Birds. Sounds simple. But, it's actually quite complex. I knew i needed something to care enough about to get out of bed and keep going. I put up a feeder I had stashed away. Filled it, and the birds arrived. They kept coming. And I began to really want to understand them. And to identify the different species... it led to me diving deeply into all things birds. Their biology, birds in different parts of the world, the year 'round birds here on my property as well as the migrators that vome here to raise their broods. I got binoculars, and field guides, downloaded some apps, began listening to bird podcasts. I Became involved with some online birding communities. And, here I am a couple of years later still admiring the tenacity, and will to survive these little creatures possess. They awaken each morning, despite the difficulties and obstacles and they sing like the world is a glorious place to be. So, they give me hope. And help me to find my own inner strength and will to keep going. And best of all, watching them gives me peace. True peace deep in my soul. I still feel sadness due to some very difficult things I've faced. But, the birds certainly changed my day to feeling of overwhelming fatigue and gave me a new purpose to look forward to.
Birds are representatives of nature accessible almost anywhere. If you can muster the energy to look out a window, with luck, there’s your joy. If you’re too tired to open your eyes, through a cracked window you might hear them.
Everywhere I’ve lived I’ve watched the birds first, and it helped me to feel at home in the place. Even the poor pigeons in the subway are a sign of life outside of human affairs.
Get a feeder if you can find a way to put one out, if you can open a window they have them that can suction to the outside. It’s fascinating watching them over the years. The same ones that come back time and time again and then bring their young. You get to watch their families change over generations.
So perfect- I read a story by Douglas Coupland called “Things that fly” and I swear it’s about your exact experience with birds. They helped me to- just a little flicker that there are good things in the world.
I sometimes wonder if some aspects of depression in the modern world come from a last of brain-challenging tasks. Learning about birds (or any detailed niche subject) makes sense to me as a significant help. I read Wikipedia articles to fall asleep usually, it calms me immensely.
I started birding young by peer pressure. I grew up in a birding hotspot in Ecuador. Now as an adult I’m still a birder and I’ve always thought that birding helped me appreciate and enjoy life and motivated me in so many different ways. As you said, it’s not just watching them, it’s understanding and joy of the complexities of nature and sharing a moment with another living creature.
I have a hummingbird feeder and 3 hummers that are regulars to it. If that feeder is empty or missing, one of the hummers will fly right up to me as if to say get my food b*$ch. They always make me smile no matter how crappy I feel.
This reminds me of the shrimp guy. In my opinion, life is about loving something with your whole heart. You HAVE TO be obsessed with something - that's what makes living fun.
I swear I can become a huge fan and friend of anyone who is passionate about something and willing to share, even if its something I could not make myself stay awake for. If someone loves it in a truly geeky depth, I love getting to catch glimpses through their eyes!
. . . Conversely, people who don't have that or won't admit to it . . . Interacting with them drains me so fast and hard it's hard to function
Oh yeah, me too. My best friend is a DnD nerd - most of the time I have no clue what he's on about, but he's been talking for an hour and he's so excited about it I can't help it but sit there and nod enthusiastically
The American Birding podcast is good. Birdnote is as well. But, my very favorite is The Science Of Birds podcast. Its just fantastic! The host and creator Ivan Phillipsen also has a website of the same name where you can go see the breakdown of all the episodes. I have listened to them all , most several times. Its very, very informative and fun. I even became a patreon member simply because I am that impressed with it. I have never joined anything like that before. But it has really enhanced my birding experience so much!
It has never left, ebbed and flowed throughout the years, though. Have tried so many self help techniques, therapy, etc. I think depression is just my default setting and I live at peace with it most of the time.
Same. My depression isn’t gone, but I have more self care routines in place for when I notice it getting worse.
Am I eating enough food/drinking water? Have I left the house and gotten sunlight? When was the last time I laughed/cried? When was last I spoke to family/friends? Where am I in my menstrual cycle (if applicable)?
These all start to add up. The plan is to have small and easy ways to address pain points without too much effort. It takes time, so choose one habit and be mindful with it. When that works starting adding the next.
And most of all give yourself grace. We are animals who have convinced themselves that we are special. Where all monkeys playing house.
So very true. I work a lot, by choice. It keeps me occupied and makes me feel useful. Home is just where I am when I'm not at work. I almost dread my days off.
How does the laugh/cry thing work for you? I know it’s bad when I can’t do either, and it often lasts for months-years, but I can’t make myself laugh or cry to get feelings moving
It’s more of a personal thing to intentionally trigger those emotions. I actively seek media that will make me cry or laugh. There are songs that make me cry in an instant, so when I feel heavy mentally I put them on and cry it out.
For Laughter my go to is standup comedy and podcasts, if I’m not trying to be social. But the best medicine is friendship and family that I can just shoot the shit with and giggle.
Yeah. I'm 58 yrs old. All of my adult life. Ebbs and flows like you said. I've learned to not succumb to the darkest tendencies. I'll go for a 15 min walk, cook something healthy, go get a pedicure (not all in one day - I'm not that motivated when I'm depressed), just something. Because mood follows action, not the other way around. I've accepted it. I walk with it instead of fighting it and I'm less exhausted.
Edited to add - I've been in years of therapy, many different meds and I definitely think those things helped. Gave me the skills that I mentioned above.
congratulations!!!! 55 and pretty much the same EXCEPT saying my depression "ebbs and flows" is much nicer to yourself than I have been and hearing those words has given me yet another reason to keep moving forward.....having been in the military my vocab is very harsh I would say Im fighting it or struggling; that really just made me tense. ebbing and flowing ? is really more relatable to me. thanks. Trust me when I say that its all these little things no matter how insignificant; if it resonates with you then use it.
Yeah. Reframing actually kinda works. Also. Radical acceptance. Like when I have a reaaaalllly awful day. Depression is mean, vindictive, insidious and just all around awful - I don't need to be its partner in crime.
Yeah you never really lose it. It's a part of you; it's how your brain is wired. You just do your best to find healthier ways to handle it when it does get bad, and try not to let it get the best of you. Sometimes it's an easy fight, sometimes it isn't.
I have felt this way from a young age. My memory of these feelings goes back 50 years. I've managed to live my life, love, have multiple careers, raised 3 kids (ex)husband, lovers, friends. Really don't know why I'm still here.
Do you have hobbies? Do you feel joy? I'm 24 and I've wanted to die since I was 5, sometimes I feel better but I hate thinking about the future. How do you feel about your life?
Joy is so very fleeting. It does happen sometimes. Enough to keep me here, I guess. It is usually the simplest things. My dog. Music. Art. Unexpected kind gestures. Forgiveness from one of my children recently for my lack of parenting skills.
I wanted to die since I was five too! Never heard anyone else admit it. Thought I was a weird kid. I’m 64 now, and have wanted to die multiple times. Funny thing, most of my life I wondered why a 5 year old would want to die. At age 64, after two weeks of intense therapy, I figured it out! Each day is a struggle, but I hold on to hope. Hope is forward thinking. Sometimes hope is all we have. Other times, we’re able to reflect on all of our blessings. Life. It’s a mixed bag. One thing I know to be true, no one can take away our happy memories. Love to all of you. You’re not alone. 💕
Yeah I think that's what happens over time. If you get past the suicidal phase, you then just accept that that's life, and live in the mire with occasional good days.
Yeah. It doesn’t leave, it modulates. Depressions is a lens you see the world through. I’m not even sure I’d call it an illness as it’s just the way I am. Good habits, meds when necessary, and some talk therapy have worked wonders for me. I have never felt better. That said, ymmv. It’s different for everyone. The only constant I’ve been able to discern is that it’s never gone, it’s just turned down low enough that it doesn’t bother me.
