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ghostedgoats originally posted:

Title. Also sorry I know variations of this question gets asked a lot. I don’t have a lot of guy friends that work out hence why I’m coming to Reddit

I’m 30F and I go to the gym almost every morning. There’s this guy at one of the gyms I go to during the week that I developed a gym crush on and I definitely see him checking me out often (like from all the way across the gym), so I’m pretty sure it’s mutual. A lot of guys straight up won’t approach girls at the gym (or in general), so I’ve resolved I’m going to be the one to make the first move.

However, anytime I look at threads on this in this sub or the ask women subs, it’s a mix of comments saying “leave him alone he’s working out!” or to just be direct which is my plan, so just want to gain some insight from some strangers. Do you guys want to be approached at the gym, even on weekday mornings, and if so, how do you want to be approached in a way that’s direct and not being super awkward and offering a spot? Thanks in advance!

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Yes please!!

Men want to be approached , anything after that is a yes 9 times out of ten

You could literally approach me on the toilet. 

Please approach me at the gym. I don't care if you are a sexy lady or a bog monster or a dude. I'm so lonely.

As I'm extremely introverted I'd love to be approached lol

I’ve been approached by a few dudes, and even that makes me feel like a $1M.

There's absolutely no need for that whole long explanation, or even the second half of the question.

Do men want to get approached?

Yes.

In general men would like to be approached.

Especially with how things have been in the last few years. It's highly difficult for men to know if it's truly okay to approach women.

So if women approach men it's an entirely different thing.

In some cases whatever dude you're looking at may also want to approach you. Just doesn't know if he'll land in the thin sliver of "this will go well" that exists.

Hell yea we want it

Yes, approach. All is well.

You'd be hard pressed to find a guy who wouldn't find it flattering getting approached anywhere, anytime. Shoot your shot!

For smalltalk as a starter, sure why not.. with the exception if I'm wearing buds. If I have music on, I actually plan to only get disturbed for warnings or emergencies or something, not to talk on what I think about todays weather.

Yes.

100% yes.

If it saves me from starting a conversation, good.

The question itself indicates a massive disconnect from the male experience. I hope some of the answers can reach you.

Men are not approached enough by anyone besides salespeople to even consider being annoyed.

If you were a woman alone in a city, walking in desolation for a month would you be "annoyed" if a person approached you for a chat? That's essentially where most men are at.

Men want to be approached everywhere. You could approach at a funeral and still have success 8/10 times.

I'm a man and I'm officially done approaching. It's 2025. I want women to approach

There are so many reasons for a man to not approach a woman, especially at the gym: the rejection, being called a creep, being accused of sexual harrassment, being videoed and humiliated online, and being ostracized or maybe even be told to leave the gym. For a woman, the only reason would be the rejection.

So what would you say?

Most men are just keeping their head down and working out, and a quick introduction of yourself would be sooo welcome for alot of men. Go for it.

Yep. Just say hello and don’t make it a thing. Kudos to you for being willing.

I love it when women approach me at the gym.

Yes. I just wish that if a woman were interested in me, she would rack her weights, walk over, pick me up a foot off the ground so we would be at eye level, and say "You are small but I like you."

The people who tell you that men don't want to be approached while working out are women pretending to be men. Men want to be approached essentially anywhere. Just wait until they're in between sets haha.

Yes but only if you are not trying to approach and then withdraw then expecting me to chase

As an introverted male, I’d love to be approached a girl basically anywhere at anytime

Nobody wants to be that guy. Your fellow girls kinda fucked it up for you. Just say hi, if hes short, hes married or dating someone, if hes overjoyed you said hi well maybe it goes somewhere, but in the gym its 💯 on the girl to initiate because they are the minority.

If a woman approaches me in a friendly way that's not pushy, and I'm not interested, I'm not going to mind.  If I am interested in talking more I'm going to make that very clear.  If I don't do this and she persists, I will mind.

Please do

Anywhere is good

Anytime anywhere. It would be the first time and I would remember it for the rest of my life.

You can approach us anywhere and we will be flattered, so go ahead.

Hell yeah, loves these answers, imma approach this guy at the gym this week if I see him

At the gym, at the grocery store, whilst driving, while performing CPR, in the middle of the Peloton during the Tour de France.

Just do it.

Edit - I am not affiliated with Nike, but I am open to be approached by them for sponsorship opportunities.

Are you asking if it's ok to talk to people at the gym? Yes it's fucking fine. I mean, how did we get to this point? What's happened!

