Had a salesman come to my door trying to sell me windows today, best part is he told me they looked old and they were replaced 5 years ago and my house was built in the 1890s so they look brand new compared to the rest of the house lol. I use to hate telling people no and getting roped into the sales conversation by pushy sales people because I don't want to be rude.That being said today, he said his line about windows and I said no thank you, and shut the door and walked away without giving a fuck. Honestly didn't give it a 2nd thought until I saw your comment lol
Every time I get a call from a telemarketer, I just say "not interested, thank you, bye" and hang up, no matter what they say. I used to get trapped because they don't let you speak and keep interrupting you. I still see people get stuck like this trying to get a word in and honestly, I feel absolutely no obligation to not be rude to people who are being rude to you.
EDIT: Also applies to door-to-door salespeople, although we rarely get those.
This! When something comes up now I think, if I just ignore this and walk away, am I gonna die? Is something terrible gonna happen? and 99% of the time, no.
Stand tall. Stand proud. Stand your ground. Draw a line that is clear to them to never to cross with you. I became the black sheep overnight simply because I stopped saying "yes" to everyone and doing everything they wanted. I wanted to be liked, be the good son/brother/sibling/whatever. Fixing stuff, buying the parts myself and spending the time to do it (for free... because, you know..."family"), co-sign loans to help out (again...because "family), and when I wasn't able and said "no" or "can't do it", it didn't matter what reason I had, I was wrong for not doing it right at that moment, and next day it turned into how I've never done anything for them...and the day after they defaulted on their crap...so now they live worry-free and I'm the one paying their debts. Never again.
Know that you are loved. I hope and pray (to any divine power open to listening) that you can either reconcile with your loved ones or find peace elsewhere in the company of those willing to accept your feedback as constructive criticism.
Only putting time and energy into the people that actually matter and giving far fewer shits about the opinions of those that don't. This process has mostly been self-selecting for everyone based on their own actions, so that's been nice too.
Yes! I always had some degree of insomnia up until I was like 29. Then suddenly something changed and now I drop like a fishing weight the second I hit the bed.
Social anxiety. I think it's practice being in different social situations more than anything. Experience helps. Keeps getting easier and easier. And less awkward.
Ok, these are all fairly serious but I’m going to say…playing volleyball. lol
I played on the high school team as a young teen and was the worst one easily. Now I play every now and then as an adult and I can crush it - I’m stronger, my coordination and aim are better, and I’m more confident.
Caring less and less about sex. I still care but not nearly as much. My seems to care even less which makes our a marriage sucks sometimes but I guess it helps that I don’t care as much as when I was younger.
Finally realizing what matters. Every couple years your priorities change, and you start to see the people you looked up to be the people who look to you for help. You can put off a lot of things, but don't put off talking to your relatives before you no longer can.
Also, ask your mom or grandma or whoever for the recipe to their signature dish. It took me way too many tries to finally figure out how my grandmother made her chicken noodle soup, when I could have just asked her once "Hey, can you show me how you make your soup?".
Saying “no.” Refusing to engage in bullshit or people who waste my time. Cutting people’s access to me that don’t deserve it. Walking away from arguments with fools, or, better yet, not taking the bait in the first place. Allowing myself to dislike certain people and then moving accordingly. Also, 🤣, being alone. Life is easier when you aren’t afraid of solitude and your own company.
Controlling erections. Highschool math class was so bad with the cute girl sitting behind me.many years later you get good control over when it happens.
Stealing from the grocery store at self check out those $4.99# apples get rang in for the cheapos at $1.49# the expensive Jamaican coffee by the grinder that goes right into the cheapest bag you have …no one bats an eye if you are old enough to claim confusion FYI no one has ever been successfully prosecuted for miss ringing food at a self check out the defense that you will use is that you can’t read
Taking up space without guilt. It’s still a struggle but before I would literally walk a mile out of my way if that meant I didn’t have to risk making a car stop for me to cross the street and when I moved in my place (first place of my own!) I was terrified to make footsteps or make any other sound and do laundry since there’s only two washers/dryers, and here I am sometimes feeling brave enough to play my violin.