Similar thoughts also came to my mind several times. My depression lasts more than 10 years now, and I sometimes think it's just my nature. I was happy and full of energy as a kid, but at some point it just broke... And I can do nothing but accept it and try to live the best life despite these dark clouds passing over my mind.
Yeah, it just shows up every now and then, sometimes heavily. I just keep in mind that itll pass. Its good to have the attitude like "You again? Really? Fuck you" and go about doing whatever you were doing.
That's what helps me the most. I'm an engineer. I like to rip things down to the nuts and bolts to examine each piece, understand its function, reassemble, and try to optimize.
This doesn't translate perfectly to emotions, but I've discovered the more that I understand what each emotion truly is, how to separate them, their causes, it helps me connect the dots between past and present life experiences to readjust or cope going forward.
In short, becoming more emotionally intelligent and more cognitive of my feelings helps a great deal.
Meds. You can do all the lifestyle changes - and you should - but it's not the solution for everyone. I needed meds for treatment resistant depression. Life is still hard, but I can get out of bed and don't cry every day.
Same. I'm a therapist and believe in therapy but at some point, some people just need medications. I had the same issue with my bipolar disorder. Therapy has helped with the stuff meds don't hit, but I could do a thousand hours of therapy and it wouldn't touch the mania or depression.
I talked to a therapist once (somewhat under duress). He said the first thing he does is get them off meds. I asked him if he'd kick a crutch out from under a person with one leg. He was adamant that nobody needed them.
Yikes! Bad therapist, I'm sorry you had to deal with that. Medications are a hot topic in the field, ranging from med negative to med positive as my supervisor says. I'm more neutral. They have strengths, some want them, some dont, some may need them (treatment resistand depression or anxiety or say psychotic disorders), but I wouldnt force someone to go on meds or off meds. Not my scope of practice!
This was big for me as well. Finally being diagnosed and medicated for ADHD in my late twenties was the most wonderful and validating thing in the world.
Turns out you get pretty depressed when it's impossible to function properly and you're continously being told its your own fault.
Now thankfully all I have to deal with the comments about being addicted to "legalized meth". Those same people saying that nonsense usually don't even know that inattentive adhd exists.
It’s so ridiculous when people call it meth. If it’s meth, why am I not missing teeth? Why do I not have sores all over my skin? If anything, when I have my meds I look more put together because I can groom myself properly.
Same. Sertraline and exercise. We're all different but for me I need vigorous exercise whether its sport or cycling or whatever. Also staying off the booze
Same. A therapist, a psychiatrist, and a primary care physician helped diagnose. I had chronic depression and it turned out I have a few different mental disabilities so meds and therapy and I play video games (currently playing thru some n64 emulated games) and make sure I keep my house clean. It's easy to let that slip.
Antidepressants have been tried unsuccessfully. It is not a matter of lack of the correct neurotransmitters for me. It is a matter of life situation and conditioning to situations and treatment from an early age that have not been mentally healthy. Unconsciously repeating patterns to my detriment.
I'm sorry to hear that mate. All I can say is what worked for me. As I posted elsewhere, I just want to say please don't give up. I hope you find a solution that works for you
Yup. Sertraline gave me the ability to save my life. Without it, I didn't have the ability to do so due to the constant harassment my own brain was doing to me.
I’m afraid only because i’ve never heard of a single med that doesn’t have side effects, and also the stigma. I know these are all petty stuff, i know :(
Yeah I get that. I've never really been concerned about side effects. I accept the risks vs the benefits of the outcome but that's just me. As I've mentioned elsewhere, it may take time to find the right type and dosage that works for you. I appreciate some the stigma in some societies, but I'd say you getting better is more important. Genuine best wishes to you
I just started Sertraline and I’m ngl I’m calling my doc to stop it on Monday because holy crap I feel so much worse, I thought I could handle it, I was warned but holy crud this is rough. I get short term loss and long term gain but no way.
Yeah I know what you mean mate. It took me time to work out what was best for me. I tried a few different types and dosages before I settled on Sertraline. I didn't mean for the above to sound like a quick fix. It does take time. All I can say is don't give up. If something doesn't work for you then talk about it and discuss other alternatives. Good luck to you mate
There's no cure for me, there is just another day and choosing to try again and again. Helping others when they're low helps me learn how ti help myself. Talking to others that know what it's like eases the hurt too.
Quitting drinking and smoking weed, seeing a therapist, and the right medication. I was horribly addicted to alcohol and that transferred over to marijuana after I got sober from booze. I used various drugs over the years, had a little bit of a problem with Meth for two years and started drinking heavily when I stopped using that. It took having alcohol withdrawals that included auditory and visual hallucinations for me to get my shit together and quit drinking. It also took a few different medications to find out what worked for me.
Whoever said that I got out of it I’m wallowing in it right now. I’m partially blind nearly completely paralyzed from the waist down. It’s a bad place. I’m in right now. I hope you find the help that you need.
Moving to a new state. Starting over. Walking. Boxing. Chose a walking city. Letting go of toxic things. Eating well. Zepbound. Rinse. Repeat. Being kind to myself.
Microdose ketamine therapy. Clinical depression for 20 years, and still on sertraline and Wellbutrin, but ketamine was the only thing that made me actively want to live, instead of just passively suicidal
I honestly encourage anyone with depression to try it, especially if the depression hasn't let up in years. It is the only thing that actually made a difference and improved my life, instead of just kept me hanging on for a bit longer.
Depression is a combo of life shit, body shit, and brain shit. I can say I've beaten it into manageability, which I truly believe is the highest achievable goal.
I sat down during a moment of lucidity and just evaluated all the life shit that I needed to fix. Abusive BF, dangerous living situation, harassing coworker, stressful job, etc. Down to the gnat's ass- bank account fees too high- everything that was a stress or negative in my life. Then I methodically made plans to change Every. Single. One. Not because I wanted to- my brain was sick and I knew it- but because I knew if I didn't make big changes I would always feel this way.
Dropped the bf, got a new apt, job transfer, new bank etc... Then I started a list of life stuff that would make me actively HAPPIER. Happiness is an action, usually a result of choices you've made in the past. So I started planting seeds. Joined a book club. Bought some paints. Started an IRA. Made a budget. And again- not because I wanted to at the time at all.
My body. Exercise is a key component of the depression battle. I went to different gyms, tried new classes, tried childhood sports again. Joined an intramural team, joined a gym, started eating healthier. Keep in mind, I did this while still waking up every morning, sobbing. But I forced myself. I would jog 2 miles, have a quick crying jag on the side of the road, run home. I started taking supplements- vitamin D, B-complex, magnesium. Some days were so dark I could only choke down Ensure and I've thrown up some of those pills too- but I knew they would eventually yield benefit. Now I take them on a schedule. I exercise at least 3x/wk, and I've found my favorite exercises.
Brain shit. Hardest obstacle. I found an excellent psychotherapist who both prescribes and does talk therapy. It's been a decade of work now. We have tried multiple medications, and we've learned a lot. But my body and the science keeps changing, and as frustrating as it is, I've come to accept that whatever may work today may not tomorrow. I'm staring down the barrell of menopause in the next decade too. I've also recently discovered part of my anxiety and depression was actually caused by untreated ADHD. Which was sort of shocking given my degrees and professional success without medication for 40 years.
With these powers combined, I am... not depressed. The vast majority of the time. My health is better. My head is better. All my seeds are sprouting, and I plant new ones every day. I'm happily married to a wonderful man, and we've started a family.
