dating for a couple years and started renting our first house together, probably around 24, is when I really got excited thinking about kids. he had a timeline in mind though; get married, buy a house, do the adult things first, which I’m glad for now. now I’m 28, we’ve done all the things, and we’re expecting our first!
Around 28.
Up until then I didn’t want to hear about it but then some flip switched and boom,I needed a kid asap. But seriously thinking about how many and when? When I met my husband. I knew I want kids with him. Did not know how many and when just that it’s gotta be him and soon haha
At 19 years old I wanted my drs to remove my uterus for my endometriosis pain. When they offered it to me at 20 years old, I told them where they could shove it. Not sure I want kids or not, but they’re sure as hell not taking away the option when there’s better treatment options
33F here. I've always thought about the option since I was young cuz my mom is a nurse and works in the OB/GYN field. I always felt that I could go either way depending on what my partner would want. I don't need kids to feel fulfilled in life but it's definitely a different road to go down and changes everything. I'm okay either way. It's complicated with my husband right now but he always was adamant about wanting children so I agreed under certain conditions. We've both taken some steps towards that (he got a better paying job in a field with a future and I got another job to act as savings, as well as started putting money in 401k/Roth IRA). We aren't anywhere near ready though as I said it's complicated and specifically the conditions I agreed to haven't been met.
Decided we wanted kids (after being on the fence for quite a long time) at 32. Had our first kiddo at 34 and our second will be arriving at 36. Younger me would be surprised that we decided to have any, let alone two!
I've always known that I wanted children, since I was a child myself. I started actively making choices to support the lifestyle I wanted when I was a teen. Going to college, planning a career, dating with intention, etc etc. I'm 31 and we're trying now but I have endometriosis and ironically have likely been infertile since I was 13! The universe works in weird and frustrating ways.
I (rightly) knew in my twenties that my reproductive health was fucked and I would need medical intervention first before being able to have kids.
It took my partner getting transferred to the US for that to finally happen as Canadian healthcare makes it basically impossible to get treated for endometriosis.
After getting surgery 2.5 years ago to clean some of my stage 4 endometriosis and to remove the 7.5 cm uterine fibroid I had growing, treatment for my hypothyroidism, and regular pelvic floor therapy to fix my fucked up pelvic floor/lower back we are finally starting to try. It's very scary and nerve-wracking going off of birth control, and if I don't get pregnant within 3 months we'll be going directly to fertility treatments as it is unwise for me to be off birth control for so long with the amount of endometrial lesions I have.
It's definitely been a process and it took me a long time to recover and feel well enough to get to this point.
Impulsively decided during a baby fever episode to start trying with my high school sweetheart at age 20 (we had been together since 16 and had a very solid relationship entirely and had been married for over a year before attempting to conceive.) I know it was somewhat irresponsible at time simply due to our age, but I do also realize if I had waited until the right moment I truly would never have had a child. We did fine financially at 20 and my job was very flexible- I’ve been able to work remotely and care for my daughter the past 8 years so it did work out, but I didn’t have that all prepared before trying to conceive and I should have. Definitely grateful it worked out though. My husband and I realized after having our daughter that the one and done life is for us and we’ve enjoyed it so much ☺️ Before we had our daughter we talked about having two or three children, three being our max. We have literally never wavered on being one and done though after her birth and he got his vasectomy when Roe V Wade was overturned.
Always knew kids were in the cards for my husband and I, but used multiple birth control methods to prevent starting a family until we were ready. Started talking seriously about when to start trying when I was around 27, maybe. Shortly before I turned 29 I got my IUD out and was pregnant a few months later.
I always wanted kids. I seriously planned for them after I got married. Around 26. Discussed with my husband what we needed to do to prepare. I got a better job, we went on a few big holidays, paid our house off a bit more, discussed our contingencies if we had fertility issues in advance and saved to prepare for mat leave, then we started trying. I had my first kid by 29.
Even when i was young and hated kids I knew I'd want my own eventually. I always thought having my first at 28 would be ideal, and that I'd only want two.
Thankfully I found the loml at 21 and we were on the same page. Had our kids at 28 and 30
But I was just very lucky. I know we don't all find a good partner at the right time
I have always loved kids, but the idea of giving birth always upset me, and admittedly I was grossed out by pregnancy. The idea of someone growing and kicking inside me felt like a horror movie.
Then at 27 I met a (now ex)-boyfriend who I genuinely wanted to build a life with. Several of my friends had babies that year, and seeing those children changed the concept from "having a baby" to "having a baby WITH (Ex)." I envisioned this child as OUR child who had both our features and personalities. It became more real, and the first time I thought, "Oh wait, that seems really fulfilling."
But that ex HATED kids. He was the type of child-free guy who loudly complained when a baby was crying and laughed when a toddler fell over in public.
One day I went to the store with my pregnant friend to help her pick out a stroller. As we were in baby aisle looking at the clothes and toys, I realized that if I stayed with Ex then this would NEVER happen for me. I would never be picking out a stroller, planning outfits, choosing a name, going on a shopping run with another friend to talk about my own pregnancy. I felt such a profound sense of mourning that I cried as soon as I got home. If I stayed in that relationship, the door to that future would be completely shut in my face.
Started thinking/planning at 27 early in the year, and started trying at the end of the year (just turned 28). Got pregnant super quick and now my husband and I have a beautiful 6mo baby girl. Hands down the best decision I’ve ever made😊 my hearts never been more full
I sort of always had in the back of my mind that one day I’ll have a family, but i lived through my 20s pretty yolo and was constantly deeply into my current love drama, no real future thinking.
Then I got a huge existential crisis at 27, I have had been single for one year at that point, and started panicking that I would get old and not have time to marry and have kids.
At 29 I met my now husband and last year we had our first baby - I will turn 33 this year.
I’m twenty-four and I’ve never really felt a strong urge to have children. Still, I can imagine that I might want kids someday. It’s interesting to notice this and to see whether that feeling ever appears.
I believe that where you are in life plays a role, and maybe when you reach a more stable position, the desire will start to grow. Can anyone confirm or deny this?
Is it an urge that appears one day, or is it more of a decision you make?
The first time i knew i wanted kids was at 6 years old. I had an amazing mother and grandmother who i look up to even today. Once I found my soulmate at 21yo. I asked him if he would want kids he said i already have one but am interested if the right person comes along. We actively started to try when i was 24 years old and that is the age I conceived. I’m currently 30 weeks pregnant at the age of 25. It took from June 24 to June 25 for me to convince.
Got married at 28 and we knew we wanted kids but wanted to wait a couple years. Started trying to conceive at 30. I’m 32 now and no positive tests yet.
When I was in high school I said I wanted 2 but that was before I realized all that goes into caring for them.
Early to mid Twenties - swore I would never have children
I'm 29 and three quarters and I am aware that if children are supposed to be in my life they will be but I ALWAYS have my birth control in action lol
I don't like my sleep (or anything else for that matter) interrupted. My world revolves around me and I like it that way. But I know if I were to have a child I could successfully parent. People always tell me I'd be a great mom.
I really didn't ever think about it and that should have been a big sign. When I was in my mid 20s I thought about having kids and even went through that period of baby fever, but I broke up with my then partner and it went away.
I did spend time questioning if they were in my future and I really did go back and forth. But I never felt settled enough. I think a big part of having children or planning to have children is actually going through with the plan. Sometimes planning is just another way of pushing things off and pretending you have "goals."