There are gym rats and workout warriors who are totally in their own world. Don’t mess with them.

For most of the rest of us, by all means. We are there for health care and not necessarily for any pleasure. Plus, an interruption by an interesting woman will substantially improve our mental health.

It depends who's approaching, of course.

++man same as everyone, you can be forward as long as you're respectful and around their age and level of attractiveness. If you are not, you'll need some skillful casual convo to get around it.

66m -never happened and not likely anymore. If I was younger I would like to be engaged at the gym.

"Hi, are you single and would you like to hang out?" Change the words if they don't fit for you personally but idk why it needs to be more complicated than that. He may be giving you eyes from across the gym but be ready for rejection on every approach. Because giving you the eyes doesn't mean he's single or interested. It probably does, and guys are easier than girls to approach, so you'll probably get a positive response, but you need to be ready for rejection so you don't act awkward or weird if it happens.

Yes, please!

Yes.

If anyone approached me at the gym I would assume I forgot to cancel my membership and start to wonder how I got there.

Women who approach men have a better shot at getting the man they want then those that don't.

So yes, approach men. Just be aware you may catch many off guard because it doesn't happen often. They need time to adjust to what's happening like being in complete darkness then someone turns on the light and it's very bright at first until their eyes adjust.

Men want to get approached anywhere, anytime. Just go for it.

The gym is for work, not bullshit.

Most men won’t mind being approached, but don’t do something like ask for “help” with your squats or be so forward that it’s awkward. Just introduce yourself saying you see him at the gym all the time. Offer him your name and from there if he’s interested he’ll likely take the lead. If he simply gives a polite response and nothing more. Say nice to meet you and walk away before it causes discomfort when you’re both in the gym in the future

I have a gym crush I’m nervous to approach. He looks really into his workouts.

Yes

Yes

It’s not about where but about whom. So if He’s also checking you out, then yes.

Yes

If I’m out in the open area and clearly not in the middle of a set, yes. I don’t care don’t bother me while I’m trying to lift

All but one of my serious relationships have come about because I was approached or messaged first by a woman.

I'm an introverted man who loves writing and being creative.

so yeah, I love being approached.

Obviously

you can approach me at my best friend's funeral and I'll be flattered af

You can approach men anywhere.

Its cool but dont interrupt his set, catch him before, after or dur8ng a water break.

just say hi to him at a good time. see what happens. if it seems like he is reserved and remaining distant move on. no harm in introducing yourself there isn’t really any social blow back from doing that

I go to the gym on my weekends off, I don't mind if a woman approaches me. Just get my attention because most guys are wearing headphones or earbuds.

I don't approach women because they are with their friends or with other guys.

I’ve been approached many times. They will comment on my body. I flirt right back. It’s fun.

Short answer is yes.

Long answer is still a yes for most guys, just know the feeling may not be reciprocated. Worst case is probably him bragging later “I was asked out and said no thanks.”

Yes

Yes

Yeah, approach me with a bottle of water and clean towel. Show some effort. 

Unlike most women apparently, men love, love, love being approached any time anywhere. Even if we’re taken, the fact that someone even cared about you enough to approach you is flattering. And something most of us will carry with us most of our lives. With my average looks when I was younger (now 63 and married 40 years) typically have never approached me, but the 3-4x it’s happened I was just like “aww, hey, I’m sincerely flattered, but I’m happily married” and they all went on their way. When I was single, I think the only time I was approached by a girl was in 3rd or 4th grade when she slipped me a note in class declaring her undying love for me. Seriously, I was like 8 y/o… I shrugged and said “okay, I guess”. I was so smooth 😂

Men want to be approached anywhere. So long as they are on the market.

++man If a woman ever approached me at the gym that would be a major life highlight for me.

Please approach me anywhere

I like to get approached anywhere. Im a chatty guy who loves to meet new people.

In the gym, on a bus, at the beach in a church

On the street in a tree, everywhere just approach me.

We dont mind at all. We usually dont because its considered creepy. Sometimes it happens organically but that too depends.

Generally, at the gym, naw. You don't really want to make a habit of shopping around for romance at the gym.

But if you're feeling the chemistry with this particular guy and think it's reciprocated, don't let something like generalities stop you. Maybe don't go right away to asking, try to build rapport first.

Ehhh I would legit think it's a prank and there's a hidden camera somewhere 🤣

Personally, I'd rather be approached in the parking lot. I don't typically want my workout interrupted, but I'm still friendly if someone does.