It's like losing weight- It's not easy, but it is simple. We know a lot of factors that influence depression. It is a disease. I manage it actively like someone with any other disease. I force myself to stick to my routine when my brain wants to stay home. I treat my brain like a child that needs to be taken care of- nooooo you can't sit at home in the dark and eat a pint of ice cream. It's gym time. If you do that, then you get video games later. After eating your vegetables young lady!
When I'm starting to feel depressed I let it ride. I just give in to it. I lay down on my couch and I'll put a movie on that I like for background noise, or I listen to music. On rare occasion I find someone who can actually listen to me talk, and that helps me.
I disagree, even depression has its ups and down. Some days worse than others. You can definitely ride out the worst of days. You don’t have to surrender your life to it.
Counselling helped me to identity the cause (a toxic work environment), friends helped me escape from it (sending me jobs to apply for, letting me stay when I went for interviews). As soon as I handed in my notice, I felt it lift.
My son. I was having hard time to get up every day and asking myself: what if I don’t have to get up ever? Then looking at my son’s face and realized that I needed to fight,not just for myself but my son. I was not alone in this world and someone needed me.
When my 2nd wife passed in 98 my son was my rock. He was only seven and made sure we got all the things we had to do got done. I did not ask him to, he just stepped up.
So, at my worst, I was basically living on my couch. I was existing on mostly junk food and mindlessly watching YouTube content all day. I was showering maybe every 10 days and would outline self-exit strategies, then consider what would happen if they failed.
One afternoon, I posted some random dark meme on Facebook. A friend I hadn’t seen in 20 years texted me saying she saw my post. We just texted a little and she asked me if I was safe. I said no. She asked me if I had a self exit plan. I told her I was working on it.
Then my doorbell rang. It was that friend. She just told me to put on my coat and get in her car. I looked like a deeply depressed woman who hadn’t showered in over a week, in my pajamas under my coat. But I was too tired to argue.
She got us coffees at a drive-thru and took me to her counselor’s office. She had made me an emergency appointment when she read my post. Her counselor helped me write a paper that had my one reason not to self exit on that day and sign it. At first, it was hard to find one reason. I wanted to just say “my dog” every day, but I had to find a reason because I had to have 7 in my notebook when I went to the counselor. Every week for 8 weeks. 56 reasons.
68 reasons in, I found out I was going to be a grandma for the third time. Suddenly, I was smiling so much and so big my face would hurt at night. I started crocheting a baby blanket. I started eating healthfully. I could come up with 3 reasons an hour.
That baby is a year old now. I’m 20 pounds lighter, quit smoking and started exercising. I still have bad days when I feel it creeping around the edges trying to destroy my happiness. Then I text my friend who saved me and ask her if we can go get a coffee. If she can’t, I call another friend and keep calling friends until someone can spare an hour to sit in the sunshine and talk.
I feed my depression flowers, sunlight, friends, laughter
and love. I want it to stay in a box in the back of my closet while I eat ice cream with my granddaughter.
I learned that my friend who saved me was in counseling for grief. Her husband had self-exited after a medical diagnosis. She never wanted to lose another person that way. I am so very thankful to have her in my life again.
Therapy, big life adjustments, medication, hot yoga, filtering social media or restricting its prevalence throughout the day.
It took more than one avenue and one time to achieve baseline peace🫶 it's been a rewarding journey and worth diggin deep to tackle. We got your front and back. Happy healing ❤️🩹✨
The truth about depression is that, for some people, it never goes away. It goes into periods of remission, but it doesn't get cured. People need to adjust their expectations of depression when they enter therapy. It doesn't make it go away, it just makes it easier to manage and helps you get out of depressive spirals.
The only thing that ever helped me was medication. I remember the moment the Prozac first kicked in, more than thirty years ago. It was as if someone suddenly cranked up the lights. Everything looked brighter and cleaner. Since then I've been on four or five other meds and I plan to continue taking Effexor for the rest of my life.
Sort help from a psychologist and had cognitive behavioral therapy. Can highly recommend it. Medication can only do so much, but it’s important to get to the root cause of things and how to change your patterns of negative thinking.
Drive to an athletic field. Stand on one side, and then run as fast as you can to the other side. Catch your breath, then do it again. Keep going until you feel like you're about to die. If you're doing it right, it will only take a few times. If you do it right, it will be the hardest thing you do all day. It will be like the volume on the rest of your life is turned down.
At my lowest point was suicidal. Overworked and burnt out I fell asleep at the wheel. Realized I in fact don’t want to be dead, and started making small but consistent choices with the notion of “things can be better” in mind.
Took time, but am much better now. Hitting my mid 20s helped too, brain chemistry leveling out a bit and all that.
My best unsolicited advice:
Ask for help
Accept help
Help yourself
Give yourself grace
Remember improving your overall outlook isn’t a linear thing. Stumbles and setbacks happen. It’s ok.
Things can always be better. That’s a not a guarantee, it’s just a counter to the crushing feeling of “things can’t get better”.
This is a great thread, and so many responses align with my experience. I have dysthymia, which is a persistent low-level depression (with occasional acute episodes) that lasts for years. I’m mid-50’s and I first experienced depression at about 15, so it’s been a 35 year journey. For me, it never “goes away” and I will never “get out of it”. HOWEVER, I (like many others here) have learned how to live with it. I find things that make it worse or better - alcohol makes it worse, while friends make it better; social media makes it worse, but reading makes it better; isolation makes it worse, and exercise makes it better. Animals make it better (for me, cats in particular, but dogs work as well). Personally, SSRIs make it better. And by “better”, I mean…better. Not happy, not fine, not joyful…but better than it would be otherwise. And I’ve learned that that’s enough for me.
I’ve had depression my entire life to some degree. Since having my third child it’s just gone. I don’t quite understand why. I call my youngest my emotional support child
The latest time, it was A therapist who recognized my symptoms as low testosterone. I’m on a testosterone supplement and I feel like my normal self again.
But also, mild to moderate exercise, nature, accomplishing something small, recognizing my depression as my brain being a bitch, deep belly breaths. None of these cure depression. All of them help a little bit.
Happy cake day! I’m glad you’re here. I don’t know what kind of music you’re into, but bare naked ladies has a few awesome songs about depression, mental health, and meds.
Lots of therapy helped me identify and stop behavioral patterns that were leading me to people or situations that made me feel awful. Medication then helped me with the remainder of the ick.
I’ve had a lot of trauma, and starting from a very young age (I’m in my early thirties now). I think therapy is just going to be a regular part of what my brain requires for proper maintenance (and I’m cool with that - just wish it weren’t so expensive), and tweaking meds is also a semi-constant process, but both are very worth it. Adding other supportive behaviors and developing hobbies also helped, but therapy and meds were what gave me back the capacity to involve myself in those things again. I’m very happy with my life now even in spite of periods of more turbulence.
"No, you cant do it later. Get up and do it now."
"You have to do your chores before you can lie down for the day. No excuses."
"Not too many snacks- you won't have an appetite for dinner."
"You didnt eat breakfast or lunch... You need to make an nutritious meal to make up for it."
Literally said it aloud to myself.
I also thought about how doing your "chores" every day and every week is the highest form of self-care. Chores became a source of healing, because I was taking care of myself, even when I felt sad, down, and lonely. I was there for me.
I was hanging on by a thread (well, technically two threads... My two girls) when I had an emotional breakdown with a friend who introduced me to Lexapro. Quite literally saved my life.
I had to accept help, then got the right medication and I exercise. Having a dog also helps! They're always happy to see you and they need walks so it forces you to move around a bit.
Yes unconditional love! Take the dog out for short walks, let them explore. Sometimes the small change in scenery and being outside can change the mindset a little.
Step 1: Moved across the country and started completely over. I found somewhere that was the perfect pace for the life I wanted - somewhere more environmentally & culturally stimulating than where I grew up feeling trapped and like I didn’t belong.