I wanted kids all my life, but I didn't start actively working on it until 31 yrs old (close to 32). I had been in university prior to that so wasn't trying to conceive. I started working with a fertility doctor (I have PCOS), taking meds to ovulate, coming off antidepressants, quitting vices as much as possible. It took about 9 months of all that before I became pregnant. Gave birth at 33 yrs old. Lost the baby full term. So now I will be 34 (hopefully) at the next birth when we are finally able to really start growing our family. I want 3-4 kids so we will see how that goes at the age I'm at.
At like 27 I started to seriously think if I wanted children or not. I did some research, observed the life of parents (especially moms) around me and noticed how burned out they all were. I also did a lot of introspection and realised quickly that having a kid is not for me. I am someone that needs a lot of silence and time alone to recharge and function properly in society and I absolutely love my freedom. It’s actually the most important thing to me. I decided that I never wanted to have kids and in my 30s now I’m happier than ever about this decision. A lot of my girl friends are either trying or having kids now and, while I am a supportive friend, I am so glad that it’s not me. They are so miserable.
I never really thought about it growing up until mid 30’s (40 now) - I was busy living my own life, traveling the world, surviving, building my successful creative business.
IF I’d happen to get pregnant (I have a great partner who is comfortable financially, I would be SAHM) I’d become an amazing mother.
But if not, I find fulfilment in all other aspects of life. I refuse to work full time and raise a family, that sounds terribly exhausting.
Having children is not a deal breaker of happiness in life, and “god” has given us free will.
Got married at 27. Stopped birth control pills 3 months before the wedding so they would be out of my system by the wedding. Jokes on me, baby didnt show up until I was 32.
I’ve been on and off about wanting kids for years, but really started wanting them around 30. Had some terrible boyfriends, then met the most perfect man at 31, married at 32 and I’m now pregnant at 33 with twins. They will likely be our only children as I am not sure I enjoy pregnancy and 2-3 was the amount I wanted anyway.
I only wanted to have kids with the right man, though. I would have been pretty content being an aunt and living a single life, but I love my husband and he is going to be a great dad. He is the best partner, friend and lover I could have ever imagined.
I think kids are a huge risk and investment and while I’m excited for them, I’m really aware that it isn’t going to be easy or fun all the time. My pregnancy is progressing well, and I’m hoping for good outcomes. The idea of a life without kids makes me sad now, and I’m looking forward to a whole life of making them into good people and giving them as an amazing a childhood as I can. I am looking forward to seeing how they grow and mature and what they will be like. I don’t have crazy expectations, but plan to give them every opportunity to succeed that we can. I feel very fortunate that we will be able to do that for them.
Never actively. I’ve thought “what if,” but ultimately, my life is just not compatible with having or raising children. So, I won’t be actively considering or taking steps to do so.
Around 31/32 when I was finally with someone I could see having a family with. Before that I wasn’t really sure I’d be a mom. We started trying when I was 34. After years of nothing, we got serious and did IVF. I got pregnant and had my daughter when I was 39.
I wanted kids since I was 19. Just started trying at the end of last year (I was 35).
I wasn't mentally or financially stable enough for kids before this point. I'm kind of glad I waited but also a bit worried I might have waited too long. I'll find out haha
When I was really young, I thought I did not want kids at all. When I turned about 20 I realized I wanted kids but was absolutely not responsible or sober enough to have them. At 25 I ABSOLUTELY want a baby so, so bad. But I also know we are not quite ready to take that step yet. My goal is to be married by 28 and trying for kids at 29/30.
After my divorce at 31 and a subsequent job working with teenagers I thought I was definitely going to be child free. Now at 36 I’m actively considering it, but the economy and my job stability is so screwed I don’t see how I can.
I turned 30 this past August. Spent my entire life actively pursuing a “no kids” lifestyle, even found a husband that has no interest in having kids. However the want to have kids has been so strong recently I think I might give in.
I started actively thinking about it around the time I got engaged when I was 28. I went off of birth control when I got home from my honeymoon. Been trying ever since. I'm 30 now
Probably when my now-husband and I hit a few months together in college.
We were talking about what we wanted for the future and knew we both wanted 1-2 kids, wanted to be married for a few years before trying, and wanted to get married the summer after I finished grad school and got my first adult job. We're both public school teachers and have been married for 2 years.
I'm currently working on weight-loss (20 pounds down) to get healthy and my husband is working on our long-term savings plan! If things keep going our way we should be set to have a baby in 2028-ish
I was 24 when the wish for a kid basically hit me like a truck. I was sure to never want one beforehand. But oh well, now I am 34, still childless and pretty much gave up on that by this point.
I never really pictured myself as someone's mom but people always told me that eventually, I would get baby fever and want to become a mother. It hasn't happened and I'm pretty sure I'm immune to baby fever.
I started thinking about it at age 35 and went straight to a fertility specialist knowing that I wasn’t able to get pregnant on my own (pcos). Got pregnant and delivered at 36
20 I think. I never resonate with the idea of getting married/giving birth, but I've always wanted to adopt kids. Now I'm 25 and I'll do it when I'm ready.
We got married this year, so going to start soon. So less age and more once we were in a serious relationship. I didn't want to wait too long, so 30ish
Right after we got married at 30, we started TTC. I had wanted to be established in my career and be done with my degrees before having kids, yet not too old. I had my first baby two weeks before turning 32
I’ve always wanted to be a mom. In my early twenties/college days I thought I’d start having a family by 27. Life has been too expensive for that but by the time I decided waiting may not be wise, due to my genetics, I was 30. We tried for 2 years and nothing. I gave up and was pretty sure my genetics were doing the thing I’d thought they’d do. And yep. Found out last summer I have fibroids and am now on a journey (race) to get rid of them in time to pop a few out before it’s too late, if I’m lucky. So I guess my steps are a bunch of ultrasounds leading to surgery at 34?
I’ve actively been avoiding getting pregnant since 19. (Didn’t know for sure if I wanted kids ever or not at that time but was leaning towards no) At 28 I started thinking about the pros to a hysterectomy due to family cancers. Just had the hysterectomy at 35 and can remain child free!
I'd always wanted children. I always loved babysitting & caring for my younger sibling.
I remember being a new grad, maybe 22, and discussing with a friend how I was going to balance grad school, career and babies. (Funny how young women think of these things in advance, and no 22-year-old guy does).
In the end, I was "delayed" by two terrible relationships. But I finally found my one & had kids in my 30s.
I started thinking about it at 25. Last year in January at 28 we came up with the “timeline”. We discussed the feasibility of having kids without owning a house and if we even want a house (I don’t). I’m currently 12 1/2 weeks pregnant.
When I finally met someone that made me want the whole thing, house and kids, so 30. I've always liked kids but my previous partners were all a no cause I knew i'd do everything all by myself.
I've known I wanted to be child free forever since I was a child myself, this hasn't changed a bit! If I accidentally end up pregnant it's gonna be aborted 🤷🏻
I’ve always thought I never wanted children, I’m now 26 and hate that I’ve proved people ‘right’ that I’m thinking I do want them now. I’ve always struggled with the pregnancy aspect - I’m worried about what the changes to my body will do to my headspace and that it’ll be traumatic but I also really want to have children with my partner and have a family. Before him, I was with someone that I couldn’t see myself having kids with but with my now partner I know he would be an amazing dad and we would have a wonderful life expanding our family together. I’m pro adoption but I think my partner would prefer biological children (obviously easier for a man to want this lmao). I’d want to be thinking of having them by 30, as long as we have a house & marriage (personal choice) but I am scared about it too.
