this is how me and my boyfriend got together, literally friends for years, nothing ever happened, no feelings at all, and one day it felt like we just both like each other, 1 year together now🥰
Literally same! My bf and I were close friends for 6+ years. We didn't start being attracted to each other until around the time we started going out. I'm going to be moving in with him soon!
The main thing after this date, if this person is clearly not your type, is not to think "it was a waste of time." Instead, you should be glad you didn't feel that nagging feeling before the meeting and were able to have a good time before realizing you weren't meant to be
The validation that comes from dating someone conventionally attractive. Nobody wants to sound shallow, but let's be real, that little ego boost when your friends are like "damn, how'd you pull that?" feels pretty good. It shouldn't be the main thing, obviously, but it's a perk people pretend doesn't exist.
I think, a little bit of possessiveness. We’re all taught to be super chill and secure, but secretly, it feels really good when someone makes it clear they don't want to share you. Obviously there's a line where it becomes controlling or toxic, but that "you're mine" energy is weirdly validating.
Some degree of possessiveness (I don't mean controlling or insecure behavior) would come with a monogamous relationship, whether we like to admit it or not
I think the secret is not getting specifically excited for any first date. It's just an opportunity to meet another person, which should be potentially fun in and of itself. Let your feelings develop after meeting them, in whatever direction they choose to go. All I was looking for out of a date was a story-the worst dates were the boring ones!
First dates generally suck. There's an incredible amount posturing and evaluation as you try to figure out if this is a person you want to spend more time with while you carefully control how much of yourself you show. It's exhausting.
I mean, sure, in theory it's exciting. There's all this dramatic tension about how cool and interesting this new and unknown person could be, but I find that it's generally not as exciting as it was when I was 20-something.
I completely agree. Every first date ive ever had has been tense and awkward. Even my ex-husband, our first date was odd. I always expect to have a not-so-great time, and as long as there weren't any red flags to give the person another chance.
But the last first date I went on was nothing like that. In all my 34 years ive never felt so comfortable with someone the moment I met them. It was surreal. Im still blown away and its two months later. We are officially a couple and I couldnt be happier. Im admittedly still leery, but so far so good! Good first date is a good sign and actually possible! Who knew??
Honestly… I think a lot of people enjoy doing little “petty” things in dating but feel awkward admitting it. Like checking your partner’s text patterns, seeing how long it takes them to reply, or getting a tiny thrill from sending a slightly mysterious message just to see their reaction.It’s harmless, a little gamey, but people usually feel weird admitting they actually like that part of the chase.
I don't know if it's enjoyed but something that doesn't bother is when no one has anything to say, that "uncomfortable silence" as some say, we are just people in the process of getting to know each other, it's a good thing to see how each one reacts
Honestly I don’t understand why this is such an important metric for people. I accept that most people have a “sl*t era” (both genders) where they experiment while single and have sex with various and sometimes many different partners. It’s part of growing up and learning what you like. I rather have a partner that has had some experience both sexually and in relationships / dating. It helps them know what they like. And if you’re sexually incompatible they’ll notice it early on. To me it’s not a measure of worth in any way (as a male). And if a woman would judge me on my “body count” I’d find it shallow, regardless of its 1 or 50 or anything in between
I like when the lady is sexually aggressive with me every once and a while. She wants a good romp in the bedroom, bathroom or living room? Come at me half naked or fully nude and claim me like a bull that wandered too far away from his pasture...then RIDE ME!!
The early attention and validation before things get serious
Enjoying being pampered or chased more than they admit.
Those first few weeks-months are always so fun.
The excitement, the unknown, what it might lead to or not
Dating lets people feel special without committing to being serious yet.
Everything new is always boosting dopamine
i love this. but if i can find someone where it remains exciting, i know he’s a keeper
So, a finger in the butt?
Someone asking about your day, interested in getting to know you and all that stuff
Not having feelings for someone until something clicks
this is how me and my boyfriend got together, literally friends for years, nothing ever happened, no feelings at all, and one day it felt like we just both like each other, 1 year together now🥰
Congratulations
Literally same! My bf and I were close friends for 6+ years. We didn't start being attracted to each other until around the time we started going out. I'm going to be moving in with him soon!
Similar situation now almost at 4 years it genuinely so wholesome
Did either of you have a career change around that time?
The main thing after this date, if this person is clearly not your type, is not to think "it was a waste of time." Instead, you should be glad you didn't feel that nagging feeling before the meeting and were able to have a good time before realizing you weren't meant to be
If it clicks, it clicks. If not, no amount of effort helps...
I
What is an example of this?
The validation that comes from dating someone conventionally attractive. Nobody wants to sound shallow, but let's be real, that little ego boost when your friends are like "damn, how'd you pull that?" feels pretty good. It shouldn't be the main thing, obviously, but it's a perk people pretend doesn't exist.
I think, a little bit of possessiveness. We’re all taught to be super chill and secure, but secretly, it feels really good when someone makes it clear they don't want to share you. Obviously there's a line where it becomes controlling or toxic, but that "you're mine" energy is weirdly validating.
I absolutely love a woman with a tad of possessiveness. I find it so hot and heartwarming that a woman has that ''back off, he's mine!'' attitude.
Some degree of possessiveness (I don't mean controlling or insecure behavior) would come with a monogamous relationship, whether we like to admit it or not
Some people lowkey love being chased even if they act annoyed.
especially when they say, no I will not give you my # stop following me! they're just playing shy
You know you've truly won them over when you get that restraining order against you.