Like today, when I saw this post, I tried to log in, but for some reason, even after I used the Login Link, and resetting my password, it didn't work, and it frustrated me to no end and ruined my whole day. It's only after hours that I was able to log in through another phone when I got home. I hate how bad I've gotten through how minor of an inconvenience this was...
Caring less about what others think of you
Not giving a fuck, Also telling people to fuck off.
Had a salesman come to my door trying to sell me windows today, best part is he told me they looked old and they were replaced 5 years ago and my house was built in the 1890s so they look brand new compared to the rest of the house lol. I use to hate telling people no and getting roped into the sales conversation by pushy sales people because I don't want to be rude.That being said today, he said his line about windows and I said no thank you, and shut the door and walked away without giving a fuck. Honestly didn't give it a 2nd thought until I saw your comment lol
Every time I get a call from a telemarketer, I just say "not interested, thank you, bye" and hang up, no matter what they say. I used to get trapped because they don't let you speak and keep interrupting you. I still see people get stuck like this trying to get a word in and honestly, I feel absolutely no obligation to not be rude to people who are being rude to you.
EDIT: Also applies to door-to-door salespeople, although we rarely get those.
100%. Learning this now in my 30s. I really couldn’t care less in almost all areas what others think about me anymore.
Period
Yes! I ran out of fucks to give a long time ago
Along those lines, telling people no to things without worrying about it being confrontational.
I used to feel when I said no to something it was like setting a up wall to defend.
It’s honestly a superpower. The day I stopped caring was the day I truly started living.
That's what I immediately thought.
Also caring less about waking up
This was my first thought.
I was going to say not giving a sh*t.
Never did, never will
Letting go. Arguments, grudges, expectations none of them are worth the mental bandwidth anymore.
Yeah, my teenage and 20s self needed a valium blowdart in the ass a few times, would have saved her some heartbreak and some embarrassment.
The older I get, the more selective i am about what deserves my energy
This! When something comes up now I think, if I just ignore this and walk away, am I gonna die? Is something terrible gonna happen? and 99% of the time, no.
My "Give a Damn" tank has a leak, and honestly, I’m not paying to fix it.
Calling people out on their lies and hypocrisy without feeling like an asshole after.
At 48 still trying. But my sister & mom now hate me. So this time of year, I feel like an asshole.
Stand tall. Stand proud. Stand your ground. Draw a line that is clear to them to never to cross with you. I became the black sheep overnight simply because I stopped saying "yes" to everyone and doing everything they wanted. I wanted to be liked, be the good son/brother/sibling/whatever. Fixing stuff, buying the parts myself and spending the time to do it (for free... because, you know..."family"), co-sign loans to help out (again...because "family), and when I wasn't able and said "no" or "can't do it", it didn't matter what reason I had, I was wrong for not doing it right at that moment, and next day it turned into how I've never done anything for them...and the day after they defaulted on their crap...so now they live worry-free and I'm the one paying their debts. Never again.
Know that you are loved. I hope and pray (to any divine power open to listening) that you can either reconcile with your loved ones or find peace elsewhere in the company of those willing to accept your feedback as constructive criticism.
This is my biggest challenge still. I am completely unable to call people out
If they make you feel that that when you are expressing your vulnerabilities in a hopefully productive way, then just remember:
They are in self protection mode, haven’t done the self reflection or owner accountability on their end. It has nothing to do with you.
Their loss, and it’s an opportunity for you to disengage emotionally and choose to allow the relationship to be on your terms.
Accepting myself for the broken individual that I am.
Psychologist Carl Rogers said "The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I change."
And that no one is going to save me other than ME.
Realizing I like the majority of people, less & less.
And that you love the time for yourself more and more, no?
Getting random injuries while sleeping.
not caring what others thought about me
Saying "no" without guilt.
still learning this.
No caring about my clothes so much.
I am comfortable. leave me alone.
Hell, I never did! It was a constant source of friction between my mother and myself when I was a kid.
Telling people to fuck off.
Giving up on a show series or movie part way through.
I do this with books, one of the best choices ever😁
I don't have to have an opinion on everything
Turning down invitations that I just don’t have the energy for.
