I’ve been vegan for a few years now, and I’ve convinced my best friend to be a vegan. She finally agreed to be a vegan, but said she is going to have one last day of all her favorite meat meals. Bacon for breakfast, salmon for lunch, steak and lobster for dinner, cheesecake for dessert.
I think this is a terrible idea. One of our friends is concerned that if I bring this up, she’s going to give up entirely, but I feel like this is just encouraging the idea that it’s “okay” to consume meat even one more time, and if she’s serious about it, there wouldn’t be a last meal, she would just start now.
I would give a soft caution along the lines of:
"It's inspiring you have tackled this journey head on. As a word of caution the you a few weeks from now might look back at this meal with a degree of horror. It's your call of course, and you will hear no more from me about it."
I'd argue that most people "ease" into veganism, and it's what I'd normally suggest.
Otherwise, since you have zero control over another person.... leave it alone. Honestly, the way you phrase that she "agreed" to be vegan, doesn't sound like she wants to be vegan at all, and you're just lecturing her about it. People have to come to veganism on their own, otherwise they'll never stick with it.
Honestly, it sounds like there's a lot of peer pressure on her and that's never good for a person's relationship with food
I didn’t go vegan all at once, it took a few months. Now I’ve been vegan for several years. Cold turkey didn’t work for me, I tried and gave up twice. What worked was a more gradual transition eating mostly plant-based at home and then vegetarian at restaurants.
Why does it actually matter if her intent is to go vegan immediately after? If the outcome is the same (she stops consuming animal products), this feels like policing the process rather than supporting the result. This kind of judgment is honestly part of why a lot of people are turned off by veganism in the first place. Progress isn’t the same as perfection, and supporting someone’s transition is usually more effective than gatekeeping how they get there...
Policing plates never benefits anyone. A diet change like this is daunting and takes a lot of getting used to.
Exactly
I did the same thing and have been vegan for almost 10 years
If there is the concern that she might even give up veganism on pushback on the way she tries to start it, it's probably not about the animals but about something else anyway. Good chance even if no one mentions how wrong the looks of her idea of a last day is, she still willl still fail Veganism.
"if you (vegans) don't like the way I start my vegan journey I don't wanna do it anymore. That's what you have for being mean to me." That's not something a vegan would ever say or even think. Maybe it's for her about the social construct, the group the vegans, not animals? That sounds like she's confused on her part and not convinced.
I don't believe it's ever "okay" to choose to exploit animals and I definitely question someone who is saying they object to animal exploitation starting tomorrow but not today. But if this person genuinely adopts a plant-based diet after this "last day," it's better overall than people who are just eating lobster and bacon and cheesecake and never stopping.
So I'll say I don't get it at all...but I probably wouldn't make a thing of it.
Most people can't start all at once. It's cool that some people do it overnight but they do not represent everyone. I used to be an EXTREME picky eater who grew up in a carnivorous household, if I was to stop all of a sudden I would've felt quite sick and gave up entirely.
Allow her to have her last meal and don't monitor her like she's in prison. Send a little head up, some recipes, offer to cook together, show her what happens to the animals that are exploited and that's it. Just be there like you'd be for a friend who needs help with mowing the lawn from time to time.
I had a “last meal” at Steak and Shake, am I proud of it? Hell no! But i’ve been vegan for almost 11 years now. Honestly, whatever gets people there is worth it!!
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I mean, no offense, but both of your mentalities are just a bit weird to me? Basically every person i know who is either vegetarian or vegan has done so on their own accord, because they actually weaned off of animal products gradually for ideological reasons and then decided to fully commit
Like your friend actually wanting a whole day of eating animal products as a "final feast", and you saying you "finally convinced her" both very much imply she's going vegan more to please you than bc she actually agrees with this ideologically. And tbh if that's the case she probably won't keep being vegan for long
Honestly my recommendation is just talk to her and ask her why she actually wants to do this, and also tell her it's ok to slowly transition to veganism instead of just going cold turkey
Also stop pressuring your friend! sorry if it sounds a bit mean but pressuring people to do things by just wearing them down over time is neither particularly nice nor particularly effective
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Whatever her path is, just encourage it. It's better than not changing at all. As others have said, it's not always a straight line.
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I agree, she will either regret this meal day, or not be serious about going vegan. If it was my friend considering veganism however, I would just leave it alone.
If she regrets the meals, let her feel the regret.
I personally would not want to be a part of her pig out day, if that is what is planned.
Ive no idea if its "ok" or not, it just sounds kind of weird to me.
When i went vegan i had been listening to the arguments for veganism for a while and then finally watched "land of hope and glory" a documentary on farming in the UK (heres the link if you are interested https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dvtVkNofcq8). I remember literally eating a pork sausage sandwich when i started the video, quickly stopped eating, and by the end i was looking at it in disgust and have been vegan ever since.
I was so disgusted and shamed at the conditions animals have to suffer for such a petty pleasure for humans to enjoy, that i couldnt possibly "enjoy" anything like that, no matter how good it tasted, so the idea of having a last meal of animal products is just something i dont understand at all.
Not judging or anything like that, if this results in your friend being vegan, im all for it, its just not something i personally understand.
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Tbh I did this kinda by accident and I’m 3+ years strong. But like u gotta really commit to it actually being the last imo no if’s, and’s, or but’s lol. I decided to go vegan overnight in the middle of the night but the next morning when I’d woken up I had a text from my mom saying she was ordering bob evan’s for breakfast and to tell her what I wanted and because I didn’t want to be difficult when she didn’t even know my decision yet so I ordered something vegetarian and then told her after breakfast and then that meal forward was fully plant based.
Also feel free to share my copy paste comment with your friend:
This is a copy paste comment I share anyone vegan curious or new vegan:
Here’s my veganism educational resources doc: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Ot4yc8145yqGsWWXylXMoOW6zIud6acVqK8FtE-cfVc/edit great place to start. Also recommend watching recipe vids and grocery hauls by the cheaplazyvegan and Madeline Olivia on YouTube especially their older videos and going into university I was super into Madeline Olivia’s easy cheap 3-5 ingredient recipes. (Also personally rec gardein canned meals and minute rice all very much lifesavers for me when I was at school)
Different methods to consider:
So as you can see different methods work best for different people and obviously this is not an exhaustive list.
End of copy paste
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