Equal efforts.
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until you get catfished lol. but i agree the beginning is super exciting!
It happens! Especially the pictures from 3-5 years ago when they were way hotter. Or they’re larger than their pics would have had you believe.
Even better...
Or smaller. Like, way smaller. Like "and my axe!" smaller.
Really? First dates are a chore for me at this point.
I think the secret is not getting specifically excited for any first date. It's just an opportunity to meet another person, which should be potentially fun in and of itself. Let your feelings develop after meeting them, in whatever direction they choose to go. All I was looking for out of a date was a story-the worst dates were the boring ones!
[deleted]
You'll find it again, just usually not when you're expecting it!
First dates generally suck. There's an incredible amount posturing and evaluation as you try to figure out if this is a person you want to spend more time with while you carefully control how much of yourself you show. It's exhausting.
I mean, sure, in theory it's exciting. There's all this dramatic tension about how cool and interesting this new and unknown person could be, but I find that it's generally not as exciting as it was when I was 20-something.
I completely agree. Every first date ive ever had has been tense and awkward. Even my ex-husband, our first date was odd. I always expect to have a not-so-great time, and as long as there weren't any red flags to give the person another chance.
But the last first date I went on was nothing like that. In all my 34 years ive never felt so comfortable with someone the moment I met them. It was surreal. Im still blown away and its two months later. We are officially a couple and I couldnt be happier. Im admittedly still leery, but so far so good! Good first date is a good sign and actually possible! Who knew??
This is why i'm normally alright with sleeping together on the first date 🤣
I enjoyed nearly all of my first dates
Then you have been blessedly lucky.
A little bit of jealousy or possessiveness. Obviously not the toxic kind, but just enough to know they’re afraid of losing you
Feeling good when someone clearly prioritizes them, even if it’s a little clingy.
Honestly… I think a lot of people enjoy doing little “petty” things in dating but feel awkward admitting it. Like checking your partner’s text patterns, seeing how long it takes them to reply, or getting a tiny thrill from sending a slightly mysterious message just to see their reaction.It’s harmless, a little gamey, but people usually feel weird admitting they actually like that part of the chase.
Using MM-DD-YYYY format with local time when using dates instead of ISO 8601 in UTC time.
Yeah, your logs say 2025-12-13T06:30:00Z, we all know that's the correct way to do it. But we all just say 10:30AM today.
Underrated comment
And the ISO format is honestly so much straight forward and better understandable.
Finally being able to rip that fart that I had been holding in for hours.
I don't know if it's enjoyed but something that doesn't bother is when no one has anything to say, that "uncomfortable silence" as some say, we are just people in the process of getting to know each other, it's a good thing to see how each one reacts
Sex and how many partners
this one is true lol, i feel like there isnt as much pressure on the guy tho right??
Honestly I don’t understand why this is such an important metric for people. I accept that most people have a “sl*t era” (both genders) where they experiment while single and have sex with various and sometimes many different partners. It’s part of growing up and learning what you like. I rather have a partner that has had some experience both sexually and in relationships / dating. It helps them know what they like. And if you’re sexually incompatible they’ll notice it early on. To me it’s not a measure of worth in any way (as a male). And if a woman would judge me on my “body count” I’d find it shallow, regardless of its 1 or 50 or anything in between
A high school classmate really blossomed in college and I would message her and take her out but she said she only went on dates to get a free meal.
For me, it's liking the other person on the first date, but I'm too shy to admit it right away. Am I the only who feels this way?
Getting to know someone and literally every piece of them - it’s exciting getting to know someone
Talking about themselves for a lot of people
The validation
the validation no one wants to admit it, but feeling wanted is addictive.
Yeah I can see how that sounds addictive lol
Not knowing anything about the person besides what they look like. What you don't know can't annoy you and can't turn you off.
Finger in the bum
Dude here.
I like when the lady is sexually aggressive with me every once and a while. She wants a good romp in the bedroom, bathroom or living room? Come at me half naked or fully nude and claim me like a bull that wandered too far away from his pasture...then RIDE ME!!
Fun and behaviour like a child. No seriousness
He accepts me as a crossdresser
Introducing my pets to them… Maybe that’s weird but I will know if they are a good person or not based on how they respond.
PDA
Gender roles
The variety. It can be fun to date multiple people and that’s pretty taboo in our society.
You date multiple people mostly because you end up feeling no connection to them
Getting attention from other people while you’re in a relationship
People secretly love making their date a bit jealous that ego boost when they see an ex’s like. Feels hot… but admitting it? Me? Never!
Dating… did it one time and haven’t dated anyone in years.
I don’t want a shared life, mixed finances, marriage, kids etc.
I’m sexually active and won’t be monogamous.
I think they like the early attention and more attention than willing to do but they afraid to say it
Accidental creampies
no commitments. when you say it your branded as someone with out feelings that cares for sex only.
Cause you probably do lol
Dating. For example dating 3 or 4 girls for example but no commitments to any just one single person
..any answer I have people will legitimately tell me they disagree
...I'm a bit of a weird one
too curious, pls tell us :)
Based on his comment history he likes girls to dress him up in their clothes and humiliate him.
That's not true!
no comment
Now I’m curious
ikr we need an answer!!
I'm weird too and am curious what comes to mind for you
i wanna hear urs now too lol
I'm currently drawing a blank 😅 but if something should come to mind later then I'll come back to comment