Being able to say no to uncomfortable things.
Being alone.
😞, me too buddy, me too 🩶
Spotting bullshit
Accepting flaws in others. Being young and idealistic can lead to being really rigid and judgmental about other people's shortcomings.
This. Nothing breeds true empathy and a willingness to extend some grace like the lived experiences of our own fallibility.
Chemistry. That shit was impossible in highschool, I had no clue what the fuck was going on.
Went back to school late. Did college chemistry, shit was easy. Turns out the brain improves a lot after 17.
Peaks at around 35.
🥀…understanding…people’s …motives…🥀
Money. When I was young I was constantly looking to conserve money and what-ifs. After doing that for decades, it pays off.
Putting on shoes and socks, wait you said easier.
Sketchers slip on are the best
Getting hurt
Being myself
Ignore people
Only putting time and energy into the people that actually matter and giving far fewer shits about the opinions of those that don't. This process has mostly been self-selecting for everyone based on their own actions, so that's been nice too.
Going to sleep
Yes! I always had some degree of insomnia up until I was like 29. Then suddenly something changed and now I drop like a fishing weight the second I hit the bed.
You’re lucky. I’m 56 and my lifelong battle with insomnia is still very much alive and kicking.
Same, friend. May it somehow get better soon.
Wish that worked for me...
Accepting death
Talking with people.
Accepting that not everyone is here to hurt you. ❤️😌
Social anxiety. I think it's practice being in different social situations more than anything. Experience helps. Keeps getting easier and easier. And less awkward.
Dealing with bullshit and picking battles that is worth your peace.
Aging
Picking up chicks. Experience is the key element though, not age.
Feeling comfortable in my own skin and body
Sleeping
Ok, these are all fairly serious but I’m going to say…playing volleyball. lol
I played on the high school team as a young teen and was the worst one easily. Now I play every now and then as an adult and I can crush it - I’m stronger, my coordination and aim are better, and I’m more confident.
Just giving a fuck
Being able to say no
Empathy
Reaching the top shelf.
Caring less and less about sex. I still care but not nearly as much. My seems to care even less which makes our a marriage sucks sometimes but I guess it helps that I don’t care as much as when I was younger.
Being tired
Saying No.
No im not staying late
No thanks on coming in on Saturday
When I was younger I felt like I had to be a yes man and kiss ass at work.
Whining
Apologizing.
Looking old.
Work (retired)
My feild of "fucks" lies nearly fallow now...
Being happy. Or rather not giving a fuck
Incontinence.
Less patience and letting go. When you hit 50+, no time for BS ever.
Finally realizing what matters. Every couple years your priorities change, and you start to see the people you looked up to be the people who look to you for help. You can put off a lot of things, but don't put off talking to your relatives before you no longer can.
Also, ask your mom or grandma or whoever for the recipe to their signature dish. It took me way too many tries to finally figure out how my grandmother made her chicken noodle soup, when I could have just asked her once "Hey, can you show me how you make your soup?".
Adulting
Ignoring irrelevant people
Saying “no.” Refusing to engage in bullshit or people who waste my time. Cutting people’s access to me that don’t deserve it. Walking away from arguments with fools, or, better yet, not taking the bait in the first place. Allowing myself to dislike certain people and then moving accordingly. Also, 🤣, being alone. Life is easier when you aren’t afraid of solitude and your own company.
Not giving a single fuck.
Saying no.
Letting shit go.
Falling
In a world where you can be anything, be kind.
Joints creaking
Going to bed early. Not going to the party.
Going to sleep early.
Saying no.
Cutting my losses and walking away.
Choosing my battles wisely.
Recognizing patterns.
Making better choices.
going to work
Caring less about failing. Knowing I will fail helps me push to learn and understand things better.
Managing my emmotion, not jumping to conclussion
Masterdating!
Not giving a flying f…
Recognizing when and how someone is lying to me.
Resilience – If you’ve survived tough times, you know you can handle more.
Being picky with who I sleep and date and being blunt.
Ironically enough, losing weight. I thought I was fucked when I hit 30. Lost 6kg so far when I finally started a proper calorie deficit in August.