Step 2: Adopted a kitten. He brought so much love and joy to my life. Helping him grow from a scrawny shelter kitten to the healthy, goofy, curious boy he is today gave me a purpose in life each day.
Step 3: Found my family. I now belong to a family of five - my fiancé, his daughter, and our (now two!) cats. I still have hard days, but building a home with them has given me so much more positive energy. On days where it feels like I could lay in bed all day, I know they are worried about me and waiting to spend time with me. I have a lot less days now that I feel have been stolen from me. Every day I get to spend time with them and make new memories. I am so grateful.
Therapy and medication. That being said, I don't think you ever truly "get out" of having depression. You just continuously learn how to navigate it better. Eventually the good days outnumber the bad to the point where it's controlled enough to handle.
A few years ago I reached to my friends because I was going to end my life. I even wrote goodbye letters to friends, family and my then 3-4 year old son. I cried so much when I wrote that letter.
My friends came round and comforted me and I knew I needed to get some serious help. So I did. I did it for my son. My friends and my family.
I’ve had therapy and I’ve taken antidepressants (though I don’t anymore) as now I go to the gym and I’m making my way in life; currently doing a degree etc.
Those days were very dark for me but my son is what made me push through. He’s my little sunshine ☀️
I'm wary of suggesting this because obviously it wouldn't be right for everybody, depending on you circumstances, but I'm can honestly say that since I became a father, I've never been depressed a day in my life. And I had some pretty bleak times in the past.
I just love him too much to think of ever wanting to leave this world now. I need to be there for him. And that's enough to get me through anything.
Getting the right diagnosis. I spent 15 years thinking it was just ‘me,’ and it turned out to be PMDD. Medication changed everything. I’ve had four years now of actually wanting to wake up in the morning.
A decade of therapy, medication, and big lifestyle changes (e.g. exercise, diet, changing my sleep habits). You need to persist with it as you may not see results for months or years; I only really saw a major shift after about 5 years of effort. A lot of trial and error initially to figure out how to manage my moods.
Thyroid meds. I was depressed all my life, sometimes severely. Finally, the found out I was hypothyroid. I went onto thyroid meds and now, since 2009, I am not depressed.
I don't think I had severe depression but a close friend of mine who also had depression helped me feel better after I helped him overcome his own depression (we're like besties now, or as close as we can possibly be online despite not living local)
Medication fully got rid of it as well as getting out of the situation that was giving me depression, as well as growing up (my depression was when I was younger) now I am fine as long as I take my meds and my environment isn’t fucked. But last year when I stopped taking them I nearly klled myself so I’m not doing that again 💀
My husbands love, my mothers love, necessary psychiatric support through meds, healing sessions with professionals, psilocybin journeys, spiritual journeys and a very spiritual life.
My depression only came from extended periods of being alone. How i fixed it was going places with people that i know love me. I know that wont be able to help most people but just my experience.
I hope all of u peeps stay safe and just know even though i don’t know u just know i love u. 🩷
I think it can be situational or chronic. Having said that, medication has helped me. And the most important thing my Brothers and Sisters is that if you ever get so deep, seek help. Life turns for the better and you want to wait for the turn because it is beautiful when it happens.
Keep hope.
Started playing destiny 1 with 2 friends, got really into it & fixated with my ADHD. In the end I forgot to take my depression meds & realised I didn’t need them, then I returned to work.
Prior to that, on the days when I would just wake up depressed for no reason, I would make a nice proper meal for myself. It would take me all damn day. Perhaps two days. But it would break the back of the depression that otherwise could last for months.
And then for SAD, a walk out in the blue light of dawn would stave it off.
Day-to-day, I had a harshy critical 'inner voice' and started arguing in my head with it. I'd think 'wow you're crap' and then think 'No I'm not! I'm trying my best! And I'm not trying to hurt other people!' and so on. It felt silly, but it did get that voice to eventually go silent, and now I get much nicer thoughts.
But none of those coping mechanisms have been anywhere near as lasting or effective as lamotragine. I didn't know how much mental energy was going into fighting off depression until it was gone.
Birds. Sounds simple. But, it's actually quite complex. I knew i needed something to care enough about to get out of bed and keep going. I put up a feeder I had stashed away. Filled it, and the birds arrived. They kept coming. And I began to really want to understand them. And to identify the different species... it led to me diving deeply into all things birds. Their biology, birds in different parts of the world, the year 'round birds here on my property as well as the migrators that vome here to raise their broods. I got binoculars, and field guides, downloaded some apps, began listening to bird podcasts. I Became involved with some online birding communities. And, here I am a couple of years later still admiring the tenacity, and will to survive these little creatures possess. They awaken each morning, despite the difficulties and obstacles and they sing like the world is a glorious place to be. So, they give me hope. And help me to find my own inner strength and will to keep going. And best of all, watching them gives me peace. True peace deep in my soul. I still feel sadness due to some very difficult things I've faced. But, the birds certainly changed my day to feeling of overwhelming fatigue and gave me a new purpose to look forward to.
I feel this. Same thing (minus the feeder).
Birds are representatives of nature accessible almost anywhere. If you can muster the energy to look out a window, with luck, there’s your joy. If you’re too tired to open your eyes, through a cracked window you might hear them.
Everywhere I’ve lived I’ve watched the birds first, and it helped me to feel at home in the place. Even the poor pigeons in the subway are a sign of life outside of human affairs.
Get a feeder if you can find a way to put one out, if you can open a window they have them that can suction to the outside. It’s fascinating watching them over the years. The same ones that come back time and time again and then bring their young. You get to watch their families change over generations.
Birds are good. Allegedly, the sound of birds in the morning awakens the stomata in plants.
This is beautiful. So happy that you found hope and inspiration in them.
So perfect- I read a story by Douglas Coupland called “Things that fly” and I swear it’s about your exact experience with birds. They helped me to- just a little flicker that there are good things in the world.
I sometimes wonder if some aspects of depression in the modern world come from a last of brain-challenging tasks. Learning about birds (or any detailed niche subject) makes sense to me as a significant help. I read Wikipedia articles to fall asleep usually, it calms me immensely.
Seems like a relaxing hobby, really fun to
I started birding young by peer pressure. I grew up in a birding hotspot in Ecuador. Now as an adult I’m still a birder and I’ve always thought that birding helped me appreciate and enjoy life and motivated me in so many different ways. As you said, it’s not just watching them, it’s understanding and joy of the complexities of nature and sharing a moment with another living creature.
I have a hummingbird feeder and 3 hummers that are regulars to it. If that feeder is empty or missing, one of the hummers will fly right up to me as if to say get my food b*$ch. They always make me smile no matter how crappy I feel.
This reminds me of the shrimp guy. In my opinion, life is about loving something with your whole heart. You HAVE TO be obsessed with something - that's what makes living fun.
I swear I can become a huge fan and friend of anyone who is passionate about something and willing to share, even if its something I could not make myself stay awake for. If someone loves it in a truly geeky depth, I love getting to catch glimpses through their eyes!
. . . Conversely, people who don't have that or won't admit to it . . . Interacting with them drains me so fast and hard it's hard to function
Oh yeah, me too. My best friend is a DnD nerd - most of the time I have no clue what he's on about, but he's been talking for an hour and he's so excited about it I can't help it but sit there and nod enthusiastically
Thank you for sharing your story! Could you recommend some good bird podcasts?
The American Birding podcast is good. Birdnote is as well. But, my very favorite is The Science Of Birds podcast. Its just fantastic! The host and creator Ivan Phillipsen also has a website of the same name where you can go see the breakdown of all the episodes. I have listened to them all , most several times. Its very, very informative and fun. I even became a patreon member simply because I am that impressed with it. I have never joined anything like that before. But it has really enhanced my birding experience so much!