Probably about 13 years old when my cousin was born. Currently 25 and my goal is to pay off my student loans so I can save for a place to live and then start ❤️
Ever since I was a teen and the thought of being a mom one day came upon me I knew I wanted it. I just thought it was such a sweet loving part of life. My mom is the sweetest and so gentle and I always hoped I could bring my child the same love and generosity.
I started having severe pain in my uterus years ago, had to drop out of work and uni. Doctors couldn’t figure out what was wrong and didn’t care to really investigate. They diagnosed me with just different chronic illnesses eventually after making sure I wasn’t just stressed “having anxiety”. But I always thought something more was wrong. My whole body was just failing me. I had severe fatigue, on and off fevers all day, and many other weird symptoms. I saw multiple specialists all from gynos to infectious disease specialist and was dismissed by all
A few months ago it turned out I had an infection in my uterus and ovaries the whole time and it had spread to other organs. I’m left with scarring and other issues now, and I can’t have children. I’m in my mid 20s. The worst part honestly isn’t being able to not have children’s but now left fully disabled due to complications. I rely on my mom now to be my full caretaker
I always knew I’d be a mum, but not at the expense of the rest of my life: university, career, life plans were important too.
I met my now husband at 27, and we had our kids when I was 33 and 35. My only regret about the timing was that we didn’t meet younger and have more pre-kid time together, but I am glad I had kids when I did. I’m 42 now and the thought of having a baby now is 🤯 (although having had two rough pregnancies probably has a lot to do with that!)
For us, we had gotten married, bought a house and been on our honeymoon all in 6 months, and after that we just stopped trying to avoid pregnancy. I don’t think you can ever be ready to have a baby, but you can get to the point where getting pregnant and having a baby would be life changing in a good way, instead of in a bad way.
I always knew I wanted to be a mom so I've been pretty much always thinking about it. So taking steps for me included finding a partner and telling him from the very beginning that I wanted kids in the future and that I wanted to become a mom in my twenties. Had my daughter 1 day before my 26th birthday and so far she is the best thing that ever happened to me. 🩷
25! I told myself once I turned 25 I'd start figuring out what I wanted. 29 now and I have since decided I'm a no for kids.
Irresponsibly and accidently got pregnant at 26. Got an abortion, decided I, in fact, wanted to be a mom. Started trying at 29. Now 36 and I have two kids, and two step kids.
Similar - I had an accidental pregnancy and abortion at 24. It wasn’t the right time, but it did solidify for me that I’d want kids in the future, and very likely with that partner.
We got married a few years later and started trying in our early 30’s, and I had twins at 32. Our family is very complete now, and we won’t be having any more kids.
My partner at the time, unfortunately, did not want to be a father. I loved him very dearly but I wasn't willing to give up my dream to be a mother. I got into a relationship with someone who said we could try to have kids. He thought he was sterile and he was lying about it to make me think it would be possible. Welp, 8 months later, he found out he wasn't sterile at all! We did not stay together but we co parent and are close friends and family. We see each other and talk to each other everyday. He has a new partner and another child with her. After becoming a single mother, three years later I decided I wanted another and essentially found a sperm donor type situation. Dad isn't involved at all nor on the birth certificate. I was a single parent until my daughter was 2 and my son was 5. In two weeks I am getting married to someone who was my friend through all of this and has 3 kids of his own (whom he has full custody). I got my tubes tied so I cannot have more kids but 5, I think is enough. Although, I would be tempted had I not got the operation. haha.
Absolutely never. I never wanted babies and I would have been a terrible mother. I'm almost 60 now and this is one of the few choices I made correctly in life.
Bless you for being self-aware. You see that so little nowadays. As a young woman seeing this from a woman generations before me, it is a hopeful sign that I too will not live to regret the decision not have children. I will again reiterate that I do truly enjoy children however I am thankful that I do not have them and I do not intend on having them. I don't think that I would be a bad mother however, with my current lifestyle, working two jobs simply to get by, I couldn't even imagine bringing a child into that existence. Also that, and all of my mom friends are living beyond exhaustion and many have felt that they've lost themselves. That's a terrifying prospect and I get warned about it all the time
love that you made a good choice for you 💜
Same, except that I'm 40. I'm an aunt, and I'm cool with that
At 19, I was first diagnosed with cervical cancer and I was offered a full hysterectomy...this forced the decision of whether I wanted to preserve my ability to have biological children, or not. I chose conservative management and delayed the choice to have children for another day. With maturity and experience, though, I came to realize I did not want children at all. As I exit my childbearing years, I feel secure that I made the right choice.
13 yrs old. I knew I didn’t want kids.
Same
Actively thinking? I was 25 and I told my husband i wanted to give our oldest a sibling. As for steps, no more birth control, I did that temperature taking and mucus viscosity method to find out when I was fertile and have more sex during that time period.
Worked a bit too well, we had triplets.
[removed]
So sorry you had to go through that. I had a miscarriage when we first started trying, nearly broke me then latter that year, i decided I was ready to try again, it worked.
omg! how was it finding that out?
Shock, disbelief, terror. My husband nearly fainted, all I could do was do a small, scared laugh.
Thats so interesting. My friend has thought she and her husband would be childfree as they decided to do so many years ago, but now at 35 she’s starting to reconsider. May I ask how changing your mind happened for you? And/or how I can support my friend?
I don’t fully understand it myself. I just kept feeling the absence of something (and I don’t even know if that’s the accurate words for it) for a while, but because I had thought I did not want kids, it was difficult for me to connect those dots. I have a fairly active social life and I was travelling, but I couldn’t shake this feeling. Then I started getting these vivid dreams where I was pregnant or a mom and I woke up feeling really good about it. That was so confusing. I had also put a lot of eggs in the “aunt” basket. But then when my niece was born, I kinda felt this sadness that she wasn’t mine?
The conversations with my friends started as being on the fence, but then as I was honest with myself, they were about wanting to pursue having a child. I also spoke to a therapist and it was kind of funny because she was just like “ya, people change their mind about things” and it was such a non-issue where as I kind of had a lot of shame/guilt since my partner was also not interested in having kids.
So for me a lot of it was navigating changing my mind with my partner. Eventually he did decide that he was on board (thank gawwwwd because I wasn’t sure what I would do if he wasn’t…I’m already 39…do I want it enough to go at it alone??? So many questions I thankfully didn’t have to get into).
I’m 40 now and pregnant. I’ll be 41 when this baby arrives if all goes well! I just got really really lucky and was able to get pregnant “naturally”. I’m sure there will be days where I will question my choices but overall I am pumped for this next phase of life!!! And I would have thought future me was crazy if she rolled into my life even at 38 to say that I would want to be a mom.
Thanks for coming to my ted talk.
Edit: as for supporting your friend, I think just emphasizing that people change over time and it is super normal to change your mind about things! We can’t hold ourselves to past versions of ourselves.
That’s crazy! My boss’s SIL went through the same thing at the exact same ages as you. She did in vitro though, and is now 41 with twins!
It is a wild ride for sure! And I’m learning I’m not the only one. But I also have lots of friends who continue to be childfree by choice further in their 40s and even 50s.