People taking me seriously 😅
Dealing with catastrophic events/trauma.
I used to have actual meltdowns. Now 5% of the time I might tear up a little bit, but I pick myself up fairly quickly and just roll with the punches.
Cursing in front of my parents and other close family
Cutting people out of your life that are messing with your personal and mental peace
it can feel so liberating honestly!
Telling somebody that their parents died in a horrific car crash
Gaining weight
Nothing, it only gets worse.
Controlling erections. Highschool math class was so bad with the cute girl sitting behind me.many years later you get good control over when it happens.
It's gotten harder for me.
It got easier to fold my erections in half the older I got
Running the 20m sprint.
Saying NO!
Not giving a shit
Saying no
Telling people to piss off
Saying no
Gaining weight.
Saying no without feeling guilty.
Throwing out my back.
Using 'NO' as a complete sentence.
Economy of words. Economy of thoughts. Economy of actions.
Paying for shit.
Wanting to go bed
Piss your pants
People treating me badly 😔 It's ok, I'll survive
Accepting death
Higher order mathematics
Not being carded at a bar.
Walking away from toxic relationships.
To really know myself, what I want from life and from people, my role in their lives and my boundaries
Accidentally sitting on my balls
Sleeping!
I don't think I took a nap from 5-35 years old.
Dealing with work related stress and knowing I can only do the best that I can do.
For me it's been saying no. I've always put everyone before myself and have stopped doing that because I started to realize how unhappy I was.
Dressing up in whatever you want or as comfy as I want and never care what people might think of me.
Also been able to sleep a nap.
Admitting when I'm wrong.
Mastering patience
Letting go
Farting when I cough. So much easier now.
Losing people who aren’t good for you.
Falling asleep at night
Saying no
Loving myself
Shots / needles
Thinking with my upper head and ignoring my lower head
Being alone, and taking advantage of it.
honouring my needs, saying no, caring less what others think of me, sharing, asking for help, letting go
Saying "no".
Stealing from the grocery store at self check out those $4.99# apples get rang in for the cheapos at $1.49# the expensive Jamaican coffee by the grinder that goes right into the cheapest bag you have …no one bats an eye if you are old enough to claim confusion FYI no one has ever been successfully prosecuted for miss ringing food at a self check out the defense that you will use is that you can’t read
Taking to strangers
Seeing harmony in places I was trained not to.
to not give a sh*t
Moving on
Waking up
Studying
Forgetting things. Used to aggravate me. Would nearly go mad sitting there trying to remember. Now, I just accept it and move on.
Being cold?
falling asleep
Feeling pain
Staying calm.
Not being friends with everyone.
gaining weight
Life
understanding people understanding love
understanding people understanding love
Not giving a frick
Not caring
Standing up for yourself.
Letting unimportant people leave my social circle.
"Yeah we went to high school together but you've grown up to be an annoying dick....bye!"
Saying “No” and not caring what people think of me.
Saying good bye to your friends knowing itll be a long time until you see them again
Taking up space without guilt. It’s still a struggle but before I would literally walk a mile out of my way if that meant I didn’t have to risk making a car stop for me to cross the street and when I moved in my place (first place of my own!) I was terrified to make footsteps or make any other sound and do laundry since there’s only two washers/dryers, and here I am sometimes feeling brave enough to play my violin.
I have the same filing as Keanu Reeves
I'm at the stage in life where I stay out of arguments. Even if you say 1+1=5, you're right. Have fun.
I'm 64 and it's so much easier to read than in my younger days.
Bringing my own slippers to a party.
Being alone.
Making friends. We're all too old to worry about the popular table in the lunchroom. "You like what I like? Let's be friends"
Losing my patience.
Like today, when I saw this post, I tried to log in, but for some reason, even after I used the Login Link, and resetting my password, it didn't work, and it frustrated me to no end and ruined my whole day. It's only after hours that I was able to log in through another phone when I got home. I hate how bad I've gotten through how minor of an inconvenience this was...
bottoming
I think it's easier to eat whatever delicious food you want.
Not caring what people think of me. I can't control what people think of me or say about me so why let it bother me?
Being gentle with myself