It has never left, ebbed and flowed throughout the years, though. Have tried so many self help techniques, therapy, etc. I think depression is just my default setting and I live at peace with it most of the time.
Same. My depression isn’t gone, but I have more self care routines in place for when I notice it getting worse.
Am I eating enough food/drinking water? Have I left the house and gotten sunlight? When was the last time I laughed/cried? When was last I spoke to family/friends? Where am I in my menstrual cycle (if applicable)?
These all start to add up. The plan is to have small and easy ways to address pain points without too much effort. It takes time, so choose one habit and be mindful with it. When that works starting adding the next.
And most of all give yourself grace. We are animals who have convinced themselves that we are special. Where all monkeys playing house.
So very true. I work a lot, by choice. It keeps me occupied and makes me feel useful. Home is just where I am when I'm not at work. I almost dread my days off.
Do you have any hobbies? You need balance.
I used to. Most of them have fallen by the wayside.
How does the laugh/cry thing work for you? I know it’s bad when I can’t do either, and it often lasts for months-years, but I can’t make myself laugh or cry to get feelings moving
It’s more of a personal thing to intentionally trigger those emotions. I actively seek media that will make me cry or laugh. There are songs that make me cry in an instant, so when I feel heavy mentally I put them on and cry it out.
For Laughter my go to is standup comedy and podcasts, if I’m not trying to be social. But the best medicine is friendship and family that I can just shoot the shit with and giggle.
Yeah. I'm 58 yrs old. All of my adult life. Ebbs and flows like you said. I've learned to not succumb to the darkest tendencies. I'll go for a 15 min walk, cook something healthy, go get a pedicure (not all in one day - I'm not that motivated when I'm depressed), just something. Because mood follows action, not the other way around. I've accepted it. I walk with it instead of fighting it and I'm less exhausted.
Edited to add - I've been in years of therapy, many different meds and I definitely think those things helped. Gave me the skills that I mentioned above.
congratulations!!!! 55 and pretty much the same EXCEPT saying my depression "ebbs and flows" is much nicer to yourself than I have been and hearing those words has given me yet another reason to keep moving forward.....having been in the military my vocab is very harsh I would say Im fighting it or struggling; that really just made me tense. ebbing and flowing ? is really more relatable to me. thanks. Trust me when I say that its all these little things no matter how insignificant; if it resonates with you then use it.
Yeah. Reframing actually kinda works. Also. Radical acceptance. Like when I have a reaaaalllly awful day. Depression is mean, vindictive, insidious and just all around awful - I don't need to be its partner in crime.
Yeah you never really lose it. It's a part of you; it's how your brain is wired. You just do your best to find healthier ways to handle it when it does get bad, and try not to let it get the best of you. Sometimes it's an easy fight, sometimes it isn't.
This is such a good description. Thank you.
I feel that too, I am use to it now
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I have felt this way from a young age. My memory of these feelings goes back 50 years. I've managed to live my life, love, have multiple careers, raised 3 kids (ex)husband, lovers, friends. Really don't know why I'm still here.
Do you have hobbies? Do you feel joy? I'm 24 and I've wanted to die since I was 5, sometimes I feel better but I hate thinking about the future. How do you feel about your life?
Joy is so very fleeting. It does happen sometimes. Enough to keep me here, I guess. It is usually the simplest things. My dog. Music. Art. Unexpected kind gestures. Forgiveness from one of my children recently for my lack of parenting skills.
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I wanted to die since I was five too! Never heard anyone else admit it. Thought I was a weird kid. I’m 64 now, and have wanted to die multiple times. Funny thing, most of my life I wondered why a 5 year old would want to die. At age 64, after two weeks of intense therapy, I figured it out! Each day is a struggle, but I hold on to hope. Hope is forward thinking. Sometimes hope is all we have. Other times, we’re able to reflect on all of our blessings. Life. It’s a mixed bag. One thing I know to be true, no one can take away our happy memories. Love to all of you. You’re not alone. 💕
Yeah I think that's what happens over time. If you get past the suicidal phase, you then just accept that that's life, and live in the mire with occasional good days.
Yeah. It doesn’t leave, it modulates. Depressions is a lens you see the world through. I’m not even sure I’d call it an illness as it’s just the way I am. Good habits, meds when necessary, and some talk therapy have worked wonders for me. I have never felt better. That said, ymmv. It’s different for everyone. The only constant I’ve been able to discern is that it’s never gone, it’s just turned down low enough that it doesn’t bother me.
This is my current situation. I’m starting to just make peace with it being my default
I've never seen it said so right.
Thank you. Nice to know I am not alone.
Yeah. I guess I'm a bit fortunate that valleys are spaced 3-6 years apart, I just wish I understood that when I was 18, not 50.
This is me as well. It comes and goes. I just deal with it. My anxiety though, that is always present 😮💨
Look up “existential depression” if you haven’t heard the word
Good answer.
This!! Default!!
This is also me
Well put, I feel the same way
Similar thoughts also came to my mind several times. My depression lasts more than 10 years now, and I sometimes think it's just my nature. I was happy and full of energy as a kid, but at some point it just broke... And I can do nothing but accept it and try to live the best life despite these dark clouds passing over my mind.
Born without a working thyroid, and depression is my constant companion.
It's never gone away, but I have to work to keep it managed. It's exhausting, and I sympathize with you.
This. Especially this time of year.
Yeah, it just shows up every now and then, sometimes heavily. I just keep in mind that itll pass. Its good to have the attitude like "You again? Really? Fuck you" and go about doing whatever you were doing.
I hear what you eat can effect it or past trauma..stuff that's kinda mysterious and always there.
Hello fellow Eyeore!
Read philosophy and dove into the deeper issues beneath why I was feeling that way.
An interesting way to deal with it
Yes but be careful not to overanalyse. That ended up being my problem. Overthinking = under feeling
That's what helps me the most. I'm an engineer. I like to rip things down to the nuts and bolts to examine each piece, understand its function, reassemble, and try to optimize.
This doesn't translate perfectly to emotions, but I've discovered the more that I understand what each emotion truly is, how to separate them, their causes, it helps me connect the dots between past and present life experiences to readjust or cope going forward.
In short, becoming more emotionally intelligent and more cognitive of my feelings helps a great deal.
While it’s still a work in progress this was key to my growth! Hard to fix what you don’t know is wrong.
Meds. You can do all the lifestyle changes - and you should - but it's not the solution for everyone. I needed meds for treatment resistant depression. Life is still hard, but I can get out of bed and don't cry every day.
My dad claims I just need to adjust my diet
My dad while I'm hospitalized for a days-long panic attack where they're literally giving me tranquilizers to slow my heart: "just calm down"
That is such a dad thing to say
Same. I'm a therapist and believe in therapy but at some point, some people just need medications. I had the same issue with my bipolar disorder. Therapy has helped with the stuff meds don't hit, but I could do a thousand hours of therapy and it wouldn't touch the mania or depression.
I talked to a therapist once (somewhat under duress). He said the first thing he does is get them off meds. I asked him if he'd kick a crutch out from under a person with one leg. He was adamant that nobody needed them.
My first try at therapy my therapist told me that once I accepted Jesus as my savior I’d be cured. Did not go back to that one!
Yikes! Bad therapist, I'm sorry you had to deal with that. Medications are a hot topic in the field, ranging from med negative to med positive as my supervisor says. I'm more neutral. They have strengths, some want them, some dont, some may need them (treatment resistand depression or anxiety or say psychotic disorders), but I wouldnt force someone to go on meds or off meds. Not my scope of practice!