Would also love to hear more about how your mind changed. I’m mid 30s and am very torn tbh. I can’t decide one way or another. I can see both lives being meaningful.
Same
I was 29.
It was a slow road for us, as the first step in our plan was to save money to buy our own place. Baby was born right after I turned 36.
Me too always wanted kids. Waited till we bought our first home and built our careers. I think it’s the smart move but we are now actively trying close to 35
Hope it happens soon!
We started trying a month after I turned 35, doctor said it could take a while because I had just had my Mirena removed after 7 years. I got pregnant on the third month of trying!
I’m 29 and still very conflicted. I also don’t have a serious partner and it can be tough to figure out how to navigate finding one when I don’t know what the goal is
I'm 32 and have been married for a few years now. I've always been open to adopting and no to bio babies, but the husband would like bio babies. I'm also conflicted because the husband is okay with adoption and has made it clear it's up to me, but I don't know. I'm torn between doing it for his happiness, but also my own reasons for not wanting to carry.
I can't offer anything, but I'm also conflicted, just in a different way. I hope we both get through this dilemma.
I feel the same way. There’s severe mental health problems in my family, if I had a bio child that had them I don’t think I could forgive myself. My partner understands this because of the reason
I got sober at 25, always disliked kids & never wanted to be married or have a family. I accidentally got pregnant when I was 2mo sober with the guy I was dating/used with/got sober with. We now have 3 kids, been sober 6 years & I truly believe it’s my purpose in life. I didn’t even know how to hold a baby or change a diaper & was terrified I wouldn’t like my child/he wouldn’t like me, but I’m obsessed with them, I absolutely love being a mom & it was the best thing that ever could’ve happened to me. And when I say nobody thought I’d take to motherhood, I mean my own mother was worried I wouldn’t stay sober or have the maternal instinct. But man, it’s truly an amazing journey.
Congrats on your sobriety journey 🎉
33 or 34. We adopted and got our match a month before my 36th birthday.
I always assumed I would have children because everyone around me had kids, and they acted as if it were inevitable. When I hit 14 or so I realized, “Wait, this is completely optional!”
I have been childfree since
Never, considered it briefly when I had a scare but all roads led to no children in my future
I told myself I would decide by 35. Started more seriously considering it around 28. Leaned towards not for me by 32. I decided for sure it was not for me when my dr presented me with the fact that I needed a hysterectomy at 34. I am almost 40 now and no regrets.
I'm in the boat of hysterectomy in early 30s too.
Hope you have recovered well and found peace in the journey in that boat with me. It was a big mental adjustment for me in the beginning.
I’m 25 now and I just recently started thinking about wanting kids. I’m not in a relationship currently but I’d like to start by the time I’m 30.
Last month lol - I'm 35, wish me luck!
Good luck!!! I think you’ve got plenty of time!
Never. My parents didn't have any business having children. Very grateful that I am as well adjusted as I am having grown up very very poor. I would never. I've already raised my three younger siblings. I have two decent jobs and am happily child-free by choice. It is hard enough to keep a roof over my head and groceries in my fridge with two jobs. I love children and I am very grateful to be able to enjoy my nieces and nephews and return them back to my siblings. Anybody who wishes to have children I wish you all the best of luck. For reference I live in the United States.
[removed]
It wasn’t until around 37 that the desire actually hit me - it took meeting the right partner, someone who I knew I could rely on, who wouldn’t just become another child to take care of down the road. I had my first and only kid at 39.
I wish I had the energy and body of my 20s going through pregnancy and the toddler days. However I’m happy it did it at this age for so many reasons
Stepping away from my career was something I knew I wanted instead of something that gave me inner conflict. Having life context to know myself better and be an emotionally present parent. Caring less about comparing myself to my peers. So many of my peers with older kids have commented things that allude to “I wish I had that wisdom when my kid was [whatever age my kid was at the time].”
I’ve always know I wanted them but kept putting it off due to bad financials, long work hours, and injuries. My life has been happy enough without kids. I’m 36 and actively trying now, which makes me feel both anxiety and ambivalence.
23/24 when I realized I do want kids. Will take steps to do so after I am married in the fall. Marriage before kids is/was a non negotiable for me.
Thinking started at 25, planning to start taking steps at 30
I was 30 when I decided to try to get pregnant. My husband would have been ready 4 years earlier. We then had 3 kids in 5 years.
Same situation but we stopped at one :)
I’m in my early 30s and only now open to children. I won’t be sad if I don’t have any, but I won’t immediately abort if I get pregnant at this age
Have always said I do not understand why people would want kids, and I was a really good kid myself. Had an abortion at 21 while in college. Married now, and neither of us are really interested in it. My mother has asked me many times when she's getting a grandkid from me.... I keep telling her she has three beautiful furry grandkids. I simply don't feel the pull or desire for it, I have so many other dreams for my life. When I envision my life, children are never there in my image of the future.
Thinking, 30-35, but didn’t have a partner and didn’t have money to freeze eggs. Taking steps at 39.
im 26 & still dont know but i do know i dont want one before the next 5 or so years so i told myself i’d decide for sure at like 29/30
25! Husband and I started talking about how fun it’d be to have a kiddo or two around, and we started working on goals we wanted to complete before I’d ever give birth. I’m 28 now, we paid off all debt except our mortgage and we have a beautiful ten month old girl :)
35 for me— I’ll be 37 this year. I went my whole life absolutely against it. Had some medical issues and my feelings slowly bloomed into wanting something of both my husband and I.
I've wanted to be a mom for almost as long as I can remember.
I definitely had internal conflict about being very left and progressive while also feeling like one of my life purposes is to have a happy family with children who are loved, nurtured, and cared for. It's not something my other friends my age can relate to, as none of them want marriage or children - which is great! No one should ever have a life they don't want to live.
It drives me nuts that the right has made people believe that being a mother and caring about family is an inherently republican trait.
I was 27 when I got pregnant. I had an IUD so it wasn't planned but I decided that I did actually want a child! She's 10 this year and she's amazing! ☺
I literally didn’t think about marriage and kid until I met my fiance. I knew pretty soon that I wanted to be with this guy for the rest of my life and have a little family with him.
I just never wanted them. I think I assumed I’d have to have them because it’s just what you did (and also religious conditioning) until probably late teens/early twenties and then I was just hard no. I think I could be open to adoption under very specific circumstances that are extremely unlikely to occur, but I’m fine being childfree
I’m a planner, and have given it extensive thought! I spent a good chunk of time in my 20s thinking I didn’t want children, then met my now-husband at 29 and realised I did! It’s a cliche, I know. Now 34, married, own a place, actively trying to conceive.
Everyone cross your fingers for me!!
26-27. Had been married 4 years before having our first!
My answer may not qualify as I got pregnant at 21 but if i had my way it I think I would have waited until 25. I was in a stable relationship which made a difference, but I wish I had lived a little more first. I say 25 which may still be young by today's standards but it the idea of being pregnant in my 30s never appealed to me. I'm 36 now and nahhhh.
I was 27 when I started wanting to have kids, and 29 when I actually started trying.
I was 27 when I started wanting to have kids, and 29 when I actually started trying.
the general consensus seems to be 25 as a 25 year old, i agree
27! Started saving money that year in a baby fund. Planning for children in my 30s.
I actively started desiring kids when I was 23. Now I’m 26 and we started trying a month ago.
26
I actively started desiring kids when I was 23. Now I’m 26 and we started trying a month ago.