Yeah just pick your time. If hes a serious trainer he wont want to be bothered between sets, maybe wait until hes at the fountain or packing up to go maybe.

Good luck tho, its great youre trying to do it respectfully!

I think it’s wonderful to be willing to approach. But be tactful and read the response/body language. And if they’re not interested, don’t push and back off. When I’ve got my earbuds in on the treadmill, I don’t want to be interrupted except for an emergency. If I’m walking between equipment or taking a water break, totally fine.

If you think there's signs than try your luck

If it's a dude headphones spaced out to the world best to leave him alone although when his set is done he might be social

Essentially same way women would want it handled for themselves

Most men have given up on approaching for many a reason.. women still haven't figured out why hahaha.

Although id say most men would like to be approached maybe in the gym is a bad place he could easily be labeled something.

Maybe you finish your routine ealry and wait outside and just "happen" to catch him as he leaves and say something? Your still in public like the parking lot or whatever while also not being in a situation that puts him in a weird place.

Men for the most part don’t mind

If im attracted to you, yes

Guys want to be approached, yes, but I dont know if the gym is the best place for that. I'm sure reddit will call me gay, but, if I'm at the gym, I'm not there to socialize, I'm there to get some gains.

Men only want to be approached between the hours of 00.01 and 23.59

I’ve seen women approach men in the gym. Some thirstier than others. I wouldn’t mind it. I wouldn’t approach in the gym though. I just don’t feel comfortable doing it in that setting and I’m a get in, get it done and get out type of guy.

Yes. Ask him to coffee.

Yes.

I've been going to the gym for 20 years and never been approached. It'd be nice.

Don't ask women's subs for any kind of advice that isn't women's health, safety, or career/school. They just police women on everything.

Of course. Friendly people are always welcome to say hi to me at the gym. Or anywhere really. Have we lost all sense of community and connection?

I've been approached on the street, but not at the gym- it's possible that I'm so into working out, it zooms over my head.

I'd love to be approached at the gym, but I have it in my head that the gym isn't a meat market, especially for women.

Oh, wait- there was a time I was lying on a mat, cooling down, and scrolling my phone. I sensed someone walking around me. When I looked up, this woman kinda nodded her head at me, and gave a small wink. I wasn't attracted, so went back to my phone.

Yes ++man

Approach us anywhere. You have my permission.

As a 40m id love to get approached. Not sure if it’s my age but yeah def don’t get approached anymore even if it’s just for a yarn

Men are animals they want to be approached anywhere and everywhere

Did you say "one of the gyms i go to" how many gyms do you belong to? Are you rich or is this what people can do when they don't have kids?

In my previous life I hated interacting with anyone at the gym since im channeling anger and usually all hopped up and stimulants. However there was one girl that I started a thing with with because we knew each other from the gym but had our 1st actual conversation at a farmers market. We then started working out together and then one thing just lead to another.

So maybe do some stalking and then not so randomly run into him somewhere.

Just make sure he’s not in the middle of a set and during a rest break, that’s about all.

Unlike women, most men don’t really care or feel scared if you approach us. At worst it’s inconvenient and you’re not interesting to us, and most guys will still be polite to you because we don’t get approached. At best you’re interesting to us and we’re quite excited you broke the ice.

Just don’t expect that because you approach you’ll have success. Just because guys aren’t typically approached and most will be nice doesn’t mean we’re going to be into you. I’ve had some women who I have zero interest in approach me at the gym before. I politely talked to them and moved on so they knew I wasn’t that interested. Older women in their 40s love to try their luck it seems.

Yes. Go near him and ask for help moving a plate or walk in his way and say excuse me and start talking

I would say in general a man will be surprised and happy a woman approached them.

If I was a single man, absolutely I would.

Speaking solely for myself. There's no place that I don't want to be approached

A woman approaching a man at the gym is not only acceptable but desirable for most men. Worst that happens is he is not interested. More than likely you will make his day / week.

Heck yeah! I don’t want to bother you all but if someone came up to me I would view it positively

Yes, but approach directly. No hinting. No flirting. No conversation. Just: "Hey, you're hot but I can see you're working out. Here's my number. Call me." Then hand him a slip with your number on it.

Of course, if he doesn't call you, then you're in the awkward position of seeing him again over and over.