Years of therapy did nothing for me and three days of meds picked me up.
Yea i'm not against therapy for other people but it personally never worked for me. Medication on the other hand has literally saved my life.
The meds that worked for me were ADHD medications.
Turns out my depression was caused by ADHD. Whaddayaknow
This was big for me as well. Finally being diagnosed and medicated for ADHD in my late twenties was the most wonderful and validating thing in the world.
Turns out you get pretty depressed when it's impossible to function properly and you're continously being told its your own fault.
Now thankfully all I have to deal with the comments about being addicted to "legalized meth". Those same people saying that nonsense usually don't even know that inattentive adhd exists.
It’s so ridiculous when people call it meth. If it’s meth, why am I not missing teeth? Why do I not have sores all over my skin? If anything, when I have my meds I look more put together because I can groom myself properly.
Doesn't that term include meds? Is there a term for depression that is resistant to meds?
Only answer. Mirtazapine at night and Wellbutrin in the morning. It’s a new world
I got help
Best thing I ever did. I spoke to a mental health nurse and then a doctor and I was prescribed Sertraline
On a day to day basis, I take my meds and I exercise if I can. Maybe read or game for a bit of escapism
Same. Sertraline and exercise. We're all different but for me I need vigorous exercise whether its sport or cycling or whatever. Also staying off the booze
Same. A therapist, a psychiatrist, and a primary care physician helped diagnose. I had chronic depression and it turned out I have a few different mental disabilities so meds and therapy and I play video games (currently playing thru some n64 emulated games) and make sure I keep my house clean. It's easy to let that slip.
Antidepressants have been tried unsuccessfully. It is not a matter of lack of the correct neurotransmitters for me. It is a matter of life situation and conditioning to situations and treatment from an early age that have not been mentally healthy. Unconsciously repeating patterns to my detriment.
I'm sorry to hear that mate. All I can say is what worked for me. As I posted elsewhere, I just want to say please don't give up. I hope you find a solution that works for you
Thank you. I keep myself busy to distract myself, but I'm also avoiding hard things I must address.
Personally, I recovered by reading the book "You are Not Sick"
Yup. Sertraline gave me the ability to save my life. Without it, I didn't have the ability to do so due to the constant harassment my own brain was doing to me.
Edit: Typo
I’m afraid only because i’ve never heard of a single med that doesn’t have side effects, and also the stigma. I know these are all petty stuff, i know :(
Yeah I get that. I've never really been concerned about side effects. I accept the risks vs the benefits of the outcome but that's just me. As I've mentioned elsewhere, it may take time to find the right type and dosage that works for you. I appreciate some the stigma in some societies, but I'd say you getting better is more important. Genuine best wishes to you
I just started Sertraline and I’m ngl I’m calling my doc to stop it on Monday because holy crap I feel so much worse, I thought I could handle it, I was warned but holy crud this is rough. I get short term loss and long term gain but no way.
Yeah I know what you mean mate. It took me time to work out what was best for me. I tried a few different types and dosages before I settled on Sertraline. I didn't mean for the above to sound like a quick fix. It does take time. All I can say is don't give up. If something doesn't work for you then talk about it and discuss other alternatives. Good luck to you mate
You just said what I was going to say.
nothing. it never passes. its like grief. i just learn how to live with it
So true
There's no cure for me, there is just another day and choosing to try again and again. Helping others when they're low helps me learn how ti help myself. Talking to others that know what it's like eases the hurt too.
How do you make that choice? What motivates you?
It's less motivation and more acceptance. I know who I am, I know what I need, no one is going to make a difference for me.
I understand completely. I have a job where I can be of service to others. I work as much as I can.
That's it, that's the stuff.
Quitting drinking and smoking weed, seeing a therapist, and the right medication. I was horribly addicted to alcohol and that transferred over to marijuana after I got sober from booze. I used various drugs over the years, had a little bit of a problem with Meth for two years and started drinking heavily when I stopped using that. It took having alcohol withdrawals that included auditory and visual hallucinations for me to get my shit together and quit drinking. It also took a few different medications to find out what worked for me.
I had to scroll so far to see someone say quit drinking! That was the key for me.
Accepting the negative events and feelings instead of always running from them/chasing positive feelings
Whoever said that I got out of it I’m wallowing in it right now. I’m partially blind nearly completely paralyzed from the waist down. It’s a bad place. I’m in right now. I hope you find the help that you need.
And I hope you live a happy life, you seem like a nice guy, I wish you only good things
Moving to a new state. Starting over. Walking. Boxing. Chose a walking city. Letting go of toxic things. Eating well. Zepbound. Rinse. Repeat. Being kind to myself.
Nothing. I've just learned to live with it. You have to be real honest with yourself and others about what you can and cannot do.
This is true too. You learn to live with it. People around learn as well. You adapt and make the best of it.
Microdose ketamine therapy. Clinical depression for 20 years, and still on sertraline and Wellbutrin, but ketamine was the only thing that made me actively want to live, instead of just passively suicidal
I'm en route to try to explore this path later next year. Fingers crossed!
I honestly encourage anyone with depression to try it, especially if the depression hasn't let up in years. It is the only thing that actually made a difference and improved my life, instead of just kept me hanging on for a bit longer.
Ketamine has also helped me, too. I wish it was longer lasting and less expensive, but it's better than wanting to die. 🤷🏻♀️
You say microdosing. Do you remember how much you were taking? My last session was 130mg (I believe), and I take it via nebulizer.
I used the maxi dose strategy. 20 grams snorted over a few weeks. A few hours tripping an dæistenong to music each night.
It has been 8 years now. Still haven't felt depressed or suicidal since
Depression is a combo of life shit, body shit, and brain shit. I can say I've beaten it into manageability, which I truly believe is the highest achievable goal.
I sat down during a moment of lucidity and just evaluated all the life shit that I needed to fix. Abusive BF, dangerous living situation, harassing coworker, stressful job, etc. Down to the gnat's ass- bank account fees too high- everything that was a stress or negative in my life. Then I methodically made plans to change Every. Single. One. Not because I wanted to- my brain was sick and I knew it- but because I knew if I didn't make big changes I would always feel this way.
Dropped the bf, got a new apt, job transfer, new bank etc... Then I started a list of life stuff that would make me actively HAPPIER. Happiness is an action, usually a result of choices you've made in the past. So I started planting seeds. Joined a book club. Bought some paints. Started an IRA. Made a budget. And again- not because I wanted to at the time at all.
My body. Exercise is a key component of the depression battle. I went to different gyms, tried new classes, tried childhood sports again. Joined an intramural team, joined a gym, started eating healthier. Keep in mind, I did this while still waking up every morning, sobbing. But I forced myself. I would jog 2 miles, have a quick crying jag on the side of the road, run home. I started taking supplements- vitamin D, B-complex, magnesium. Some days were so dark I could only choke down Ensure and I've thrown up some of those pills too- but I knew they would eventually yield benefit. Now I take them on a schedule. I exercise at least 3x/wk, and I've found my favorite exercises.
Brain shit. Hardest obstacle. I found an excellent psychotherapist who both prescribes and does talk therapy. It's been a decade of work now. We have tried multiple medications, and we've learned a lot. But my body and the science keeps changing, and as frustrating as it is, I've come to accept that whatever may work today may not tomorrow. I'm staring down the barrell of menopause in the next decade too. I've also recently discovered part of my anxiety and depression was actually caused by untreated ADHD. Which was sort of shocking given my degrees and professional success without medication for 40 years.
With these powers combined, I am... not depressed. The vast majority of the time. My health is better. My head is better. All my seeds are sprouting, and I plant new ones every day. I'm happily married to a wonderful man, and we've started a family.