I’m not good with children, terrified of babies too… but… somehow, I one day became 30 and really wanting a kid. I guess it’s because I’ve reached my stability and found a good partner
i feel like i thought about it a lot through high school and college. Turning 24/25 while in a healthy committed relationship really kicked in the baby fever. I’m 26 and we’re in that process of getting ready. he is settling his career and building more stability financially, i’m working on preparing myself physically through exercise and resistance training, and both of us are building emotional regulation and communication skills to be as healthy as possible when we finally do have kids. I hope we can have our first by 30 all things considered.
I was 25 ish. Only now at 27 am I pregnant with my first because of 3 miscarriages.
I wanted to make sure my husband and I both had stable incomes, good health insurance, a functioning and safe car, and that we were mentally healthy/mature enough before trying to conceive.
Does this mean you should have all of these things before having kids? Not necessarily, but it’s definitely helpful when you don’t have to worry about money or having a partner that is of no help.
23 and could never conceive 🥹
At 29 I shifted from childfree to on the fence and by 30 I knew I wanted a kid. Husband also somehow made the shift alongside me. Got pregnant the moment I went off BC and she’s 8 now.
At 21 I moved in with my ex and wanted kids asap. Possible for me meant no longer being a student and having an adult job, but before I was 26. Instead we broke up and I felt so grateful for not having them, that I went back and fourth about wanting kids all throughout my twenties with different men.
At 29 I met my partner and knew within a month I wanted kids with him. Discussed it from the moment I met him. We started when I was 31 and still now at 32.
I wanted it in my mid 20s but now I’m 28 with health issues which makes it impossible… I want it around 35 but scared so might just repress it unless I find someone that loves me
Around 25 I felt the clock and had a mini quarter life crisis. Starting questioning whether or not if I really wanted to have kids. Got into therapy and worked through the intense fear and anxiety of it to come to a peaceful acceptance that has blossomed into excitement for me and my husband on our decision to start a family. I felt therapy was a first, big step in uncovering the feelings I had surrounding motherhood. The next active step was me taking out my IUD in April 2025 (just turning 30). Fingers crossed!
ever since i was a small child, when people asked me what i wanna be when i grow up, i would say i want to be a mom
31 or so! When we were planning our wedding, it was very much in my mind as the thing that comes next and I think I started prenatals around then. IUD out at 32, pregnant at 35. Thanks for the memories, infertility 🫠
I'm 29 and it hasn't happened yet
23/24. I got married just before I turned 24 but had known for YEARS that I wanted kids. We started saving and planning while enjoying our first year of marriage. I found out I was pregnant 2 days after my 25th birthday.
25, had our first at 26.
Please be aware that due to Reddit's formatting tools, some users may view your comment starting with a number followed by a period as "1.", regardless of what number you typed. To fix this, simply remove the period.
Your comment has not been removed from the sub for this reason, this is just a helpful bot tip. Please report this comment if not applicable so a human can remove it.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
I am in a situation right now, where I didn’t know that my fertility is in a terrible place and I have a limited amount of time to try to get pregnant. Right now I’m in my early 30s and this is not what I want, but this is what I have to do. It’s extremely stressful and pressuring, but I would regret not trying now.
At 16 I actively thought I did not want any kids ever when my dad made some offhand comment at dinner that he thought my first child would be a son. At 28 or so I thought, hmm, actually maybe? But then my friend got pregnant, there wasn’t much hope of either marrying rich or getting rich myself (I live in a HCOL region) and by 30 after watching my friend try to parent I had re-arrived at my 16 year old opinion.
I was thinking about it when I was 21.
By 29 I was getting my body strong for baby process, and hoping. When I turned 30, we were newly married, like a week. We talked about waiting a little longer. We were still doing the deed so if anything happened it was okay with us. Then I went into the gyno August, did all the tests for hormones and ovulations, September 2024, was told I had polyps in the way and needed them removed. November 25th 2024 polyp removal and D&C. December 6th, 2024 diagnosed with endometrial cancer. All the hope was gone. The cost to save eggs wasn't affordable. February 25th 2025 partial hysterectomy. (I have ovaries only.) I was 32 and the future with a family, obsolete.
I added the extra part mostly for, if you are seeing this and are thinking of having kids, make sure your parts work to have the options given to you earlier. The tests aren't just them doing a pap smear, its more invasive but worth it.
endometrialcancerawareness
27 and I've just started to think about getting set up to have them in the next few years. Thinking about things like moving to a bigger house and what the childcare arrangement would be etc.
I was always kind of grossed out by the idea of having kids but then one random day at 28 it hit me that I wanted kids and my main purpose is to be a mom.🤷♀️got pregnant soon after that realization.
I’m 30 and I’m starting to feel that I will be ready in the next year or two. I became an aunt last year and that has definitely played a role in both my husband and I feeling more “ready.”
25 I came around to the idea of having kids so we started to try/not try. I’m 31 now with 1 child and that’s it for us.
Actively thinking, never. I want to adopt somewhere down the line but I'm 24, will never have a partner and don't have a job yet. Would also want to get into uni and graduate before even thinking about it. Safe to say I might never get to be a mom.
I’ve always wanted kids and knew if I didn’t get married by 35 I’d work towards adoption or fostering. Got married at 32 and we waited a year before trying. Now at 38 I have two kids and am waiting for my husband to be ready to have a their and final one. Motherhood isn’t for everyone but it is for me and I love it.
I always knew I’d like to be a mother, this was never a question for me. I was ready around 27-28, but my relationship wasn’t ready and ended when I was 32. Now I am 36 and became a single mom by choice last year. Love doesn’t have a time constraint, fertility does. It is incredible, I have never been happier. The only thing I regret is that I could’ve had more years with her had I recognized my dead end relationship earlier. That being said, I am glad that I am this age. I am wiser, give fewer craps, have a career, money, and a loyal and close village of friends and family that I know we can count on. It’s fantastic and I wouldnt have had that in my twenties.
I was 28. Had my first at 29.
Mid twenties. Had my first at 26.
I’ve wanted kids since I was 15, but never found the right person to have them with. I’m 32 and single now, but still hopeful.
I started thinking about it maybe when i was 30 (I’m 24 now)
I started thinking about it seriously when I was around 27. Jumped into a relationship with someone I thought was a pragmatic choice (older, established career, owned a home), but he turned out to be a very angry man. Didn’t leave as quickly as I should have because I was panicking about having kids because I have PCOS and will need extra time and intervention to get pregnant.
Now I’m 33 and waiting for a surgery to remove polyps before I start trying in earnest. I’m in a relationship with the love of my life and have been for the past 2.5 years. I’m so glad everything worked out the way it did because our meeting was very coincidental, so the timing of everything else led me here.
I really hope I can get pregnant but I’m pretty scared I won’t be able to! I know I have time but it’s hard to feel like it’s possible when I’ve never come close to getting pregnant in the past (don’t seem to ovulate regularly or at all).
Anyways wish me luck!
I’m 33 tomorrow and I’ve always wanted kids.
But I’ve been doing a lot of reflection and I just hate myself, I hate where I’m at in life, although I’m pretty financially stable and have a good career. I lack a support system, family, and I have no friends. I’m single, haven’t dated in over 2 years (so many emotionally unavailable men out there….why is it so hard to find someone secure or working towards security?), so this makes me feel like a failure.
