Please note that this question is aimed at women who have realized they might have autism and decided to get tested for it. If that is not you, do not leave a top-level comment.

Do not speculate, armchair diagnose, or label other people's mental health situations; or use terms for mental health issues as judgments, slurs, or synonyms for toxic/abusive behaviour even when talking about yourself.

Please report all rule breaking.

I was describing my social struggles with my psychologist and she asked a bunch of followup questions. She said it’s very likely. About a year later, i was tested and she was correct.

I read a research study about how neurotypical people tend to have an immediate dislike of autistic people when it comes to first impressions, and it led me to speak with my psychiatrist about it, as I was already diagnosed with adhd.                

The research resonated with me, because I would often feel intentionally excluded, ignored and ganged up on in new group social settings. Like, people wouldn’t respond to things I said, and would physically close me out of the conversational circle. I was often the de facto butt of the joke. If someone did respond to me, it would be to argue for the sake of arguing; and this would really confuse me, because a different member of the group could say the same thing I did, and that same person would give them a positive response. So I felt like I couldn’t say anything right, and that people were deliberately taking everything I said the wrong way. Some of my friends have mentioned that they didn’t like me at first, but they aren’t sure why. And it’s so weird, because I would only feel this way in group settings. In one-on-one interactions with the same people, they would seem almost obsessed with me.                  

Mind you, this was my experience up till high school. Since then, I’ve learned to put on a mask when I’m with new people, but that can come across as trying too hard/fake, which also seems to instinctually repulse people, so it’s a fine line to walk. And it’s an exhausting act. 

I didn't really realize it as autism. I believed everyone who said I was lazy, strange, and overdramatic. Underwent a psychological battery test in university to confirm an old ADHD diagnosis that wound up indicating a profound learning disability, which confused the hell out of everyone except my psychiatrist. Initially diagnosed with PTSD and NVLD (which no longer exists,) later diagnosed with childhood-onset PTSD and Autism Spectrum Disorder.

I didn’t lol, it was at the end of my ADHD assessment and the assessor said ‘well you clearly have severe ADHD but I think you also have Autism so I’ll get you scheduled for an assessment for that too’…I was insulted (oopsie internalised ableism) because I didn’t want ‘the weird one’. 4 months later I got diagnosed with Autism too… It wasn’t until I started medication for the ADHD that I realised how Autistic I was because the ADHD had clearly been covering most of the Autistic symptoms up until that point. I won’t take my meds on days I know I’ll need to deal with certain people or activities because I get super overstimulated and can’t deal with interruptions or transition between tasks without having a meltdown…and those are embarrassing; being aware you’re being perceived like a toddler having a tantrum but not being able to control it and then having to go apologise when I’m no longer overstimulated…it just isn’t worth the better attention span and motivation sometimes!

Initially diagnosed with avoidant personality disorder with BPD traits. After treatment I still felt "off". I have a hard time adjusting to sudden/unexpected changes and I have high expectations of myself. And other things like:

• high sensitivity to stimuli
• no eye contact when talking to people
• insane hyperfocus on a particular subject (medicine/illness and specifically blood cell morphology/bone marrow morphology)
• I'm particularly good at remembering specific moments to the date it happened (not even life events or birthdays; no, just specific moments that happened some day)
• horrible social skills
• I need (very specific) instructions to function. It's why I became a laboratory technician - every procedure is written down in SOP's
• During my youth I was rejected by my peers often and I never understood why - Sometimes I'd say things that would upset others and I wouldn't know why
• As you can read on my extended list, I describe everything in a very detailed manner with lots of brackets

My mind is like a gigantic whiteboard with a list of notes and post-its that I feel like I need to remember at all times.

My "issues" became an obstacle in everyday life and my marriage, so I decided to get tested and that's how I got an autism diagnosis. And I went to therapy and still receive help.

My (mentally unwell) mother told me she was convinced I had Bipolar disorder. I really thought I had autism because I depply struggled with eye contact, emotional control and executive functioning.

Turns out I’m not bipolar. I’m not autistic. I have C-PTSD from a really neglectful childhood and toxic and abusive family dynamic.

There’s a lot of diagnosed autistic women in my family, which for the time frame is quite rare. Even so I didn’t put 2 and 2 together until I got on TikTok and the algorithm did what it does best.

Suddenly everything about myself made so much sense, and I started talking to my autistic family members and they said they’d thought it for years, and had been hinting for ages. Because autistic people are notoriously great at picking up on hints lol.

Anyway, went to my doctor who referred me to a psychiatrist who diagnosed me 3yrs ago. I was 38.