It's like losing weight- It's not easy, but it is simple. We know a lot of factors that influence depression. It is a disease. I manage it actively like someone with any other disease. I force myself to stick to my routine when my brain wants to stay home. I treat my brain like a child that needs to be taken care of- nooooo you can't sit at home in the dark and eat a pint of ice cream. It's gym time. If you do that, then you get video games later. After eating your vegetables young lady!
It works. For me.
Antidepressants. I still have bad days, but before my meds every day was a bad day.
Same Prozac actually got me out of it
Escitalopram is what’s changed my life. I wouldn’t have a job right now without it.
When I'm starting to feel depressed I let it ride. I just give in to it. I lay down on my couch and I'll put a movie on that I like for background noise, or I listen to music. On rare occasion I find someone who can actually listen to me talk, and that helps me.
You've described feeling depressed or what sounds closer to feeling sad, but it's nowhere near what being depressed actually is unfortunately.
I disagree, even depression has its ups and down. Some days worse than others. You can definitely ride out the worst of days. You don’t have to surrender your life to it.
Counselling helped me to identity the cause (a toxic work environment), friends helped me escape from it (sending me jobs to apply for, letting me stay when I went for interviews). As soon as I handed in my notice, I felt it lift.
My son. I was having hard time to get up every day and asking myself: what if I don’t have to get up ever? Then looking at my son’s face and realized that I needed to fight,not just for myself but my son. I was not alone in this world and someone needed me.
When my 2nd wife passed in 98 my son was my rock. He was only seven and made sure we got all the things we had to do got done. I did not ask him to, he just stepped up.
So, at my worst, I was basically living on my couch. I was existing on mostly junk food and mindlessly watching YouTube content all day. I was showering maybe every 10 days and would outline self-exit strategies, then consider what would happen if they failed.
One afternoon, I posted some random dark meme on Facebook. A friend I hadn’t seen in 20 years texted me saying she saw my post. We just texted a little and she asked me if I was safe. I said no. She asked me if I had a self exit plan. I told her I was working on it.
Then my doorbell rang. It was that friend. She just told me to put on my coat and get in her car. I looked like a deeply depressed woman who hadn’t showered in over a week, in my pajamas under my coat. But I was too tired to argue.
She got us coffees at a drive-thru and took me to her counselor’s office. She had made me an emergency appointment when she read my post. Her counselor helped me write a paper that had my one reason not to self exit on that day and sign it. At first, it was hard to find one reason. I wanted to just say “my dog” every day, but I had to find a reason because I had to have 7 in my notebook when I went to the counselor. Every week for 8 weeks. 56 reasons.
68 reasons in, I found out I was going to be a grandma for the third time. Suddenly, I was smiling so much and so big my face would hurt at night. I started crocheting a baby blanket. I started eating healthfully. I could come up with 3 reasons an hour.
That baby is a year old now. I’m 20 pounds lighter, quit smoking and started exercising. I still have bad days when I feel it creeping around the edges trying to destroy my happiness. Then I text my friend who saved me and ask her if we can go get a coffee. If she can’t, I call another friend and keep calling friends until someone can spare an hour to sit in the sunshine and talk.
I feed my depression flowers, sunlight, friends, laughter and love. I want it to stay in a box in the back of my closet while I eat ice cream with my granddaughter.
I learned that my friend who saved me was in counseling for grief. Her husband had self-exited after a medical diagnosis. She never wanted to lose another person that way. I am so very thankful to have her in my life again.
Therapy, big life adjustments, medication, hot yoga, filtering social media or restricting its prevalence throughout the day.
It took more than one avenue and one time to achieve baseline peace🫶 it's been a rewarding journey and worth diggin deep to tackle. We got your front and back. Happy healing ❤️🩹✨
Nothing.
The truth about depression is that, for some people, it never goes away. It goes into periods of remission, but it doesn't get cured. People need to adjust their expectations of depression when they enter therapy. It doesn't make it go away, it just makes it easier to manage and helps you get out of depressive spirals.
You never get out of it. You just learn to manage it.
Therapy and cycling. Both alone and with friends (the cycling that is :) )
The only thing that ever helped me was medication. I remember the moment the Prozac first kicked in, more than thirty years ago. It was as if someone suddenly cranked up the lights. Everything looked brighter and cleaner. Since then I've been on four or five other meds and I plan to continue taking Effexor for the rest of my life.
Sort help from a psychologist and had cognitive behavioral therapy. Can highly recommend it. Medication can only do so much, but it’s important to get to the root cause of things and how to change your patterns of negative thinking.
CBT and DBT are amazing.
It’s a constant struggle. You don’t just get over it. Every day is a choice. Some days I’m successful; other days I’m not.
You don't get out of it. You learn how to manage it. Or try to, at least.
Depression does not go away it's something you deal with and hopeful in healthy ways. Some days are better and some are worse.
Drive to an athletic field. Stand on one side, and then run as fast as you can to the other side. Catch your breath, then do it again. Keep going until you feel like you're about to die. If you're doing it right, it will only take a few times. If you do it right, it will be the hardest thing you do all day. It will be like the volume on the rest of your life is turned down.
It isn't easy, but it sure is simple.
I will try it
It's definitely a thing. I feel much less anxious and defeatist after a heavy workout.
changing my diet and addressing genetic vitamin deficiencies
As others have said, it never really went away.
Getting help, some tablets and a good amount of exercise really helped
At my lowest point was suicidal. Overworked and burnt out I fell asleep at the wheel. Realized I in fact don’t want to be dead, and started making small but consistent choices with the notion of “things can be better” in mind.
Took time, but am much better now. Hitting my mid 20s helped too, brain chemistry leveling out a bit and all that.
My best unsolicited advice:
My dog. Going out three times a day for a walk literally saved me
This is a great thread, and so many responses align with my experience. I have dysthymia, which is a persistent low-level depression (with occasional acute episodes) that lasts for years. I’m mid-50’s and I first experienced depression at about 15, so it’s been a 35 year journey. For me, it never “goes away” and I will never “get out of it”. HOWEVER, I (like many others here) have learned how to live with it. I find things that make it worse or better - alcohol makes it worse, while friends make it better; social media makes it worse, but reading makes it better; isolation makes it worse, and exercise makes it better. Animals make it better (for me, cats in particular, but dogs work as well). Personally, SSRIs make it better. And by “better”, I mean…better. Not happy, not fine, not joyful…but better than it would be otherwise. And I’ve learned that that’s enough for me.
Good medication and a great therapist. Don't need either now.
I’ve had depression my entire life to some degree. Since having my third child it’s just gone. I don’t quite understand why. I call my youngest my emotional support child
Drugs. The prescription kind.
17 years still. Never got away.
The latest time, it was A therapist who recognized my symptoms as low testosterone. I’m on a testosterone supplement and I feel like my normal self again.
But also, mild to moderate exercise, nature, accomplishing something small, recognizing my depression as my brain being a bitch, deep belly breaths. None of these cure depression. All of them help a little bit.
Clinically depressed since 25. Without medication I’d probably be dead.
Happy cake day! I’m glad you’re here. I don’t know what kind of music you’re into, but bare naked ladies has a few awesome songs about depression, mental health, and meds.
Lots of therapy helped me identify and stop behavioral patterns that were leading me to people or situations that made me feel awful. Medication then helped me with the remainder of the ick.
I’ve had a lot of trauma, and starting from a very young age (I’m in my early thirties now). I think therapy is just going to be a regular part of what my brain requires for proper maintenance (and I’m cool with that - just wish it weren’t so expensive), and tweaking meds is also a semi-constant process, but both are very worth it. Adding other supportive behaviors and developing hobbies also helped, but therapy and meds were what gave me back the capacity to involve myself in those things again. I’m very happy with my life now even in spite of periods of more turbulence.