I often think about if I will be a good mother. I also don’t have had much exposure to children, so idk how to communicate to them. But I understand with a supportive partner, it’ll be a learning process and I’m not always going to be perfect.
I’m literally afraid to have children because I witnessed my single mom raising all 4 of us by herself. The mental and physical abuse in our household was out of frustration and lack of support for her. I totally understand where she’s coming from, and why she did what she did. She was surviving, but it didn’t make it right. I’m the black sheep and scapegoat of the family, so my relationship with her is unhealthy, but I still love her.
I’m not sure if I want my children to be around my family. Idk if I could even tell them I’m pregnant, if and when the time comes, because it just seems too vulnerable. We’ve never said “I love you” or hugged, I have no memory of us doing any of that. I have a lot of resentment towards her and my siblings.
But I also don’t want the above to influence my decision towards having a family. I definitely want children, but I don’t want it to be my dream goal, I want it to be an addition to my life. It’s just a really scary decision, with all of the above…
28-29
Please be aware that due to Reddit's formatting tools, some users may view your comment starting with a number followed by a period as "1.", regardless of what number you typed. To fix this, simply remove the period.
Your comment has not been removed from the sub for this reason, this is just a helpful bot tip. Please report this comment if not applicable so a human can remove it.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
I've thought about children my whole life. as a kid I would even think about what I would do differently when I felt like my parents were not fair or humane with punishments. I am only 21 but I think children have always been on my mind for the future at some point.
I always knew I wanted some! Got pregnant accidentally at 26, boyfriend kind of forced me to have an abortion and I didn’t want to be a single mum, took me quite a while to get over, then when my best friend got pregnant a few years ago (I was 31) I really put a lot more thought into it and researched quite a bit 😅 now I have a boyfriend, but he is probably not able to have kids ☹️
I never felt maternal. Had never held a baby. Didn’t know if I would be a good mum. But somehow I knew I did want to be a mum my whole life, especially around age 20. I knew I only wanted one after reading an article about a very happy triangle family who could put all their resources into one child. Eventually had one and only at 28 which I think was a great age. Had a fairly good job and my body was in great shape and I snapped back. Turning 30 had a bigger impact on my body than having a baby
[removed]
[removed]
Hello /u/BetterHalfPint. Please read this entire message before taking action.
Your post or comment has been removed because your Reddit Karma is too low to participate on AskWomen.
You will be able to participate when your Karma has increased, you can do that by participating in good faith in other subreddits that don't have Karma requirements. This action cannnot be undone by the moderators.
No exceptions to this rule will be granted. Click here to read more about Reddit Karma, and please also read our rules before participating.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
[removed]
Hello /u/Ok_Pen9844. Please read this entire message before taking action.
Your post or comment has been removed because your Reddit Karma is too low to participate on AskWomen.
You will be able to participate when your Karma has increased, you can do that by participating in good faith in other subreddits that don't have Karma requirements. This action cannnot be undone by the moderators.
No exceptions to this rule will be granted. Click here to read more about Reddit Karma, and please also read our rules before participating.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
29 (my current age), in fact I started reallyyyyy thinking about them a few months ago and can’t get the idea out of my head. Husband and I know we want them, but can’t decide whether we should start trying in a year or so or hold off for a few more years.
[removed]
I always wanted a big family I have six ❤️
when my husband had been dating for a couple years and started renting our first house together, probably around 24, is when I really got excited thinking about kids. he had a timeline in mind though; get married, buy a house, do the adult things first, which I’m glad for now. now I’m 28, we’ve done all the things, and we’re expecting our first!
[removed]
Around 28. Up until then I didn’t want to hear about it but then some flip switched and boom,I needed a kid asap. But seriously thinking about how many and when? When I met my husband. I knew I want kids with him. Did not know how many and when just that it’s gotta be him and soon haha
At 19 years old I wanted my drs to remove my uterus for my endometriosis pain. When they offered it to me at 20 years old, I told them where they could shove it. Not sure I want kids or not, but they’re sure as hell not taking away the option when there’s better treatment options
33F here. I've always thought about the option since I was young cuz my mom is a nurse and works in the OB/GYN field. I always felt that I could go either way depending on what my partner would want. I don't need kids to feel fulfilled in life but it's definitely a different road to go down and changes everything. I'm okay either way. It's complicated with my husband right now but he always was adamant about wanting children so I agreed under certain conditions. We've both taken some steps towards that (he got a better paying job in a field with a future and I got another job to act as savings, as well as started putting money in 401k/Roth IRA). We aren't anywhere near ready though as I said it's complicated and specifically the conditions I agreed to haven't been met.
When I was 26 and accidentally got pregnant. so about 2 weeks into the pregnancy.
what I did to prepare was get sober, change my entire life around and become a functional adult.
[removed]
Decided we wanted kids (after being on the fence for quite a long time) at 32. Had our first kiddo at 34 and our second will be arriving at 36. Younger me would be surprised that we decided to have any, let alone two!
I've always known that I wanted children, since I was a child myself. I started actively making choices to support the lifestyle I wanted when I was a teen. Going to college, planning a career, dating with intention, etc etc. I'm 31 and we're trying now but I have endometriosis and ironically have likely been infertile since I was 13! The universe works in weird and frustrating ways.
I (rightly) knew in my twenties that my reproductive health was fucked and I would need medical intervention first before being able to have kids.
It took my partner getting transferred to the US for that to finally happen as Canadian healthcare makes it basically impossible to get treated for endometriosis.
After getting surgery 2.5 years ago to clean some of my stage 4 endometriosis and to remove the 7.5 cm uterine fibroid I had growing, treatment for my hypothyroidism, and regular pelvic floor therapy to fix my fucked up pelvic floor/lower back we are finally starting to try. It's very scary and nerve-wracking going off of birth control, and if I don't get pregnant within 3 months we'll be going directly to fertility treatments as it is unwise for me to be off birth control for so long with the amount of endometrial lesions I have.
It's definitely been a process and it took me a long time to recover and feel well enough to get to this point.
Impulsively decided during a baby fever episode to start trying with my high school sweetheart at age 20 (we had been together since 16 and had a very solid relationship entirely and had been married for over a year before attempting to conceive.) I know it was somewhat irresponsible at time simply due to our age, but I do also realize if I had waited until the right moment I truly would never have had a child. We did fine financially at 20 and my job was very flexible- I’ve been able to work remotely and care for my daughter the past 8 years so it did work out, but I didn’t have that all prepared before trying to conceive and I should have. Definitely grateful it worked out though. My husband and I realized after having our daughter that the one and done life is for us and we’ve enjoyed it so much ☺️ Before we had our daughter we talked about having two or three children, three being our max. We have literally never wavered on being one and done though after her birth and he got his vasectomy when Roe V Wade was overturned.
Always knew kids were in the cards for my husband and I, but used multiple birth control methods to prevent starting a family until we were ready. Started talking seriously about when to start trying when I was around 27, maybe. Shortly before I turned 29 I got my IUD out and was pregnant a few months later.
I always wanted kids. I seriously planned for them after I got married. Around 26. Discussed with my husband what we needed to do to prepare. I got a better job, we went on a few big holidays, paid our house off a bit more, discussed our contingencies if we had fertility issues in advance and saved to prepare for mat leave, then we started trying. I had my first kid by 29.
Even when i was young and hated kids I knew I'd want my own eventually. I always thought having my first at 28 would be ideal, and that I'd only want two.