I wish I’d known sooner, my life would have been so much easier and my mental health so much better, but I’m just trying to work out what my future looks like now, and I’m thankful I have all the answers I’ve been looking for all my life

When research started coming out about level 1 autism in females, I realized that a lot of it described me. After a lifetime of struggling with my mental health and being diagnosed with everything from depression to bipolar disorder to being told I’m just dramatic and need to get over it, I sought out testing to see if autism could be the explanation and lo and behold, it sure was.

Went to a new therapist. She listened to me and suggested that I might be autistic and probably have ADHD too. I was like "Nah no way", but she gave me directions where to get an additional assessment and they were like "Uh yeah you are autistic, very likely ADHD too, but we only diagnose autism here and it's 3k for the official paper". So I said no to the official paper because I still didn't believe I might be autistic and I probably tricked people into thinking I am autistic. I went for my ADHD diagnosis tho. After getting diagnosed with that, I started slowly noticing stuff that actually make sense for me being autistic and eventually came to terms with it.

BTW in my country they don't really do the "levels" of autism, but later I learned I qualify as level 2 support needs.

THE DENIAL.

Early 40’s here, so perimenopause hormonal changes turned my mild-ish symptoms into a living hell. First visit in my new psychiatrist after years of depression and anxiety… he had me tell my life story and where my struggles are. To him, my AuDHD was textbook. I am currently undergoing the long, long, long journey to finally have it “officially” diagnosed.

My main ADHD symptoms : severe executive dysfunction, RSD, poor memory, high problem solving skills, infinitely curious, creative, insanely calm in crisis situations, attention span going for 0 to 100 and from 100 to 0 in a blink of an eye, high justice sensitivity.

My main autism symptoms : rigid adherence to authority, severe sensory dysfunction, loves to make extreme detailed and complete plan and goes into overdrive if there are changes, extreme intolerance to foreign noises, textures and smells, troubled with interoception (hard time figuring out body function and needs).

I was in late elementary school. My mother and I had been told a few years prior that I would probably grow into an autism diagnosis, so I went to get tested to see whether I had outgrown the symptoms.

What clued them in was that, after being diagnosed with OCD in third grade and receiving treatment, there were still a lot of things that OCD did not explain. So I was told that I was probably autistic, but they wanted to wait a couple of years to see if I stopped displaying the symptoms as I matured.

I was diagnosed with both autism and ADHD, as a result.

I had the typical peer review from friends but I guess it didn’t really sink in until my doctor just blatantly said “it is very clear you struggle with the symptoms of autism” before I was officially diagnosed. For a long time I thought it was OCD maybe some of the symptoms are but yes definitely autism.

I started to notice that a lot of things my diagnosed autistic Twitter follows said were relatable. I then bought a book by an autistic woman called Odd Girl Out I think and it just really clicked that I likely had an answer to why I felt different my whole life. Specifically people mentioning how they felt like they were an alien. I genuinely used to wonder if I came from somewhere else when I was young. I was very nervous to ask my PCP about getting referred for testing since doctors seem to hate when you bring up something they haven't suggested but my doc was pretty cool. She said that it honestly made sense considering I don't react to any anxiety treatment options in a normal way. I have a lot of really weird reactions to most MH medications to the point where I have to list them as allergies. I know that's not something every autistic person experiences but atypical medication reactions seem to be much more common in the subgroup. I got referred for thorough neuropsych testing and found out in my 40s that I am in fact autistic, with a designation of what was formerly called Asperger's in the US. According to my testing my higher reasoning is in the 99 percentile so there's always been this part of my brain that is self aware and analyzes how "not normal" I am compared to others. I learned to mask exceedingly well. My special interests for a long time were basically how humans interact. So communications, psychology, sociology etc. Helped me fit in more. I still mask to a degree because it's part of who I am now but I'm finding my special interests are actually shifting toward more hard science since I'm not subconsciously trying to figure out human behavior. Obligatory we are not a monolith statement but it explains my altruism, hatred of lying, excessive care about accuracy and details, my dislike for a lot of popular comedies and comedic actors, my intense interest and research into various subjects, my appreciation for efficacy and pragmatism over tradition or ideology, my casein intolerance (milk protein), and why I used to get made fun of for using big words or trusted to be a walking encyclopedia in the pre internet days.

Videos of late-diagnosed autistic women sharing their experiences started to appear on my TikTok feed and I resonated with all of it. I always knew something was “different” about me but I had no language or understanding of how to articulate it. I pursued a diagnosis and was diagnosed with Level 1 Autism Spectrum Disorder at age 30.

My sister came to our regular family meeting and said "I got diagnosed as autistic today! Did you know bouncing when you're happy is a sign of autism? And so is liking direct communication, and wanting to eat the same breakfast every day!" And I was like, really??? Those are just normal things??? And she said yeah I know but apparently they're not!

