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kalpytron originally posted:

The post is specifically in reference to women btw. Anyway, due to seeing both online and from family how awful men are to women and how rightfully scared women are of men, I've feeling guilty for existing as a man.

Things like r*** or m***** statistics being pretty much exclusively men just makes me feel like the only thing I'll ever make a woman feel is scared, and I just don't know if I can live with that.

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Get off the internet for a start.

this is low effort rage bait

Get off the internet and live in the real world.

Be a man, be proud of it and do the right thing.

Yes men do make us scared. More often than they should but not all men. Not even most men. A minority of men. As women, we can and do feel safe with men.

"Men are so bad, I'm embarrassed to be one" is a classic nice guy routine. It's basically just an ego protective narrative that says: "Men who are successful with women are bad. Therefore, I am good".

It's very transparent, comes of as manipulative and phoney, and isn't going to help you with women. Because everyone understands it's just a way to elevate yourself by minimising others - a sexual strategy, and a bad one at that. A loser's strategy.

It might work as a coping mechanism in your own mind, but it's not transferable to the minds of others. Other people aren't gonna go: "Wow, I'm so impressed by this guy for clearly being an exception!" Women aren't going to jump on your cock because you say you're "not like all the other men" (which is basically what you're saying).

A better strategy is to actually improve yourself, and be better - rather than trying to artificially lower what people perceive as the bar. 

I don't like it to be completely honest but this is why people want social media banned. A lot of people have no self control and just absorb everything they see.

I assure you if you go outside to school/work/streets you will see that the general topics won't be "I hate men/women".

You mention feeling unneeded as a man. We exist in a transitional time for masculinity. Traditional masculinity tends to value men only for what they provide materially, and it is true that women now need us less than they used to. It can feel impossible to be proud of being a man when we're often viewed more as problems than as allies. But you still have value as an individual, and that's how you need to look at yourself - not the demographics that strangers will categorize you by for their own ease.

Pure trolling

Go to therapy. What a ridiculous outlook. 

You have to help change the statistics. Talk with other men how to respect women. If a man is pressuring a woman, stand up for her. Teach your sons how to treat a woman with respect. Spread your knowledge to help change the tide. The world needs more of you, not less.

Ok Honey listen.

I can't with today's misandry, especially all over the Internet. It's getting out of hand.

Please understand that this is not what women think and how they feel about it in general. We know that the vast majority of men are good people...

I've had my fair share of bad experiences with men. But guess what, for every asshole in my life there were tens of men who showed me nothing but kindness. I have many amazing male friends who are wonderful people, fathers and husbands. All my long term partners were simply amazing and haven't done a single malicious thing to me. My husband is such a great person.

I have a son and it drives me crazy when I see posts on the Internet like 'mothers, teach your sons about consent' and crap like that... Ok, I teach him that constantly but I have yet to see posts like 'mothers, teach your daughters not to be gold diggers and don't baby trap men'. Because that would be symmetrical narration actually and equally rude.

I think we've gone too far with open man hating on the Internet. Try to go offline for a while maybe and please understand that the majority of women don't perceive men as assholes and constant threat.

Not all men are like this

Women in general need to be a bit more self aware, especially when in certain "unsafe" places, but this is not a major part of a woman's daily life. The fact that men are being stereotyped into r****** and whatever m***** means is a bit of a trend and nothing more. Talking points. Social media driven to excess. You being an individual man has nothing to do with bad male behavior, the same as one woman is not necessarily part of man hating culture.

Fuck sake stop wasting your life with this.

Stop letting the misandry get to you.

Men are physically bigger and stronger. In crimes that are committed with the aid of superior physical strength, men are going to commit more of those crimes.

But women are not push overs. Women are perfectly capable of ruining a man’s life.

I think, if you expanded your definition of gendered cruelty, women ruin just as many men’s lives as men do women’s.

It’s like looking at cats and dogs, and saying dogs are worse because dogs kill more cats than cats kill dogs. Not a fair comparison.

The fact that you are capable of feeling this shame is a good thing. It’s what separates us from them. We have the ability to assist in protecting women and promoting feminism through voting and holding other men accountable. This is no small responsibility and we can take pride in doing our part.

To a degree women are taught to fear men for obvious reasons so we're constantly on alert especially in certain situations but on the flip side we use politeness to prevent a situation from escalating and then that's interpreted in all sorts of ways and I think women need to learn how to deal with men who don't take well to being rejected or ignored. Thankfully some laws have changed that now protect women but it took deaths to be taken seriously. A lot of issues are now highlighted and spoken about so it can seem like these issues are constantly being spoken about, the thing is they always have been but just amongst women. We're suspicious of men who readily accuse women of misandry, as it's a knee jerk reaction to what women are saying but most of them are a bit fragile and often intimidated by strong women.

You shouldn't feel guilty for just existing, it's the men that do the crappy stuff that has led women to feeling unsafe and for men with no ill intentions to feel the way you've described. Women have been getting the crappy end of the deal throughout history. We know it's not all men but the fact that's there's enough men that do these things keeps us feeling afraid.

Be a man of integrity and honor. Treat those around you and your environment with respect. You are the only one in control of your actions so if you chose to be worthless, feared, and unneeded, then that is on you. The mistakes of others is not yours to bear. Like others said, get off the internet too if these negative thoughts are influencing you too much.

Just don't rape or murder... More serious you are only responsible for your own action, so do something that you feel gives worth to your life.

You go to gym and you become a real man.

Besides, men commit more rape and murder against other men than against women, so your fear is not only useless but also irrational. Go to gym.

++woman  As a woman I would say it is a good thing to be aware of those things. Know that there are ways for women to feel safe around you, they are ways you can be "needed" and it is just by being a good human. Not nice, but good. I am personally scared of men in general but I can feel when someone is genuine, careful, self aware. If you question women about there experiences with men and develop your emotional maturity, it will help a lot with improving the way you communicate and behave with women, and therefore you'll have less chance to scare women!!

We NEED self aware and kind men. You are worth so much because you are sensitive and we need men like you. 

1 Don't get a wrong picture of men. 90-90% of men are quite good people

"But all murderes or rapists are men". Even if thats true, let's hear at this: Every pope until now was a men. Is the revrse case also true, that every men is a pope? Of course, this is an extreme case, but it shows the logical false assumption behind that "But every X are men/women..."

2 I refer to other people: Get off the internet. Really.

As a woman I can say that yes, I am cautious when it comes to men I don't know very well. But I can also say that most men that I know are good men and I'm not scared of them. I also appreciate men, I think if I can generalise here I would say you are hard working and self sacrificing in many ways and it doesn't go unnoticed. You are not unneeded. The fact that you even think about this topic at all makes you needed. We need more men to tell or show other men (and women) what is okay and what's not. The statistics are a bit grim, but all we can do as individuals is set an example to our friends and family members and hopefully it makes them think and make an impact on people close to them.

I would also say that what you see online is not necessarily everyday reality. Online is a safe space for a lot of women to talk about their bad experiences so they do, they don't talk about the good experiences they have daily because that is expected, that's how things should be and mostly are. We mostly say something when something is wrong, but that doesn't mean something is wrong most of the time.