Thankfully I found the loml at 21 and we were on the same page. Had our kids at 28 and 30
But I was just very lucky. I know we don't all find a good partner at the right time
By 8 I knew I never wanted any. 32 and haven’t changed my mind.
24 but didn’t actually try til 26-27
I have always loved kids, but the idea of giving birth always upset me, and admittedly I was grossed out by pregnancy. The idea of someone growing and kicking inside me felt like a horror movie.
Then at 27 I met a (now ex)-boyfriend who I genuinely wanted to build a life with. Several of my friends had babies that year, and seeing those children changed the concept from "having a baby" to "having a baby WITH (Ex)." I envisioned this child as OUR child who had both our features and personalities. It became more real, and the first time I thought, "Oh wait, that seems really fulfilling."
But that ex HATED kids. He was the type of child-free guy who loudly complained when a baby was crying and laughed when a toddler fell over in public.
One day I went to the store with my pregnant friend to help her pick out a stroller. As we were in baby aisle looking at the clothes and toys, I realized that if I stayed with Ex then this would NEVER happen for me. I would never be picking out a stroller, planning outfits, choosing a name, going on a shopping run with another friend to talk about my own pregnancy. I felt such a profound sense of mourning that I cried as soon as I got home. If I stayed in that relationship, the door to that future would be completely shut in my face.
That's when I realized I wanted kids.
Started thinking/planning at 27 early in the year, and started trying at the end of the year (just turned 28). Got pregnant super quick and now my husband and I have a beautiful 6mo baby girl. Hands down the best decision I’ve ever made😊 my hearts never been more full
[removed]
When I was 4 I said I hated kids and would never have my own. My mother and grandmother laughed at me. Now I'm 26 and still feel the same way!
Never. I have never experienced baby fever. Knew at 12 years old I didn't want to breed.
I was raised religious so since childhood I thought I wanted to be a mom to two kids. Once I hit 20-25, hell no, no thank you.
I sort of always had in the back of my mind that one day I’ll have a family, but i lived through my 20s pretty yolo and was constantly deeply into my current love drama, no real future thinking.
Then I got a huge existential crisis at 27, I have had been single for one year at that point, and started panicking that I would get old and not have time to marry and have kids.
At 29 I met my now husband and last year we had our first baby - I will turn 33 this year.
I’m twenty-four and I’ve never really felt a strong urge to have children. Still, I can imagine that I might want kids someday. It’s interesting to notice this and to see whether that feeling ever appears. I believe that where you are in life plays a role, and maybe when you reach a more stable position, the desire will start to grow. Can anyone confirm or deny this? Is it an urge that appears one day, or is it more of a decision you make?
The first time i knew i wanted kids was at 6 years old. I had an amazing mother and grandmother who i look up to even today. Once I found my soulmate at 21yo. I asked him if he would want kids he said i already have one but am interested if the right person comes along. We actively started to try when i was 24 years old and that is the age I conceived. I’m currently 30 weeks pregnant at the age of 25. It took from June 24 to June 25 for me to convince.
I’m 30 and I would like to start lol
Got married at 28 and we knew we wanted kids but wanted to wait a couple years. Started trying to conceive at 30. I’m 32 now and no positive tests yet.
26, but I had a miscarriage and 2 still births due to IC. So now at 29, we've given up on it entirely.
27, which is now, took a while but had a lot to work to do on my self
I’m 34 and happily married and still reluctant.
When I was in high school I said I wanted 2 but that was before I realized all that goes into caring for them.
Early to mid Twenties - swore I would never have children
I'm 29 and three quarters and I am aware that if children are supposed to be in my life they will be but I ALWAYS have my birth control in action lol
I don't like my sleep (or anything else for that matter) interrupted. My world revolves around me and I like it that way. But I know if I were to have a child I could successfully parent. People always tell me I'd be a great mom.
32
When I met my partner at 33. I knew I wanted kids when I met him and realised he would be an excellent Dad. He is!
I really didn't ever think about it and that should have been a big sign. When I was in my mid 20s I thought about having kids and even went through that period of baby fever, but I broke up with my then partner and it went away.
I did spend time questioning if they were in my future and I really did go back and forth. But I never felt settled enough. I think a big part of having children or planning to have children is actually going through with the plan. Sometimes planning is just another way of pushing things off and pretending you have "goals."
Absolutely not now- 24
I wanted kids all my life, but I didn't start actively working on it until 31 yrs old (close to 32). I had been in university prior to that so wasn't trying to conceive. I started working with a fertility doctor (I have PCOS), taking meds to ovulate, coming off antidepressants, quitting vices as much as possible. It took about 9 months of all that before I became pregnant. Gave birth at 33 yrs old. Lost the baby full term. So now I will be 34 (hopefully) at the next birth when we are finally able to really start growing our family. I want 3-4 kids so we will see how that goes at the age I'm at.
Started thinking about it around 25, and had my kid when I was 28! Best decision of my life.
At like 27 I started to seriously think if I wanted children or not. I did some research, observed the life of parents (especially moms) around me and noticed how burned out they all were. I also did a lot of introspection and realised quickly that having a kid is not for me. I am someone that needs a lot of silence and time alone to recharge and function properly in society and I absolutely love my freedom. It’s actually the most important thing to me. I decided that I never wanted to have kids and in my 30s now I’m happier than ever about this decision. A lot of my girl friends are either trying or having kids now and, while I am a supportive friend, I am so glad that it’s not me. They are so miserable.
I never really thought about it growing up until mid 30’s (40 now) - I was busy living my own life, traveling the world, surviving, building my successful creative business.
IF I’d happen to get pregnant (I have a great partner who is comfortable financially, I would be SAHM) I’d become an amazing mother.
But if not, I find fulfilment in all other aspects of life. I refuse to work full time and raise a family, that sounds terribly exhausting.
Having children is not a deal breaker of happiness in life, and “god” has given us free will.
Got married at 27. Stopped birth control pills 3 months before the wedding so they would be out of my system by the wedding. Jokes on me, baby didnt show up until I was 32.
I’ve been on and off about wanting kids for years, but really started wanting them around 30. Had some terrible boyfriends, then met the most perfect man at 31, married at 32 and I’m now pregnant at 33 with twins. They will likely be our only children as I am not sure I enjoy pregnancy and 2-3 was the amount I wanted anyway.
I only wanted to have kids with the right man, though. I would have been pretty content being an aunt and living a single life, but I love my husband and he is going to be a great dad. He is the best partner, friend and lover I could have ever imagined.
I think kids are a huge risk and investment and while I’m excited for them, I’m really aware that it isn’t going to be easy or fun all the time. My pregnancy is progressing well, and I’m hoping for good outcomes. The idea of a life without kids makes me sad now, and I’m looking forward to a whole life of making them into good people and giving them as an amazing a childhood as I can. I am looking forward to seeing how they grow and mature and what they will be like. I don’t have crazy expectations, but plan to give them every opportunity to succeed that we can. I feel very fortunate that we will be able to do that for them.
Now! I want to have kids now but I am single and i want to do it with the right person. so oh well 🤷🏻♀️ I am 33 😜
Never actively. I’ve thought “what if,” but ultimately, my life is just not compatible with having or raising children. So, I won’t be actively considering or taking steps to do so.
Around 31/32 when I was finally with someone I could see having a family with. Before that I wasn’t really sure I’d be a mom. We started trying when I was 34. After years of nothing, we got serious and did IVF. I got pregnant and had my daughter when I was 39.