And then I said Huh, maybe I'm autistic too...

I didn't really believe it at that point, but then some of my other siblings started getting diagnosed too and bringing up more signs that I also definitely had. I started researching and realised I actually fit every sign.

At that point I was pretty sure, but not entirely certain. Then I supported my husband through his diagnosis process, and I saw the types of questions they were asking him and what answers they were looking for and I was like yes, all of these things apply to me...

So then I was 100% sure. I am going for a formal assessment next month :)

I (somewhat drunkenly) mentioned to my doctor cousin that it never even occurs to me to spend time with people. Even as a kid, I just never asked anyone to hang out. I never knocked on other kids’ doors. I made one close friend in middle school and she made new friends, and then those people became my friends. But I’ve never really made a new friend on my own, and if I have, I’ve never pursued spending time with them.

My cousin gently told me he thought I might be autistic. We talked more and then I looked into it more. More and more things added up, and that was that.

I actually thought I had ADHD. Suspected I had it all through school because of academic struggles. Finally got assessed as an adult and during the assessment I was asked if it would be ok if she changed what the assessment was for. Turns out I'm autistic...

I have my first assessment next week, but I realised as a teenager.

I am very similar to my autistic dad, e.g: we both struggle socially, struggle to explain our reasoning, and have very rigid thinking. After my mum said 'you're too much like your dad' one time too many I started researching Autism and the similarities between what I was reading and my lived experiences were too great to just be coincidence.

My parents read an article about a woman who had life-long struggles with autism and didn't get a diagnosis until her mid-twenties. My dad thought that it sounded similar to what I had gone through and recommended that I get an assessment. So I did, and was diagnosed at the age of 24.

Watching Geek Girl and realizing I do that! That's how I think! And some new friends who are also ND saying, "You may be both. Many of us are." And my therapist suggesting it might be something to look into at some point. Relating to Harriet in Geek Girl was the tipping point for me as I was diagnosed at 60 with ADHD and had been in denial for so long I had to be gently gotten to accept THAT diagnosis.

I was diagnosed and medicated for adhd. The meds did nothing, and I dug a bit deeper into my symptoms and was like "wait, this seems more like autism". I'm very rigid, have sensory issues, etc. I was assessed for autism and was diagnosed. That psychiatrist revoked my adhd diagnosis too, which made sense to me. I know lots of people have AuDHD, but it just didn't fit the bill for me. I'm now on mood stabilizers which did more for me than any type of stimulant. I was diagnosed at 41.

My son was diagnosed with level 1 autism and in the process of reading up on it so I can support him best, a lot of things felt familiar... so I started googling autism in women. Then, of course, my feed lit up with autistic women content and so much resonated.

I stewed and obsessed for months and my husband told me to get tested because it was clearly distressing me to not know for sure if I am autistic or not.

So I did, and I'm autistic!

On a funny note, my son was initially diagnosed at 4 with just ADHD, and one question the psychologist asked us was if he avoids eye contact. My husband said he avoids eye contact and I said he doesn't with me... 😂 after I got diagnosed it hit me that I thought he was doing fine because I'm not making much eye contact either (I look at noses and mouths and monitor eyes from my periphery - pretty sure that's why no one noticed my lack of eye contact). How silly to have parents who are possibly ND deciding what's normal eye contact lol.

I had been getting treatment for my CPTSD and recognized several of my symptoms weren't alleviating. Looked into it more and eventually got an Inattentive ADHD diagnosis. Got medicated.

Then between having the first two disorders accounted for and under treatment - I saw that there were still a few things that were still a constant (social impairments and sensory issues being the most pervasive). ASD was checking A LOT of the boxes and I really needed that professional validation of what I was seeing - so I sought a diagnosis that also explored differentials to make sure one thing wasn't masking as another.

Yep. I've got AuDHD. There's been a lot of grief, but also a lot of relief in finally understanding why I am the way I am. It's an ongoing journey.

i failed at holding three jobs and finally dropped out of nursing school due to daily meltdowns (which i thought were panic attacks).

i saw a pharmacist for medication counseling and asked “hey, seven medications haven’t done a single thing. could it be autism?”

she didn’t hesitate to say “that’s a plausible explanation, would you like a psychiatry referral?”

the rest is history. i’m so glad i’m diagnosed, i’m getting autism-centered therapy and doing things my own way!

Uh. Got a job in psychiatry. I work with a range of different mental health professionals, they realised before I did. I thought I was just introverted and.. odd one out with a few quirks, I guess.