I started parenting myself.
"No, you cant do it later. Get up and do it now." "You have to do your chores before you can lie down for the day. No excuses." "Not too many snacks- you won't have an appetite for dinner." "You didnt eat breakfast or lunch... You need to make an nutritious meal to make up for it."
Literally said it aloud to myself.
I also thought about how doing your "chores" every day and every week is the highest form of self-care. Chores became a source of healing, because I was taking care of myself, even when I felt sad, down, and lonely. I was there for me.
Lexapro.
Almost killed me, it’s different for everyone I guess
I was hanging on by a thread (well, technically two threads... My two girls) when I had an emotional breakdown with a friend who introduced me to Lexapro. Quite literally saved my life.
Same. I would still be laid on my couch all day every day, hating myself, without it.
Lexapro has been a game changer. I am only on 5mg and it has changed my life.
Ending a bad relationship, getting a job with a shorter commute, and living alone
Sometimes we just really need some time with out no one, good for you mate
Therapy and meds
I had to accept help, then got the right medication and I exercise. Having a dog also helps! They're always happy to see you and they need walks so it forces you to move around a bit.
I have a dog and I get what you are saying, I feel that always something will be happy for seeing me
Yes unconditional love! Take the dog out for short walks, let them explore. Sometimes the small change in scenery and being outside can change the mindset a little.
I accepted that loving myself was an intentional act that was not always going to be easy, but was needed.
It's still here, but meds, meds help.
i am still stuck with it.
A dog. And what got me away from the edge, was getting a job.
Step 1: Moved across the country and started completely over. I found somewhere that was the perfect pace for the life I wanted - somewhere more environmentally & culturally stimulating than where I grew up feeling trapped and like I didn’t belong.
Step 2: Adopted a kitten. He brought so much love and joy to my life. Helping him grow from a scrawny shelter kitten to the healthy, goofy, curious boy he is today gave me a purpose in life each day.
Step 3: Found my family. I now belong to a family of five - my fiancé, his daughter, and our (now two!) cats. I still have hard days, but building a home with them has given me so much more positive energy. On days where it feels like I could lay in bed all day, I know they are worried about me and waiting to spend time with me. I have a lot less days now that I feel have been stolen from me. Every day I get to spend time with them and make new memories. I am so grateful.
I'm still here.
Therapy and medication. That being said, I don't think you ever truly "get out" of having depression. You just continuously learn how to navigate it better. Eventually the good days outnumber the bad to the point where it's controlled enough to handle.
Travelling
You get outta it?
There's a way out?
A few years ago I reached to my friends because I was going to end my life. I even wrote goodbye letters to friends, family and my then 3-4 year old son. I cried so much when I wrote that letter.
My friends came round and comforted me and I knew I needed to get some serious help. So I did. I did it for my son. My friends and my family.
I’ve had therapy and I’ve taken antidepressants (though I don’t anymore) as now I go to the gym and I’m making my way in life; currently doing a degree etc.
Those days were very dark for me but my son is what made me push through. He’s my little sunshine ☀️
I'm wary of suggesting this because obviously it wouldn't be right for everybody, depending on you circumstances, but I'm can honestly say that since I became a father, I've never been depressed a day in my life. And I had some pretty bleak times in the past. I just love him too much to think of ever wanting to leave this world now. I need to be there for him. And that's enough to get me through anything.
Getting the right diagnosis. I spent 15 years thinking it was just ‘me,’ and it turned out to be PMDD. Medication changed everything. I’ve had four years now of actually wanting to wake up in the morning.
Ego death during a heroic dose of mushrooms. Getting skullfucked by insert diety has a way of clearing the clouds.
Work that I believed in and wanted to do
A decade of therapy, medication, and big lifestyle changes (e.g. exercise, diet, changing my sleep habits). You need to persist with it as you may not see results for months or years; I only really saw a major shift after about 5 years of effort. A lot of trial and error initially to figure out how to manage my moods.
Therapy, Archery, reconnecting to my passions. Finding its OK to not be OK. To accept and identify when I need something different for my success.
Do Art ---- Make something, anything. It helps the subconciousness process our internal struggles. D
You don't have to show anybody anything. ART HEALS THE MIND
Nothing….but I’m not giving up! I’m doing better with meds and therapy. This has been a journey that I did not want to take.
Thyroid meds. I was depressed all my life, sometimes severely. Finally, the found out I was hypothyroid. I went onto thyroid meds and now, since 2009, I am not depressed.
Many things can make you feel depressed.
My antidepressant!
It was the second one I tried. The first one sucked. But everyone's different and unpredictable, so keep looking if the first doesn't work.
I'm so grateful, but my only regret is I didn't start until I was 38, 9 years ago. That's a lot of unnecessary unhappy.
I've been on Lexapro for a decade.
I tried mushrooms this year and I finally feel better.
After 40 years of trying, nothing.
if my life is getting shitty it always reappears. antidepressants and therapy keep it at bay for most of the time. but it never leaves completely.
I don't think I had severe depression but a close friend of mine who also had depression helped me feel better after I helped him overcome his own depression (we're like besties now, or as close as we can possibly be online despite not living local)
I was either gonna end it or start fucking living better. Something snapped and I chose life.
being busy 24/7
My weiner dog, lots of bike riding and lifting weights.
Medication and therapy
A new boyfriend
Leaving my ex.
Medication fully got rid of it as well as getting out of the situation that was giving me depression, as well as growing up (my depression was when I was younger) now I am fine as long as I take my meds and my environment isn’t fucked. But last year when I stopped taking them I nearly klled myself so I’m not doing that again 💀
My husbands love, my mothers love, necessary psychiatric support through meds, healing sessions with professionals, psilocybin journeys, spiritual journeys and a very spiritual life.
My depression only came from extended periods of being alone. How i fixed it was going places with people that i know love me. I know that wont be able to help most people but just my experience.
I hope all of u peeps stay safe and just know even though i don’t know u just know i love u. 🩷
I think it can be situational or chronic. Having said that, medication has helped me. And the most important thing my Brothers and Sisters is that if you ever get so deep, seek help. Life turns for the better and you want to wait for the turn because it is beautiful when it happens. Keep hope.
Psilocybin mushrooms.
Medication and Legos!
An excellent psychiatrist who diagnosed me correctly, and prescribed the appropriate medications. And a new puppy made everything 1000x better.
Weed.
I learned to try and take things easy for a while and be kind to myself.
I framed it in my head as mental exhaustion, so tried to treat my brain as if it was a broken bone for example.
Took me a long time to get to that stage of understanding though, but once I did I was better within a year.
Nothing can really just " get you out " exercise and working on self confidence helped I feel.
Cat memes
Started playing destiny 1 with 2 friends, got really into it & fixated with my ADHD. In the end I forgot to take my depression meds & realised I didn’t need them, then I returned to work.
Lamotragine.
Prior to that, on the days when I would just wake up depressed for no reason, I would make a nice proper meal for myself. It would take me all damn day. Perhaps two days. But it would break the back of the depression that otherwise could last for months.
And then for SAD, a walk out in the blue light of dawn would stave it off.
Day-to-day, I had a harshy critical 'inner voice' and started arguing in my head with it. I'd think 'wow you're crap' and then think 'No I'm not! I'm trying my best! And I'm not trying to hurt other people!' and so on. It felt silly, but it did get that voice to eventually go silent, and now I get much nicer thoughts.
But none of those coping mechanisms have been anywhere near as lasting or effective as lamotragine. I didn't know how much mental energy was going into fighting off depression until it was gone.
antidepressants and a dog. i had no choice but to get up every day to care for her