I wanted kids since I was 19. Just started trying at the end of last year (I was 35).
I wasn't mentally or financially stable enough for kids before this point. I'm kind of glad I waited but also a bit worried I might have waited too long. I'll find out haha
When I was really young, I thought I did not want kids at all. When I turned about 20 I realized I wanted kids but was absolutely not responsible or sober enough to have them. At 25 I ABSOLUTELY want a baby so, so bad. But I also know we are not quite ready to take that step yet. My goal is to be married by 28 and trying for kids at 29/30.
Never. Not for me. 41 now and still happy with my decision
After my divorce at 31 and a subsequent job working with teenagers I thought I was definitely going to be child free. Now at 36 I’m actively considering it, but the economy and my job stability is so screwed I don’t see how I can.
I turned 30 this past August. Spent my entire life actively pursuing a “no kids” lifestyle, even found a husband that has no interest in having kids. However the want to have kids has been so strong recently I think I might give in.
I started actively thinking about it around the time I got engaged when I was 28. I went off of birth control when I got home from my honeymoon. Been trying ever since. I'm 30 now
Probably when my now-husband and I hit a few months together in college.
We were talking about what we wanted for the future and knew we both wanted 1-2 kids, wanted to be married for a few years before trying, and wanted to get married the summer after I finished grad school and got my first adult job. We're both public school teachers and have been married for 2 years.
I'm currently working on weight-loss (20 pounds down) to get healthy and my husband is working on our long-term savings plan! If things keep going our way we should be set to have a baby in 2028-ish
I was 24 when the wish for a kid basically hit me like a truck. I was sure to never want one beforehand. But oh well, now I am 34, still childless and pretty much gave up on that by this point.
I never really pictured myself as someone's mom but people always told me that eventually, I would get baby fever and want to become a mother. It hasn't happened and I'm pretty sure I'm immune to baby fever.
I started thinking about it at age 35 and went straight to a fertility specialist knowing that I wasn’t able to get pregnant on my own (pcos). Got pregnant and delivered at 36
When I was 28 and my husband was 30. Had our fist when I was 30 and he was 32! ☺️
When I met my husband at 31. We got married at 33 and decided to start trying after. Now I’m pregnant with our first!
20 I think. I never resonate with the idea of getting married/giving birth, but I've always wanted to adopt kids. Now I'm 25 and I'll do it when I'm ready.
34
32
never have never will. decided i was childfree around 7/8
[removed]
13! When I decided I didn’t want them.
[removed]
We got married this year, so going to start soon. So less age and more once we were in a serious relationship. I didn't want to wait too long, so 30ish
34, still figuring it all out
Right after we got married at 30, we started TTC. I had wanted to be established in my career and be done with my degrees before having kids, yet not too old. I had my first baby two weeks before turning 32
I’ve always wanted to be a mom. In my early twenties/college days I thought I’d start having a family by 27. Life has been too expensive for that but by the time I decided waiting may not be wise, due to my genetics, I was 30. We tried for 2 years and nothing. I gave up and was pretty sure my genetics were doing the thing I’d thought they’d do. And yep. Found out last summer I have fibroids and am now on a journey (race) to get rid of them in time to pop a few out before it’s too late, if I’m lucky. So I guess my steps are a bunch of ultrasounds leading to surgery at 34?
I was 33, married for 1 year. Decided it's time to try
I’ve actively been avoiding getting pregnant since 19. (Didn’t know for sure if I wanted kids ever or not at that time but was leaning towards no) At 28 I started thinking about the pros to a hysterectomy due to family cancers. Just had the hysterectomy at 35 and can remain child free!
I'd always wanted children. I always loved babysitting & caring for my younger sibling.
I remember being a new grad, maybe 22, and discussing with a friend how I was going to balance grad school, career and babies. (Funny how young women think of these things in advance, and no 22-year-old guy does).
In the end, I was "delayed" by two terrible relationships. But I finally found my one & had kids in my 30s.
38..almost 39.
I started thinking about it at 25. Last year in January at 28 we came up with the “timeline”. We discussed the feasibility of having kids without owning a house and if we even want a house (I don’t). I’m currently 12 1/2 weeks pregnant.
When I finally met someone that made me want the whole thing, house and kids, so 30. I've always liked kids but my previous partners were all a no cause I knew i'd do everything all by myself.
I've known I wanted to be child free forever since I was a child myself, this hasn't changed a bit! If I accidentally end up pregnant it's gonna be aborted 🤷🏻
I’ve always thought I never wanted children, I’m now 26 and hate that I’ve proved people ‘right’ that I’m thinking I do want them now. I’ve always struggled with the pregnancy aspect - I’m worried about what the changes to my body will do to my headspace and that it’ll be traumatic but I also really want to have children with my partner and have a family. Before him, I was with someone that I couldn’t see myself having kids with but with my now partner I know he would be an amazing dad and we would have a wonderful life expanding our family together. I’m pro adoption but I think my partner would prefer biological children (obviously easier for a man to want this lmao). I’d want to be thinking of having them by 30, as long as we have a house & marriage (personal choice) but I am scared about it too.
Probably about 13 years old when my cousin was born. Currently 25 and my goal is to pay off my student loans so I can save for a place to live and then start ❤️
Around 28 I started being like, hmm, maybe? Then froze my eggs at 30 to buy myself some time. Still figuring it out tbh.
I'm aiming to be pregnant at like 35-36. There's just some stuff I still wanna do before.
Ever since I was a teen and the thought of being a mom one day came upon me I knew I wanted it. I just thought it was such a sweet loving part of life. My mom is the sweetest and so gentle and I always hoped I could bring my child the same love and generosity.
I started having severe pain in my uterus years ago, had to drop out of work and uni. Doctors couldn’t figure out what was wrong and didn’t care to really investigate. They diagnosed me with just different chronic illnesses eventually after making sure I wasn’t just stressed “having anxiety”. But I always thought something more was wrong. My whole body was just failing me. I had severe fatigue, on and off fevers all day, and many other weird symptoms. I saw multiple specialists all from gynos to infectious disease specialist and was dismissed by all
A few months ago it turned out I had an infection in my uterus and ovaries the whole time and it had spread to other organs. I’m left with scarring and other issues now, and I can’t have children. I’m in my mid 20s. The worst part honestly isn’t being able to not have children’s but now left fully disabled due to complications. I rely on my mom now to be my full caretaker
31, when I started something with my now-fiancé 🩷
I always knew I’d be a mum, but not at the expense of the rest of my life: university, career, life plans were important too.
I met my now husband at 27, and we had our kids when I was 33 and 35. My only regret about the timing was that we didn’t meet younger and have more pre-kid time together, but I am glad I had kids when I did. I’m 42 now and the thought of having a baby now is 🤯 (although having had two rough pregnancies probably has a lot to do with that!)
For us, we had gotten married, bought a house and been on our honeymoon all in 6 months, and after that we just stopped trying to avoid pregnancy. I don’t think you can ever be ready to have a baby, but you can get to the point where getting pregnant and having a baby would be life changing in a good way, instead of in a bad way.
100/10. No regrets.
I always knew I wanted to be a mom so I've been pretty much always thinking about it. So taking steps for me included finding a partner and telling him from the very beginning that I wanted kids in the future and that I wanted to become a mom in my twenties. Had my daughter 1 day before my 26th birthday and so far she is the best thing that ever happened to me. 🩷