When other people pointed out certain traits and I recognised aspects of myself in several other autistic people I knew, and then back in 2016 I started going down many rabbit holes (reading books, research studies, other online stuff, listening to things) trying to figure out if that was what was behind many years of serious mental health struggles and... why I was the way I was (and why therapy had never worked whatsoever). The assessment was awkward and uncomfortable as hell tbh, but oh well.

I went back into higher education, in my mid-twenties, after a terrible high school experience I had put down to depression.
The support team at my college actually brought up ASD first, and after a bit of research, I decided to pursue a diagnosis, which I got around a year later.
Now, in retrospect, I can see that my high school experience was really difficult due to sensory overload and repeated burnout.

I went to the GP for perimenopause advice...was given a blood test and a neurodiversity test. Turns out I'm not perimenopausal.

I realized my social & sensory struggles are exacerbated compared to most people, and my capacity to handle life is comparatively small. I did obsessive amounts of research and started treating myself as if I was autistic, and I discovered that it helped.

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In my late 20s, my aunt, who worked with special needs children, told me that she thought I might be autistic. At first I laughed her off, but when I thought about it, it was liked everything about my life actually made sense? I ended up getting tested, and I'm very high functioning, but here's a list of the ways it shows up for me:

• I had a very hard time making friends as a child. I didn't care about the trendy, popular things they did, and in turn, they all thought my interests were weird. I was often iced out or made invisible in groups.
• I still have a very hard time thinking of questions to ask people. No matter how hard I try, I struggle so much with asking people about themselves, or coming up with topics to talk about. Then, the harder I try, the more my brain shuts down.
• Socializing has always drained me because I'm putting on a performance to fit in. I try my best to be myself, but my prior experiences have made me realize that if I don't act "more normal," people will think I'm weird.
• I absolutely need to decompress frequently, and take things very slowly. I get overwhelmed extremely easily, and will have meltdowns because of it. I hate it, it makes me feel like a toddler.
• I remember almost every moment of every day. I remember everything you said to me. I remember what you were wearing. I remember the weather, what music was playing, what we ate, what we did, all of it.
• I can feel clothes on my skin at all times. It isn't something my body gets used to that then gets tuned out. It's why I hate the winter so much. The layers, my hair blowing in the wind, my bra strap slipping under my sweater and coat, the gloves, the scarf, it's a sensory nightmare.
• I'm not good at interpreting things (unless they're nonverbal cues, which isn't typical, but I'm a pro at observing and understanding nonverbal cues). If you need me to do something, I need explicit instructions. Otherwise I'll be confused and stressed because I don't know what it is you want me, exactly, to do.
• Going off of that, I have a hard time "going with the flow." I usually make and have plans at all times. If that gets disrupted, it really, really bothers me.
• I do a little tippy tappy dance when I'm happy, because joy especially feels very "big" to me, and I need to "express it out" of my body, otherwise my body physically feels like it's jumping on the inside. Like having restless leg syndrome almost?? But all over. My partner always tells me, "you have a lot of big feelings for a tiny thing." ('m 5'0" for reference). I do! I feel things really intensely.

At the end of my ADHD assessment, after telling me I very clearly had combined ADHD, the psychiatrist said "do you think you might be autistic too?" and I laughed in her face. Left the assessment, told my husband what she said and he said "oh, I thought that was more obvious than the ADHD".

A year later I got diagnosed autistic too, after taking ADHD meds made it ABUNDANTLY clear I was very autistic too 😂

I had 2 separate people ask me if I was autistic based on things I'd been describing about myself. One of which had just gone through the process with both their spouse and their oldest child.

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I was observed as a child and nothing happened. I assumed it was because I was incredibly shy.

My husband and I started to have deeper discussions about my lack of enthusiasm and friendships. About how our conversations were more awkward than with him and anybody else. I realized I had very rigid thinking and I found it difficult to transition easily from topic to topic in conversation without feeling offended if I wanted to talk about X and now they made it about Y.

In a group setting earlier that week I started thinking, I struggled to find openings for my input to the conversation and then the topic changed and I was left feeling discouraged. While looking online I found this exact experience as being related to someone with autism. So I started looking that up. And it made so much sense. I made an appointment the next week and voila..

I went to therapy to deal with hospital related/ health anxiety as I have a congenital heart defect, and it became apparent a lot of my stress around going to hospitals was to do with sensory issues, needing routine and structure and then further discussions opened up how a lot of these issues permeated my whole life, and how social isolation/ socialisation was difficult for me. Broadly speaking id always felt something about me was different but because I grew up in an emotionally abusive household I learnt how to read emotions fairly quickly and that had always prevented me from ever taking the idea of autism seriously