It wouldn't bother me but at the same time that's the last thing on my mind and I'd most likely be sweaty and not very attractive looking at the time lol

I generally wouldn't mind, as long as timing is decent. In other words, not when I'm between resting between sets (I'm technically free but head in the zone), probably not when I'm extremely winded after a particularly tough workout, and definitely not mid-lift lol.

If I'm walking between areas, on my way out, or basically not occupied though... Yeah go for it.

Really direct and clear. EVERY guy has heard that you never approach women at the gym, so you’ll have to do all the work.

Most guys you want to be around with for a long time are very approachable in the gym. Just don’t stop them while they’re actively lifting. There’s plenty of time during sets to go over and talk. Can open up the conversation by asking about working out. If he is interested he’ll be very talkative.

++man If we (men) want to be approached at all, most of us do not care where you're approaching us, as long as it's not at his parents funeral or something, you're fine to approach him, it doesn't matter whether it's at the gym, bathroom, or if he's alone, or with friends. Also, because men are simultaneously expected to do all of the approaching, and to never approach anyone out of fear for bothering them, basically all men would love to be approached, and most of us have never been

I'm married but I would have no issue with a woman approaching me at the gym. It wouldn't go anywhere but I wouldn't find it awkward etc.

I'd be thrilled, as long as it wasn't mid-set or something.

I wouldn't know how to react if this actually happened, though.

If the chick is attractive, yes.

Do not confuse women and men

Women get approached so often (in general) they get annoyed if it happens when theyre doing something like the gym where its not the norm.

Men do not get approached (in general) almost ever. So any encounter is actually welcome.

I’m at the gym to get huge, not to talk to you.

Usually I notice girls that look at me, slowly start to workout nearby more often or ask gym related questions relative to the environment. If he isn’t awkward and wants to talk to you more after that then he should on his own. Usually I don’t want to talk to women at the gym for the purposes of getting to know someone. Now if it’s a woman that I’m friends with already or know from the gym I’ll give them high-fives and we joke around and chat but that’s basically the same way I treat my gym bros

Pretty much no man is going to be bothered by being approached as it is so rare unless you are some uber stud. (maybe even then?)

I might think you are running some sort of scam because it is so rare but that is another issue.

I get approached a lot in the gym and I strongly dislike it, but I seem to be the minority here. I'd rather you shoot me a dm online so I can respond when I'm in the mental state for that instead of when I'm in the gym jacked up on enough caffeine to kill an elephant and blasting viking death metal through the ear buds while I fantasize that somehow lifting this weight is necessary to save all humanity in an effort to squeeze out a PR.

Otherwise approaching me when I'm at a social event works as well. Like if I'm out at the bar and hanging out then you can shoot your shot there or if we're at a party you can shoot your shot there because I'm in the right mental state to socialize and flirt already.

If you are locking eyes, you should motion him to come over to you with a smile, that would be the perfect opening for him. If he is invited, he should not be worried about bothering you. You will find a fun way to do this.

Yes 🖐️

I feel like for most of us is not that we want to be approached but we either don’t mind it (as long as it’s respectful) or we take it as a compliment.

Women said the gym is for only working out and not to stare at them as they go on Instagram.

Don’t hit on men in the gym. They are there to work out just like women.

Back in the days when there's no Tinder, it's always approach, approach and approach. I think the 80s adult really grow up to be more assertive and take rejection better, our generation really suffer from cancel culture and approach anxiety.

Men generally love being approached. As always, it comes down to how you do it, but the mere act is amazing. The rest is down to fundamentals like tone, touch, conversation skills, looks, and personality.

Protip: NEVER get approach advice from someone who doesn't regularly approach successfully. Ask the women saying "DoN't ApPrOaCh At ThE gYm" how consistently they succeed in general. Because if they don't, the gym is the least of their issues.

Yall why are people still asking this, the answer is a resounding yes

If u are hot, yes

I would say shoot your shot or forever live in regret. I have been approached before in the gym and always appreciated it as I think women who make the first move are pretty confident (which I find very attractive).

Generally yes but the men women find attractive enough to approach are generally tall and handsome so they might already have women throwing themselves at them. So if he is there is a fair chance he will reject you.

maybe. either he's checking you out because he genuinely wants you or he's just entertaining himself while he's at the gym with stuff he knows he can't have because he's in a relationship already. there's only one way to find out.

i would most like to be approached by you(or the ideal fellow gym goer) coming up to me and asking if i would like to work out together. starting off with some talk about exercise routines, fitness goals and challenges, before segueing into other light personal topics.

Yes, men do no care if they get approached at the gym, majority of men would LOVE for a women to approach them in ANY setting!

Just go over and ask for a spot and see where it goes from there.

Do you smile at him? Do you give him a look?

Yes

Wait until he is done his work out and heading out then run after him and tackle him. Okay joking about the tackle but wait till he is done and heading out and then approach him.

"Hey! Sorry to bother you but I see you working out here quite often and for some reason I get the impression you are an interesting person. Would you have any interest in going out for a smoothie or a coffee with me after your work out some time? It would be my treat.....oh my name is 'insert your first name here' by he way."

No need to thank us for the tips but 4-5 years from now we all expect to be invited to the wedding.

Just do it 😒++man

If it is a respectful approach then it is fine

But if its you creeping or following him around the gym staring, then no

JFC. Go ask the guy out. Where else do you see this person? That's right, you see him only at the gym. I have no idea what the chances are you'll meet at a local bar or party or whatever, but you know where to find him NOW, before the chance is gone for good. He might be moving across town and go to another gym soon, or decide he's waited long enough without a clear sign from you that he should approach , and calls another woman....any number of things. You're not supposed to wait with stuff like this.

I can't speak for all men, but as a man I'd love to be approached, period, and not have to worry about making you uncomfortable if I approach you.

A little talking will never hurt anyone. 

I only read the title. The only time I would not want to be approached is if it is obvious that I am with another woman and even then I would not mind because it would help me with the woman I am with.

hell yea, go for it and best of luck

++man Yes go ask him out, no single guy ever is too busy working out at the gym to ignore a girl asking them out that they had been checking out … Let us know how it goes.

men always want to be approached. unless your in a hospital or at a funeral (or at his wedding lmao)

Personally I wouldn't mind being approached at the gym, though in the morning I'd probably be too tired to realize you were flirting with me no matter how you approached it.

Would probably need some consistency so it isn't just a one time odd encounter

++man

Approach me. As a 63-year-old man working nights and going to the gym at 0200, my opportunities to meet women anywhere are limited. I wouldn't mind talking during the 60 seconds' rest between bench sets

I was gonna comment, but I think these top comments covered it…

You could have simply asked « Do men want to be approach? » in general, probably would get the same answers ☺️

Yes. Always yes.

Yes please

"Is grass green?" ahh question

Gym rat here, yes, approach him. I would also never approach a girl at the gym because a) I don’t want to interrupt her workout, and b) (and most important) I don’t want to be one of “those guys” that are always hitting on the girls at the gym. I see it all the time and I see girls reactions to it. I would rather the girl make the initial contact to let me know it’s ok.

As of most questions, some do some don't. In this case I'd say the ones that do are a majority. Just keep it respectful.

Just not mid-set. Please let the guy finish his grunty set and put the weights down before you say 'hello'. Or expect a bit of a grunty "whuuuuuuuuuut I whuuuuuuuunt?" 🤣🤣🤣

You can always approach and tell him you like and wanted to meet him and leave your phone number in a piece of paper so he can text you later after his work out.

Definitely yea

Anytime, anywhere. 100% will still never happen though, women will be 50% single by 2030 so we will all end up alone! Yay!

The answer is always yes.

Men as a group are starved for attention.

Even platonic attention.

Anyone who claims they’re drowning in it is a liar 🤥

Men cannot approach women at the gym without taking a risk of losing their gym membership if she complains to management. if I match a girl on an app while I’m at the gym, I can message her through the app. Much safer.

Sure. Always good to have a nice chat.

men would like to be approached at a funeral.

What are you going to say to him? ++man

I want to be approached everywhere. Literally anywhere. Knock on my stall door while I poop and tell me I'm cute of you want.

++man

Absolutely!

Please, do. We are not allowed to as you pointed out.

Men want to be approached.

Men are not women. We don't lash out at people that approach us.

++ man

Yes

married a long time now. but i had 1 gf approach me in a gym, and 1 fwb approach me in a gym.

when i'm lifting i'm focused on one thing, but it does work.

not all men. Some are there for goals

I would enjoy it. I'd have to let you down though, because my wife gets annoyed when I date other people

Not during excercise. Maybe before or after.

The answer is always yes, if you're like a 5+

Want specifically - no. But I also wouldn't mind that 🤷‍♂️

Yes. The gym is as good as any other place to 'have a chat'... but make it happen in a safe way...! 😃 😊

I would. I’ve seen a few women who look at me but when I look back they turn away. I don’t want to be a creepy guy so I don’t approach them.